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Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Family / Silent Agony Of Married Men (1966 Views)
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Silent Agony Of Married Men by Herdamorlar: 12:18pm On Sep 15, 2020 |
Husbands are going through a lot in the home but the way God created us,we always try to keep it to ourselves and nobody will know what we are facing in our home,The motive of creating this is for married men to share their problems and give advice on how we can solve from our experience so far. I have been battling alone with this issue in my home and I think it is better to have likely minds that we can share our problems and find the solution among married men. let me start with what I am facing for the last 2 years now. My wife doesn't know how to cook and I have been telling her to improve on it but she believes that she knows how to cook and I am the only one that complain about her food. This weekend my mother visited us and she cooked for us and what my wife cooked through out the weekend was rubbish and I didn't say anything but my mum called me yesterday that I should do something about it, my wife didn't want to hear anything about it again and I don't want to quarrel with her because I love her and she is my backbone in all my success,please I need your advice on what to do? |
Re: Silent Agony Of Married Men by Nobody: 12:19pm On Sep 15, 2020 |
Herdamorlar: Well sorry to read about this. If her cooking is so bad, you can try to discuss the possibility of enrolling her in a catering school (weekends) so she can improve on her cooking, that's if she is willing to give it a shot. Otherwise, I advise you volunteer to cook the meals sometimes so she can know you're serious about her cooking flaws. Sometimes women make a big deal out of their cooking especially if the man never enters the kitchen, so I'm sure if you're willing to do this, it would send a strong message to her. Either ways, do everything in love, without making her feel like you're condemning her and I hope you guys will get it sorted out. ![]() 11 Likes |
Re: Silent Agony Of Married Men by Nobody: 12:20pm On Sep 15, 2020 |
Man shall not live by bread alone.Get a cook sir,or learn how to make your own meals. 2 Likes |
Re: Silent Agony Of Married Men by LadySarah: 12:21pm On Sep 15, 2020 |
If you know, you can teach her. If she raports with your mum, she can guide her now that she's still around. . If she is obstinate I don't know considering the dynamics of your environment and financial capability...Consider ppl she listens to. Still talk to her, you wooed her so you know her best.I understand how important good food is to Nigerian men. But when you dated, did you meet only at the restaurants? |
Re: Silent Agony Of Married Men by Mood11: 12:22pm On Sep 15, 2020 |
Enrol the backbone in all your success into a catering school or start doing the cooking yourself.. Let her sit with you and be giving you maggi and salt while you are at it.. 6 Likes |
Re: Silent Agony Of Married Men by Nobody: 12:25pm On Sep 15, 2020 |
LadySarah: It appears she's being adamant and already thinks she cooks well... That's why the OP seems to be confused. If she accepts her flaws, then it would be easy to teach her or get her into a catering course at least. 5 Likes |
Re: Silent Agony Of Married Men by Mood11: 12:27pm On Sep 15, 2020 |
Because your wife doesn't know how to cook you want to find out what others are facing so that you will be sure you are not alone ![]() ![]() ![]() Don't worry, you are not alone.. My own wife doesn't know how to lay our bed and it was an issue till I realised we don't even need bedsheets on our bed ![]() 16 Likes |
Re: Silent Agony Of Married Men by Nobody: 12:33pm On Sep 15, 2020 |
Let me learn. Now, can you explain what is wrong with her cooking? Is it always too salty? Too watery? Tasteless? Peppery or bland. If you can answer these questions maybe we'll be able to guide you on how to coach her and correct a few things. This shouldn't be an issue except that she's not willing to take to correction. |
Re: Silent Agony Of Married Men by Richy4(m): 12:46pm On Sep 15, 2020 |
Cooking should be the least of your problems.. What were you guys doing during courtship? U mean u did not invite her over to do a bit of cooking? If not, Didn't she explain to you during courtship that she doesn't like cooking? Did it enter into one ear and disappear from the other while u sit drinking in her beauty? Judge Richy's ruling OP..Your case is hereby dismissed ![]() 4 Likes |
Re: Silent Agony Of Married Men by Herdamorlar: 12:52pm On Sep 15, 2020 |
loneprof:Thanks so much,she doesn't want to go to any training but I will start to cook my food by myself now to know I am serious about it 1 Like |
Re: Silent Agony Of Married Men by Herdamorlar: 12:56pm On Sep 15, 2020 |
Richy4:Thanks too,but I think I don't want you to go to courtship because we all know love is blind and you think that you can cope with it but later on you realise you cannot |
Re: Silent Agony Of Married Men by VeeVeeMyLuv(m): 1:02pm On Sep 15, 2020 |
I find it hard to believe that a woman will cook for 2 years and it did not improve to your standard or u did not get accustomed to enjoy her meals. Many factors might be responsible 1. The quality of the ingredients. Does she go to the market to select the ingredients in a bad mood. 2. Unfamiliar ingredients 3. Insufficient processing of the food items/ingredients. 4. Too much or too little flavour/seasoning 5. Timing is also critical, adding the ingredients at the wrong time can affect the outcome. 6. Might be their traditional/cultural way of preparing food in her village which to her is delicious like Domino pizza. U might want to consider taking her to chef school. many homes are upping their game when it comes to preparation and presentation of food. Your home should not be left behind. |
Re: Silent Agony Of Married Men by Nobody: 1:06pm On Sep 15, 2020 |
Herdamorlar: Better... But don't make her feel like you're mad about it. You can cook for both of you and let her eat it too. When she notices you're doing it a few times, I tell you she'll change. Just be cool headed about it. Women are somehow, even our own sisters in the family... It's patience that can solve it ooo. 1 Like |
Re: Silent Agony Of Married Men by Bj5all(m): 1:11pm On Sep 15, 2020 |
As a man, you must learn how to make yourself happy and live a joyful life. My wife's younger sister asked me this morning, she said it seems all the men that married her sisters, all of them have lost their fathers, i just smile and told her, it's not just your inlaw, i can count a handful of people around me who doesn't have fathers and hardly will you see people without mothers. It's obvious life is not easy for men, the cost of living is getting high everyday and when you have to shoulder a whole lot of responsibilities couple with the insecurity in the country, you will see that there is so much for one man to handle. Lucky are those whose wife is hard working and willing to support, Lucky are those whose family is rich and everyday can fend for themselves if not, you will also have to add the load of extended family to the loads you carry. You see, most will always died early. The most unlucky of them all is a man whose wife also nag ontop this plenty wahala you carry and doesn't give him peace. This set of men will even die earlier. so i asked myself, for all the pain and struggle of men, how best can they enjoy themselves? If you choose to flex with women, you create more problems for yourself and scatter your family, if you choose beer and other drinks, you create health problems for yourself, these momentary enjoyment is like adding salt to injury. Lucky is the man whose wife makes him happy and give peace, lucky is the man whose children grow up to be responsible and make him proud in life, for these are his only benefits in life. Because you will have peace and joy and live till old age. 16 Likes 3 Shares |
Re: Silent Agony Of Married Men by Nobody: 1:13pm On Sep 15, 2020 |
VeeVeeMyLuv: She doesn't even need to go to any catering school when YouTube is there with great recipes. The problem with some ladies is, they can do their all just to get into that marriage but the moment they are in the drive and motivation s Is lost. What will it take her to search on YouTube. Last week, I felt like preparing pepper soup myself at home cos it's getting pretty expensive where I normally buy ( from a guys restaurant o) though I have the Idea but it been long since I made pepper soup. So I quickly went to YouTube and got a nice recipe. Mehnn because it was home cooked, I really took my time and I enjoyed it. Let her go on YouTube, Biko. 5 Likes |
Re: Silent Agony Of Married Men by VeeVeeMyLuv(m): 1:38pm On Sep 15, 2020 |
Brachaa:yes it can be done at home with the help of YouTube and if they pay attention to details, also not rushing the cooking. She does not need to go to chef school 1 Like 1 Share |
Re: Silent Agony Of Married Men by Biglittlelois(f): 1:52pm On Sep 15, 2020 |
Mood11: Or you can lay the bed yourself, some things shouldn't be an issue at all, Op you can as well cook right? Why not take up the cooking duty, when she sees how tasteful your meals are, she will be forced to be with you in the kitchen when cooking to get some tips from you and ask questions, except she has a know it all, I don't care attitude. 4 Likes 1 Share |
Re: Silent Agony Of Married Men by Richy4(m): 2:10pm On Sep 15, 2020 |
Herdamorlar: Yea..I understand that part.. that's why I was asking about the courtship.. When you were observing with rose spectacle..plated with love that u can't see nor hear .. after all is said and done, u can't cope. Her problem is just ego if she doesn't want to learn.. on the other hand, u accepted her when her food tastes like cardboard paper for two years.. what changed now? Please don't let your mum or outsiders come between you two.. Everyone got one issue or another. No one had a perfect family.. |
Re: Silent Agony Of Married Men by EmperorMaria: 2:26pm On Sep 15, 2020 |
Ure lucky she keeps cooking. Some wives only know hw 2 fry plantain & indomie |
Re: Silent Agony Of Married Men by Nobody: 2:29pm On Sep 15, 2020 |
Herdamorlar: Then you have to let your tastebud adapt to her food. You can't have your cake and eat it. She can't be a "backbone" and a good Cook again ![]() Maybe you'll compliment her there. Case closed |
Re: Silent Agony Of Married Men by Nobody: 2:38pm On Sep 15, 2020 |
EmperorMaria: It's not enough to just keep cooking tasteless meals. If it only one she can cook very well, better than a myriad of unpalatable meals. It's still baffles me though that a woman cannot cook. Go to food section and see what guys are pulling there. You now tell me a woman cannot cook. She prolly doesn't like to cook so she just "ngwogwolize" everything there for him. Lol .. |
Re: Silent Agony Of Married Men by mariahAngel(f): 2:42pm On Sep 15, 2020 |
Herdamorlar: Hasn't her cooking always been that way? And you found it delicious then right? why not anymore? Besides, delicious food is subjective to individuals. Maybe to her taste, her foods are perfectly delicious. You should be used to her cooking by now or learn to cook the type of meals you like. You can't have it all. 1 Like |
Re: Silent Agony Of Married Men by mariahAngel(f): 2:48pm On Sep 15, 2020 |
Bj5all: But all these does not solve the food problem na...and man gats eat belleful ![]() |
Re: Silent Agony Of Married Men by mariahAngel(f): 2:55pm On Sep 15, 2020 |
EmperorMaria: Tozo! Which one you sabi cook? You tink say na beans to fry plantain? Obo! Oh! You sef dey find woman wey go come serve you abi? Dey there dey deceive yourself! Women never cook for correct men finish, na otele like you she go come cook for....obi si ya kpogbuo'm nnoo ![]() |
Re: Silent Agony Of Married Men by jesmond3945: 2:56pm On Sep 15, 2020 |
Herdamorlar:teach her |
Re: Silent Agony Of Married Men by Bj5all(m): 3:00pm On Sep 15, 2020 |
mariahAngel: Read what the OP posted, the thread is not only for himself but for what men pass through in general. His own is just food wahala. Different married men have different problems |
Re: Silent Agony Of Married Men by Nobody: 5:28pm On Sep 15, 2020 |
If you cook for yourself will you die? 1 Like |
Re: Silent Agony Of Married Men by GboyegaD(m): 5:38pm On Sep 15, 2020 |
You can try enroll her in a culinary school to learn or join the food thread on this platform and you guys learn new recipes together. If you are a better cook, why not do the cooking most times or join her in the cooking ao that you can teach her that way? This is not too serious an issue to be bothered about and don't make a quarell out of it please. 2 Likes |
Re: Silent Agony Of Married Men by DriggityDre: 6:45pm On Sep 15, 2020 |
Elder0001:Hafa, Plead. Didn't even know you were still around. |
Re: Silent Agony Of Married Men by Nobody: 6:51pm On Sep 15, 2020 |
DriggityDre: I'm around. Just that I don't make comments on threads like before and I don't frequent here often. Na once once I dey enter nairaland and WhatsApp (actually the only social media platforms I'm on). What about you? Were you on ban? |
Re: Silent Agony Of Married Men by DriggityDre: 6:56pm On Sep 15, 2020 |
Elder0001:Yeah, I understand. Na once once I dey enter nairaland and WhatsApp (actually the only social media platforms I'm on).Nah, at alls. Similar to you. I get life na. 1 Like |
Re: Silent Agony Of Married Men by ZzZzzzzzzzzzzzz: 7:38am On Sep 16, 2020 |
Herdamorlar:this is the result of having a single wife... It's high time she gets a competition... You'd be amazed about her improvement once another woman enters |
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