Greetings Nairalanders,
I want to seek for you peoples opinions regarding my family challenges.

I'm from a broken home. My parents divorced when I was a child of two years. I'm the only child from their union. My father and mother abandoned me and remarried to other spouse each. I passed through hell growing up with relatives who insulted me with all kinds of names and I was treated like a slave to their own children.

Because of public outcry about my dehumanizing treatment, my father came to village and took me to the city. It was from fry pan to fire experience as my father's new wife was maltreating me. At a point, my father asked me to leave his house that since my arrival, he don't have peace with his wife.

I packed to the house of a relative and work in a block industry to help myself. Most times, I slept in a CAC church close to the relative house as the two-room apartment is not enough for his family. My mother never care if I was alive. She never call me nor reply to letter I sent through someone to her. I continued working in the block industry and started a part time programme. I completed the part time programme and did my NYSC and master degree. I got a job with University of Ado Ekiti with the help of a course mate, managing myself now and surprisingly my mother and father started calling me often.

Both of them have 6 children each with their respective second spouse. Mother want his son to come and live with me, I refused and my father too have been requesting for financial assistance which I also refused. I don't want to have anything to do with both of them. My father's daughter recently called me to help her with school fees, I bluntly told her to ask her mother what she did to me and caught the call. Since then, she never call.

I'm alone and have just two friends. I don't have family. All of them calling now are just looking for what to get from me, not that they care about me. My mother never call me once to ask about my welfare even when I sent my phone number to her through her relative. I wrote WAEC, completed degree course before she started calling me and it is only to request for one thing or other. I'm planning to get married without telling them and build a separate family.

Hmmm...
Strange story. I don't know what to say

Change your phone number now. But if any of them trace you and apologize you can forgive that one but for now they are yet to realize what they did to you if your story is true ooooo

Never associate with people that are not willing to add any form of benefit to your existence, this life is a solo race, regardless of who is who.

Fear not, who no Kno you before, should not know you now, it's your life and only your life, the only people that matters are those that genuinely add any form of benefit to your life.

That's what I shall do, if I'm to be in your shoe

capnies:
Change your phone number now. But if any of them trace you and apologize you can forgive that one but for now they are yet to realize what they did to you if your story is true ooooo

Tah!, no forgiveness for willingly chosing to be foolish, every other form of sin is forgivable, but not willful foolishness, it's worse than murder, let them taste from the wine they served.

Nna eh! No qualms
This is so unsophisticated

Chia, it's well

mmmmm

"Sips more dorothy's milk"

Akamariner:
Never associate with people that are not willing to add any form of benefit to your existence, this life is a solo race, regardless of who is who.

Fear not, who no Kno you before, should not know you now, it's your life and only your life, the only people that matters are those that genuinely add any form of benefit to your life.

That's what I shall do, if I'm to be in your shoe

The got to know of where I'm working. I don't know who told them. They arranged with someone I was relating with to bring them to my house. When I got Intel about it. Warned the person not to bring anyone to my house and dissociated with the person. Now they are saying I'm rich and don't want to help anyone but I don't care.

I know all this sentimental and religious nutjobs will try to emotionally manipulate you, but your parents deserve to be left where they were when you needed them.

I can't imagine not running to my child when they need my support. So you obviously know they're not coming to you because they love you but because they want to use you.

Mstick:
I know all this sentimental and religious nutjobs will try to emotionally manipulate you, but your parents deserve to be left where they were when you needed them.

I can't imagine not running to my child when they need my support. So you obviously know they're not coming to you because they love you but because they want to use you.

Thanks bro

Nna eh! No qualmsThis is so unsophisticatedChia, it's well

I must say you have done very well for yourself if your story is true. You've shown resilience, courage , determination to succeed despite all the odds against you.
Well done for that. Give yourself a pat on the back
With regards to your parents and their brood, stay far from them. You meant nothing to them in the past, and you mean nothing to them now. Your money may mean a lot to them though, so do not allow yourself to be used.
There are orphans who are living fine without any family.
Don't feel bad that you've refused their requests, afterall they never granted any of yours when you needed them in the past.
I would implore you to continue working hard and when you decide to marry, please marry someone who loves you and ready to help you grow further. Marry someone who is concerned about your welfare, who will be ready to stand by you through thick and thin. Do not let your partner pressurise you into getting close to your parents as they would be your downfall. You mean nothing to your biological parents unfortunately. Build your own family
I wish you the best.
Family are those who covered you from the rain and other elements, and those who you matter to.

SecretSpy666:

The got to know of where I'm working. I don't know who told them. They arranged with someone I was relating with to bring them to my house. When I got Intel about it. Warned the person not to bring anyone to my house and dissociated with the person. Now they are saying I'm rich and don't want to help anyone but I don't care.

People like that don't deserve any form of grace, be thankful that you don't grow with them, or else you also would have been corrupted with their mentality.

But you can still help them, albeit like you're helping strangers, atleast if a stranger come looking for help you surely will help according to your capacity, so do likewise and live your life like you're an orphan, cause in a truth you don't have no parent

Modified.
If you can't do the last advice without being emotionally stricken, it's best to ignore completely.

Akamariner:


People like that don't deserve any form of grace, be thankful that you don't grow with them, or else you also would have been corrupted with their mentality.

But you can still help them, albeit like you're helping strangers, atleast if a stranger come looking for help you surely will help according to your capacity, so do likewise and live your life like you're an orphan, cause in a truth you don't have no parent

Modified.
If you can't do the last advice without being emotionally stricken, it's best to ignore completely.

Thanks

One of the things I read here is ignorance on their part. One might be thinking he is punishing the other without recourse to jow the instrument used (you in this case) feels about it.

They have erred and deserve forgiveness. Having a relationship with them to know their person, ideology, and character flaws as a way of guiding yourself is no crime. You do not need part with your money to achieve this.

Nawao, ur case is like that of someone I know, but his mum was there all tru, she sacrificed all she had. The dad was completely absent, he didn't even know when he finished pri/sec sch.
God bless d guy and he got a job, he lost his mum shortly after.
Now d dad is really in a bad condition and not that he remarried after the separation from deir mom, he wasted his life to alcohol.
He was a serious drunkard. He has 3 kids from d woman and my friend is d first born and only male. The younger ones are married, d man will be calling dem and be reporting dem to people as if he was there for them and the children are now neglecting him.
One woman told my friend that he should look at the whole thing as a challenge in life and as a test from God.
Your parent failed themselves and God, don't be like them, God will continue to protect and bless you more.
But do only what u are capable of doing and don't go extra mile for them, cuz they don't deserve it. But inorder to get total blessing from ur God, please take care of them in any little way you can but don't abandoned them, don't commit sin out of pain.

Akamariner:
Never associate with people that are not willing to add any form of benefit to your existence, this life is a solo race, regardless of who is who.

Fear not, who no Kno you before, should not know you now, it's your life and only your life, the only people that matters are those that genuinely add any form of benefit to your life.

That's what I shall do, if I'm to be in your shoe

You're Wise Sir

SecretSpy666:
Greetings Nairalanders,
I want to seek for you peoples opinions regarding my family challenges.

I'm from a broken home. My parents divorced when I was a child of two years. I'm the only child from their union. My father and mother abandoned me and remarried to other spouse each. I passed through hell growing up with relatives who insulted me with all kinds of names and I was treated like a slave to their own children. Because of public outcry about my dehumanizing treatment, my father came to village and took me to the city. It was a from fry pan to fire experience as my father's new wife was maltreating me. At a point, my father asked me to leave his house that since my arrival, he don't have peace with his wife. I packed to the house of a relative and work in a block industry to help myself. Most times, I slept in a CAC church close to the relative house as the two-room apartment is not enough for his family. My mother never care if I was alive. She never call me nor reply to letter I sent through someone to her. I continued working in the block industry and started a part time programme. I completed the part time programme and did my NYSC and master degree. I got a job with University of Ado Ekiti with the help of a course mate, managing myself now and surprisingly my mother and father started calling me often. Both of them have 6 children each with their respective second spouse. Mother want his son to come and live with me, I refused and my father too have been requesting for financial assistance which I also refused. I don't want to have anything to do with both of them. My father's daughter recently called me to help her with school fees, I bluntly told her to ask her mother what she did to me and caught the call. Since then, she never call. I'm alone and have just two friends. I don't have family. All of them calling now are just looking for what to get from me, not that they care about me. My mother never call me once to ask about my welfare even when I sent my phone number to her through her relative. I wrote WEAC, completed degree course before she started calling me and it is only to request for one thing or other. I'm planning to get married without telling them and build a separate family.

Have they at least asked for your forgiveness?

Parents atimes could be funny and that's why I keep asking myself if we were all here for a purpose or we just came to survey the world then we depart. Things like this makes one to just go to an island or a very tall mountain and stay all alone regardless of anything. Bros just try and forgive them even though it maybe hard for you to forget but your peace of mind is important. Obrigado

I don't want to say much about this.
But I will advise you to call the young lady back and help her, if you have the capacity.

I feel for you sir. If you want to forgive your choice but if you don't no qualms.nobody should judge you. Do what will give you 9eace after all if you died those period they deserted you! who will they beg.

The Bible says "you can't reap what you didnt sow.Its payback time for them coupled with the fact that extending your olive branch to them means carrying a huge responsibility going forward.

I have someone with your kind of story. He is a very emotionally disturbed man. He forgave after the whole mess only for them to strike again from the step siblings..

Both parents are yet to acknowledge that they did wrong, dismissing the wrong they did to their child. No mea culpa but feel entitled to assistance from a son they deliberately abandoned to experience a traumatic childhood.

This is not just about forgiving or not but are you capable of accommodating their toxicity? Uninvolved parenting tends to have adverse effect on an individual up to adulthood as most tend to have difficulties forming attachments.

Your father and mother are simply irresponsible. Be that as it may: if you forgive them and let go, I am sure God will remember you for good. But you need to exercise caution when helping out.

Mindlog:
Both parents are yet to acknowledge that they did wrong, dismissing the wrong they did to their child. No mea culpa but feel entitled to assistance from a son they deliberately abandoned to experience a traumatic childhood.

This is not just about forgiving or not but are you capable of accommodating their toxicity? Uninvolved parenting tends to have adverse effect on an individual up to adulthood as most tend to have difficulties forming attachments.

The sense of entitlement is annoyingly epic! I can't deal! Oh em gee!

Those are some African parents for you. I don't think they even realize the level of damage their abandonment did, let alone they trying to seek for genuine forgiveness.
If they were any reasonable, remorse and guilt should be what they feel more than anything.

This is deep.

The final decision is entirely yours to make.

Please forgive your parents and assist if you have the means.

Remember that their blood runs in you. No one can choose his/her parents.

What you went through and the total abandonment from them was very painful.

Put the past behind you. Forgive them and free yourself the emotional trauma.

Whatever decision you take, I wish you all the best.

If you need us to talk more about these, do contact me via the private mail.

SecretSpy666:

The got to know of where I'm working. I don't know who told them. They arranged with someone I was relating with to bring them to my house. When I got Intel about it. Warned the person not to bring anyone to my house and dissociated with the person. Now they are saying I'm rich and don't want to help anyone but I don't care.

They will be quick to tell people that you don't want to help anyone, but they will not tell them how they abandoned you when you were growing up. Please cut them off from your life

Please forgive them...

You may assist them if you wish, but make sure you forgive them .

Oizee:
Nawao, ur case is like that of someone I know, but his mum was there all tru, she sacrificed all she had. The dad was completely absent, he didn't even know when he finished pri/sec sch.
God bless d guy and he got a job, he lost his mum shortly after.
Now d dad is really in a bad condition and not that he remarried after the separation from deir mom, he wasted his life to alcohol.
He was a serious drunkard. He has 3 kids from d woman and my friend is d first born and only male. The younger ones are married, d man will be calling dem and be reporting dem to people as if he was there for them and the children are now neglecting him.
One woman told my friend that he should look at the whole thing as a challenge in life and as a test from God.
Your parent failed themselves and God, don't be like them, God will continue to protect and bless you more.
But do only what u are capable of doing and don't go extra mile for them, cuz they don't deserve it. But inorder to get total blessing from ur God, please take care of them in any little way you can but don't abandoned them, don't commit sin out of pain.

He should not abandon them even when they abandoned him? What if he had died along the way? Abeg leave matter. The only sin he is commiting is the sin of unforgivenness. He can forgive but still be far from them because they are leeches with no remorse or shame.

Ishilove:

They will be quick to tell people that you don't want to help anyone, but they will not tell them how they abandoned you when you were growing up. Please cut them off from your life

That's too harsh

Froshloaded:


That's too harsh

No it isn't. Read the story again. This young man suffered and they never cared about him. Will they be coming close to him today if he ended up a riffraff? Where were they when he was working as a labourer to see himself through school? He kept trying to reach out to his mum but she ignored him all those years. His own dad asked him to leave the house. Why are they now coming close now that he turned out better than anyone expected??

Ishilove:

No it isn't. Read the story again. This young man suffered and they never cared about him. Will they be coming close to him today if he ended up a riffraff? Where were they when he was working as a labourer to see himself through school? He kept trying to reach out to his mum but she ignored him all those years. His own dad asked him to leave the house. Why are they now coming close now that he turned out better than anyone expected??

Ishilove:

No it isn't. Read the story again.

I've read it.

This young man suffered and they never cared about him. Will they be coming close to him today if he ended up a riffraff?

Hell no.

Where were they when he was working as a labourer to see himself through school? Why are they now coming close now that he turned out better than anyone expected??

This is life for you o..

I feel he should just forgive his parents and do what he can afford ..


BTW are you a christian?