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Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Family / Opinions Needed. (2464 Views)
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Opinions Needed. by yungchop: 3:45pm On Sep 21, 2020 |
Hi guys?? Guess y'all doing good. I just want to share my current problem with y'all and I'm very sure I'll find a solution from the experienced ones here. I am a Muslim and a yoruba by tribe and my girl is a Christian and Kalabari by tribe. We have agreed that nobody will force his or her religion on the other person i.e getting married won't mean one has to change his or her religion and will continue to practice. Now the problem is, like I said I won't force anything on her so doing an Islamic wedding is not an option here, as for me I can follow her to church and take vows if they won't have a problem with a Muslim coming to church to take vows. Going to church doesn't mean I will change my faith or tell lies just to mask the real situation. Is it possible to just do the traditional marriage and reception?? Is the wedding complete that way? So I know there are lots of inter religion marriages out there so how did you guys do it? I'm seriously frightened because I don't want to lose this girl. Lalasticlala Mynd44 |
Re: Opinions Needed. by Nobody: 3:55pm On Sep 21, 2020 |
Sir, You want your wife to marry without receiving her parents blessings? Have you both talk to your parents, I.e her parents and your parents? We are in Nigeria and religion has highest regards than anything. It's gonna be hard for that marriage to work, am sorry to say. My reason are, her parents or family will talk alot to her about her decision and want you to convert, but the look of things you won't. And you also, your family will advise you to convert her to first and this only is another problem. Besides they can't Wed you in church as a Muslim to say vow so don't think about that unless you are a Christian. Lastly if you both want perent prayer then, talk about it, with in both family as a dialogue. Unless you guys want to wedd without thier blessing 2 Likes |
Re: Opinions Needed. by yungchop: 4:03pm On Sep 21, 2020 |
gaius01: Thanks for responding. We've not met each other's parents for now but on my own part I am the only son and any decision I take is solely mine. My father will never ask me to convert her because I have two step bros married to Christians but they are Yorubas so it's still kind of soft for them. My Mom is late. On my own part, apart from converting to a Christian, I don't think there's any other obstacle anywhere. She is the only Daughter too so convincing her parents maybe a bit difficult. My question is Is Religion Marriage a MUST?? Like can't we just go traditional way? |
Re: Opinions Needed. by thorpido(m): 4:06pm On Sep 21, 2020 |
Do your parents(both parents) know you are both involved in a serious relationship?What are their opinions of both of you getting married? |
Re: Opinions Needed. by yungchop: 4:08pm On Sep 21, 2020 |
thorpido: Like I said, parents don't know yet. |
Re: Opinions Needed. by thorpido(m): 4:42pm On Sep 21, 2020 |
yungchop:Both parents have to know......... that's the first step! Before you can start thinking and planning for marriage,you will need the consent of your parents,they should know about the relationship. Well,if you both agree to marry,it is best you do traditional and registry wedding.You don't have to go to Church. 1 Like |
Re: Opinions Needed. by Nobody: 5:53pm On Sep 21, 2020 |
yungchop: Well from your point both families can agree. Just try taking to her family about your decision bro |
Re: Opinions Needed. by DontBullshitMe: 7:38pm On Sep 21, 2020 |
How about court marriage? ![]() 1 Like |
Re: Opinions Needed. by akaahs(m): 7:49pm On Sep 21, 2020 |
gaius01:As for part of parents consent, I don't know but for d church wedding part, I witnessed a blessed marriage of a Christian woman with her Muslim man in my church (Catholic) cheerfully grace by their relatives and parents. 1 Like |
Re: Opinions Needed. by bukatyne(f): 7:57pm On Sep 21, 2020 |
yungchop: For interfaith marriage to really work, one or both of you are not serious with your religion. That said, where/how you marry is the least of your problems. You can call her pastor to bless you guys in front of her house. How would you train your kids? Are you fine with your kids not going to the mosque with you? Is she fine with the kids not following her to Church? Would you attend to your religions seperatedly or would you visit each other's place of worship? During festivities, how would you do it? Would she host your friends during Ileya? Would you join her in the festivities of Christmas? As a Muslim noted, 'marriage in Islam is a contract; marriage in Christianity is a covenant'. How do you bridge both concepts? Do you believe in polygamy? Is she fine with it? Do you believe your wife and daughters should wear the hijab? Does she believe in it? There are expectations from men and women in Christian and Islamic marriages: what expectations would you follow? Or would you both have form your own expectations? Or would you guys go the cultural way? My brother, if you sort out the above, where to marry is not further maths. Goodluck. 9 Likes |
Re: Opinions Needed. by akaahs(m): 7:58pm On Sep 21, 2020 |
thorpido:It's depends on her, what if she wants church wedding nko |
Re: Opinions Needed. by bukatyne(f): 7:58pm On Sep 21, 2020 |
gaius01: I have attended Christian woman + Muslim man wedding in the Church. 1 Like |
Re: Opinions Needed. by thorpido(m): 8:39pm On Sep 21, 2020 |
akaahs:Well,it depends on the man's family.Weddings usually take place in the bride's church so if his family are willing to attend then it is possible. 1 Like |
Re: Opinions Needed. by Nobody: 9:12pm On Sep 21, 2020 |
akaahs: Wow I haven't oo |
Re: Opinions Needed. by angelfallz(m): 11:06pm On Sep 21, 2020 |
bukatyne: Wow. |
Re: Opinions Needed. by yungchop: 9:48am On Sep 22, 2020 |
bukatyne: Thanks for responding. There are sacrifices we make for things to work. Like I have stated already, I'm not forcing my faith in her nor the children. If the she wants the kids to go to church, it's fine. They being Muslims or Christians won't change the fact that they are my kids. She'll practice hers, I'll practice mine. Plus during festivities she can celebrate in my house and host her people and we can celebrate mine together too. What I am saying is, will the Pastor agree to join us together because I am not a Christian? |
Re: Opinions Needed. by yungchop: 9:53am On Sep 22, 2020 |
gaius01: I will bro.. Thanks 1 Like |
Re: Opinions Needed. by yungchop: 9:54am On Sep 22, 2020 |
Re: Opinions Needed. by bukatyne(f): 11:51am On Sep 22, 2020 |
yungchop: If you have solved the above, your concerns are minute. |
Re: Opinions Needed. by Mindlog: 1:05pm On Sep 22, 2020 |
akaahs: Just like Fashola who is Muslim while his wife is Catholic, he got married to her in the Catholic Church and she still practices her Catholic faith while Fashola, Islam. |
Re: Opinions Needed. by jmoore(m): 2:01pm On Sep 22, 2020 |
The kids nko? Who will they follow to Church or mosque? |
Re: Opinions Needed. by Nobody: 2:32pm On Sep 22, 2020 |
Everyone just keep s beating about the bush and repeating the questions op has already answered. Op, Church marriage may or may not work depending on her committmen in the Church. If she's a dedicated worker, the Church may not want to Wed her owing to the fact that she's marrying outside the faith. But if she's just a bench warmer/ regular member, they may wave the conditions for her and conduct the wedding. But then again it depends on the denomination she attends. Let her confide in her pastor first and hear what he has to say. If the Church doesn't agree and you want church blessings at all cost, you can contract a pastor to do the blessings in your house or at the registry. You can also do well to mention the denomination where she worships to see if theres anyone here that attends it and can give you heads up on their rules regarding this issue. |
Re: Opinions Needed. by Nobody: 3:10pm On Sep 22, 2020 |
yungchop:Do As U Which With Her, U Av My Support. |
Re: Opinions Needed. by nams77: 3:15pm On Sep 22, 2020 |
I see problem loading |
Re: Opinions Needed. by NoToPile: 3:25pm On Sep 22, 2020 |
My denomination won't wed a Muslim and Christian . I am 99.99 percent certain they won't. |
Re: Opinions Needed. by akaahs(m): 3:30pm On Sep 22, 2020 |
Mindlog:Yeah, the reason behind it, is to allow either of the partner receive communion. |
Re: Opinions Needed. by yungchop: 11:38pm On Sep 22, 2020 |
Mindlog: I never knew ![]() |
Re: Opinions Needed. by yungchop: 11:39pm On Sep 22, 2020 |
jmoore: That's another issue but let's solve the marriage first ![]() |
Re: Opinions Needed. by yungchop: 11:39pm On Sep 22, 2020 |
Brachaa: I'll ask her and get back to you ![]() Modified Winners chapel and she's a councellor. ![]() |
Re: Opinions Needed. by yungchop: 11:41pm On Sep 22, 2020 |
Re: Opinions Needed. by yungchop: 11:41pm On Sep 22, 2020 |
nams77: From where? |
Re: Opinions Needed. by yungchop: 11:42pm On Sep 22, 2020 |
NoToPile:Meaning it has never happened in your denomination? |
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