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My Wife Won't Cook For Our Guests. Please Advise Me - Family - Nairaland

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My Wife Won't Cook For Our Guests. Please Advise Me by SirMichael1: 3:16pm On Sep 02, 2020
Hello Good afternoon Familanders. This is very long, so please bear with me.

I’ll start from the root. Well, in my church, there’s usually a committee for the married men where most times we can proffer solution to the issues or need of the church members and other times organize get together monthly within us (married men) just to foster unity. Since we're like 20, different men host the get together. Therefore, it's spaced out for 1year and 8months.

It all began last Sunday when I was chosen to oversee the next get together which comes up this Sunday after church. When we (my wife and I) got home after church, I told her about it and she immediately asked, “who would do the cooking”? I was taken aback as the question sounded strange. I replied her saying, since she did the cooking the last time, I figured she’d do it this time.

She got angry and said there’s no way she’ll be going through the stress of cooking for 18 to 25 men and that I better know what to do concerning who’s going to handle the cooking. I tried to calm her down and reminded her of how I assisted her in the kitchen by pounding the yams while she made the soup -two soups actually and that I was going to help her this time. Yam is quite expensive so we’re not pounding this time, just Semo.

She remained adamant and said there was no way she would do anything, that the work stressed her so much and she won’t partake in any cooking and that I better go find anyone to do the cooking. Thing is, I understood the fact that the work was stressful for her because she was 5 months pregnant then and it was her first time.

Yesterday at work, I kept pondering about a solution and a thought struck me. I called her from work and asked her, "how about I get one of the women at church to offer you support?". She blatantly refused and still held on to her words.

My mind hasn’t been settled since morning because I got hold of a caterer and she told me that she’ll charge a thousand naira per head, that is approximately 20k. Truth is, the get together came at a wrong time and considering the prices of drinks, the cost of the food stuff, meat, ingredients, etc. I really can’t afford a caterer right now.

I’m at a cross road now. I don’t know what to do because it’s causing a rift between us. I thought of bringing a church member to assist on that day without informing her so she wouldn’t surprise me and leave the house but I fear that if she comes, my wife might not join her in the kitchen and the woman will begin to feel a certain way (thinking of how ungrateful we are). Then again, who will purchase the food items? I’ve just been confused. I really need insights.

Note: I said I'll help her make the swallow, she just needs to make the soup.

36 Likes 3 Shares

Re: My Wife Won't Cook For Our Guests. Please Advise Me by UyaiIncomparabl(f): 3:17pm On Sep 02, 2020
Lol. Ode.

119 Likes 9 Shares

Re: My Wife Won't Cook For Our Guests. Please Advise Me by tabithababy(f): 3:21pm On Sep 02, 2020
The Kick your wife out Nairaland crew will soon be herecheesy

157 Likes 3 Shares

Re: My Wife Won't Cook For Our Guests. Please Advise Me by Walk(f): 3:23pm On Sep 02, 2020
Does she have someone she listens to? Maybe a mother or something?

19 Likes 4 Shares

Re: My Wife Won't Cook For Our Guests. Please Advise Me by SocialJustice: 3:23pm On Sep 02, 2020
Crase husband, you want your wife to be cooking for your useless religious cult members frequently because she agreed to marry you.

Carry your evil load and get out of this place.

227 Likes 18 Shares

Re: My Wife Won't Cook For Our Guests. Please Advise Me by CanadianNaija: 3:28pm On Sep 02, 2020
SirMichael1:
Hello Good afternoon Familanders. This is very long, so please bear with me.

I’ll start from the root. Well, in my church, there’s usually a committee for the married men where most times we can proffer solution to the issues or need of the church members and other times organize get together within us (married men) just to foster unity.

It all began last Sunday when I was chosen to oversee the next get together which comes up this Sunday after church. When we (my wife and I) got home after church, I told her about it and she immediately asked, “who would do the cooking”? I was taken aback as the question sounded strange. I replied her saying, since she did the cooking the last time, I figured she’d do it this time.

She got angry and said there’s no way she’ll be going through the stress of cooking for 18 to 25 men and that I better know what to do concerning who’s going to handle the cooking. I tried to calm her down and reminded her of how I assisted her in the kitchen by pounding the yams while she made the soup -two soups actually and that I was going to help her this time. Yam is quite expensive so we’re not pounding this time, just Semo.

She remained adamant and said there was no way she would do anything, that the work stressed her so much and she won’t partake in any cooking and that I better go find anyone to do the cooking. Thing is, I understood the fact that the work was stressful for her because she was 5 months pregnant then and it was her first time.

Yesterday at work, I kept pondering about a solution and a thought struck me. I called her from work and asked her, "how about I get one of the women at church to offer you support?". She blatantly refused and still held on to her words.

My mind hasn’t been settled since morning because I got hold of a caterer and she told me that she’ll charge a thousand naira per head, that is approximately 20k. Truth is, the get together came at a wrong time and considering the prices of drinks, the cost of the food stuff, meat, ingredients, etc. I really can’t afford a caterer right now.

I’m at a cross road now. I don’t know what to do because it’s causing a rift between us. I thought of bringing a church member to assist on that day without informing her so she wouldn’t surprise me and leave the house but I fear that if she comes, my wife might not join her in the kitchen and the woman will begin to feel a certain way (thinking of how ungrateful we are). Then again, who will purchase the food items? I’ve just been confused. I really need insights.

Abeg she’s right to refuse. You’re just inconsiderate.
Did you plan to invite people with her or you just invited them and informed her as the cook you have at home?

You think she doesn’t have a life because she’s married to you? You like to play host but you don’t have money.

Just go and hire a caterer and stop stressing the woman abeg!

350 Likes 28 Shares

Re: My Wife Won't Cook For Our Guests. Please Advise Me by tabithababy(f): 3:29pm On Sep 02, 2020
Walk:
Does she have someone she listens to? Maybe a mother or something?
.

I don't understand The woman should kill herself on top food preparation. The caterer option is best for now.

So he should call his mother in law to inform her of how his wife refuse to cook for 25 people abi wetin

194 Likes 13 Shares

Re: My Wife Won't Cook For Our Guests. Please Advise Me by SirMichael1: 3:29pm On Sep 02, 2020
Walk:
Does she have someone she listens to? Maybe a mother or something?

She listens to her parents. Thing is, I don't want to involve them.

The last time, I pounded the yam for over 20 guests but she recieved the compliments. I just don't want to look like a dictator forcing her. I just need her to assist me in making the soup and i even told her i'll get her an assitant from the church to help her out.

L

54 Likes 2 Shares

Re: My Wife Won't Cook For Our Guests. Please Advise Me by LadySarah: 3:29pm On Sep 02, 2020
She said she can't. Leave her nw. Because she did the first one you now readily accepted the second again.That'swhy they say don't start what you can't finish. Nigerian wives really suffer oo.



But must you cook in this economy wey keep face lyk this?
You can buy drinks with meat pie
or
pepper soup and order for agidi(Eko) that's less stressful
or
use the caterer
or
even cook it yourselves to foster the unity more.

270 Likes 14 Shares

Re: My Wife Won't Cook For Our Guests. Please Advise Me by SirMichael1: 3:30pm On Sep 02, 2020
tabithababy:
.

I don't understand The woman should kill herself on top food preparation
I told her that I would assist her. I even asked to bring her a female church member to assist but she refused.

7 Likes 2 Shares

Re: My Wife Won't Cook For Our Guests. Please Advise Me by Righteousness89(m): 3:30pm On Sep 02, 2020
All I Can Do Right now is to Pray For you!

Precious Daddy, I Pray thee, Touch the wife of My Brother to see the Need to Cooperate with Her Husband. Touch Her to Do it with Joy In Jesus Name.... Amen..

My Brother Calm down.. She will Do it...




Reading through the Comments, It's clear that People Have Lost what Marriage is all about!

Marriage is Cooperation
Marriage is Sacrifice
Marriage is Watching out for each other

It's sounds strange to me that a woman is not willing to Cooperate with her Husband and People are Supporting that!

Seriously! This Generation has lost it

537 Likes 64 Shares

Re: My Wife Won't Cook For Our Guests. Please Advise Me by SmileDance(f): 3:31pm On Sep 02, 2020
I will give an advise when you answer my questions
1. Who will serve the 18-25 men after she cooks for them?
2. Who will pack the plates after the 18-23 men have finished eating?
3. Who will wash the dishes and clean the house after the 18-25 men have left?
Are you sure some of the 18-25 men will not eventually feel entitled to having your wife cook for them later on?
4. Are you sure you are not bringing see finish into your house laidis

If na me them wan force make she cook laidis if the men no chop rat poison na small e go remain. I'm just saying my own

170 Likes 11 Shares

Re: My Wife Won't Cook For Our Guests. Please Advise Me by CanadianNaija: 3:32pm On Sep 02, 2020
tabithababy:
.

I don't understand The woman should kill herself on top food preparation. The caterer option is best for now

She’s a wife nau, what else is she made for it not to cook on a whim.
I hope she leaves the house for them that day so that her husband will have sense.

Pay Caterer he won’t, but he’s surprised that she doesn’t want to kill herself from impromptu stress.

82 Likes 5 Shares

Re: My Wife Won't Cook For Our Guests. Please Advise Me by SirMichael1: 3:32pm On Sep 02, 2020
SocialJustice:
Crase husband, you want your wife to be cooking for your useless religious cult members frequently because she agreed to marry you.

Carry your evil load and get out of this place.

The previous get togethers I went to, their wife did the cooking. It's just making of soup while I make the swallow.

22 Likes

Re: My Wife Won't Cook For Our Guests. Please Advise Me by Nobody: 3:34pm On Sep 02, 2020
U guys should be contributing money to finance ur get together.

Did ur wife send u guys any get together? Y must u be inconveniencing her?
Suggest to ur church men, u people need to be contributing to finance that get together, it's even better u organize it in a restaurant or hotel where u'd b charged collectively and contributions wud be made amongst urselves.

200 Likes 9 Shares

Re: My Wife Won't Cook For Our Guests. Please Advise Me by CanadianNaija: 3:34pm On Sep 02, 2020
SirMichael1:


The previous get togethers I went to, their wife did the cooking. It's just making of soup while I make the swallow.

As if hosting involves just cooking.

52 Likes 4 Shares

Re: My Wife Won't Cook For Our Guests. Please Advise Me by SirMichael1: 3:37pm On Sep 02, 2020
CanadianNaija:


Abeg she’s right to refuse. You’re just inconsiderate.
Did you plan to invite people with her or you just invited them and informed her as the cook you have at home?

You think she doesn’t have a life because she’s married to you? You like to play host but you don’t have money.

Just go and hire a caterer and stop stressing the woman abeg!

I don't invite people, it follows a pattern. It's a monthly stuff. It's a get together. The last time it was held in my house was over a year ago. We're mostly over 20 members. 20 people spread over monthly will be 20 months, that's a year and 8 months. That's enough time.

78 Likes 4 Shares

Re: My Wife Won't Cook For Our Guests. Please Advise Me by SirMichael1: 3:40pm On Sep 02, 2020
SmileDance:
I will give an advise when you answer my questions
1. Who will serve the 18-25 men after she cooks for them?
2. Who will pack the plates after the 18-23 men have finished eating?
3. Who will wash the dishes and clean the house after the 18-25 men have left?
Are you sure some of the 18-25 men will not eventually feel entitled to having your wife cook for them later on?
4. Are you sure you are not bringing see finish into your house laidis

If na me them wan force make she cook laidis if the men no chop rat poison na small e go remain. I'm just saying my own
It's a committee for married men. I told her I'll get her another woman from the church to assist her. If it were up to me, she won't go through that stress.

12 Likes 1 Share

Re: My Wife Won't Cook For Our Guests. Please Advise Me by CanadianNaija: 3:40pm On Sep 02, 2020
SirMichael1:


I don't invite people, it follows a pattern. It's a monthly stuff. It's a get together. The last time it was held in my house was over a year ago. We're mostly over 20 members. 20 people spread over monthly will be 20 months, that's a year and 8 months. That's enough time.

Oga, if you want to play host then pay for it.

Leave your wife alone if she doesn’t want that stress.
Hosting doesn’t just involve cooking, there’s the serving, market run, cleaning.

I don’t blame her for refusing especially since it’s not something that she wants to do or is interested in.

Don’t inconvenience her just because she is married to you, pay a caterer or explain to your people what you can provide. Maybe if this starts hurting your pocket you will rethink the need for the elaborate feeding you people carry out in the name of coming together to solve problem.

151 Likes 13 Shares

Re: My Wife Won't Cook For Our Guests. Please Advise Me by SirMichael1: 3:41pm On Sep 02, 2020
Righteousness89:
All I Can Do Right now is to Pray For you!

Precious Daddy, I Pray thee, Touch the wife of My Brother to see the Need to Cooperate with Her Husband. Touch Her to Do it with Joy In Jesus Name.... Amen..



My Brother Calm down.. She will Do it...

Amen brother. I'm just tired.

33 Likes 1 Share

Re: My Wife Won't Cook For Our Guests. Please Advise Me by SmileDance(f): 3:41pm On Sep 02, 2020
Life will be much better when people start thinking with their brains and not their religion.
Na church matter wan break person home now so o

93 Likes 5 Shares

Re: My Wife Won't Cook For Our Guests. Please Advise Me by SirMichael1: 3:43pm On Sep 02, 2020
CanadianNaija:


Oga, if you want to play host then pay for it.

Leave your wife alone if she doesn’t want that stress.
Hosting doesn’t just involve cooking, there’s the serving, market run, cleaning.

I don’t blame her for refusing especially since it’s not something that she wants to do or is interested in.

Don’t inconvenience her just because she is married to you, pay a caterer or explain to your people what you can provide. Maybe if this starts hurting your pocket you will rethink the need for the elaborate feeding you people carry out in the name of coming together to solve problem.

Please try to read elaborately. I didn't choose to host the get together. It was my turn in the church.

19 Likes

Re: My Wife Won't Cook For Our Guests. Please Advise Me by SmileDance(f): 3:43pm On Sep 02, 2020
SirMichael1:
If it were up to me, she won't go through that stress.
who were it up to o? It were up to who? It were not up to you to decide how your home is run? I were not understanding

47 Likes 4 Shares

Re: My Wife Won't Cook For Our Guests. Please Advise Me by UyaiIncomparabl(f): 3:43pm On Sep 02, 2020
If only people knew this boy is trolling. cheesy

19 Likes 1 Share

Re: My Wife Won't Cook For Our Guests. Please Advise Me by SirMichael1: 3:43pm On Sep 02, 2020
SmileDance:
Life will be much better when people start thinking with their brains and not their religion.
Na church matter wan break person home now so o

I rejected it in Jesus name! Our home will not be broken

26 Likes

Re: My Wife Won't Cook For Our Guests. Please Advise Me by SirMichael1: 3:47pm On Sep 02, 2020
SmileDance:
who were it up to o? It were up to who? It were not up to you to decide how your home is run? I were not understanding

It's a monthly get together ran every other month. Different men (about 20) host the get together. That is, the next time it will be my turn, the remaining 19 other men must have hosted it and that will be in the next 1year and 8months.

7 Likes

Re: My Wife Won't Cook For Our Guests. Please Advise Me by Righteousness89(m): 3:49pm On Sep 02, 2020
SirMichael1:


Amen brother. I'm just tired.

Just Calm down..

Maybe at Night you just Chip it in ..

4 Likes

Re: My Wife Won't Cook For Our Guests. Please Advise Me by CanadianNaija: 3:51pm On Sep 02, 2020
SirMichael1:


Please try to read elaborately. I didn't choose to host the get together. It was my turn in the church.

Are you under any compulsion to do this? Is there a gun to your head? If no, then it’s a choice you make.

Bottom line is not about your choice, it’s about you carrying your wahala to disturb another person that is on her lane.

Pay for your choice and leave your wife to have her peace. You’re looking for who will come here and condemn the woman, that will not be me.

59 Likes 6 Shares

Re: My Wife Won't Cook For Our Guests. Please Advise Me by SirMichael1: 3:54pm On Sep 02, 2020
CanadianNaija:


Are you u see any compulsion to do this? Is there a gun to your head? If no, then it’s a choice you make.

Bottom line is not about your choice, it’s about you carrying your wahala to disturb another person that is on her lane.

Pay for your choice and leave your wife to have her peace. You’re looking for who will come here and condemn the woman, that will not be me.

I don't need anyone to condemn my wife, the mother of my kids. I just need insight on how to get her to do it.

11 Likes 1 Share

Re: My Wife Won't Cook For Our Guests. Please Advise Me by Nobody: 3:55pm On Sep 02, 2020
CanadianNaija:


She’s a wife nau, what else is she made for it not to cook on a whim.
I hope she leaves the house for them that day so that her husband will have sense.

Pay Caterer he won’t, but he’s surprised that she doesn’t want to kill herself from impromptu stress.
Better shut up with your woke ideology.

Face your Canada, we will face our Nigeria.
What about the sacrifices he must have made as the husband of the family? Is he here complaining to anybody? A one time thing has become problem. The man is trying to work out solutions but you are here insinuating divorce since that's what your useless feminazi pages teach you.
I hope it's not too late before you realize the false ideology you have submitted yourself too.

170 Likes 8 Shares

Re: My Wife Won't Cook For Our Guests. Please Advise Me by mariahAngel(f): 3:56pm On Sep 02, 2020
The things that I read on nairaland... undecided

What is so hard about hosting your husband's guests?
She's just being stubborn and unreasonable.
To host, you don't even need to do everything yourself. Just get friends or relatives to help, while you divide the labour among yourselves and supervise....as long as there's enough free food to take home, they'll gladly help.

268 Likes 15 Shares

Re: My Wife Won't Cook For Our Guests. Please Advise Me by CanadianNaija: 3:58pm On Sep 02, 2020
Tadeknkeepcalm:

Better shut up with your woke ideology.

Face your Canada, we will face our Nigeria.
What about the sacrifices he must have made as the husband of the family? Is he here complaining to anybody? A one time thing has become problem. The man is trying to work out solutions but you are here insinuating divorce since that's what your useless feminazi pages teach you.
I hope it's not too late before you realize the false ideology you have submitted yourself too.


It is not my fault that you’re frustrated, and your life is not worth living.
Take the easy way out and end it, Nigeria is overpopulated you won’t be missed.

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