HarunaWest:

Like some of you don't know most than 'money '...... Yeye dey smell

Awwww...it hurt right? I guess you are one of the "simp labellers".

Don't worry you'll be fine.

Y bring ur family issue to a public platform.
Most of the people advising u are kids and others are yet to marry.
U guys shud have had a crisis management plan b4 getting married.

This your wife's own is even small, there was a time I visited a cousin of mine, after she was don cooking , I went to the kitchen to carry my food only to meet her picking her nose and then adjusting her pants before sharing the eba with the same hand Kai... I lost my appetite immediately.

My Brother it is your cross, abeg carry it and don't come here to lament because we all have ours we are carrying...on a serious note, [ls talk to her when both of you are in good mood and the discussion can flow better. Women!!!!

Sisijetue:
And when you see them outside...

they look like people who don't poo

oluwaseyi0:

You are probably still a kid that is still deceiving himself

Their is no perfectly perfect person anywhere

When you marry you will know how far, you think you will marry a doll that you can easily form online alpha too

I laugh

Marriage is give and take ...alpha or simpooh mentality will give you more trouble, you will analyze everything aggressively in name of alpha finally you will become toxic for yourself, wife and children

Glad to know that you are one of the myopic boys-men out there that sees marriage as a means to an end.

Needless to bants with you.

Sicilyjoe:
Men's dey pass alots of things where women dey for marriage, my own friend dey complain say him wife dey shit for inside bedroom with custard paint, the worst part is that she won't go to toilet and flush it, she will just cover the custard paint and leave it in the room

Ayamma. Lol.

Things dey happen, abeg. I can't just imagine the stench that will fill the whole room if eventually she opens that thing. Maybe, she did not grow up using a WC.

That is so gross and disgusting since she's your wife you have to keep shouting o if need be and she must understand that what she's doing is irritating to you.God will see you through

I wish I can like this advice a 100 times

UDUJ:
In cases like this the successfully married ones should be the ones giving advice. Not bachelors like us with absolutely no experience. But sadly the reverse is the case on nairaland. Everyone wants to drop their nuggets even when they know nothing about this.

Please mature responses only from married people. Lots of marriages have experienced some stormy weathers from people taking advice from teens on this forum.

Haba.

post=92696750:



Being a Simp and getting married to a Nigerian girl is deadlier than cancer.

Seems everyone wants to use simp in their sentences online these days.

I wish I can like this advice a 100 times

WandaMaximoff:
See ehn, if you want that marriage to see the light of day, don't bring your marital issues to Nairaland. Your marriage will be over before your thread gets to page 2.

You are living with a full grown adult for the first time, you both have weird habits that will irritate each other. Trust me, I'm sure there are habits she is also tolerating from you.

Marriage is give and take. I'd suggest you talk to her when the mood is lighter, pillow talk in the bedroom is a perfect time. Tell her how her hygiene makes you feel and tell her it would make you really happy if she changes.

Speaking up just at the time you noticed another of the unhygienic habit won't help you as you will be addressing it with anger.

If you can't settle a small matter like this amongst yourselves, there are worse storms in marriage o.

manos:
Note: it's a bit long... I could have summarized but I want those contributing to get a crystal clear picture of the situation, so that they can give better and specific advice.

The major problem here is that she mixes up things to be done in the kitchen with things done only in the toilet.

I have been married to my wife for over a year now (no kids yet) and there are certain unhygienic habits she has been displaying, since we started living together. I have been seeking ways to help her improve on it, but a calm correction from me always leads to a bitter argument between us. (She claims I complain too much whenever I point it out)

For example, she always clears her throat early in the morning and spits in the kitchen sink. (despite the fact that we have 2 toilets with wash hand basins; one in the room and also a guest toilet, with a wash-hand basin which is basically 3 steps from the kitchen). Then she goes to the bathroom, gets her toothbrush and comes back to the kitchen to brush her teeth, while doing several things with toothpaste and saliva drooling from her mouth all through.

The other day, she prepared breakfast (spaghetti) for both of us with the drooling toothpaste mouth and i refused to eat from it. I didn't complain to her either, until she asked why I didn't take my portion of the spaghetti from the pot, later that evening. I mentioned to her that, as always I find it disgusting to eat spaghetti, seasoned with toothpaste drool and saliva. The response I got from her was a hiss and then she said that, next time I should inform her if I am not going to eat the food she cooked so that she would not cook for me."

I let that slide but I felt she missed the point. The next day was her birthday and I decided to prepare breakfast for her.
While I was in the kitchen cooking, she came in with the same drooling toothpaste mouth to take a kitchen Scissors in order to cut something on her pants, even though we have another scissors in the room for such purposes. In the process of trying to pick the scissors, her hands which were covered with toothpaste drool had to cross the pot which I was cooking with. I mentioned to her that I was not comfortable with that and she just hissed as usual, still picked the Scissors and left the kitchen while angrily saying that I am just a complainer. I lost it at this point and proceeded to give her a lecture in anger about basic hygiene and why I can not keep quiet over these things because we live in a shared space and how her actions have a direct effect on me. It ended in a shouting match till she kept quiet, without accepting she was wrong.

This is the pattern almost everything takes when I try to correct her. The worst part is that I would still have to be the one to apologize for shouting at her because if I don't, I might be subjected to a week long silent treatment which I dread.

There are other more unhygienic things that are done by her, which I might not be able to post here due to the fact that I am not completely anonymous and she is still my wife but I hope this information is enough for someone to understand my frustration and profer a solution.

Pls don't go and start beating the woman because people said you are a "simp" to prove that you are not a simp!

decatalyst:


You are right!


But let me tell you something, what you will not accept when rich, nah from when you are poor you go dey reject am.

Maybe it's a bit late for him now, but while they were seeing each other before marriage, he should have seen it. The woman is just a being herself and to her, you are trying to change her.

There is a perfect person for everyone. Dirty people can meets and love each other's way of life!

Tank God u admitted u r single.
U see ehn, nor be every fiance/fiancee character their partner fit know finish when dem still dey court.

*For one, they prolly never lived with each other b4 marriage, talk less of her exhibiting DT behaviour.

*Two, even if they lived together, ppl sabi hide their tru e nature just to form 'good boy/girl' to therir partner.

*Three, ppl claim d "he who finds a wife finds a good thing" part of d bible but never for once asked why Jesus himself remained single for him 33+ yrs in ds world and even codedly supported celibacy self.
When we get to DT part, we 'jump and pass': Lolz,

Matthew 19:10-12 (KJV)
His disciples say unto him, If the case of the man be so with his wife, it is not good to marry.
But he {Jesus} said unto them, All men cannot receive this saying, save they to whom it is given.
For there are some eunuchs, which were so born from their mother's womb: and there are some eunuchs, which were made eunuchs of men: and there be eunuchs, which have made themselves eunuchs for the kingdom of heaven's sake. He that is able to receive it, let him receive it.

xtratagem:
Nairalanders and Simp! simp! simp! simp! The word "simp" no dey taya you?

Don't mind them, immature thwarts. All of them calling op a simp are still in their mommas house eating free food

Chai.. thank goodness i followed my mind when tell me to eat first. I for no forgive myself if to say i loose guard read the post before eating... Wetin u go marry bros

I don't want to believe this story. Why? how can somebody with saliva in the mouth sill able to hiss?

While I was in the kitchen cooking, she came in with the same drooling toothpaste mouth to take a kitchen Scissors in order to cut something on her pants, even though we have another scissors in the room for such purposes. In the process of trying to pick the scissors, her hands which were covered with toothpaste drool had to cross the pot which I was cooking with. I mentioned to her that I was not comfortable with that and she just hissed as usual, still picked the Scissors and left the kitchen while angrily saying that I am just a complainer.

manos:
[b]Note: it's a bit long... I could have summarized but I want those contributing to get a crystal clear picture of the situation, so that they can give better and specific advice.

The major problem here is that she mixes up things to be done in the kitchen with things done only in the toilet.

I have been married to my wife for over a year now (no kids yet) and there are certain unhygienic habits she has been displaying, since we started living together. I have been seeking ways to help her improve on it, but a calm correction from me always leads to a bitter argument between us. (She claims I complain too much whenever I point it out)

For example, she always clears her throat early in the morning and spits in the kitchen sink. (despite the fact that we have 2 toilets with wash hand basins; one in the room and also a guest toilet, with a wash-hand basin which is basically 3 steps from the kitchen). Then she goes to the bathroom, gets her toothbrush and comes back to the kitchen to brush her teeth, while doing several things with toothpaste and saliva drooling from her mouth all through.

The other day, she prepared breakfast (spaghetti) for both of us with the drooling toothpaste mouth and i refused to eat from it. I didn't complain to her either, until she asked why I didn't take my portion of the spaghetti from the pot, later that evening. I mentioned to her that, as always I find it disgusting to eat spaghetti, seasoned with toothpaste drool and saliva. The response I got from her was a hiss and then she said that, next time I should inform her if I am not going to eat the food she cooked so that she would not cook for me."

I let that slide but I felt she missed the point. The next day was her birthday and I decided to prepare breakfast for her.
While I was in the kitchen cooking, she came in with the same drooling toothpaste mouth to take a kitchen Scissors in order to cut something on her pants, even though we have another scissors in the room for such purposes. In the process of trying to pick the scissors, her hands which were covered with toothpaste drool had to cross the pot which I was cooking with. I mentioned to her that I was not comfortable with that and she just hissed as usual, still picked the Scissors and left the kitchen while angrily saying that I am just a complainer. I lost it at this point and proceeded to give her a lecture in anger about basic hygiene and why I can not keep quiet over these things because we live in a shared space and how her actions have a direct effect on me. It ended in a shouting match till she kept quiet, without accepting she was wrong.

This is the pattern almost everything takes when I try to correct her. The worst part is that I would still have to be the one to apologize for shouting at her because if I don't, I might be subjected to a week long silent treatment which I dread.

There are other more unhygienic things that are done by her, which I might not be able to post here due to the fact that I am not completely anonymous and she is still my wife but I hope this information is enough for someone to understand my frustration and profer a solution.

why do good men suffer??

manos:
Note: it's a bit long... I could have summarized but I want those contributing to get a crystal clear picture of the situation, so that they can give better and specific advice.

The major problem here is that she mixes up things to be done in the kitchen with things done only in the toilet.

I have been married to my wife for over a year now (no kids yet) and there are certain unhygienic habits she has been displaying, since we started living together. I have been seeking ways to help her improve on it, but a calm correction from me always leads to a bitter argument between us. (She claims I complain too much whenever I point it out)

For example, she always clears her throat early in the morning and spits in the kitchen sink. (despite the fact that we have 2 toilets with wash hand basins; one in the room and also a guest toilet, with a wash-hand basin which is basically 3 steps from the kitchen). Then she goes to the bathroom, gets her toothbrush and comes back to the kitchen to brush her teeth, while doing several things with toothpaste and saliva drooling from her mouth all through.

The other day, she prepared breakfast (spaghetti) for both of us with the drooling toothpaste mouth and i refused to eat from it. I didn't complain to her either, until she asked why I didn't take my portion of the spaghetti from the pot, later that evening. I mentioned to her that, as always I find it disgusting to eat spaghetti, seasoned with toothpaste drool and saliva. The response I got from her was a hiss and then she said that, next time I should inform her if I am not going to eat the food she cooked so that she would not cook for me."

I let that slide but I felt she missed the point. The next day was her birthday and I decided to prepare breakfast for her.
While I was in the kitchen cooking, she came in with the same drooling toothpaste mouth to take a kitchen Scissors in order to cut something on her pants, even though we have another scissors in the room for such purposes. In the process of trying to pick the scissors, her hands which were covered with toothpaste drool had to cross the pot which I was cooking with. I mentioned to her that I was not comfortable with that and she just hissed as usual, still picked the Scissors and left the kitchen while angrily saying that I am just a complainer. I lost it at this point and proceeded to give her a lecture in anger about basic hygiene and why I can not keep quiet over these things because we live in a shared space and how her actions have a direct effect on me. It ended in a shouting match till she kept quiet, without accepting she was wrong.

This is the pattern almost everything takes when I try to correct her. The worst part is that I would still have to be the one to apologize for shouting at her because if I don't, I might be subjected to a week long silent treatment which I dread.

There are other more unhygienic things that are done by her, which I might not be able to post here due to the fact that I am not completely anonymous and she is still my wife but I hope this information is enough for someone to understand my frustration and profer a solution.

Bro all I see is dat u have yet to assert ur authority in ur young family. And I feel so sorry for you, cos more undermining of ur authority will follow.

She wouldn't listened since you will always be the one to apologize. That was were you messed up.

"She just hissed" any woman tries that with me, she will get a slap before she finish hissing, can't come disrespect me in my house.

It will difficult to change her she probably grew up with such habit, that's why before you get married, your woman should at least spend some weekends at your place so you will have a glimpse of how staying with her might look like.

Your wife is obun ayirada. Once is obun will always be obun. No matter how hard you try, she can't change cause that's who she is. Even if she try to change, she will still show the attitude cause that's who she is. Attitude they said it's like smoke, no matter how hard you prevent smoke from coming out, it will sha come out dandan ni. I remember that song that year "iyawo obun ti o fi orun le oko re nile".

dfos2k:
the unmarried reasoning. Marriage is complex divorce is simple.

unmarried? Hope you're not referring to me cos I'm not unmarried. Only thing I'm not is a simp and a wimp who a woman will trample on

This is one of the reasons why a man and a woman should date if possible stay together for some time before marriage (though not all the time). My brother I advise you to talk to her when you are having some fun together and not whenever she does one of those disgusting things you mentioned. Just talk to her in a calm tone, educate her more on hygiene, let her see reasons with you. If she is the listening one, she will stop doing them. If she doesn't stop, put it in prayers and continue advising her. If she doesn't change, talk to her mother or anybody she respects about it and let the person know that you hate it. If there is no change, my brother just carry your cross. Every relationship or marriage has its own cross. Meci.

ImaIma1:


Please stop this "simp" thing and make more intelligent contributions.

Some of you don't know anything more than "simp"

Lolz, of all d tory wey full ground, na 'simp' dey pinch u?
Contribute 4 d mata and leave 'simp' for 'Simpsons' biko.

BiggyB242:
She wouldn't listened since you will always be the one to apologize. That was were you messed up.

"She just hissed" any woman tries that with me, she will get a slap before she finish hissing, can't come disrespect me in my house.

It will difficult to change her she probably grew up with such habit, that's why before you get married, your woman should at least spend some weekends at your place so you will have a glimpse of how staying with her might look like.

Oga, I won't slap her oo, but I swear it's either I send her out, I leave the house for her and of she misbehaves further I'll bring another into that house. It upsets me seeing men act the fool for a woman.



Too many weak men nowadays it makes me cringe

You are actually a complained..

What's wrong with checking food while brushing?

Time is money..

You need to lose that your destructive sense of hygiene.

UDUJ:


Is the toilet too far for her to get to at night? Or na face me I face you? I just can't understand

She does that in the day time when the husband went to work and forget to flush it before he come back and everywhere will be smelling, is a semi selfcon, is a room /parlor and a room/ parlour use one toilet and bathroom and same with others

manos:
Note: it's a bit long... I could have summarized but I want those contributing to get a crystal clear picture of the situation, so that they can give better and specific advice.

The major problem here is that she mixes up things to be done in the kitchen with things done only in the toilet.

I have been married to my wife for over a year now (no kids yet) and there are certain unhygienic habits she has been displaying, since we started living together. I have been seeking ways to help her improve on it, but a calm correction from me always leads to a bitter argument between us. (She claims I complain too much whenever I point it out)

For example, she always clears her throat early in the morning and spits in the kitchen sink. (despite the fact that we have 2 toilets with wash hand basins; one in the room and also a guest toilet, with a wash-hand basin which is basically 3 steps from the kitchen). Then she goes to the bathroom, gets her toothbrush and comes back to the kitchen to brush her teeth, while doing several things with toothpaste and saliva drooling from her mouth all through.

The other day, she prepared breakfast (spaghetti) for both of us with the drooling toothpaste mouth and i refused to eat from it. I didn't complain to her either, until she asked why I didn't take my portion of the spaghetti from the pot, later that evening. I mentioned to her that, as always I find it disgusting to eat spaghetti, seasoned with toothpaste drool and saliva. The response I got from her was a hiss and then she said that, next time I should inform her if I am not going to eat the food she cooked so that she would not cook for me."

I let that slide but I felt she missed the point. The next day was her birthday and I decided to prepare breakfast for her.
While I was in the kitchen cooking, she came in with the same drooling toothpaste mouth to take a kitchen Scissors in order to cut something on her pants, even though we have another scissors in the room for such purposes. In the process of trying to pick the scissors, her hands which were covered with toothpaste drool had to cross the pot which I was cooking with. I mentioned to her that I was not comfortable with that and she just hissed as usual, still picked the Scissors and left the kitchen while angrily saying that I am just a complainer. I lost it at this point and proceeded to give her a lecture in anger about basic hygiene and why I can not keep quiet over these things because we live in a shared space and how her actions have a direct effect on me. It ended in a shouting match till she kept quiet, without accepting she was wrong.

This is the pattern almost everything takes when I try to correct her. The worst part is that I would still have to be the one to apologize for shouting at her because if I don't, I might be subjected to a week long silent treatment which I dread.

There are other more unhygienic things that are done by her, which I might not be able to post here due to the fact that I am not completely anonymous and she is still my wife but I hope this information is enough for someone to understand my frustration and profer a solution.

Didn't you court before marriage, should have noticed this early. OP see where the phrase " she will change has landed you too ".

manos:



I am a very calm person actually, shouting comes from frustration because the moment i try to correct her she gets angry and lashes back immediately raising her voice. So naturally i raise my voice to match her tone so that she hears me and so that i can make my point.

On the other hand, i apologize because, sometimes when i wait for the apology for too long and it is not coming, i decide that i cant continue living like that and look beyond my intention to correct so that we can have some peace and move forward, probably push give her more time to evaluate her actions, while we continue living in peace. I cant imagine living with anyone for a week in the same house and not be able to communicate with the person. I dont know how other people do that. I personally try to resolve issues quickly.

I have faced this situation over and over again ... you either toughen up or get out of that evil union. She emotionally abuses with her silence knowing how good a man you are to be unable to live in such silence for a week. How can a woman that genuinely live you wake and go to bed for 7days with malice. Am sorry to say she is either a manipulator or a very vindictive person.. you deserve better and I am towing that path very very soon. Marriage be damned !!!

Topsic70:

Lolz, of all d tory wet full ground, na 'simp' dey punch u?
Contribute 4 d mata and leave 'simp' for 'Simpsons' biko.

He got good advice from others.

There's time for everything. A time to advise and a time to contribute to the matter.

KnightsTemplar:


Don't mind them, immature thwarts. All of them calling op a simp are still in their mommas house eating free food

Don't mind then, many are not even in serious relationships, lots are definitely unmarried, lots are irresponsible. Don't just take what you see online serious if you want to remain sane.