Juliusmomoh:
Instead of looking for CHRIST, u are looking for a man..

NoApology:
Damn! Too many entanglements I even lost count of your men and their specific qualities.

I think my brain is entangled. Lemme detangle first so I can comment with a cleared head. Damn!

NoApology:
Damn! Too many entanglements I even lost count of your men and their specific qualities.

I think my brain is entangled. Lemme detangle first so I can comment with a cleared head. Damn!

WomaninherPrime:


My dear, I'm a Christian... and I pray about almost everything. But this situation just leaves me non-plussed. I want to make a choice and stand by it.

bbode1:
See.. relationship is a long journey. I hope u can read this.
I myself have been in 11 relationship as a guy before I finally met the mrs right. And even at that. I had to let go of all plenty of those qualities I have listed in a woman. I want contented with the 1 or 2 quality she had.
I believe I have a problem of choice, contentment and u are too ambitious. The real problem among the 3 I mentioned in ur ambitious. U are not ready to settle for a lesser guy.
But a lesser guy who is very okay with his income and can take care if u and his family. There is no problem marrying that guy.
U need a counsellor. To counsel u properly on marriage affairs. Off course u also need to start reading marital books.
U will find an answer to your questions here. No body can tell you what u want. Except urself. If u go with people, u still end up regretting.
If u can give urself the opportunity to study from experience of great scholars books. U will find an answer to ur questions.
I recommend spiritual books. Thanks

WomaninherPrime:


Perhaps I'm putting a lot of pressure on myself, truly. These guys all up in my business all the time, and I feel I must make a choice, and declutter, so I can focus on one person.

Lately, too, I've been overly concerned as to how eligible ladies get into their 30s and still single. I feel they, too, at some point, went through this phase that I'm at, and they chose wrongly, or didn't choose at all.

I should pray more, and see how I can work things out with awesome Nedu who's financially upcoming.

I appreciate your input! Thanks!

WomaninherPrime:
Good evening house. Kindly read patiently. I promise to be as honest as possible.

I'm a young woman in her mid-20s. I've been in three relationships so far... two were sexual, and one was purely celibate, though it didn't last beyond 6 months.

I recently got out of a 2-yr relationship with Dubem when we discovered our genotype isn't compatible. But the problem is that we're still doing a lot of back and forth. Dubem wants the relationship to continue because he's working on how we'd have our babies via IVF or chorionic villi testing to first determine the sex of the baby.

This has put me in a very confusing situation because I'm unable to move on while he's still holding on for us... and at the same time, I just keep thinking about how life would be a lot easier if I'd just marry a genotype compatible man and have children the regular way without the stress and huge financial cost of an IVF.

some how you were explaining all these and i could hear my woman talk

To fully move on from Dubem, I started seeing other people..

Nedu is a very great guy... has everything I want in a man, but he's having some financial challenges right now. He's cute, godly, very intelligent, good humour, communicates very well, respectful, sound family values, neat, and seems to me like someone who can take charge of his home. But his financial situation gives me cause for concern... he doesn't seem like he'd be comfortably ready to start a family in another 2/3 years. But that aside, his condition just dampens my enthusiasm to even visit him or start a committed relationship with him. No TV or fridge in his apartment. I feel embarrassed/sorry for him when he has to go watch TV at his friend's or neighbour's... Or I'm thinking of cooking stuff to take to him... but no fridge to store. Joykiller. Or the fact that he can't be a support system to me at the moment...

There's also Victor who comes off as a great guy but I've refused to pay him enough attention all these months because I'm still entangled with Dubem. Victor is doing quite well, and is passionate about his job, but he likes to talk about himself way too much, and seems a bit arrogant. The vibes I get off him is that he tries to be at his best behaviour when he's with me, just to impress, but maybe he's real. While I don't like like him at the moment, I feel if I gave him a chance, I'd see some other aspects of him that would make me love him.

There's Denver on the other hand. Denver is an absolute gentle man... and doing fairly well with his business. I almost said yes to him, but I felt it was coming from the place of pressure. He was putting me under a lot of pressure to say yes... he wants to get married in a minute, but I'm still not resolved on marrying him. Plus he's from a polygamous family, and his plan is for us to live in his disputed family house if/when we get married, and I feel that comes with a lot of drama. Also, he's a bit lackadaisical about his wellbeing. He doesn't seem very tidy. His car always has things strung about. I worry, too about his level of education. He has just a HND and is not in the corporate world whereas I have serious plans to get either a double masters plus lots of certifications or a Ph.D I fear there might be some sort of incompatibility years down the line. Other than these concerns, Denver is a great guy.

Then there's Bright... I've known Bright since I was in uni... he was planning a surprise engagement once, when we weren't even dating. He's the most inconsistent and confused man I've ever met. He's consistent for a aweek or two, then goes off-radar only to resurface again after a few months. But somehow he seems to believe I'm the one who's never agreed to take him seriously. But how do I take a man who's inconsistent seriously? Ideally, he shouldn't be on this list because I long cancelled him... but he called this morning and we had a very long conversation... which was short of him pleading that I calm down and take him seriously so we can move to the next level.

Now the reason I created this thread. I like having a linear focus when I'm in a relationship, but I'm unable to leave Dubem because all these other guys have one issue or the other. No, I'm not looking for a perfect guy. Dubem isn't perfect, but we've come a long way, and we love each other, and we've come to accept and understand each other as we are.
I've become impatient... I feel like I'm at the prime of my life as a woman, and I have other suitors to choose from but I'm holding on to a very precarious relationship. Dubem might as well just wake up one day and decide that our genotype incompatibility is a big deal and we should see other people... at that time, one year of my life would have gone by...these great guys would have probably moved on, too. A woman's hotcake period is fleeting. For my personal plans, I'd love to be married by next year.


Ohh. I mentioned the thing about my two sexual relationships because I made a hasty vow to God once that I wouldn't have sex with more than two men before getting married. I don't know ...God is a merciful God, yeah...But that vow still pops up in my mind now and again. So I can't go into any careless relationship, and now I can't choose.

I'm honestly confused �.

UDUJ:
Nedu
Victor
Dubem
Denver
Bright

Only you

Where do we start from now

WomaninherPrime:


I have Christ, thanks.

IYIMAN:
Op , focus on being productive while working things with God in prayer. Your desire for a good life is bringing you confusion.

Whoever you choose, avoid genotype mismatch, it comes with a lifetime of regrets.

Keep yourself busy with work and academics, maybe the right man is not even among those you mentioned.

WomaninherPrime:



In truth, I'm more inclined to Nedu and Denver.

As for Nedu, he's not a poor man per se. He's just starting off with his career and he earns slightly higher than I do. I don't know what he does with his money, but he's living like someoone with no source of livelihood. If I have to make excuses for him, then it's probably because he got into some huge financial mess last year that he's still offsetting.

As for Denver, yes, it worries me so much about his level of education. I don't want him getting intimidated tomorrow. Yes, he's doing okay today... and would even be bigger tomorrow. But I like a man I can look up to. If he's unable to measure up beyond what his bank account states, I fear we might have problems in future. It may be him feeling left behind and refusing to encourage my growth... or me feeling like he just doesn't measure up. I like him today... but what about longterm?

NoApology:
Damn! Too many entanglements I even lost count of your men and their specific qualities.

I think my brain is entangled. Lemme detangle first so I can comment with a cleared head. Damn!

Yoighaman:
@OP:
This your matter na real case study, couldn’t help but smile whilst reading other people’s comments but it is a serious matter that should not be swept under the carpet; at least that is why you have spoken up, so I’d try to give my little cent briefly.

Guy 1- Dubem: Let go of the relationship, the incompatibility in your genotypes will always rear its ugly head; why go through unnecessary stress?...and like you rightly mentioned, he could wake up one day and make a big deal out of it, citing his family as an excuse.

Guy 2- Nedu: To me, this seems to be the right guy for you and I’d like you to give him a chance. You see, a man that does not have money today can have tomorrow as long as he is ambitious and not lazy, forget about the hallucinations of other ladies, saying that they cannot date/marry a poor guy, blah, blah, blah. You can make money at any time; you can also have money today and lose it tomorrow but you see, those other qualities he has, my sister, they are very hard to come by.

Guy 3- Victor: This guy is arrogant; you will have issues with him later in future should you become more successful than he is. I can see you have great academic ambitions; this man will be intimidated and might make your life miserable. The misery would quadruple if you dare make/have more money than him.

Guy 4- Denver: I don’t have an issue with him having just an HND or not being in the corporate world, he is a businessman and can ‘blow’ tomorrow but my concern with him is that he is putting you under pressure; please take a walk, never marry anyone out of pity or pressure, you will regret it.

Guy 5:- Bright: Leave bright out of the picture, he is an unserious serial cheat, more of a playboy roaming around probably looking for whom to devour, such people can be on a revenge mission for rejecting their previous advances.

These are just my opinions, please pray to God if you believe in him, I do anyway; he (God) knows your future, I don’t, he is therefore in the best position to guide you.

Wish you all the best.

salt1:


I prefer the first guy. You're in love with him too. Your reason for thinking of Nedu is patronizing. Leave him for someone who deserves him. Firm up the ivf options with the first man.

To those who may think it's a fake story, many girls receive plenty marriage proposals between ages 18 and 28. A girl that I know counted 40 suitors.

jubrilELsudan:
TYPICAL MENTALITY OF A NIGERIAN GIRL.


ALWAYS LOOKING FOR A READY MADE MAN.

CAN NEVER INVEST IN A MAN EVEN IF THE SAID MAN MAKES THEM HAPPY AND IS EVERYTHING THEY EVER WISHED FOR IN A MAN.


SO WHAT STOPS YOU FROM BUYING NEDU A TV AND FRIDGE? OH SORRY, YOUR NIGERIAN DEMONS WON'T ALLOW YOU DO THAT.


I REPHRASE, SO WHAT STOPS YOU FROM TAKING YOUR TV AND FRIDGE TO HIS PLACE SINCE ITS YOU ALWAYS COMPLAINING AND WANTING TO WATCH THE TV AND PUT THINGS IN THE FRIDGE?







CORONA FALL INSIDE YOUR KUKUNASE.