| Re: Left Us. After Eight Years, He's Back And Had Nothing by StoneColdxx(m): 10:16pm On Sep 28, 2020 |
This is dicey. If he’s coming back without a reasonable plan on how to fend for you and your child, it’d be in your best interest not to get married to him. Plus 8yrs is quite much and during that time, what was he up to? The emotional attachment with his kid is awesome but are you certain it’s going to be permanent? Are you a backup plan for him?? If he eventually gets this money, would he still stay with you or run off again  These are some questions you should try to answer on your own first before committing once more. 1 Like |
| Re: Left Us. After Eight Years, He's Back And Had Nothing by RedPanthar: 10:16pm On Sep 28, 2020 |
Divanona:
Eight years ago, with tears in my eye, I held his hand, begged him to stay with me that we will struggle together and succeed, but he refused. He walked away living me pregnant. Now, he's back without anything.
We were friends from the University, I graduated before him because I was studying a 4years course. The very first time, we tried to take our relationship serious was after my graduation. We had s.e.-x for the very first time and I became pregnant.
The truth is, the guy have always been good to me throughout my stays in school.
I remembered that day he sacrificed his school fees for mine so I could be able to do my final clearance. But when I became pregnant, he walked away after convincing me to keep our baby.
I went through everything all by myself.
Since last year, he has been apologizing on phone, so last week, I asked him to come. He traveled down to my place. Without being afraid of anyone harming him from my family, he believed in me and came. He's around in my family house, staying in my brother's room for the past 3days.
He has opened up everything to me, my family members and have apologized.
now, I'm so confused with my life.
He couldn't graduate, he had problem in school after I left and all this years, he has been struggling, but now he wants to take responsibility and be with us, but he had nothing. No certificate, except diploma which he later did from another school, no job, no place of his own to stay. He had nothing. He wants us to get married and have a family.
I feel I'm about to add more burden to my already stressed life.
The only positive thing here now, is the excitement my son is having seeing his father and the relationship they're building.
A part of me wants to see this guy have a great life and have direction and not see him live like this, even if I don't settle down with him. because when I meant him, he was kind, a good person, he had dreams, vision and good plans.
But living us alone all this years, with all his explanations, I'm not contented.
Another part of me is confused, afraid and I feel ishould push him away and let him go back to his life and keep moving with my son because I don't have the strength to shoulder all these.
Please matured mind in the house, what do you have to say? This is my life and it's getting more confused.
What would you advise? What should I do?
I don't want to make more mistakes.
Sorry for my lengthy write-up
Keep the door open. Help him a roof. But let him balance his life first before asking for marriage. Would he be your baby in the event of a marriage. Cause I don't understand how he will fulfill his objectives and responsibilities if you both got married under his present conditions |
| Re: Left Us. After Eight Years, He's Back And Had Nothing by adisabarber(m): 10:16pm On Sep 28, 2020 |
Divanona:
Eight years ago, with tears in my eye, I held his hand, begged him to stay with me that we will struggle together and succeed, but he refused. He walked away living me pregnant. Now, he's back without anything.
We were friends from the University, I graduated before him because I was studying a 4years course. The very first time, we tried to take our relationship serious was after my graduation. We had s.e.-x for the very first time and I became pregnant.
The truth is, the guy have always been good to me throughout my stays in school.
I remembered that day he sacrificed his school fees for mine so I could be able to do my final clearance. But when I became pregnant, he walked away after convincing me to keep our baby.
I went through everything all by myself.
Since last year, he has been apologizing on phone, so last week, I asked him to come. He traveled down to my place. Without being afraid of anyone harming him from my family, he believed in me and came. He's around in my family house, staying in my brother's room for the past 3days.
He has opened up everything to me, my family members and have apologized.
now, I'm so confused with my life.
He couldn't graduate, he had problem in school after I left and all this years, he has been struggling, but now he wants to take responsibility and be with us, but he had nothing. No certificate, except diploma which he later did from another school, no job, no place of his own to stay. He had nothing. He wants us to get married and have a family.
I feel I'm about to add more burden to my already stressed life.
The only positive thing here now, is the excitement my son is having seeing his father and the relationship they're building.
A part of me wants to see this guy have a great life and have direction and not see him live like this, even if I don't settle down with him. because when I meant him, he was kind, a good person, he had dreams, vision and good plans.
But living us alone all this years, with all his explanations, I'm not contented.
Another part of me is confused, afraid and I feel ishould push him away and let him go back to his life and keep moving with my son because I don't have the strength to shoulder all these.
Please matured mind in the house, what do you have to say? This is my life and it's getting more confused.
What would you advise? What should I do?
I don't want to make more mistakes.
Sorry for my lengthy write-up
Let him go and get a job. Let him see money and see how he behaves before trusting him. Hunger makes some people humble but once they eat wahala will start 6 Likes |
| Re: Left Us. After Eight Years, He's Back And Had Nothing by Nobody: 10:17pm On Sep 28, 2020 |
This is hard. You talked about him being nice and kind in the past. These are qualities in a man I wouldn't take for granted. He also sacrificed his school fees to make a way for you, this can only be love. Support him financially if you have the means. One good turn deserves another, remember. I know It's hard not to think of the years of abandonment but try not to dwell on it, if not, you'll give life to all the pains you've tried to suppress these years. Focus on the positives, forgive but thread carefully. Wish you light and love. 6 Likes |
| Re: Left Us. After Eight Years, He's Back And Had Nothing by Hotzone(m): 10:17pm On Sep 28, 2020 |
Pick the part of u that said “fvk off coward” because no one leaves a friend in the dark and return after eight scorching years without a thing to show for it, he is a fucking loser!!! 7 Likes |
| Re: Left Us. After Eight Years, He's Back And Had Nothing by doctimi(m): 10:17pm On Sep 28, 2020 |
Do not accept him. A man who has nothing cannot take care of you or your child. You may regret it. Wisdom is profitable to direct.
Do not let your sense of judgement be clouded by emotions. You cannot help him just as he can't help but be a burden to you at this time. 4 Likes |
| Re: Left Us. After Eight Years, He's Back And Had Nothing by Chanchit: 10:18pm On Sep 28, 2020 |
Zzor:
Obviously you still want him,have him all you want if you care less about money and comfort and ready to add more burden to your already stressed life as you rightly put it ,what has he been doing since all these years he abandoned you thats what you should be most concerned about.You are not his mother,let him go and find solace abi wetin sef with his family,thats why I hate all this school love,i can't count stories of heartbreaks that I've heard and seen.If you are strong enough to carry him along,do so but if you know you don't have the capability,please tell him to go stay with his family first.hmmm I have been looking for stories like this to read here since,it is well madam op Op, whatever you do. Don't take the advice of this poster into consideration. Because she's always present in topics like this and she's a feminist. As for your husband, follow your heart. |
| Re: Left Us. After Eight Years, He's Back And Had Nothing by TrickyTeeBBN5: 10:18pm On Sep 28, 2020 |
Follow your heart |
| Re: Left Us. After Eight Years, He's Back And Had Nothing by Adelove2020: 10:18pm On Sep 28, 2020 |
All I see is red flag...Please be careful and don't be too trusting. Someone that left you for 8 years, if you were a church rat....Will he return to you.
PLEASE OPEN YOUR EYES, DONT THINK WITH YOUR HEART AT ALL. JUST BE ALERT !
DONT PROMISE HIM ANYTHING... BE VERY VERY CAREFUL
8 YEARS IS A FREAKING LONG TIME ABEG ! 3 Likes |
| Re: Left Us. After Eight Years, He's Back And Had Nothing by SweetCunt97(f): 10:18pm On Sep 28, 2020 |
Divanona:
Eight years ago, with tears in my eye, I held his hand, begged him to stay with me that we will struggle together and succeed, but he refused. He walked away living me pregnant. Now, he's back without anything.
We were friends from the University, I graduated before him because I was studying a 4years course. The very first time, we tried to take our relationship serious was after my graduation. We had s.e.-x for the very first time and I became pregnant.
The truth is, the guy have always been good to me throughout my stays in school.
I remembered that day he sacrificed his school fees for mine so I could be able to do my final clearance. But when I became pregnant, he walked away after convincing me to keep our baby.
I went through everything all by myself.
Since last year, he has been apologizing on phone, so last week, I asked him to come. He traveled down to my place. Without being afraid of anyone harming him from my family, he believed in me and came. He's around in my family house, staying in my brother's room for the past 3days.
He has opened up everything to me, my family members and have apologized.
now, I'm so confused with my life.
He couldn't graduate, he had problem in school after I left and all this years, he has been struggling, but now he wants to take responsibility and be with us, but he had nothing. No certificate, except diploma which he later did from another school, no job, no place of his own to stay. He had nothing. He wants us to get married and have a family.
I feel I'm about to add more burden to my already stressed life.
The only positive thing here now, is the excitement my son is having seeing his father and the relationship they're building.
A part of me wants to see this guy have a great life and have direction and not see him live like this, even if I don't settle down with him. because when I meant him, he was kind, a good person, he had dreams, vision and good plans.
But living us alone all this years, with all his explanations, I'm not contented.
Another part of me is confused, afraid and I feel ishould push him away and let him go back to his life and keep moving with my son because I don't have the strength to shoulder all these.
Please matured mind in the house, what do you have to say? This is my life and it's getting more confused.
What would you advise? What should I do?
I don't want to make more mistakes.
Sorry for my lengthy write-up
Lolzzzz, the parasite is back looking for where to hide his head. You no tell am marriage kill him there? Tell him to go become somebody and come back. If u make d mistake of letting the human back into your life, you'll regret it. D animal is simply suffering what karma dished out to him. Imagine! After 8 years, na only him prick him bring come... Mtcheeeeeeeeeeeew 5 Likes |
| Re: Left Us. After Eight Years, He's Back And Had Nothing by Nobody: 10:19pm On Sep 28, 2020 |
Bola146:
Hummmm I'm speechless! Kindly follow your instincts If it were you , what would you do? 1 Like |
| Re: Left Us. After Eight Years, He's Back And Had Nothing by cooltola(m): 10:19pm On Sep 28, 2020 |
You can love from a distance. You do not have to accept him back. Beside he needs to man up and contribute for his son. Apology with no money to help raise his son is pure nonsense. A serious man will do whatever to contribute for his son's well being. If he can pay his son school's fee then we are getting somewhere. 1 Like |
| Re: Left Us. After Eight Years, He's Back And Had Nothing by oluku86: 10:20pm On Sep 28, 2020 |
Are you sure he has not come to steal your child. 1 Like |
| Re: Left Us. After Eight Years, He's Back And Had Nothing by ComrDaprince(m): 10:20pm On Sep 28, 2020 |
abouzaid:
If this story is real, don't hesitate to accept him back, not only do you have a child for him but he's the devil that you know. He sounds like a solid guy too. That he walked out on you then might be because he has too much on his mind then. I did just that after graduating with extra year, family financial problem and many other things going on then.I just dropped everything and everybody and focused on myself then. It wasn't a bad decision. I guess many Nigerian young men are prone to such early life crisis. And it might be that the man is now made. And might first want to know if someone else has taken his place. How will someone who have come back after eight years with nothing be talking about wedding... |
| Re: Left Us. After Eight Years, He's Back And Had Nothing by SweetCunt97(f): 10:20pm On Sep 28, 2020 |
Chanchit:
Op, whatever you do. Don't take the advice of this poster into consideration. Because she's always present in topics like this and she's a feminist.
As for your husband, follow your heart. Which husband? What qualifies him as a husband? He simply donated his sperm pls. If a nigga can't be there for you when it's rough, when you need him the most, then that nigga does not deserve nothing when things are cool. 3 Likes |
| Re: Left Us. After Eight Years, He's Back And Had Nothing by Funkyswagzz(m): 10:21pm On Sep 28, 2020 |
Divanona:
Eight years ago, with tears in my eye, I held his hand, begged him to stay with me that we will struggle together and succeed, but he refused. He walked away living me pregnant. Now, he's back without anything.
We were friends from the University, I graduated before him because I was studying a 4years course. The very first time, we tried to take our relationship serious was after my graduation. We had s.e.-x for the very first time and I became pregnant.
The truth is, the guy have always been good to me throughout my stays in school.
I remembered that day he sacrificed his school fees for mine so I could be able to do my final clearance. But when I became pregnant, he walked away after convincing me to keep our baby.
I went through everything all by myself.
Since last year, he has been apologizing on phone, so last week, I asked him to come. He traveled down to my place. Without being afraid of anyone harming him from my family, he believed in me and came. He's around in my family house, staying in my brother's room for the past 3days.
He has opened up everything to me, my family members and have apologized.
now, I'm so confused with my life.
He couldn't graduate, he had problem in school after I left and all this years, he has been struggling, but now he wants to take responsibility and be with us, but he had nothing. No certificate, except diploma which he later did from another school, no job, no place of his own to stay. He had nothing. He wants us to get married and have a family.
I feel I'm about to add more burden to my already stressed life.
The only positive thing here now, is the excitement my son is having seeing his father and the relationship they're building.
A part of me wants to see this guy have a great life and have direction and not see him live like this, even if I don't settle down with him. because when I meant him, he was kind, a good person, he had dreams, vision and good plans.
But living us alone all this years, with all his explanations, I'm not contented.
Another part of me is confused, afraid and I feel ishould push him away and let him go back to his life and keep moving with my son because I don't have the strength to shoulder all these.
Please matured mind in the house, what do you have to say? This is my life and it's getting more confused.
What would you advise? What should I do?
I don't want to make more mistakes.
Sorry for my lengthy write-up
It's always difficult to manage a partner that don't contribute anything. I believe it's best for u to keep ur distance buh don't deprive him of seeing his child. It's a very important decision u have to make here. And u have to make it quick |
| Re: Left Us. After Eight Years, He's Back And Had Nothing by vickydevoka(m): 10:21pm On Sep 28, 2020 |
Zzor:
see comments from men,women have really suffered in this life,lets picture the whole thing the other way round, you can imagine the kind of comments you will read from these same men. What kind of comment were u expecting. Na money be man. Man way no get money for African is worthless 2 Likes |
| Re: Left Us. After Eight Years, He's Back And Had Nothing by OdefaGirl(f): 10:21pm On Sep 28, 2020 |
What's your current love life like? Do you have someone now....or you are as free as a bird?
If there's someone now, who is up to what you need from a man...then, let this man go but forgive him and speak well into his life. The things you might have said when you were hurt could be the reason he is where he is. .... but if not, take him back with open arms and plan his future with him....I bet you, in the next five to six years, your story gonna be different, as long as your family won't be a problem and so far that you still feel a thing for him.
As for the real love, it will come back as long as that guy is real. 1 Like |
| Re: Left Us. After Eight Years, He's Back And Had Nothing by linearity: 10:21pm On Sep 28, 2020 |
The question is?
Does he still have plans, direction and visions as you indicated?
Life happens to everyone, but the most important thing is not to lost sight of your visions, plans and direction; these are the only guide you have in the huzzle and buzzle of today’s world.
Sit him down and seek to know, if he still that individual you knew and fall in love with, if he is and still have the plans, direction and visions, then take him in, but make you he can articulate what those plans, directions and visions are and he should also tell you why they have not worked for the past eight years....he might really have a good and logical explanation and you could be the one to fix the mixing linkage.
However, if he has changed from the person you use to know and only remember you to use as a springboard and his life start spinning downward, you must forget the jolly good old days and kick him out.
Be careful, no matter what you do or whichever direction or decision you want to take now, please put marriage off the table. He should not even be bringing marriage into this discussion....you guys have to seat down first and see if your plans, directions and visions are still as compatible as before and make concrete step is working towards those plans, directions and visions before even considering marriage. |
| Re: Left Us. After Eight Years, He's Back And Had Nothing by MajohBankz: 10:22pm On Sep 28, 2020 |
When I read ‘HE WENT AWAY FOR EIGHT YEARS, NOW HE'S BACK BUT EMPTY' I thought it was all those Nollywood movie where the nigga would travel abroad to hustle. But it seems this particular guy was some where around the country. Babe, ask him about the past 8 years first of all. Unless he was held up in the middle east like Al-qaeda held Nick Brody in HOMELAND, nothing for him 3 Likes |
| Re: Left Us. After Eight Years, He's Back And Had Nothing by Nobody: 10:22pm On Sep 28, 2020 |
Chanchit:
Op, whatever you do. Don't take the advice of this poster into consideration. Because she's always present in topics like this and she's a feminist.
As for your husband, follow your heart. where is the feminism in my comment,stop the hate already 4 Likes |
| Re: Left Us. After Eight Years, He's Back And Had Nothing by Pauladex(m): 10:22pm On Sep 28, 2020 |
The prodigal son came home because hunger is not good for the body. The father accepted him back because his brother at home is not better either. No man love his wife and run away for eight years, having done that, i belief the guy only use you and went away to use others. He came back because condition humbled him. finally, why will you still be single after eight years? Just like the father of prodigal son, you can accept him back because you couldn't move on after eight years. 3 Likes |
| Re: Left Us. After Eight Years, He's Back And Had Nothing by Wapchrist1(m): 10:22pm On Sep 28, 2020 |
Ishilove:
He should better go for deliverance from the spirit of stagnancy, failure at the edge of breakthrough and non achievement, and leave marriage talk first. Don't add to your burden. Dem no born you born suffer Let think about the past |
| Re: Left Us. After Eight Years, He's Back And Had Nothing by Ibime(m): 10:23pm On Sep 28, 2020 |
mariahAngel:
Eight whole years!
Why did it take him that long?
He could have been struggling in life. Some men's pride won't let them come back with nothing in their hand. 1 Like |
| Re: Left Us. After Eight Years, He's Back And Had Nothing by accounts2boku: 10:23pm On Sep 28, 2020 |
Ishilove:
He should better go for deliverance from the spirit of stagnancy, failure at the edge of breakthrough and non achievement, and leave marriage talk first. Don't add to your burden. Dem no born you born suffer do you know it's because of this same girl that made him not to graduate as he sacrificed his school fees for op's final year clearance? I guess it's time the op also sacrifice her comfort and accept the poor guy |
| Re: Left Us. After Eight Years, He's Back And Had Nothing by dotedote: 10:23pm On Sep 28, 2020 |
Zzor:
see comments from men,women have really suffered in this life,lets picture the whole thing the other way round, you can imagine the kind of comments you will read from these same men. U're everywhere on the thread.
Are you the Op.
BadBelle |
| Re: Left Us. After Eight Years, He's Back And Had Nothing by SweetCunt97(f): 10:23pm On Sep 28, 2020 |
ComrDaprince:
And it might be that the man is now made. And might first want to know if someone else has taken his place. How will someone who have come back after eight years with nothing be talking about wedding...
Baba that his made or money should catch fire. D fool probably wants her family to bankroll everything. 1 Like |
| Re: Left Us. After Eight Years, He's Back And Had Nothing by dnawah(m): 10:23pm On Sep 28, 2020 |
Divanona:
Eight years ago, with tears in my eye, I held his hand, begged him to stay with me that we will struggle together and succeed, but he refused. He walked away living me pregnant. Now, he's back without anything.
We were friends from the University, I graduated before him because I was studying a 4years course. The very first time, we tried to take our relationship serious was after my graduation. We had s.e.-x for the very first time and I became pregnant.
The truth is, the guy have always been good to me throughout my stays in school.
I remembered that day he sacrificed his school fees for mine so I could be able to do my final clearance. But when I became pregnant, he walked away after convincing me to keep our baby.
I went through everything all by myself.
Since last year, he has been apologizing on phone, so last week, I asked him to come. He traveled down to my place. Without being afraid of anyone harming him from my family, he believed in me and came. He's around in my family house, staying in my brother's room for the past 3days.
He has opened up everything to me, my family members and have apologized.
now, I'm so confused with my life.
He couldn't graduate, he had problem in school after I left and all this years, he has been struggling, but now he wants to take responsibility and be with us, but he had nothing. No certificate, except diploma which he later did from another school, no job, no place of his own to stay. He had nothing. He wants us to get married and have a family.
I feel I'm about to add more burden to my already stressed life.
The only positive thing here now, is the excitement my son is having seeing his father and the relationship they're building.
A part of me wants to see this guy have a great life and have direction and not see him live like this, even if I don't settle down with him. because when I meant him, he was kind, a good person, he had dreams, vision and good plans.
But living us alone all this years, with all his explanations, I'm not contented.
Another part of me is confused, afraid and I feel ishould push him away and let him go back to his life and keep moving with my son because I don't have the strength to shoulder all these.
Please matured mind in the house, what do you have to say? This is my life and it's getting more confused.
What would you advise? What should I do?
I don't want to make more mistakes.
Sorry for my lengthy write-up
how does he looks,hungry or well fed?that could be a test to see if u really and still love him.my dear no fear e be like say money dey o! |
| Re: Left Us. After Eight Years, He's Back And Had Nothing by dotedote: 10:24pm On Sep 28, 2020 |
Zzor:
abi ooo,thats the big question plus what has he been doing during those eight years Zzor
U're everywhere on the thread.
Are you the Op.
BadBelle |
| Re: Left Us. After Eight Years, He's Back And Had Nothing by dotedote: 10:25pm On Sep 28, 2020 |
Zzor:
Biased comment Zzor
U're everywhere on the thread.
Are you the Op.
BadBelle |
| Re: Left Us. After Eight Years, He's Back And Had Nothing by SweetCunt97(f): 10:25pm On Sep 28, 2020 |
dotedote:
U're everywhere on the thread.
Are you the Op.
BadBelle Bad belle as in? Pls let's stop this bias. The guy is suffering what karma dished out to him. |
| Re: Left Us. After Eight Years, He's Back And Had Nothing by SweetCunt97(f): 10:27pm On Sep 28, 2020 |
Diariess:
This is hard. You talked about him being nice and kind in the past. These are qualities in a man I wouldn't take for granted. He also sacrificed his school fees to make a way for you, this can only be love. One good turn deserves another. Support him financially if you have the means. I know It's hard not to think of the years of abandonment but try not to dwell on it. Focus on the positives, forgive but thread carefully. Wish you light and love. D kindness and sacrifice burnt when he abandoned her o. Taking care of a baby alone ain't cheap. There's no positive cos the guy came back broke. 2 Likes |
