One afternoon after returning from work so fatigued, I had to take a nap (nap turned to a real four hours sleep). I woke up during eventide and felt like getting fruits myself by the roadside just about a stone-throw from my place.
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As I was moving, sth just told me cucumber will be ideal, therefore, I had to cross to the other side of the road to get it.
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I was heading home and that same sth in my head that has been advising me since I woke up opined that it's suggesting I buy groundnuts to eat the cucumbers along. It also spiced everything in my head once like: 'after the buying of the groundnut and you reach home, why not just put the cucumber in the fridge to chill a little, then enjoy it with the groundnut.' Well, it seemed nice. I had to go back to get groundnuts.
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Now, this was where the problem started.
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I thought about not coming outside again so I wanted to get everything that will definitely keep me indoors. I bought some fried meat and kpomo. Waiting for my balance, I was thinking whilst searching for other things I likely will need.
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I bin dey reason wetin I wan use step down those things I don tanda. I was like '..should I buy this Zero Coke or Hollandia Yogurt or should..' I was interrupted by seeing Sop (short for Sopuruchi) closeby who's 1. Has always pestered me to know where I stay, 2. I don't like her way of life, coupled with fact that she was ready to just come, come dey swallow kpomo anyhow with toothpick without conscience. Personally too, I'm not the sort who brings anyone to my place and dont like unauthorized visits.
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She's so self-centered that before you say Jack, she's uncorked one Heneiken and flushed it down her throat, and still be talking rubbish with you between mouthfuls of more swallowed beef. She's well known for that. Believe me bro, I've seen her attack sb so I took cover and I wasn't ready to overspend (when salary no go even come until two weeks later).
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I walked then entered into a close there. God so kind, an uncompleted building (duplex) was adjacent with gates opened so I stood there and remembered I had to call a friend I promised I'd call a day before.
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I dailed the number relaxed on a wall stamping a foot repeatedly. I could hear some noise the other side of the building: maybe they were partying I thought.
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As the phone was still connecting, ha, I was just hearing another strange noise. I thought my ears where deceiving and resounding the stamping of my foot more loudly. Nna eh, chains were beginning to hit together and the ground shaking like sth was about to collapse.
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O crazy me, I bent down to the ground as if to hear if the ground was mumbling till it barked! It was a dog! No be bingo, I mean a DOG! If you see how big this dog was!
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I swiftly started climbing the [uncompleted] staircase to save my life from this fat-headed brutal merciless lion-type dog. It dived at my leg (oh my cool leg)... but a chain stopped it from reaching the first floor where I mounted.
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I didn't even realise sth initially; the music stopped playing. I didn't take notice. I dey up there (feeling I defeated the dog), I bent and poured some sand as ' talk bark to the hand' abi was it to scare it? Dog was just gnashing its teeth looking at me. I even did ntoor to it. I decided to urinate on it cos I thought it wouldn't understand a middle finger. Of course, I spat at the asshole. That wasn't all. I take stone dey stone the dog until I turned around to meet many seated human beings looking at me (I mean very many people) who was attending a burial adjacent the wall; the MISDEEMED PARTY.
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Chai, I wished I could just disappear that day. I was like 'father lord, just take my soul.' I couldn't go down and nowhere to hide. The MC was even on MIC like: 'Please, young man.., hello young man, yes you, we'll like you to come down as we'll like to continue please. ' Na me come mumu come signal am (cos he wouldn't hear me if I talked from there) make e come close and told him my ordeal. The mumu MC carry MIC announce am say who get dog over the building to go shift am say 'to help this innocent stranded young man' there. People laughed me die. Just imagine a very tall cute light-skinned guy wey carry nylon on a building na. The matter just tire me.
This life no just balance.
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Well, it was one hell of an experience. Na that day I know there's a very giant difference between a dog and a bingo.
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Las las, I still jam Sop for road as I was going home very nervous and angry. Wetin just dey ring my mind na 'just dare call me, in fact, just dare look at me.. If I no on LCD for you now..'
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Well, I look back at some things that transpired long ago and I can only laugh.
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Please share your experiences with dogs.

Unspeakable woes O @Chatinent you want me to recall. To tell how a german shepherd disgraced me in front of my crush. Both the scenes of misery which I myself beheld and other scenes of which I am the principal party. Though I shudder at the mere remembrance of it but yet will I refrain from telling my woes.

seanblaise:
Unspeakable woes O @Chatinent you want me to recall. To tell how a german shepherd disgraced me in front of my crush. Both the scenes of misery which I myself beheld and other scenes of which I am the principal party. Though I shudder at the mere remembrance of it but yet will I refrain from telling my woes.

Just say it, bro. I'm used to thinking my experience is the most brutish. Please share yours.

Sometime ago, my neighbors had two dogs Vanity and the other one

That faithful day,I was back from school and my elder bro had gone to sit with those neighbors of ours at the backyard. After having my meal, I decided to join him,so I had to use the front of their house to get to the backyard. On my way,one of the dogs was just resting at their verandah, I was passing and instead of focusing on my trip, I was busy maintaining eye contact nonstop with it,the next thing viam!!!! The dog took after me and I started running and screaming mummy oo mummy OK mummy oo till I even passed where I was going. They saw my ordeal and called the dog back and they laughed hysterically.

Felt bad that day oo honestly

kleverley:
Sometime ago, my neighbors had two dogs Vanity and the other one

That faithful day,I was back from school and my elder bro had gone to sit with those neighbors of ours at the backyard. After having my meal, I decided to join him,so I had to use the front of their house to get to the backyard. On my way,one of the dogs was just resting at their verandah, I was passing and instead of focusing on my trip, I was busy maintaining eye contact nonstop with it,the next thing viam!!!! The dog took after me and I started running and screaming mummy oo mummy OK mummy oo till I even passed where I was going. They saw my ordeal and called the dog back and they laughed hysterically.

Felt bad that day oo honestly

I can relate. My bro, if you accidentally see your face in a mirror while running bro, you mayn't recognize you.

Happened years back. Was sent to go drop off something at a family friend's house. I met their mum and my padi/egbon and he was down with malaria but recovering. It was time to take my leave so he said he'd see me off. I told him not to bother so he wouldn't interrupt his rest. Baba insisted. (If only he had an idea of what was coming up )

We got outside their gate and he was gisting me about stuff while on our way down the street, and then somewhere close by, I heard the sound of a gate being opened (the latch usually behind the non-pedestrian gate) then I saw a gate swing open in the distance as three angry looking dogs literally flew in our direction, with fangs all out .
(In life, you definitely have no idea of ur full speed and you most likely won't attain it till the day you're in danger or something is chasing you and you've got adrenaline pumping madly in ur veins )

Next thing I saw, my sick egbon was running like a mad sprinter in the opposite direction towards the left side of the street screaming : "Ayé mi ti baje o" With two of the dogs hot on his heels . Mehn, the last of the three was behind me, I ran back in the direction we were coming from. Luckily for me, their house's fence wasn't too high, so I leapt over like an Olympic pole-vaulter and landed in their compound.
Their mom saw me and knew something was wrong . But I was out of breath so I couldn't explain what happened till few mins had passed. By then , my egbon was back with blood all over his legs, he had injured himself while running into an uncompleted building. Needless to say tho, he was healed of the malaria instantly ( you'd receive ur healing too when you've got one Rottweiler and a large German Shepherd trying to get a bite of your ass) ... if those dogs had caught up with either of us tho, that person would have been toast . We later learnt the owner of the dogs was on his way out and he was the only one at home so the dogs escaped from their enclosure and ran out while the gate was open mehn, twas one heck of a crazy experience

Well, mine was that I had to overpower two massive pitbulls and tied them up in a dump for their owners to come pick without sustaining a single scratch. How I did it I am one very strong, swift and brave guy. Has faced worse situations and came unscathed.

my family dog kills a kid (goat) anytime he escaped from our compound. He don't go after people, chicken or grown goats, just the kids.

we have paid for damages, severally.

I'm dexterous in neutralizing aggressive dogs.
So, don't have much of an experience.

But I always have a good laugh whenever my dog seize on the opportunity of me opening the gate, to run out. The way my neighbours run helter scatter on sighting the dog is damn hilarious

chatinent:

I can relate. My bro, if you accidentally see your face in a mirror while running bro, you mayn't recognize you.

Lolz.. I was on top speed that day. I've zoophobia though

Dog no chase me, dog bite me around 2005 he no funny that day,dey Kon dey give me medicine Put many things for my leg dey give me antirabies I Kon ask that woman say shey I go fit work again she just dey laugh say no problem
For my mind I be like problem dey O if I no use this my leg work again that your dog we go kill am
And that dog big Na all those Austrasian dog
Ever since then I no move near dog again.even one my pal wey I dey go him house steady dey play game the day hin buy dog like this Na that day I no go there again last month he call me say guy how far now I no see you for my side again I tell am say make he no worry say he get why

Being chased by a dog was a norm in our hood back then during my primary school, sometimes we would go look for its trouble and get chased just for fun

The not so funny part was the day I was being chased by a goat, a very stubborn goat in the hood wey don chop curses taya from farmers for always eating their crops

pTomz:
Being chased by a dog was a norm in our hood back then during my primary school, sometimes we would go look for its trouble and get chased just for fun

The not so funny part was the day I was being chased by a goat, a very stubborn goat in the hood wey don chop curses taya from farmers for always eating their crops

na bingo dey chase you, no be dog. when dog chase you, you'll know the difference

Shedrack777:
na bingo dey chase you, no be dog. when dog chase you, you'll know the difference

lol that’s why I don’t joke with those big mfs anytime I see them chained in someplace

Lol
I've been chased by a dog, chased by a monkey and even a fucking mother hen

As for the dog's own
Went to go see a friend , in that their street I don't know if dey curse dem cuz almost every compound has its own dog ...So as I was jejely walking to my guys house , I saw it and stopped in my tracks ,it did d same .
I looked and all the gates were locked so where did dis bastard come out from ... In the twinkle of an eye ,the dog started chasing me . I ran to d road thinking d dog would go back cuz of cars , omo it didn't ... I had to run into a supermarket and take cover before d dog went away.

As for d monkey and hen dats for another
day.

My experience was was a funny one.
It happened last year, I travelled to spend my holiday with a close family friend.
I arrived there at night, the dogs (a rottweiler, GSD and a pup) welcomed my arrival with barking as usual with strangers, but she managed to calm them down, we went inside and I settled in..

Well the next morning, the dogs gave me the greatest scare of my life that I still smile each time I remember it. I was in the sitting room when I noticed that the dogs where hitting on the burglary proof just outside the house (didn't know that the dogs could actually remove the pad lock themselves once it's unlocked).
I saw through the window that the dogs have already passed the burgary proof and heading towards the main door which was slightly opened. I got up from the chair I was sitting on and ran to close the door fully so they won't get inside. JJC like me didn't know that the dogs knew their way around the house, they went to look for another entrance-the kitchen door!

I was heaving a sigh of relief thinking the dogs were gone only for me to open my eyes and I saw them right in front of me. I was scared and surprised at the same time that I began shouting at the top of my voice, aaaaahhhh! and the whole family came running from their various rooms thinking the dogs had bitten me already. Those dogs nearly gave me a heart attack that day, they were actually fierce-looking especially the rott with her intimidating size.

I later bonded with the dogs and we became friends, they even welcomed me each time I came back from my outings.

Mine was in secondary school, me and my classmates (brothers and sister). We always look for one dog trouble so this particular day this dog chased us, come see temple run, we all jumped on big gutter Except the girl she couldn't jump. The next thing we hear Is the girl negotiating with the dog saying "it's not me x2,see the people looking for your trouble am not among oooo" sha the dog left her and walked away. The whole class hear the whole gist the next day.

Reading y'all comments and experience(s) has been so funny af.

As for me, I don't look for trouble @ all, I have no record of ever being chased by dog and I will never have IJN.

The fear of big ass dogs is the begining of wisdom.

It was very early around 5:34am(time for prayers)
I got woken up to go to mosque, but went back to sleep, then I woke up exactly in the middle of the prayer when I heard prayer sounds.
I just bolted. On my way running I stepped on some sleeping Dogs. Oh boy! na so Dogs start to chase me, them chase me sotayy we enter mosque together. Oh boy, see as mosque scatter. What happened next I can't say.

Haaa

In the days of yore, was in primary school then, after I came back from school, mum sent me an errand to go greet one of her friends in the neighborhood, on my way back I saw this fierce looking dog barking at me with all its fangs out.

As a stubborn boy wey I be that year, naso I pick one stone for ground come stone the dog, naso the dog vex begin pursue me ooo, I come think say I fit outrun the dog naso the race begin ooo, I come dey look back occasionally, to my greatest surprise, the dog don begin close the gap wey dey between us, na that time I know say I don enter real trouble.
So I tried to increase my speed naso I fall yakata for ground ooo, come begin dey shout/cry, another surprise come happen again, the dog come reach where I dey bark small come turn back.

Since that day I no dey play with dog matter again ooo

as an Obatala and Orunmila archetype i hate dogs. i rather be a god than a dog

The dog was right over me at the point i tripped and fell.
To my surprise it just turned and left without delivering any bite

Dog is even better.. Ever been chased by a Turkey? That animal no get respect.

DOG..? NO
But back then, my Ex GF yaff been chased by a Turkey before...
I laughed so hard, she almost broke up with me cos of the laugh... Once in a while when we say HI, i still make fun of her.... Na that day i knw say Turkey na Cultist... Live n direct

I have this strange phobia for dogs so I try as much as I can to avoid them.

I climbed an orange tree when danger, my neighbour's new dog pursued me. How I got myself there still amazes me till this day. To come down became a problem because for the first time I realized that orange tree branches have needles. I begin to shout EGMAMI O since the yeye dog also refuse to beat a retreat but wag his tail about and bark dangerously at me

As a kid.

I will be forever grateful to Lucky and Ruby. Those dogs helped me discover my athletic talent and since that day, I've always been the type that sees every task achievable as long as you can take the fast lane