Like most catholic church there was one close to our house which is always open any day of the week.

As a child I used to spend a lot of time inside the church just playing around especially with the drums and keyboard.

One day I mistakenly picked a wire from the floor and recieved the greatest shock of my life. It was so intensed I had to run from the alter.

Inside of me to just go home, I said I must set trap for other people. So I put on my slippers and climb the alter again. I carefully connected the wire to the metal ring holding the local drum in place.

After connecting it, I touched the drum skin, nothing happened. I touched the wood nothing happened. I even touched the iron and nothing happened. So I thought the thing didn't work and resume my play again.

I can't remember what happened again maybe I was running around like I used to and then came back on the alter without my slippers. I went to touch the drum iron and this time I wasn't even prepared for the next hit on me. Mehn electricity is bad.

Na so I remove the wire run comot from church o.

There was a time, me and my siblings were traveling to onitsha from Yola, we boarded those long luxurious bus, so when we got to Nsukka in enugu state around 5pm, our driver stopped so that people can go and ease themselves, i was pressed so i ran into the bush to shit, all of a sudden 2 fair matured ladies came and pulled down their trousers, they were shitting too, the didn't notice i was behind them, as their shit begin dey smell me na him i intentionally cough they noticed that somebody was behind them they wanted to run to a more hidden corner but unfortunately they were purging so they no fit move...i just dressed up and went back to where the bus was parked, throughout the journey i was just laughing, people kept wondering, they were like" what's wrong with this one" . I was 12 years old that time sha.

ghettokid1:
my most memorable was conceding 25goals as a goalkeeper in a competive match...I still never believe its real....not as a kid though

Are you being serious right now

Edusouls:
Kai ur lineage is damm corrupt and evil, tufiakwa

Ask questions bro.. , the said elder bro is not my blood brother but a close family friend.

Zzor:
come and help him sue me

Kaiii.. thanks again . I be glad to come on u ooooo ..Anyways

chatinent:
Mine: We were notorious for terrorizing the neighborhood pressing door bells and running away. Me and a friend. It's kinda our job after school.

One day I met my Waterloo by pressing a dysfunctional one having its wires stuck out. It electrocuted me to my marrows and threw me to the other side of the road.

I no gree. I wait for Kunle make e return. As e land, I carry am go that same faulty bell. He was always my accomplice so he ought to share in the electrocution.

Short Kunle hands couldn't reach the bell. I volunteered to carry him on my shoulders. As he pressed the bell... in fact, wetin do me..my mouth no fit talk wetin do me that day.


Share yours. Keep the fun going young..

just kill me let me die

Gathering sands and urinating inside to build skyscrapers and bungalows

TheCork:


Kaiii.. thanks again . I be glad to come on u ooooo ..Anyways

you need help,no jokes,serious help

Drizzy5001:
As a kid back then, i used to admire and look at my father each time he drives me to school, and one particular Saturday he decided to use his second car, because there was no fuel in d one usually drives, so as a good boy that I'm, i opened his fuel tank and poured 1 litre of Eva water into the fuel tank, na so fire begin comot for bonnet, i didn't know what to do.. So i just ran inside and told my uncle, everybody started pouring sand and water till the fire quenched... And thank God it was only the bonnet that burn and i was not caught too.

This cracked me up

Ahh e no get any bush wey i no enter... Me and my best friend Manasseh we just like scouring through bushes for fun and also in hunt of squirrels birds and grasshoppers..

One aunty that time would normally call me into her room that time when her parents are out and she'll gimme 5naira to put my thing in her thing felt weird then but i couldn't just reject 5naira

We also acted alot of daddy and mommy

remember back in junior secondary school I saw a disc on the floor like 4 of them I picked them up and got home to play it only for me to discover it was porn made by a company owned or linked to snoop Dogg. hustler something can't remember d name then one mid night I decided to play it in our vcd in d sitting room naso nepa take light naso I go look for tester begin loose vcd with tester remove d disc. lol those days

chrisxxx:
My mum gave me soup to send to someone just the normal complimentary virtues. I opened the soup and picked the largest prawn in the soup on my way going to the person's house. The prawn was the pride of the soup.
My brothers and sisters in the crime, when I got there the lady was not at home. And there was nobody at home to receive the tampered soup from me.
I am still at the person's place since 1989 waiting for her to come back. I cant take this modified soup back. Lol.

modified soup. I no fit laff

Zzor:
you need help,no jokes,serious help

Hangon. Is it ilegal for u to be nice?
I juss wannnto love u.. is that a crime??.
Dont u realise am from London? (Shake my head again)

Danny50:
I was an ajebor so i cant relate to any of those experiences above... During my childhood just needed some toys to play with and bicycle to drive to school.

Abeg,you fit dey specific with the type of ajebo wey you bi? because if you be real real ajebo,your parents no go gree make you dey ride bicycle for busy road go school for safety reasons,na car wey for dey carry you go school.Or make I just take am say because you bi no dey trek go school and you get some scary looking local made toys nai make you feel say you be ajebo.

Zzor:
As a very young little girl,i was always going to the visitors room downstairs as early as 6am to peep through the window so I can get a clearer view of one uncle always bathing outside behind their building very early before going to work,i will be laughing uncontrollably inside the room until one day my mom secretly followed me to know why going to that room very early in the morning has become a routine for me and that was how I was busted.Unknown to me, the uncle had earlier reported me to my mom that whenever I see him anywhere,i always laugh at him and he has been wondering if there's anything awkward about him to warrant such,it was then my mom got the picture of everything and I was properly schooled and made to realize that it was a bad thing.

Na since small u dn dey fantasize abt ur current hustle. Choi see as ur dream came true. Bloody pervert.
A wise woman once said "females are greater perverts dan d males"

Benrichkid:
I had a lot of crazy experiences as a child but I will share one of them that I can remember well.

First, I was like seven or eight years old then. I used to enjoy eating fried plantain then and even up to now. We had a lot of plantain and banana trees in the compound. It was one of my uncle staying with us that always fries it for me as per last born because my mum and dad were separated. There came this day when my uncle was not around and I wanted some fried plantain treats. My mumu brain just spoke to me that I could do it. I summed up courage and went to the kitchen to prepare it but instead of using a fry pan, I used a plastic bowl. The plastic bowl started burning seconds after I placed it on fire and all the oil went into the stove and further escalated the fire. Nobody had to tell me that I was in deep trouble. My mumu self still wanted to remove the remaining plastic from the fire and as I did that, the molten plastic dropped on my hands and legs causing some serious burns. I can never forget that day, not because of the burns but of the cane I received from my dad when he came back from work.

�


confirm mumu brain��

fergie001:
Hmmmm.....Did something with Tosin during school hours under staircase.....Central Primary School.

Continued the episode with Aguna at home, in the bathroom....I was barely 8 @ the time. Aguna is now married with big big children.

Had a love for stealing biros.....at a point I had 17, my mum opened my bag one day and was like how did you come up with these biros?
Your biro should not just be full....its gone.
I have different methods.

Sometimes, I will hit the chair and move it. Sometimes I distract the teacher, and move it. No matter the colour am in, I continue am till I enter University sha

Kleptomaniac.

donbachi:
The greatest lizard hunter and lizard surgeon.

Jeezuz christ. U nd my padi na d same tin. Naso that one go carry lizard wit im bare hands.

insyd grasshopper nd lizard. I still dnt knw which feels creepier holding dem

Drsnives:
An elder bro placed a bet of 50kobo for me to lick his anus.. I was young n innocent then, very young I really don't know how my mum found out.
I saw hell that day and the guy was warned seriously

Ewwwwwww

purples25:
My aunt that wasn't much older than me convinced me to run away with her, and we did. Packed clothes and left the house.

We went far, found an uncompleted building where one worker was so nice to us and even bought us food. It was like an adventure, but we were scared stiff.

When evening came, we realized that our story book adventures were not like real life and started going home. My aunt said i knew stories and i could make up one to save us and if i could open my eyes for long i would start crying and i did.

When we got home the whole neighborhood came out. Everyone was looking for us. They even called the police. I told a big crowd a story that shocked them. Gosh, i was so scared, i did the biggest fraud of my life, invented on the spot.

I was crying profusely and told the crowd we were abducted by some guys at the back of our house. They led us away quietly and later blindfolded us. We were taken to a place that i can't remember cuz of the blindfold. When caged i managed to get one of their guns and point it to them and with the threat we escaped. I found a bush and threw the gun there.

This story was taken high and low, we were taken to the police to file a report. I was taken to the inspector, other high levels of police. I repeated my story without one glitch. My aunt was even like, i didn't give her a hero role in the whole story. I was believed so much, that i was allowed to take a search party into the bush to look for the gun i threw away. The inspector even showed me a gun to weigh. I don't think i was more than eleven or twelve.

People started calling me gun girl. I was ashamed cuz i was sure few knew i had lied. I felt guilt in myself.

It was one day in grandmas car, she asked me, and i told her the truth. This was years after.

She just looked at me and said "You can kill someone o."

am rolling on the floor oooo

chatinent:


Sounds so innocent. I believe you.

Lmao. I can feel a very aura of sarcasm oozing 4rm ur post.

she didnt get d screaming part tho. Zzor should i type out what he actually meant or we should 4get it.

Lmao especially that guy that mentioned tan ta lolzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

Truthspoon1:
Long ago when I was about 6,There's this game children used to play called "war start" children had wooden swords, catapult and a rubber band weapon that they can shoot bullets made of folded papers and iron wires. Children from the next town numbering at least would come to the area I lived to fight. More than 20 children from each side would fight. I was an ajebo so I only peeped through the window. It was usually fun for me until my parents send me outside to wash plates, Omo when I see those warriors coming towards me I would run inside and the elders in the house would chase me out to go and watch plates. In my mind I would ask while crying , can't these people see there's a war going on? What if I died?
Sometimes they would send me to buy something from a specific shop, deep in enemy territory. Chai.
well when the invaders capture me I always trick them to release me. I'll tell them am their spy and support them. That I can be giving them information. then they'll release me, children.

I also played war start, there was this funny day i made a bullet proof out of paper to prevent the paper bullet from hurting when when it touches some one, so i tested it on a friend never figuring out that the folded paper i used was very thick compared to the so called bullet proof, nor be small cry end am

Drsnives:
An elder bro placed a bet of 50kobo for me to lick his anus.. I was young n innocent then, very young I really don't know how my mum found out.
I saw hell that day and the guy was warned seriously

So u literally gave someone a rim job.. Pukes

leoloi:
mine was when I was really really young. my maternal grand dad visited . he brought me a battery powered toy car with a remote control that made the car move just two ways(back and forth). after some hours of playing with my new toy, I became disenchanted with it and I purposely started ramming it against a wall. my mom looked over at me from where she was discussing with my grand dad . and she said in Igbo, mebikwa ya o i nugo? (make sure you spoil it o have you heard?). I just replied excitedly "ok" and went on to sit with my full weight on the car until it fell apart.� apparently I had no sense of sarcasm . my mom just de look me in astonishment, maybe she go de reason "what manner of idiot did I give birth to?". my grand dad was just laughing.

ezigbo idiot ki bu. How could you not know she was being sarcastic?

So, if she asks you to bring something for her and you ask where to put it, and she says "put it on my head" you will put it on her head?

chloride6:


That is clearly excessive.

True!!!!

juniorstar:
remember back in junior secondary school I saw a disc on the floor like 4 of them I picked them up and got home to play it only for me to discover it was porn made by a company owned or linked to snoop Dogg. hustler something can't remember d name then one mid night I decided to play it in our vcd in d sitting room naso nepa take light naso I go look for tester begin loose vcd with tester remove d disc. lol those days

I can fully relate;Snoop Dogg Doggystyle,that is the name.
I do porn promotion,supplying,exchanging,stealing sotey discipline master for my sec.school collect my porn disc wey I hide inside Agatha Moses Achanchawa disc pack.
Male Senior students for sec school no dey beat me because na me bi their supplier.
I even get neighbor wey na me dey supply am porn disc whenever him wan nyash eim baybay.
But with all those glory wey I get,I wonder how my parent no catch me even once because at times na them dey remove the disc from vcd player give me thinking na worldly music wey we dey hear.
Na during my porn dealing days nai I discover say porn disc dey people house pass nollywood films,na just pretend people dey pretend say them dey frown at am.One day I no waka go any shop to buy porn but you no go need porn disc whether for school or house wey I no go supply you and wetin still dey tire me na how I take overtake the people wey introduce me to porn sotey them bi come dey beg me for porn disc(latest ones for that matter).But that was those years.

HantaVirus:
So many crazy memories... Was it when my Aunt's friend asked me to finger her wet pussy? I was 11 or so then and boy I was super cute... Or was it when I didn't wanna follow my parents to the UK for holidays when I was 6 years old? I cried all through the flight cos I didn't want to leave my best friend in Nigeria...

Another one was on my 5th birthday and I was just pissed at everyone that day(for no reason), I destroyed my super beautiful cake

Hmmmmn I can relate to that aunt wet pussy experience

Bifrost:


ezigbo idiot ki bu. How could you not know she was being sarcastic?

So, if she asks you to bring something for her and you ask where to put it, and she says "put it on my head" you will put it on her head?

lol...I tire for younger me o

ZIINI:
I read a girl's comments now and you will clearly know that her craziness didn't start when she's already a grown up
It started right from her childhood
Anyways keep it up

Lmaooo you for quote her na...looks like you don't want to be banned again

chatinent:
Mine: We were notorious for terrorizing the neighborhood pressing door bells and running away. Me and a friend. It's kinda our job after school.

One day I met my Waterloo by pressing a dysfunctional one having its wires stuck out. It electrocuted me to my marrows and threw me to the other side of the road.

I no gree. I wait for Kunle make e return. As e land, I carry am go that same faulty bell. He was always my accomplice so he ought to share in the electrocution.

Short Kunle hands couldn't reach the bell. I volunteered to carry him on my shoulders. As he pressed the bell... in fact, wetin do me..my mouth no fit talk wetin do me that day.


Share yours. Keep the fun going young..

E shole the two of you na