Good evening romancelanders, I trust you all are having a wonderful day.
Would make my story as brief as possible, I meet this girl sometime in 2018 and we have been dating for about two years now.
She is Esan, from Edo state and I am Igbo, we have gotten along really well ever since. I was considering making her known to my parents but feared tribal difference might be a problem. I stylishly asked my mother what she would think if i wanted to marry an Edo babe and her response was, she has nothing against them but our reasoning and theirs might not gel well. She said I should rather bring home an Igbo girl.
The truth is I have a very good relationship with my parents and don't want anything to hamper that. I am not a mummy/daddy's boy in any way, rather the opposite. My parents have utmost respect for me because of my hustling spirit right from a very young age.
How can I let the babe off easily without causing much hurt to her?
Please matured advice needed.

marshborn:
Good evening romancelanders, I trust you all are having a wonderful day.
Would make my story as brief as possible, I meet this girl sometime in 2018 and we have been dating for about two years now.
She is Esan, from Edo state and I am Igbo, we have gotten along really well ever since. I was considering making her known to my parents but feared tribal difference might be a problem. I stylishly asked my mother what she would think if i wanted to marry an Edo babe and her response was, she has nothing against them but our reasoning and theirs might not gel well. She said I should rather bring home an Igbo girl.
The truth is I have a very good relationship with my parents and don't want anything to hamper that. I am not a mummy/daddy's boy in any way, rather the opposite. My parents have utmost respect for me because of my hustling spirit right from a very young age.
How can I let the babe off easily without causing much hurt to her?
Please matured advice needed.

You haven't told us the truth why you want to let go of her ...your excuse look lame to me. So no advice.

uruba23:

You haven't told us the truth why you want to let go of her ...your excuse look lame to me. So no advice.

Which excuse looks lame? My parents are obviously not in support of the relationship.

marshborn:

Which excuse looks lame? My parents are obviously not in support of the relationship.

If I read your statement very well, your parents don't know this lady and only express reservations base on cultural differences.I just have a feeling you have lost interest in her, if you love someone you learn to discuss those challenges if she can cope. You should introduce her first, you don't know if both her and your mum would end up been best of friends.

marshborn:

Which excuse looks lame? My parents are obviously not in support of the relationship.

How old are you?
Are you educated?

According to your post, your mother just raised a slight objection based on her understanding that the reasoning of two people might not 'gel' based on tribal difference alone, but is that entirely true?

uruba23:

If I read your statement very well, your parents don't know this lady and only express reservations base on cultural differences.I just have a feeling you have lost interest in her, if you love someone you learn to discuss those challenges if she can cope.

I wanted to make the whole story as brief as possible! of course my mother asked if there was an actual person as most mother's would do, and I told her all about her.

After 2 years of nacking.

marshborn:
Good evening romancelanders, I trust you all are having a wonderful day.
Would make my story as brief as possible, I meet this girl sometime in 2018 and we have been dating for about two years now.
She is Esan, from Edo state and I am Igbo, we have gotten along really well ever since. I was considering making her known to my parents but feared tribal difference might be a problem. I stylishly asked my mother what she would think if i wanted to marry an Edo babe and her response was, she has nothing against them but our reasoning and theirs might not gel well. She said I should rather bring home an Igbo girl.
The truth is I have a very good relationship with my parents and don't want anything to hamper that. I am not a mummy/daddy's boy in any way, rather the opposite. My parents have utmost respect for me because of my hustling spirit right from a very young age.
How can I let the babe off easily without causing much hurt to her?
Please matured advice needed.

Imagine in 2020

This dumbass allow tribe cloud his brain

Imagine in 2020, you consider your parents decision in making the right partner who'd be with you forever


You need to grow up

Decimus:

How old are you?
Are you educated?

According to your post, your mother just raised a slight objection based on her understanding that the reasoning of two people might not 'gel' based on tribal difference alone, but is that entirely true?

Long story short she clearly stated she doesn't want me to go in that direction. And my papa put mouth too.
My age is totally irrelevant to you, just know I left my father's house when I was as young as 21 and have been doing well ever since.

lilmax:


Imagine in 2020

This dumbass allow tribe cloud his brain

Imagine in 2020, you consider your parents decision in making the right partner who'd be with you forever


You need to grow up

So you advice i have a strained relationship with those who raised me and cared for me? I am in a delimma here it's not that easy.

marshborn:

Which excuse looks lame? My parents are obviously not in support of the relationship.

But she said she has nothing against them...in what way is she not in support of the relationship? Besides,you only asked your Momma... Is dad's opinion less important? What Mom said was simply that their reasoning might not tally...that word speaks volumes bro....

Why not introduce her to your parents first... Or do you love her because you need a companion?
If its true love,other people's opinion don't matter.
Think it well bro...
Don't create another Edo demon with your heartbreaking logic.
My 2cents

marshborn:

I wanted to make the whole story as brief as possible! of course my mother asked if there was an actual person as most mother's would do, and I told her all about her.

I trust you have made up your mind, i respect that but i wish I could tell you how to, but I can't get myself to tell you but to be honest with you find a better excuse to tell her because I fear Edo babes o especially if you have been in a long relationship and the earlier you tell her,the better.

marshborn:

Long story short she clearly stated she doesn't want me to go in that direction. And my papa put mouth too.
My age is totally irrelevant to you, just know I left my father's house when I was as young as 21 and have been doing well ever since.

You understand your parents. But i think it's your responsibility to convince your parents that people can get along regardless of tribal difference.
It depends on the kind of person you are and how much you are willing to hold on to the girl.

I could bring a girl home from from one tribe in Zimbabwe, my Dad will just ask me how sure i am about it.

TPound:


But she said she has nothing against them...in what way is she not in support of the relationship? Besides,you only asked your Momma... Is dad's opinion less important? What Mom said was simply that their reasoning might not tally...that word speaks volumes bro....

Why not introduce her to your parents first... Or do you love her because you need a companion?
If its true love,other people's opinion don't matter.
Think it well bro...
Don't create another Edo demon with your heartbreaking logic.
My 2cents

Thanks bro

marshborn:

Thanks bro

Glad I could help

They haven't completely written her off..If you truly love her it's your duty to make your parents see beyond her tribe.

Love wins always.

OP, if the said lady is very ok and have good behavior and is delligent, obedience and intelligent, With good character and listens to you. You don't n Ed your family to chose a wife for you.


But if she's trouble and have little goodness to hold on to... and if you can manage her, go ahead, if you can't, then quit.


In all, marriage is for mature minded people, if you don't know that the first thing you need is a good woman, not a woman chose by your family members but the one you source for yourself and find the apple.


Be a man, Be the right man.

yanabasee1:
OP, if the said lady is very ok and have good behavior and is delligent, obedience and intelligent, With good character and listens to you. You don't n Ed your family to chose a wife for you.


But if she's trouble and have little goodness to hold on to... and if you can manage her, go ahead, if you can't, then quit.


In all, marriage is for mature minded people, if you don't know that the first thing you need is a good woman, not a woman chose by your family members but the one you source for yourself and find the apple.


Be a man, Be the right man.

In your whole analysis you are leaving out how the lady will feel about the whole thing. If I go ahead and marry her, would she be happy feeling like an alien around my family members who might not like her? The truth is that I can't cut off my family, they have been there for me all through the years and I love them. So I think ending the relationship might be better for her own good.
Thanks for the advice though.

marshborn:

In your whole analysis you are leaving out how the lady will feel about the whole thing. If I go ahead and marry her, would she be happy feeling like an alien around my family members who might now like her? The truth is that I can't cut off my family, they have been there for me all through the years and I love them. So I think ending the relationship might be better for her own good.
Thanks for the advice though.

I had that in mind....But I shifted it, because I thought you didn't discuss the outcome with her....



OP, always try to balance things... Never chose your father and mother over your woman. Your parent took care of you to a certain age, a woman will continue from there till you get old.


When you find a good woman. Always try to keep her, and let your family to learn to love her irrespective of her tribe or religion. A good woman is more than a gold.


There are somethings you have to keep to yourself as a man......


But since you've detailed that to her.... If I were you, I'd taken her to meet your mother and father first....

Tell your parent that you'd really love them to meet with her before you move in to the next girl.

0FUKs:
After 2 years of nacking.

It's not all about nacking guy

Just say you don't love her anymore or you are tired of the relationship,
You are just looking for an excuse in a form of advice from us, if the girl was from a wealthy family I'm sure your familiy's opinion wouldn't matter much

WonderWoman5775:
Just say you don't love her anymore or you are tired of the relationship,
You are just looking for an excuse in a form of advice from us, if the girl was from a wealthy family I'm sure your familiy's opinion wouldn't matter much

And who told you the girl is from a poor family? Why are you making baseless assumptions?
I asked for advice not banter, if you don't have any advice to give me please move on

marshborn:

And who told you the girl is from a poor family? Why are you making baseless assumptions?
I asked for advice not banter, if you don't have any advice to give me please move on

Truth is you don't need advice because you don't really love her, cause if you do you wouldn't let tribal difference come in between your union

WonderWoman5775:

Truth is you don't need advice because you don't really love her, cause if you do you wouldn't let tribal difference come in between your union

Tribal difference is already coming between the union obviously. It's not as easy as you are making it seem.

Alright then, I hope you sort yourself out, just don't break the lady's heart

follow your heart and take ur brain along..

WonderWoman5775:
Alright then, I hope you sort yourself out, just don't break the lady's heart

Sadly it might end with heart break. Can't bring her into a family where she would not feel comfortable.

marshborn:
Good evening romancelanders, I trust you all are having a wonderful day.
Would make my story as brief as possible, I meet this girl sometime in 2018 and we have been dating for about two years now.
She is Esan, from Edo state and I am Igbo, we have gotten along really well ever since. I was considering making her known to my parents but feared tribal difference might be a problem. I stylishly asked my mother what she would think if i wanted to marry an Edo babe and her response was, she has nothing against them but our reasoning and theirs might not gel well. She said I should rather bring home an Igbo girl.
The truth is I have a very good relationship with my parents and don't want anything to hamper that. I am not a mummy/daddy's boy in any way, rather the opposite. My parents have utmost respect for me because of my hustling spirit right from a very young age.
How can I let the babe off easily without causing much hurt to her?
Please matured advice needed.

The earlier you let her know that you will like her to move on with her life without waiting for you, the best for you

Learn not to keep a woman dating fir so long and end up telling her stories, it really has psychological effect on them

Now you know that your family wants you to pick from your tribe

Go back and ask them which of the Igbo states your radar should be focused on

If you agree on certain states keep to it

marshborn:

Sadly it might end with heart break. Can't bring her into a family where she would not feel comfortable.

Pele, I hope she finds something better, thank God it's has just been 2yrs