Decimus:


Correct guy. Now you have to appease the goddess, so she can at least pick pick your calls.
Send some money to her so she can 'pump' it into her business.

Open a BTC wallet for her too and send her abroad for Masters next year.
People don't value what they have until they lose it, please don't make her sad again.

A story went viral yesterday, about a Knight that trained a lady through Nursing school, they are happily married now, i can see same thing about to happen here.

Assuming devil dey employ, you would have made a 'good' evil agent.

omooba969:


Be quiet please.

You tryna wash your dirty linen in public but you wouldn't let folks have their say.

Who does that?

Abi o, person no call you you sef no call am you con dey foam. Some people sense of entitlement and presumption is becoming so disgusting. Like the guy she quoted rightly said I don't think they both have something reasonable to discuss hence the reason he was asking if she has eaten upandan like a toddler no reasonable conversation that can sustain the relationship so since there's no money for food and he has stopped asking that automatically end the relationship. Make the guy bone her side ojare. I'm happily married to a nairaland so enough of the stereotype already.

omooba969:
[s][/s]

Lol Ur Audio online girlfriend purples25 is liking Ur post u coon

[s]

lkillbrokehoes:
Lol Ur Audio online girlfriend purple is liking Ur post. u coon

[/s]

Decimus:


Correct guy. Now you have to appease the goddess, so she can at least pick pick your calls.
Send some money to her so she can 'pump' it into her business.

Open a BTC wallet for her too and send her abroad for Masters next year.
People don't value what they have until they lose it, please don't make her sad again.

A story went viral yesterday, about a Knight that trained a lady through Nursing school, they are happily married now, i can see same thing about to happen here.

Your road to Paradise is more tiny than narrow I swear anyways as for the knight and his babe you mentioned I was their RSVP for their reception so food still remain for cooler in case you are interested.

CalliDora1:


Nope. You are the slow one here. I won't have you talk about him like that. Ok?

Michda


Rockeet, do you see anything?

Splitmind:
You think we are stupid abi.

I have not eaten is a code word for women to stylishly display their begging characteristics that's why he's avoiding you so you don't drain him dry treating audio hunger.

Concerning your first paragraph lots of men are through with women's bullshit but they won't tell you in real life because women have a tendency to attack and spread negative rumours about people who don't fit their ideologies.

Men would rather stick to talking about these things online than risk job loss, loss of friends or even physical attacks because one upset woman didn't like hearing that women these days are entitled and lazy when it comes to relationships.

Any excuse for men is acceptable. You've entered this mans mind to unlock everything he was thinking. Because all men are the same. Even you that is not him, and werent in a relationship, you know exactly what he was thinking.

IamGreen1:


Abi o, person no call you you sef no call am you con dey foam. Some people sense of entitlement and presumption is becoming so disgusting. Like the guy she quoted rightly said I don't think they both have something reasonable to discuss hence the reason he was asking if she has eaten upandan like a toddler no reasonable conversation that can sustain the relationship so since there's no money for food and he has stopped asking that automatically end the relationship. Make the guy bone her side ojare. I'm happily married to a nairaland so enough of the stereotype already.

Lol I would consider the question reasonable coz of the effect of the lockdown which ushered in the hunger in Naija. Like someone here mentioned, they prolly don't have 'wide interests' to talk about in order to sustain an intelligent conversation.

From an evolutionary perspective, men are programmed to help women. Obviously, the guy assumes every lady fits into that stereotype and is probably unaware that guys these days no longer buy into that evolutionary thinking. Gone are the days that men go out of the way to offer unsolicited help to women. They now prefer ladies who are self-reliant and financially independent. No need to be hard on him; he's just old school.







[quote author=CalliDora1 post=96168639]Long post.

Please bear with me.

This trait seems to be common among some Nairaland men (with apologies to all the men here though) cos I never really experienced such attitude with men ive met offline. So don't know whether they have a nairaland men's association (not the red pillars or mgtow kinda thing though) where they agree to behave likesome. The way they reason sometimes just baffles me.

Ok. So, I met someone here as a friend and I wanted it to stay that way. Along the line, he wanted more than just friendship but I just kept dodging because I don't want any issues as he's a good friend (a born again) and I like our friendly chats and all that. So didn't want anything serious that could jeopardize that but he kept pressing on and stressing until I naturally began to feel relaxed (against my wish) you know how that constant checking on someone tends to make one want to compromise their Stance. So I sort of got trapped.

Now here's the issue. He would always want to know about my biz and job. If I went or not. So I decided to test him. He would always call and ask if I've eaten. So that day, I said no (was fasting) but didn't want to divulge it to him that I was fasting. He called later in the day and asked again, I said I've not eaten, he dropped. I now felt he prolly thought I wanted him to feed me huh??.. I observed he reduced his calls. Third day he called and asked again, I said no. And he said "na wa o" I was like why, he said I'm sorry I can't help. Huh?? I don't remember asking him so I decided to play along. He called in the evening, I still said I've not eaten ( cos I had not broken my fast then) and he said I'm sorry ( I was just laughing within). I asked him, for what? he said because he couldn't help. And since then he stopped calling only to chat after a week to ask if the biz I was pursuing was through. I ignored him and for two months no contact.

Just last night he chatted me up again asking if I've resumed work and I said yes. he then asked if he's free to call me bla bla. And since last night hes been trying to keep up chats but I'm kinda cold towards him and he asked why I'm so cold. Acting like nothing happened.

Now, this is what I feel. so if someone is truly dying of hunger (God forbid) you'll abandon the fellow? or that they can't date someone who's biz is shaky or has not resumed work due to a global crises that affected everyone? I'm not saying anybody should carry someone else's burden ( there was really no burden anywhere as God has been faithful.) but I don't understand what actually played out there and why he's all of a sudden interested again after learning I've resumed work. I don't just understand because I don't want to be rude. Was that a right thing?

I'm really confused here because.. I mean.. I never asked you to help me with anything but being there would have been enough. Calling and chatting would have helped me scale through the bordom I felt that period of compulsory break from work and biz but he went into Oblivion even when I never placed any demands on him.

I bow to men and the way they reason o

CalliDora1:


Who's talking about keeping up a convo here? This is just one those things that occur in a relationship and it has nothing to do with not being an expert at maintaining good conversation.

You guys should refrain from using derogatory words in your bid to airing your opinion. Biko.

But he said the truth, u were too quick to judge him, I'm sure if u were the person u won't like it, this is why I don't and will never consider chatting any girl online

Decimus:


I understand you bro. It's good now that you are ready to correct your mistake, that lady is a gem and she doesn't deserve such treatment from you. Since she's not picking your calls, text her to send you her account number so you can wire her account. She also said you are a civil servant, maybe you should place her on a certain percentage of your salary, like 35%.
If she refuse to send her account number, go and drop the money at her doorstep.

Are you for real?

fenomeno2007:
From an evolutionary perspective, men are programmed to help women. Obviously, the guy assumes every lady fits into that stereotype and is probably unaware that guys these days no longer buy into that evolutionary thinking. Gone are the days that men go out of the way to offer unsolicited help to women. They now prefer ladies who are self-reliant and financially independent. No need to be hard on him; he's just old school.

He's no old school. For your info, I'm older than him. So you know.

CalliDora1:


I said he did and asked if I didn't have food but I just replied, I'll be fine. He actually did but my concern is why he went mute and is now coming back asking the same annoying questions.

You're going to read a lot of reasons why what you did was wrong. This is the home of patriarchal bullshit. Few men will agree with you. Most women eager not to be seen as "liabilities" will savage you.

But the truth is, that guy is one of the men of nairaland. In this place men are always right, heroes and saints, no matter the bullshit they bring up, and women are always gold diggers.

You met one of the male gold diggers. He wants to for what monetary benefits you have. Leave him, because the day you don't make a sale, he will be at the other end of the world, as far away from you as possible. He will say you're unproductive and a golddigger on that day. That is the world of women who are not liabilities and men who desire such women's money.

Forget about the food issue what abt you biz he keeps asking about? . Just tell him you are jobless or your biz is bad and he will run off. That guy is a gold digger. He might have seen this thread so even if you put him to the test or conforts him he will how to play u.

CalliDora1:



He's no old school. For your info, I'm older than him. So you know.

Is he aware? If he is then is all the more a clear case of chop clean mouth he wants to do.

CalliDora1:



He's no old school. For your info, I'm older than him. So you know.

Oh, he's one of them looking for older women because they are financially buoyant. You should know he's a gold digger. This is very clear.
He's for after a relationship or friendship. He's after financial security and your maturity. He, on the other hand, will lack both. Broke men always think you're after their imaginary money, like he did. So he's broke.

R.u.n.

IamGreen1:


Your road to Paradise is more tiny than narrow I swear anyways as for the knight and his babe you mentioned I was their RSVP for their reception so food still remain for cooler in case you are interested.

The Op reason for opening this thread is hunger related. Kindly give her all the food left in the cooler, to avoid similar cases in future.

iamloyalty:


Is he aware? If he is then is all the more a clear case of chop clean mouth he wants to do.

The more she reveals the more obvious the guy is using her for something. He doesn't really want a relationship. He's just testing his fantasy as a gigolo.

Dear hanty... The niggaa fukkk up yes, but see you're not entirely blameless.

If you're my blood sister sef, I will still look u in the eye and tel you the truth. Una two nai fu...ck up. Tho, the guy fu.c.k up nai big pass.

Have you eaten?? No straight three days, without even a back up reason. Make una dey calm down o. Two much testy testy can make someone to loose a serious partner just because of silly reason.

Hello female folks, it's not by attending to those your small small attention in the beginning, the important thing is consistency.

What if he plays along and later, he changed? Is that what you want?

See, my advise to you is simple, if initially there was a time you actually liked his personality, abeg continue the friendship. No biggie.

You can still correct me tho, nobody knows it all.
I come in peace ✌️

BRATISLAVA:


Oh, he's one of them looking for older women because they are financially buoyant. You should know he's a gold digger. This is very clear.
He's for after a relationship or friendship. He's after financial security and your maturity. He, on the other hand, will lack both.

R.u.n.

iamloyalty:


Is he aware? If he is then is all the more a clear case of chop clean mouth he wants to do.

On the Contrary though, He's not a gold digger. And he's very much aware I'm older but because I don't look my age, hes not bothered. He's not just any guy, he's a MAN!.

Beey:
That’s the kind of BS I don’t want in my life. Every year, I re-evaluate my friend list to decide who stays & who goes. I took some classes with a few Africans. I’d always get to work late & lie to my boss that class ended late. Truth is that I was the only one driving & had to drop them off at their homes before going to work. One was a fellow Kenyan so we kept the communication even after the training ended. My family suffered two losses within a short span of time. Each time I messaged this so called friend, there’s be no response.In normal chats, he sees my messages but during loss, he claims not to see. Probably because we Kenyans usually contribute money. Even if he didn’t give me money, I’d have understood he was a student, but ignoring me at times of loss, that’s not a person I can call a friend, so I cut our friendship. On the other hand, I recently chatted with a guy who started borrowing money. Gave him twice & then blocked him. He could have been afraid of being exploited, but if you two were already dating, then I don’t think he’s worth keeping because it shows he’s a fair weather person.Want to enjoy the good times but, don’t look for him in your time of trouble because he’ll have taken off. If your boyfriend can’t support you in your time if need, him being in your life is a big mistake.Can’t be trusted.

You've said it all. Fair-weather friends. There for using you, but never there when you need them for a teeeny bitsy favor.

Decimus:

The Op reason for opening this thread is hunger related. Kindly give her all the food left in the cooler, to avoid similar cases in future.

Very easy to spot a small boy.
Rubbish!

CalliDora1:



On the Contrary though, He's not a gold digger. And he's very much aware I'm older but because I don't look my age, hes not bothered. He's not just any guy, he's a MAN!.

If he's not a gold digger, why is he so concerned about your financial status? Why is he running when he thinks you need food from him? Why is he too interested in your pockets?

Well, you know him best. But what you described is a gold digger in male uniform. Men can be gold diggers, who said its only reserved for boys? He's immature whether you say he's a man or not.

CalliDora1:



He's no old school. For your info, I'm older than him. So you know.

Look at how you are just letting things out

BRATISLAVA:

If he's not a gold digger, why is he so concerned about your financial status? Why is he running when he thinks you need food from him? Why is he too interested in your pockets?

Well, you know him best. But what you described is a gold digger in male uniform. Men can be gold diggers, who said its only reserved for boys? He's immature whether you say he's a man or not.

Who told am concerned about her financial status, ask her she will tell you am not type of a person. I was only being caring

BRATISLAVA:


Any excuse for men is acceptable. You've entered this mans mind to unlock everything he was thinking. Because all men are the same. Even you that is not him, and werent in a relationship, you know exactly what he was thinking.

You're describing the thought process of the average woman whenever an interaction with a man doesn't go the way she'd liked.

So don't know whether they have a nairaland men's association (not the red pillars or mgtow kinda thing though) where they agree to behave likesome. The way they reason sometimes just baffles me.

Hope you had the same energy for OP when she said the above?


Now back to the matter at hand, OP already admitted she knew he was interested in her but didn't want to "ruin the friendship" yet still wants to play with his feelings for favours. Most men have experienced it at one point or the other we aren't stupid, this entitlement mentality is not new to us.

IamGreen1:


Abi o, person no call you you sef no call am you con dey foam. Some people sense of entitlement and presumption is becoming so disgusting. Like the guy she quoted rightly said I don't think they both have something reasonable to discuss hence the reason he was asking if she has eaten upandan like a toddler no reasonable conversation that can sustain the relationship so since there's no money for food and he has stopped asking that automatically end the relationship. Make the guy bone her side ojare. I'm happily married to a nairaland so enough of the stereotype already.

Just shut up already if you don't have anything reasonable to say. It's you who lack communication skills for typing this trash.

Pele o. Mrs Nairalander. You don't sound like a married woman but a slowpoke because you should give me a motherly advice (like the responsible married woman you claim to be) like other ladies here and not trying to ridicule your pathetic self.

Buzz off!

CalliDora1:


Very easy to spot a small boy.
Rubbish!

Well, you already have enough on your hands. I'd rather not add to it.

pocohantas:


It is not about your kind of person, it is stereotyping. I am sure you are guilty of a few- I have spotted one sef. That is the same way he formed his own notion. You kept saying you haven’t eaten and it triggered his alarm...

If he's alarmed at the fact that someone hasn't eaten... someone he's nurturing a friendship with... and his only reaction was to bolt, he's not a cool person. Not as a friend... certainly not as a spouse.

A thoughtful person would have been genuinely concerned... not taking himself out of the equation.

Too many mind games with people these days.

NOwazobia:
every disappointment is a blessing in disguise. You should be happy she exposed the type of lady she is; atleast, you can now adjust accordingly. Goodluck bro.

Thanks man