WomaninherPrime:



That's Denver. Broaching the topic at all might be counterproductive. You know men and ego. If we end up together, I don't want him thinking that I'm looking down on him...or that I settled.

It may infact not be a problem, I just thought that there might be people who have had similar situations with the guys mentioned up there... and would be able to advise from their experiences.

Yoighaman:


@OP:
This your matter na real case study, couldn’t help but smile whilst reading other people’s comments but it is a serious matter that should not be swept under the carpet; at least that is why you have spoken up, so I’d try to give my little cent briefly.

Guy 1- Dubem: Let go of the relationship, the incompatibility in your genotypes will always rear its ugly head; why go through unnecessary stress?...and like you rightly mentioned, he could wake up one day and make a big deal out of it, citing his family as an excuse.

Guy 2- Nedu: To me, this seems to be the right guy for you and I’d like you to give him a chance. You see, a man that does not have money today can have tomorrow as long as he is ambitious and not lazy, forget about the hallucinations of other ladies, saying that they cannot date/marry a poor guy, blah, blah, blah. You can make money at any time; you can also have money today and lose it tomorrow but you see, those other qualities he has, my sister, they are very hard to come by.

Guy 3- Victor: This guy is arrogant; you will have issues with him later in future should you become more successful than he is. I can see you have great academic ambitions; this man will be intimidated and might make your life miserable. The misery would quadruple if you dare make/have more money than him.

Guy 4- Denver: I don’t have an issue with him having just an HND or not being in the corporate world, he is a businessman and can ‘blow’ tomorrow but my concern with him is that he is putting you under pressure; please take a walk, never marry anyone out of pity or pressure, you will regret it.

Guy 5:- Bright: Leave bright out of the picture, he is an unserious serial cheat, more of a playboy roaming around probably looking for whom to devour, such people can be on a revenge mission for rejecting their previous advances.

These are just my opinions, please pray to God if you believe in him, I do anyway; he (God) knows your future, I don’t, he is therefore in the best position to guide you.

Wish you all the best.

Karlifate:


OK, just tell him. Communication is very important in situations like this. Use your feminine subtlety naw.


I hope the mods can push this to FP, so that you can get wider opinions.
Goodluck!

WomaninherPrime:

Thanks.

Ayemileto:


Well, if I'm to chose for you, I will ask you to go with Nedu.

Nubem: He is off already, because all those IVF planning is easier said than done.

It will look like 2+2 when planning it, but when it comes to execution, it will be like constructing a bridge from Earth to Jupiter.

Apart from this, most churches will never conduct a marriage for you guys once they find out you're not compatible. Genotype compatibility is the major reason churches ask people to go for test before marriage.

Also, your families will most likely never support you.


Victor: This one is arrogant, and people who are arrogant are usually proud, stubborn and don't listen to advise or 2nd opinion. They always believe they are always right, and won't take other people's suggestions.
This will most likely become a problem for you guys in future if you marry him. So he's cancelled already, except you plan to be a slave in your marriage.


Denver is not really serious about his life. Which serious man will be planning to get married, and his only plan for accommodation is to be living in his family house? Not even a monogamous family ooo, but a polygamous family!!!

To even say the house is currently being disputed.

Apart from that, he appears to have lackadaisical attitude towards things. What make you think this won't affect his business or your marriage later?

Also, the fact that he is pressuring you might not really mean he's into you. He might just want the cookie, and since its not available, he wants to get married to you ASAP and have it all.

But few years after marriage, everything will clear.

Will he stay with you after those years? Won't he feel he made a mistake marrying you? Won't he rant about marrying you being the biggest mistake he has ever committed?

You see, most people marry in a hurry or under pressure always end up regretting later. Don't let anyone rush you.


Bright: I really have nothing to say for this one though. But have you tried checking why he's inconsistent?

The fact that he keeps coming back all along might mean he's into you. But he's probably having some situations that's keeping him away all along.

Perhaps, he's not ready to settle down yet.


All in all, the decision still lies in your court. If I'm asked you choose for you, I will advice you to go with Nedu. Perhaps, you can even support his to start a business.

But like Yoighaman said in his conclusion, go and pray.

Who knows, Mr right might not even be among them.

frozen70:
A normal person will get confused after reading your story

No wonder you are confused too

Just follow your heart, that's if the heart is not also confuse

This is the first time am confused about what to give as advice

Prince4rm92:
Mini mini mani mo = Denver

LadySarah:
It's been a long time my head spinned. Lol.

I can't can at all. Goodluck to you on your selection journey.
I might say narrow them down to 2 or 3 and we can help out.Remove the family house one and the genotype one first.

It's not strange, it's what most of us experienced pre marriage.
I nfact after marriage a new set will come. The ones with very good spec.

J111333:
...and these four guys will be somewhere right now bragging about my girlfriend.

Dubem sef, talking about IVF when he can't afford neither TV nor fridge. If only he knows the financial responsibilities involved.

laoludavid:

God bless your wisdom
Pls can we chat privately I need your advice on a dilemma I find myself
I will send you a Dm

WomaninherPrime:


No. Dubem is my entangled two-year boyfriend. Dubem can afford a straightforward IVF. But there's a lot to plan and save for... marriage first, going abroad, IVF sessions and exigencies that may arise. That's why I feel he'd wake up one day and realise it's too much trouble.

Nedu is the one without TV or fridge.

This must be really confusing. I'm sorry.

UDUJ:
Nedu
Victor
Dubem
Denver
Bright

Only you

Where do we start from now

UDUJ:
Nedu
Victor
Dubem
Denver
Bright

Only you

Where do we start from now

J111333:
If Dubem has all the qualities you need in a husband, has the means and is willing to go that route with you, then accept his marriage proposal.

If I love a girl very much and have the means to go for IVF, genotype wahala won't stop me from going the route with her as long as I'll have a peaceful marriage but check Dubem's level of willingness first. He needs to be a man that can stand by his words at all times.

Never settle for second best when you have options available to have the best, you're gonna live with the regret your entire lifetime.




Phew! thanks goodness I'm AA

Dayoebe:
Nice story!
Change the title to a more attractive one, call Lalasticlala to help you move it to FP thereby you can get large audience

Narrow it down to three or less. Remove the one with IVF patapata, delete ''family house'', avoid the ''arrogant''. Also, Buy TV and Fridge for other guy and modify him to your taste

Then lets talk about the rest
Thank me later


Guys between Quantum Physics and this issue, which one is harder??

arthorjnr:
First thing's first, if you're sure Dubem can't handle the whole IVF thing, break up with him.

If he's adamant, you both have to sit down and plan it NOW. Evaluate the costs and options. If its feasible and you have that feeling that Dubem is the love of your life, go for it.

Personally, I feel you're putting a lot of pressure on yourself. Pick the guy with the qualities that suites you, if he's hardworking enough, the money and comfort will come. The goal is to live happily ever after and not to cry in a Lamborghini.

From your write up, you're not the type to compromise much. If this is truly whom you are and Dubem don't cut it, then nobody on that list will, for now that is.

Don't rush it hun... Life is full of surprises.

WomaninherPrime:


As I said, he shouldn't have been on that list because I took him off my prospect list a long time ago.

And mind you, I met these people at different stages... and we've merely been talking and hanging out now and again, as I believe everyone does when they are looking to get into a committed relationship.

Please, go back and finish reading, and say something.