Apparently, you remained unmarried all these years ? Were you hoping he might come back ? If so, you obviously love him.
But what were his explanations, where has he been, what has he been doing ?
He walked away whilst you had no misunderstanding. What made him do it ?
Was it that he didn't love you enough to warrant marriage, but came back having been rejected by providence ? Has he had a stint with another woman that didn't work out ?
You need to probe him seriously on all these and maybe quietly nose around in the places he had lived to get some truths about his past. Eight years ain't not a small period.
Don't just take him back on the face value - once beaten twice shy.
May God take control and direct you right.

merieam16:
@ Op, first of all he never loved u forget all these sacrifice of school fees he did during school.Some people do some certain things to get favour in return. Secondly, he remembered u because he needs solace nd he knows u will accept him

My advice is dont start what u cant finish and if u feel u can finish it, just av @ d back of ur mind dat he will leave wen he' back 2 his feet

Just help him d way u can nd be careful baby number 2 might be loading...

.my thought exactly. he is gonna leave you again when things level up.

Be wise.Open your eyes.ASK YOURSELF: DID HE COME BACK BECAUSE LIFE WAS NOT ROSY FOR HIM? .IF LIFE HAS BEEN GOOD TO HIM, WILL HE COME BACK? WHY DID HE LEAVE IN THE FIRST PLACE? CAN YOU SHOULDER HIS RESPOSIBILITIES HIM HAVING NO JOB?. HE CHOSE TO LEAVE EVEN THOUGH YOU BEGGED HIM, HE STILL LEFT. WEIGH ALL THESE THINGS, PRAY ABOUT IT AND MAKE A DECISION. HE CAN HAVE A GOOD RELATIONSHIP WITH HIS SON WITHOUT ADDING MORE STRESS TO YOUR LIFE.

Divanona:
Eight years ago, with tears in my eye, I held his hand, begged him to stay with me that we will struggle together and succeed, but he refused. He walked away living me pregnant. Now, he's back without anything.

We were friends from the University, I graduated before him because I was studying a 4years course. The very first time, we tried to take our relationship serious was after my graduation. We had s.e.-x for the very first time and I became pregnant.
The truth is, the guy have always been good to me throughout my stays in school.
I remembered that day he sacrificed his school fees for mine so I could be able to do my final clearance. But when I became pregnant, he walked away after convincing me to keep our baby.
I went through everything all by myself.
Since last year, he has been apologizing on phone, so last week, I asked him to come. He traveled down to my place. Without being afraid of anyone harming him from my family, he believed in me and came. He's around in my family house, staying in my brother's room for the past 3days.
He has opened up everything to me, my family members and have apologized.

now, I'm so confused with my life.

He couldn't graduate, he had problem in school after I left and all this years, he has been struggling, but now he wants to take responsibility and be with us, but he had nothing. No certificate, except diploma which he later did from another school, no job, no place of his own to stay. He had nothing. He wants us to get married and have a family.


I feel I'm about to add more burden to my already stressed life.
The only positive thing here now, is the excitement my son is having seeing his father and the relationship they're building.

A part of me wants to see this guy have a great life and have direction and not see him live like this, even if I don't settle down with him. because when I meant him, he was kind, a good person, he had dreams, vision and good plans.
But living us alone all this years, with all his explanations, I'm not contented.

Another part of me is confused, afraid and I feel ishould push him away and let him go back to his life and keep moving with my son because I don't have the strength to shoulder all these.

Please matured mind in the house, what do you have to say? This is my life and it's getting more confused.
What would you advise? What should I do?
I don't want to make more mistakes.

Sorry for my lengthy write-up

Madam, don't marry him until he is ready. Don't make the same mistake twice.

Not every relationship must end in marriage.
We know your heart still yarns for him
But 8yrs is too much of a long time to abandon your own child no matter how messed up your life is.

Pls forgive him.
Let him havE access to his blood.
But pls, dont think marriage with him.
Help him anyhow you want to. But don't start that nonsense building with him. Let him build and if you are still available when he is ready to handle a family burden as a man, ok and fine. Find yourself new relationships. You deserve to be spoilt . No go kill yourself. You are not the reason he didn't make it yet.

Any man that leaves you at your most vulnerable point (pregnancy is the worst) will still leave you again. Be careful

pocohantas:


Lol. They always know all the healthy options for the returnee horseband.



I wonder when they will learn to make HEALTHY compromises. Imagine bringing in an absentee father to start living in her parents house. Lol! Such a virtuous woman!! Alfa males delight

I swear. It's sad that a lot of women are like this fashi these ones you see that go after money, if you hold their mumu button, o set. Women should be taught to be strong, not doormats that some stupid son of a gun could step on and move on.

Liposure:
i fear person wey no fear u

I be kind person oh, but I don't joke with myself, if you give me too much headache and I make a resolve to fck you up, I don't give a shit who you are to me I'll fck you up.

merieam16:
@ Op, first of all he never loved u forget all these sacrifice of school fees he did during school.Some people do some certain things to get favour in return. Secondly, he remembered u because he needs solace nd he knows u will accept him

My advice is dont start what u cant finish and if u feel u can finish it, just av @ d back of ur mind dat he will leave wen he' back 2 his feet

Just help him d way u can nd be careful baby number 2 might be loading...

u are shallow so someone will sacrifice his school fees for a girl to gain favour? Which kind nonsense favour is that?

@Divanona

my suggestion is not to do it. you will have two children to rear. helping with school fees doesn't equate to 8 years of abandonment and coming back bum status. let him ride out this portion this lifetime's 600 years back where he spent the last eight.

Divanona:
Someone asked why I was not married all this while.

I've been trying to figure out my life and be a good mom to my son and not give any prospective husband unnecessary responsibility to carry.


It was all my fault I didn't allowed any relationship work out with me.

The school fees he gave me i stated wasn't the reason for him not graduating. It wasn't my fault that he couldn't graduate, because he sorted it out that semester and wrote his departmental exams as well. It was after I've left

Your son is 8 now
Pls focus on other relationships and make it work. This one you are hoping for can only work if he had sorted himself out first before coming to you.

I even wonder what the lady’s parents have to say about him living in their house.
It’s a bit weird

pocohantas:
Stay there and be doing mumu love. Men always looking for fixers like you.

After moving upandan like evil spirits in their youth, when they are old and broke- they will now come back to that virtuous woman. Same thing you see in marriages. Womanize in youth, come back to their wives with Nigerian used penis and damaged internal organs. Your work will now be to cook vegetable soup without pepper and spices. You will also learn to turn wheat and pound unripe plantain for him.

Ndi virtuous women. I don’t blame him, na you I blame. 8 fcking years... Pfftttt!!

You said the guy was a good guy.... that was eight years ago. I will agree he was and had good intentions. Usually... guys would have a school relationship for convenience sake .... sex being the main reason. Not to have sex.... and .... giving up his school fees is a huge sacrifice... the reasons I believe his intentions were good. Then having you keep the pregnancy but running out on you.... I can see that..... trying to escape the extra pressure of life... but with the hope that he will soon catch himself and return as a man to shoulder his responsibility. But cutting communication is unexplainable.... how can he begin to explain telling you to keep the baby.... which is a good thing.... and never trying to even find out how you were coping with the pregnancy.... the birth of the baby... if he has a son or daughter.... for seven years?

The guy is not the same guy. What exactly was he doing for seven years? Why is he now holed up with your family? Do you know if you're harbouring a fugitive?... or is he hiding out due to cult activities?

Send him back to where he was but allow him to visit his child as often as possible see how that works out.

When you release a bird or it leaves you and come back ...know its yours to keep. Give him the second chance he craves, do not try to change him if he appears different from who you knew earlier on, be good to him, nuture and guide him to success ...if he leaves again, let it be between him and his God. You would've done your best for him for the sake of your son.

Divanona:
Eight years ago, with tears in my eye, I held his hand, begged him to stay with me that we will struggle together and succeed, but he refused. He walked away living me pregnant. Now, he's back without anything.

We were friends from the University, I graduated before him because I was studying a 4years course. The very first time, we tried to take our relationship serious was after my graduation. We had s.e.-x for the very first time and I became pregnant.
The truth is, the guy have always been good to me throughout my stays in school.
I remembered that day he sacrificed his school fees for mine so I could be able to do my final clearance. But when I became pregnant, he walked away after convincing me to keep our baby.
I went through everything all by myself.
Since last year, he has been apologizing on phone, so last week, I asked him to come. He traveled down to my place. Without being afraid of anyone harming him from my family, he believed in me and came. He's around in my family house, staying in my brother's room for the past 3days.
He has opened up everything to me, my family members and have apologized.

now, I'm so confused with my life.

He couldn't graduate, he had problem in school after I left and all this years, he has been struggling, but now he wants to take responsibility and be with us, but he had nothing. No certificate, except diploma which he later did from another school, no job, no place of his own to stay. He had nothing. He wants us to get married and have a family.


I feel I'm about to add more burden to my already stressed life.
The only positive thing here now, is the excitement my son is having seeing his father and the relationship they're building.

A part of me wants to see this guy have a great life and have direction and not see him live like this, even if I don't settle down with him. because when I meant him, he was kind, a good person, he had dreams, vision and good plans.
But living us alone all this years, with all his explanations, I'm not contented.

Another part of me is confused, afraid and I feel ishould push him away and let him go back to his life and keep moving with my son because I don't have the strength to shoulder all these.

Please matured mind in the house, what do you have to say? This is my life and it's getting more confused.
What would you advise? What should I do?
I don't want to make more mistakes.

Sorry for my lengthy write-up

@SecretSpy666 i saw u lurking in the thread earlier. the theme (school & relationship drama) and writing style matches up with your NL creativity. step up and take a bow mr. man.

Divanona:

My dad is late. He would have been in the best position to help me decide this

You need specific answers...
No mortal man can give you a straight answer...
Turn to God...
He speaks...
Dats the kind of divine guidance...
U need in these evil days....
pls keep the guy on hold till you have a
clear cut divine guidance...
It has saved me a thousand times...

How can u even allow him stay in ur family house... As an inlaw or what.... He should go back to his family first before any other thing

Divanona:
Eight years ago, with tears in my eye, I held his hand, begged him to stay with me that we will struggle together and succeed, but he refused. He walked away living me pregnant. Now, he's back without anything.

We were friends from the University, I graduated before him because I was studying a 4years course. The very first time, we tried to take our relationship serious was after my graduation. We had s.e.-x for the very first time and I became pregnant.
The truth is, the guy have always been good to me throughout my stays in school.
I remembered that day he sacrificed his school fees for mine so I could be able to do my final clearance. But when I became pregnant, he walked away after convincing me to keep our baby.
I went through everything all by myself.
Since last year, he has been apologizing on phone, so last week, I asked him to come. He traveled down to my place. Without being afraid of anyone harming him from my family, he believed in me and came. He's around in my family house, staying in my brother's room for the past 3days.
He has opened up everything to me, my family members and have apologized.

now, I'm so confused with my life.

He couldn't graduate, he had problem in school after I left and all this years, he has been struggling, but now he wants to take responsibility and be with us, but he had nothing. No certificate, except diploma which he later did from another school, no job, no place of his own to stay. He had nothing. He wants us to get married and have a family.


I feel I'm about to add more burden to my already stressed life.
The only positive thing here now, is the excitement my son is having seeing his father and the relationship they're building.

A part of me wants to see this guy have a great life and have direction and not see him live like this, even if I don't settle down with him. because when I meant him, he was kind, a good person, he had dreams, vision and good plans.
But living us alone all this years, with all his explanations, I'm not contented.

Another part of me is confused, afraid and I feel ishould push him away and let him go back to his life and keep moving with my son because I don't have the strength to shoulder all these.

Please matured mind in the house, what do you have to say? This is my life and it's getting more confused.
What would you advise? What should I do?
I don't want to make more mistakes.

Sorry for my lengthy write-up

He is an additional burden and wants to leech off you because he knows your mumu button. It's a scam men play.

He can have a relationship with your son, but you are under no obligation to be in a relationship with him or have him stay at your house.

pocohantas:
Stay there and be doing mumu love. Men always looking for fixers like you.

After moving upandan like evil spirits in their youth, when they are old and broke- they will now come back to that virtuous woman. Same thing you see in marriages. Womanize in youth, come back to their wives with Nigerian used penis and damaged internal organs. Your work will now be to cook vegetable soup without pepper and spices. You will also learn to turn wheat and pound unripe plantain for him.

Ndi virtuous women. I don’t blame him, na you I blame. 8 fcking years... Pfftttt!!

She doesn't know that she is signing up to be a caretaker for free. These men will womanize in their youth and pretend to change like prodigal sons so that they don't die miserable and alone in old age the way they know they deserve to. They're plenty in the hospitals

Dear OP, having a degree or diploma does not guarantee success in any form, there are many graduates still roaming the streets without jobs, pray about it and accept him back in your life even if you guys will not eventually tie the knot every child deserves a father's care. Good luck.

Let's call a spade a spade, he impregnated you and jived. 8yrs late he resurfaces and apologized for what he did and told you stories pleasant to your ears. Wow beautiful
Don't make any mistake based on emotions here, put emotions one side and critically think about it.

Prayer can change things, pray and ask God for a sign to understand God's purpose for your life. PLEASE STEADFAST

Divanona:
I mean that's the only good memories of him. Not that I'm indebted to that. I do more for him as well.

then he has been a burden from day one. He has only done one great thing that you can remember?



This is simple maths, and the equation is not balanced in your favor. He wants a roof to stay and a vagina to Bleep until he finds something better and trust me, he will abandon you and your son when he does. Past behavior is the best predictor of future behavior.

He's is not a positive in your life. Don't become sufferhead because of your mother complex to a grown man.

Richy4:
<<< He doesn't have any certificate except a diploma.. Hmmm!!! I'm hearing it for the first time that diploma is not a certificate is this supposed to be a criteria to accept him.. check

<<<< Unemployed... is this suppose to be a criteria to accept or reject the Null hypothesis considering the fact that it's not a permanent thing check

<<<< He left u when u needed him the most.. is this a good and valid criteria to reject him.. check

<<<< Do u still have feelings for him after treating you poorly? Do u see a future with both of u together? Do u think he has changed and ready to make amendment/ settle down without taking off again? Check

<<< you are the only one that will answer these questions.. don't let anyone do it for you.

Kudos...

Zzor:
see comments from men,women have really suffered in this life,lets picture the whole thing the other way round, you can imagine the kind of comments you will read from these same men.

Don't mind them, na kidney some of them take dey reason.

Love is an emotional feeling that only you know how you feel inside you, just like when you wear a shoe, only you know where it pinches you. What I’m saying is that only you can talk to yourself because only you feels what you feel for the guy and what you want in life for yourself and your son. I wish you all the best.



Dominique I am so sorry. Please forgive me and come back home. Vickyrotex, ajepako, fatymore,seunmohmoh, funjosh, funkybabee and bola146 please help me to beg dominique

Watch the unfolding situations closely and do not rush to conclude any decision.
Let him go back to his people's place for a while and let time do the rest.
God's speed it shall be well.

Divanona:
Eight years ago, with tears in my eye, I held his hand, begged him to stay with me that we will struggle together and succeed, but he refused. He walked away living me pregnant. Now, he's back without anything.

We were friends from the University, I graduated before him because I was studying a 4years course. The very first time, we tried to take our relationship serious was after my graduation. We had s.e.-x for the very first time and I became pregnant.
The truth is, the guy have always been good to me throughout my stays in school.
I remembered that day he sacrificed his school fees for mine so I could be able to do my final clearance. But when I became pregnant, he walked away after convincing me to keep our baby.
I went through everything all by myself.
Since last year, he has been apologizing on phone, so last week, I asked him to come. He traveled down to my place. Without being afraid of anyone harming him from my family, he believed in me and came. He's around in my family house, staying in my brother's room for the past 3days.
He has opened up everything to me, my family members and have apologized.

now, I'm so confused with my life.

He couldn't graduate, he had problem in school after I left and all this years, he has been struggling, but now he wants to take responsibility and be with us, but he had nothing. No certificate, except diploma which he later did from another school, no job, no place of his own to stay. He had nothing. He wants us to get married and have a family.


I feel I'm about to add more burden to my already stressed life.
The only positive thing here now, is the excitement my son is having seeing his father and the relationship they're building.

A part of me wants to see this guy have a great life and have direction and not see him live like this, even if I don't settle down with him. because when I meant him, he was kind, a good person, he had dreams, vision and good plans.
But living us alone all this years, with all his explanations, I'm not contented.

Another part of me is confused, afraid and I feel ishould push him away and let him go back to his life and keep moving with my son because I don't have the strength to shoulder all these.

Please matured mind in the house, what do you have to say? This is my life and it's getting more confused.
What would you advise? What should I do?
I don't want to make more mistakes.

Sorry for my lengthy write-up

You are just a meal ticket to him.Please send that loser back to his mother or the next one will be a set of twins before he leaves you for another 10 years.
Are you that desperate to take on an unemployed school drop out who abandoned you. Please use your head.
What type of family do you come from? For all you know you guys could be harboring a fugitive that committed one heinous crime somewhere.

Divanona:
Eight years ago, with tears in my eye, I held his hand, begged him to stay with me that we will struggle together and succeed, but he refused. He walked away living me pregnant. Now, he's back without anything.

We were friends from the University, I graduated before him because I was studying a 4years course. The very first time, we tried to take our relationship serious was after my graduation. We had s.e.-x for the very first time and I became pregnant.
The truth is, the guy have always been good to me throughout my stays in school.
I remembered that day he sacrificed his school fees for mine so I could be able to do my final clearance. But when I became pregnant, he walked away after convincing me to keep our baby.
I went through everything all by myself.
Since last year, he has been apologizing on phone, so last week, I asked him to come. He traveled down to my place. Without being afraid of anyone harming him from my family, he believed in me and came. He's around in my family house, staying in my brother's room for the past 3days.
He has opened up everything to me, my family members and have apologized.

now, I'm so confused with my life.

He couldn't graduate, he had problem in school after I left and all this years, he has been struggling, but now he wants to take responsibility and be with us, but he had nothing. No certificate, except diploma which he later did from another school, no job, no place of his own to stay. He had nothing. He wants us to get married and have a family.


I feel I'm about to add more burden to my already stressed life.
The only positive thing here now, is the excitement my son is having seeing his father and the relationship they're building.

A part of me wants to see this guy have a great life and have direction and not see him live like this, even if I don't settle down with him. because when I meant him, he was kind, a good person, he had dreams, vision and good plans.
But living us alone all this years, with all his explanations, I'm not contented.

Another part of me is confused, afraid and I feel ishould push him away and let him go back to his life and keep moving with my son because I don't have the strength to shoulder all these.

Please matured mind in the house, what do you have to say? This is my life and it's getting more confused.
What would you advise? What should I do?
I don't want to make more mistakes.

Sorry for my lengthy write-up

He's back to you because he has no where else to go, you are accepting him because you have no man in your life. A young man that donates his father's hard earned school fees to a woman has already lost focus, no wonder he could not graduate, his problems started a long time ago, you cannot solve it.

Investigate him, if he has not put another woman belle and run.
Okey, let him leave your family house first, look at your parents in the eye, see their reactions and advice then take the next descision. Good luck. Life is full of trouble

If its nollywood then stick with him, he’s probably a millionaire pretending

Don’t allow him back. Someone left you for 8 good years, and you’re thinking of accepting him into your life? Don’t let love distort your reasoning. He is not worth it.

Once in a while, you may arrange for him to meet your baby, but that should be it. He is a betrayer! 8 years? It’s not justifiable!

He's going to be forever grateful to you.... Help him find his feet, I guess he has learnt his lesson for abandoning you and his child. Forgive wholeheartedly, prayer changes a situation. He might be down now but no one knows tomorrow. It's not going be easy considering the current situation, but I believe things will workout well at the end.