SarutobiEky:
you dey mind am The funniest part Na when she say the guy is born again. Lmao. When has that ever inhibited the antics of the average human being? All these ladies though.... testing? Lol. The guy sef Na dunce. A very slow motherfucker...how can you call a woman repeatedly asking her if she's eaten? Bastard ...death to the born again simp.

U see am.. the nigga really bleeped up by asking her that repeatedly

Munzy14:

Could be true...

Some ladies have issues sha, a cool friendship gradually moving, she decided to ruin it by doing unusual test that has sent so many sisters to shiloh...smh


She never chop since 3days without reason, as per Elder sister of john the baptist na...

This religious fanatic sisters can be something else...see them giving advise on blocking as SA to Moses on relationship matters...lol...We have seen things.

No mind dem jare . Some lady deserves a knock on the head

Michdaf:
I don't normally do this before but I am forced to because op and most commenting really misunderstood me. Yeah am the guy. I had to create this new account to hid my identity. Am Christian and everything I said and did I did with good intentions. Am not the type of guys that will blank or reject her because of money. I really wanted to her then. Infact one the reason I back peddled was because I couldn't assist then. She pose to me then like she was truly in need and I felt ashamed of myself. Not knowing she was lying. She could tell from my intentions then that I meant well. I was going through a lot of this then. Some of which the op knew about. I had this issue that landed me in court. Though she didn't know about the court issue. Am this type of person if am going through a ruff part, I don't like disturbing others. I keep things to myself. We just knew each other, and I cannot be sharing all this with you. If the op notice then, I wasn't if commenting on nl then. I was reserve in everything. Since

You shouldn't have ghosted her. That's my own. No matter whatever your crisis was, as far you had access to your phone daily, don't ghost her.

I'm not interested in if she billed you for feeding or you started a business for her or whatnot.
Why break that bond of connection that you guys have?

I wouldn't agree with many opinion here. Firstly you shouldn't have presumed he's a fair weather guy just because he didn't offer to help you rather he went off. He might as well have assumed you were broke and he's not comfortable with the fact that he couldn't sort you out. Perhaps he was having bad times as well.

Secondly since you don't like letting people know when you're fasting then you shouldn't have told him you've not eaten. Abba it's an indirect way of seeking pity and assistance. Nothing justifies saying you've not eaten when you wouldn't give reason for it.

The guy even tried asking you for 3 days, I wouldn't have asked you the second time instead I will move to another topic because if you can tell me you don't have any reason for not eating then it simply means you don't want us to discuss the topic so why should I care as well.

On a last note. If you know so far you enjoyed your friendship with the guy as you claimed, then confront him ( common we are adults) on why he disappeared when it appeared you needed him more. Then hear him out before you decide what to do. You see many ladies telling you to block him blablabla will take friendship with the guy to the next level o... You are on your own.

R0kstarr8:

U see am.. the nigga really bleeped up by asking her that repeatedly

infact they are both made for each other. Lmao

pocohantas:
You are overthinking things.

How can you keep saying you haven’t eaten for 3days without any explanation? Haba! Don’t you know that is Naija babes intro to ask for urgent 2k?

The guy is not psychic to know you were fasting. Whenever I tell a man I haven’t eaten, I always make sure I add the reason (e.g) Busy day, I am trying to watch my intake/weight...etc.

While it wasn’t so nice of him to disappear, we should remember that building relationships is hard in Nigeria because we suspect ourselves too much. Imagine if he kept telling you he is lonely.

It is okay if you want to block him, I just want you to know you are not entirely blameless. It takes time and trust to unlock certain aspects of a friendship...

wise girl. Ur good

Rockeet:
I wouldn't agree with many opinion here. Firstly you shouldn't have presumed he's a fair weather guy just because he didn't offer to help you rather he went off. He might as well have assumed you were broke and he's not comfortable with the fact that he couldn't sort you out. Perhaps he was having bad times as well.

Secondly since you don't like letting people know when you're fasting then you shouldn't have told him you've not eaten. Abba it's an indirect way of seeking pity and assistance. Nothing justifies saying you've not eaten when you wouldn't give reason for it.

The guy even tried asking you for 3 days, I wouldn't have asked you the second time instead I will move to another topic because if you can tell me you don't have any reason for not eating then it simply means you don't want us to discuss the topic so why should I care as well.

On a last note. If you know so far you enjoyed your friendship with the guy as you claimed, then confront him ( common we are adults) on why he disappeared when it appeared you needed him more. Then hear him out before you decide what to do. You see many ladies telling you to block him blablabla will take friendship with the guy to the next level o... You are on your own.

Ok. Thanks.

Michdaf:
I don't normally do this before but I am forced to because op and most commenting really misunderstood me. Yeah am the guy. I had to create this new account to hid my identity. Am Christian and everything I said and did I did with good intentions. Am not the type of guys that will blank or reject her because of money. I really wanted to her then. Infact one the reason I back peddled was because I couldn't assist then. She pose to me then like she was truly in need and I felt ashamed of myself. Not knowing she was lying. She could tell from my intentions then that I meant well. I was going through a lot of this then. Some of which the op knew about. I had this issue that landed me in court. Though she didn't know about the court issue. Am this type of person if am going through a ruff part, I don't like disturbing others. I keep things to myself. We just knew each other, and I cannot be sharing all this with you. If the op notice then, I wasn't if commenting on nl then. I was reserve in everything. Since

Wow. Emboldened. I knew this should be the reason when he made mention of you not being a Playboy.

CalliDora1:
Long post. Please bear with me.

This trait seems to be common among some Nairaland men (with apologies to all the men here though) cos I never really experienced such attitude with men ive met offline. So don't know whether they have a nairaland men's association (not the red pillars or mgtow kinda thing though) where they agree to behave likesome. The way they reason sometimes just baffles me.

Ok. So, I met someone here as a friend and I wanted it to stay that way. Along the line, he wanted more than just friendship but I just kept dodging because I don't want any issues as he's a good friend (a born again) and I like our friendly chats and all that. So didn't want anything serious that could jeopardize that but he kept pressing on and stressing until I naturally began to feel relaxed (against my wish) you know how that constant checking on someone tends to make one want to compromise their Stance. So I sort of got trapped.

Now here's the issue. He would always want to know about my biz and job. If I went or not. So I decided to test him. He would always call and ask if I've eaten. So that day, I said no (was fasting) but didn't want to divulge it to him that I was fasting. He called later in the day and asked again, I said I've not eaten, he dropped. I now felt he prolly thought I wanted him to feed me huh??.. I observed he reduced his calls. Third day he called and asked again, I said no. And he said "na wa o" I was like why, he said I'm sorry I can't help. Huh?? I don't remember asking him so I decided to play along. He called in the evening, I still said I've not eaten ( cos I had not broken my fast then) and he said I'm sorry ( I was just laughing within). I asked him, for what? he said because he couldn't help. And since then he stopped calling only to chat after a week to ask if the biz I was pursuing was through. I ignored him and for two months no contact.

Just last night he chatted me up again asking if I've resumed work and I said yes. he then asked if he's free to call me bla bla. And since last night hes been trying to keep up chats but I'm kinda cold towards him and he asked why I'm so cold. Acting like nothing happened.

Now, this is what I feel. so if someone is truly dying of hunger (God forbid) you'll abandon the fellow? or that they can't date someone who's biz is shaky or has not resumed work due to a global crises that affected everyone? I'm not saying anybody should carry someone else's burden ( there was really no burden anywhere as God has been faithful.) but I don't understand what actually played out there and why he's all of a sudden interested again after learning I've resumed work. I don't just understand because I don't want to be rude. Was that a right thing?

I'm really confused here because.. I mean.. I never asked you to help me with anything but being there would have been enough. Calling and chatting would have helped me scale through the bordom I felt that period of compulsory break from work and biz but he went into Oblivion even when I never placed any demands on him.

I bow to men and the way they reason o.

Honestly, I still don't understand your grievances with the said person.
The reason for being cold towards him for purposely making him misunderstand the situation. I really, sincerely, do not understand .

SupBruh:


oh... You would like that, won't you?

Don't be filthy minded.

Michdaf:
If you want to know why I stopped chatting and calling you, why didn't you tell me yesterday. why did you have to bring it here. I don't know what you wanted me to do then. I ask why haven't you eaten and you said you don't have much. And I was not that buoyant then. And I explained everything to you. Then you start giving me attitude. that period, I was invited to court and you know the reason. I was face with the court issue for six weeks. At first I was arrested and my phone was taken from me. All this period you didn't call. and the best thing you could do is to bring it up here. Am very disappointed

You better be careful young man. From all indications, this one is potentially worse off than your ex you claimed you just got off from a battle with.
See how she suddenly ran to strangers to lie, played the victim and labeled you the villain.
And she claims to be a born again Christian.
I don't think you've got came to this planet with much luck with women bro, but I'm sure you've more than make up for it with other aspects of life.

Sixfeetbelle:


The guy bleeped up by making an assumption. Until the person bills you before you ghost them. That's how these things work.

Okay, if he knew the format, why did he come back? Is he now rich enough to handle her billing?

Sincerely I didn't ghost her. I was going through a lot and we didn't just communicate. I don't know if you have been in situation where you just want keep things to yourself

purples25:
We need emotional care and not necessarily cash. He could have asked:

- why haven't you eaten?
-hope there's no issue?

That will be as good and comforting as money.

You guys are too bland emotionally. Even if you dont have money, why fear to ask what the matter is? If you don't have money will she kill you? Did she ask you? Don't assume in a relationship, it causes issues.

Everything is not about money.

What do you think we need?

Harmless question though.

luminouz:


How was he at fault Sir?
A girl you just met deh say she never chop for 3 days and you will send her money or what? No wonder girls dey chop una anyhow


Think deep and see what dafuq I'm saying. Many girls here faulted her story and the interpretations.

Poco does not stand for many girls though

Fair weather friends are real. They have been in existence for long. Not just about guys. It cuts across gender. So good you detected him earlier.

Sixfeetbelle:


He ghosted her and then came back. Why?

Is he ready to feed her now?

No, perhaps he felt she must have made some harvest. Or perhaps encountered some of this "send me your pictures and let me credit your account" people

Tadeknkeepcalm:

Honestly, I still don't understand your grievances with the said person.
The reason for being cold towards him for purposely making him misunderstand the situation. I really, sincerely, do not understand .

My grievance is, why did he ghost me when I didn't pressure him to do anything for me against his wish. It made feel like he didn't want to associate with a "failure" and God knows I'm not and will never be a failure.

Ladycewhy:
Lol. The way you people talk on this forum one would think you are some super people outside.


I know guys here who form big boys with one account and beg with their alternates.na dem dey shout broke girls this and that pass.lol. make I face my front.

don't open my yansh biko , online is power while offline is ..

CalliDora1:


My dear, my dear hm.

Now imagine if I marry such a man, when there's little challenge in biz, he'll blank me? These thoughts have been rioting in my heart since our last contact.

Yeah sure we don't need such in our lives.

Ok. But why didn't you call him? Why didn't you put in the effort? Shebi friendship goes both ways. Your grievances might hold some weight if you did that and he pulled away. And maybe then your accusations might be true

.

pocohantas:
You are overthinking things.

How can you keep saying you haven’t eaten for 3days without any explanation? Haba! Don’t you know that is Naija babes intro to ask for urgent 2k?

The guy is not psychic to know you were fasting. Whenever I tell a man I haven’t eaten, I always make sure I add the reason (e.g) Busy day, I am trying to watch my intake/weight...etc.

While it wasn’t so nice of him to disappear, we should remember that building relationships is hard in Nigeria because we suspect ourselves too much. Imagine if he kept telling you he is lonely.

It is okay if you want to block him, I just want you to know you are not entirely blameless. It takes time and trust to unlock certain aspects of a friendship...

The first reasonable comment. Thanks

Michdaf:
Sincerely I didn't ghost her. I was going through a lot and we didn't just communicate. I don't know if you have been in situation where you just want keep things to yourself

Stop beating yasef nigga, you don't owe anyone explanations at all. It's your shit to sort out.

CalliDora1:


Poco bia, I'm not guilty of anything you spotted up there. I already explained I don't like letting people know when I'm fasting that was why I kept it that way and expected him to stop asking the first time I didn't give tangible reasons and didn't request from him either.

Ok, why did he keep asking without offering anything? That alone in itself is annoying but I didn't count it. Yet he kept asking, which was why I decided to play him.

I don't know the angle you're viewing this from but let me tell you, it's not what you think.

Gracias.

ghost the man if you feel like he doesn't deserve your friendship, the man should open his eyes too and look elsewhere for another girl, the last time I checked population of woman is more than man. it is well my dear sister

pocohantas:


It is not about your kind of person, it is stereotyping. I am sure you are guilty of a few- I have spotted one sef. That is the same way he formed his own notion. You kept saying you haven’t eaten and it triggered his alarm...

My God. You're just speaking my mind with every comment

trutht828:



Stop judging people in absentia. It's wrong and immature.

What if you are wrong?

Do you know if the guys reaction was due to his previous experiences with relationships? You don't know if he had been duped by women pretending to not have eaten before. Or isn't that one of the tricks your fellow women use to siphon money from guys?

How will you just generalize that way? What manner of rubbish is this?

Despite all the talks going on here, no guy has been able to tell me why he's back after ghosting her because of a perceived 2k?

Is he now buoyant enough to give her the 2k?

The OP is very selfish and highly immature, if I was the guy I would block you bad never message you. someone you haven't met facially you were expecting him to help you in your own interest.


People like you are the worst last, for your type I jump and pass. wait for someone to give you urgent 2k. �

Ishilove:

Don't be filthy minded.

Well.. You offered.. I couldn't help it.

Sarita01:
I really can't relate to the unnecessary fuss,I think high expectations is the reason you're hurt,you might not have asked him for stuff but you were expecting him to offer cos if he had offered I'm very sure you would'nt have refused. Why must you test him? How are you sure his questions isn't even a test?cos all I see is 2 pple trying to outsmart the other. There are subtle ways you can tell someone you've not eaten,it's either you tell half truths or you evade the question but you continuously saying no,sent the wrong message across,your outright no seemed like coded begging.
Am I the only one who thinks asking if someone has eaten is plain annoying and stupid cos I don't see the essence,what if I haven't eaten would you come and feed me,I seriously hate that question and I detest when guys ask such. The guy's continuous asking is enough to put you off. The nigga mAh sef get zero chills,sharp sharp him jakpa,he no want turn pesin papa,just tell him what he did to you that you don't like and then you guys can go ya seperate ways amicably. And babe stop putting people on high pedestal so that when they disappoint you you wouldn't get hurt unnecessarily.

Yeah yeah. We know he jakpad to avoid being billed but he came back. Explain that.

Bodyodour:
don't open my yansh biko , online is power while offline is ..

lol. I nor dey in the habit to open people yansh.

CalliDora1:


My grievance is, why did he ghost me when I didn't pressure him to do anything for me against his wish. It made feel like he didn't want to associate with a "failure" and God knows I'm not and will never be a failure.

Calm down lady, just calm down - ya blood too dey hot.

The guy no get sense! why the hell would you be asking a girl if she has eaten or not from time to time as if he wanna feed her? na the guy cause am.

Reason me don't do much of calling if nothing sensible and reasonable to discuss with a girl other than have you eaten shit!

No be by force to check on a girl and if you won do that exempt the "have you eaten" part if you know you in no position to render help. Asking such question doesn't literally mean you are caring But Responding to the "No" not eaten answer of the girl with help is what matters

To the other mumu guys thats used to asking that stupid "have you eaten" question, now is the time to get more sense! I rest my case!

CalliDora1:
Long post. Please bear with me.

This trait seems to be common among some Nairaland men (with apologies to all the men here though) cos I never really experienced such attitude with men ive met offline. So don't know whether they have a nairaland men's association (not the red pillars or mgtow kinda thing though) where they agree to behave likesome. The way they reason sometimes just baffles me.

Ok. So, I met someone here as a friend and I wanted it to stay that way. Along the line, he wanted more than just friendship but I just kept dodging because I don't want any issues as he's a good friend (a born again) and I like our friendly chats and all that. So didn't want anything serious that could jeopardize that but he kept pressing on and stressing until I naturally began to feel relaxed (against my wish) you know how that constant checking on someone tends to make one want to compromise their Stance. So I sort of got trapped.

Now here's the issue. He would always want to know about my biz and job. If I went or not. So I decided to test him. He would always call and ask if I've eaten. So that day, I said no (was fasting) but didn't want to divulge it to him that I was fasting. He called later in the day and asked again, I said I've not eaten, he dropped. I now felt he prolly thought I wanted him to feed me huh??.. I observed he reduced his calls. Third day he called and asked again, I said no. And he said "na wa o" I was like why, he said I'm sorry I can't help. Huh?? I don't remember asking him so I decided to play along. He called in the evening, I still said I've not eaten ( cos I had not broken my fast then) and he said I'm sorry ( I was just laughing within). I asked him, for what? he said because he couldn't help. And since then he stopped calling only to chat after a week to ask if the biz I was pursuing was through. I ignored him and for two months no contact.

Just last night he chatted me up again asking if I've resumed work and I said yes. he then asked if he's free to call me bla bla. And since last night hes been trying to keep up chats but I'm kinda cold towards him and he asked why I'm so cold. Acting like nothing happened.

Now, this is what I feel. so if someone is truly dying of hunger (God forbid) you'll abandon the fellow? or that they can't date someone who's biz is shaky or has not resumed work due to a global crises that affected everyone? I'm not saying anybody should carry someone else's burden ( there was really no burden anywhere as God has been faithful.) but I don't understand what actually played out there and why he's all of a sudden interested again after learning I've resumed work. I don't just understand because I don't want to be rude. Was that a right thing?

I'm really confused here because.. I mean.. I never asked you to help me with anything but being there would have been enough. Calling and chatting would have helped me scale through the bordom I felt that period of compulsory break from work and biz but he went into Oblivion even when I never placed any demands on him.

I bow to men and the way they reason o.

CalliDora1:


Poco bia, I'm not guilty of anything you spotted up there. I already explained I don't like letting people know when I'm fasting that was why I kept it that way and expected him to stop asking the first time I didn't give tangible reasons and didn't request from him either.

Ok, why did he keep asking without offering anything? That alone in itself is annoying but I didn't count it. Yet he kept asking, which was why I decided to play him.

I don't know the angle you're viewing this from but let me tell you, it's not what you think.

Gracias.

He offered his sympathy. His pity. Why do you sound so entitled. To call—you feel it's your right to be called. Now you're castigating him for not "offering anything". And you've been saying you didn't want anything since. The hypocrisy.