pocohantas:
You are overthinking things.

How can you keep saying you haven’t eaten for 3days without any explanation? Haba! Don’t you know that is Naija babes intro to ask for urgent 2k?

The guy is not psychic to know you were fasting. Whenever I tell a man I haven’t eaten, I always make sure I add the reason (e.g) Busy day, I am trying to watch my intake/weight...etc.

While it wasn’t so nice of him to disappear, we should remember that building relationships is hard in Nigeria because we suspect ourselves too much. Imagine if he kept telling you he is lonely.

It is okay if you want to block him, I just want you to know you are not entirely blameless. It takes time and trust to unlock certain aspects of a friendship...

Nne ehn, your comments nowadays dey shock me o

Splitmind:


You're describing the thought process of the average woman whenever an interaction with a man doesn't go the way she'd liked.



Hope you had the same energy for OP when she said the above?


Now back to the matter at hand, OP already admitted she knew he was interested in her but didn't want to "ruin the friendship" yet still wants to play with his feelings for favours. Most men have experienced it at one point or the other we aren't stupid, this entitlement mentality is not new to us.

And once men think they have an upper hand to attack women, they tend to post exactly like you do.

Men are never objective or logical once a woman is involved. It becomes perceived "emotions" from the man, once they are not getting things their own way and they know everyone can see that.

If it were a post denigrating women, you would act like the male writer is some hero coming away from a battlefield. He would've been lauded for being wise and you would be one of those to call her a bitch. Fear men and their lopsided evaluation to favor men, because they hate women and feminism and they must support themselves come what may.

The male cycle continues. Play victim, attack women no matter what, laud yourselves. Absolutely nothing new.

Next!

CalliDora1:
Long post. Please bear with me.

This trait seems to be common among some Nairaland men (with apologies to all the men here though) cos I never really experienced such attitude with men ive met offline. So don't know whether they have a nairaland men's association (not the red pillars or mgtow kinda thing though) where they agree to behave likesome. The way they reason sometimes just baffles me.

Ok. So, I met someone here as a friend and I wanted it to stay that way. Along the line, he wanted more than just friendship but I just kept dodging because I don't want any issues as he's a good friend (a born again) and I like our friendly chats and all that. So didn't want anything serious that could jeopardize that but he kept pressing on and stressing until I naturally began to feel relaxed (against my wish) you know how that constant checking on someone tends to make one want to compromise their Stance. So I sort of got trapped.

Now here's the issue. He would always want to know about my biz and job. If I went or not. So I decided to test him. He would always call and ask if I've eaten. So that day, I said no (was fasting) but didn't want to divulge it to him that I was fasting. He called later in the day and asked again, I said I've not eaten, he dropped. I now felt he prolly thought I wanted him to feed me huh??.. I observed he reduced his calls. Third day he called and asked again, I said no. And he said "na wa o" I was like why, he said I'm sorry I can't help. Huh?? I don't remember asking him so I decided to play along. He called in the evening, I still said I've not eaten ( cos I had not broken my fast then) and he said I'm sorry ( I was just laughing within). I asked him, for what? he said because he couldn't help. And since then he stopped calling only to chat after a week to ask if the biz I was pursuing was through. I ignored him and for two months no contact.

Just last night he chatted me up again asking if I've resumed work and I said yes. he then asked if he's free to call me bla bla. And since last night hes been trying to keep up chats but I'm kinda cold towards him and he asked why I'm so cold. Acting like nothing happened.

Now, this is what I feel. so if someone is truly dying of hunger (God forbid) you'll abandon the fellow? or that they can't date someone who's biz is shaky or has not resumed work due to a global crises that affected everyone? I'm not saying anybody should carry someone else's burden ( there was really no burden anywhere as God has been faithful.) but I don't understand what actually played out there and why he's all of a sudden interested again after learning I've resumed work. I don't just understand because I don't want to be rude. Was that a right thing?

I'm really confused here because.. I mean.. I never asked you to help me with anything but being there would have been enough. Calling and chatting would have helped me scale through the bordom I felt that period of compulsory break from work and biz but he went into Oblivion even when I never placed any demands on him.

I bow to men and the way they reason o.

I don't even know the point you're trying to make.

but in summary, I think you're a fool.

you expect the young man to come and carry your wahala for head, just to show you that he cares abi?

you be mumu.

Sixfeetbelle:


Still doesn't answer my question.

Is now rich enough to turn maga or what?



If I'm the girl, since I didn't plan to bill him before but he jakpa on his own, his return will be filled with transaction up and down. Nonsense

Lol, some people might be simps in attitude but they don't joke with money.
Someone that fled when there was no transaction will evaporate when you introduce transactions.

[quote author=CalliDora1 post=96169732]

My dear. @bolded is my thoughts because he resumed the question this morning again.

Sugar what?.. this person I'm telling you is a MAN as in very mature guy and from all indications he's not a play boy. But why he pulled that stunt at the last minute was what got me upset and worried.

I'm thinking whether to download all he did to him and how I see it or just block him.



I don't want to appear wicked or rude but my interest is no longer there.

Block him quote]

pocohantas:


It is not about your kind of person, it is stereotyping. I am sure you are guilty of a few- I have spotted one sef. That is the same way he formed his own notion. You kept saying you haven’t eaten and it triggered his alarm...

Razor blade mouth!

I believe say the op been dey use scope dey whine the guy, but sha, no be everybody wey dey fast dey like tell people say dem dey fast.

The nairaland guy go probably be one of those ubunja disciples ....dem no dey like fall their master hand

Michdaf:
Who told am concerned about her financial status, ask her she will tell you am not type of a person. I was only being caring

Are you the man in question?

Decimus:

Lol, some people might be simps in attitude but they don't joke with money.
Someone that fled when there was no transaction will evaporate when you introduce transactions.

That's the whole idea nah. Let him keep running oh cause if he ever comes back, I'd beggar him.

Michdaf:
Continuation. Since you this am going to let everything out. Another reason why I back peddled was she had issues on nl. She had been in different relationship in the past that was gave her bad impression here on nl. She had to change her moniker different times. Infact people of her past relationships still hurt her. I just came out of a relationship that was a disaster. And am not ready to get involved in another traumatic relationship. So when all this things start coming out, I decided I should give her time to sort herself out. People were cursing and insulting her. She hardly comment without people cursing her and am not ready for such. So I withdrew.

Hmm.. just seeing this now. There won't be any need picking your calls then. So let me finish it all here.

So, why did you come back now? Have people stopped bashing me? Funny you. You're just using this to save face Dafe. You initially said you withdrew because of the issue you had. Now it's because of my past issues on here?? Lol..

mariahAngel:



Razor blade mouth!

I believe say the op been dey use scope dey whine the guy, but sha, nobody everybody wey dey fast dey like tell people say dem dey fast.

The nairaland guy go probably be one of those ubunja disciples ....dem no dey like fall their master hand

Exactly what I said @ the bold.


But trust some over-righteous people to go on interrogating me

Cc: joeekuns

gbemishile:
To the guy-stop asking if the girl has eaten.its a question that girls ask and not boys..don't be a pvssy
Thmo the girl,why u dey 'test' am? Does he look like a tester

Hahhahaha wickedness

sexdoll:


I don't even know the point you're trying to make.

but in summary, I think you're a fool.

you expect the young man to come and carry your wahala for head, just to show you that he cares abi?

you be mumu.

Coming from someone who cannot a comprehend a simple write-up. Go and work on your cognitive skills.

You can have him now. I'm done with him.

The mistake is that he contacted you again... That's a red flag right there... Telling someone you've not met that you have not eaten for 3 days... Shame!

[deleted]

Sixfeetbelle:


Exactly what I said @ the bold.


But trust some over-righteous people to go on interrogating me

Cc: joeekuns

I wonder if the guy asked her why she hadn't eaten
If he did, and she told him nothing , then she's at fault.

CalliDora1, did he at least ask why you had not eaten?

Decimus:

Yes bro. He should be paying her monthly, then save up to send her abroad for Masters next year.

Sarcasm at it's finest

[deleted]

NOwazobia:
You disappointed me with this post sincerely. You talk like a woman. Personal secrets you can't keep. If you are a sensitive and intelligent guy, you should have known that this post is uncalled for and wrong in every shade. Too bad.

Don't mind him. He thinks he can shame me. He's here running his mouth tap but he has almost drained my battery with calls.

Dafe, michdaf, I'm done. Please let me be. Or did you think I would be sitting like a puppet waiting for you to come back?

CalliDora1:


Don't mind him. He thinks he can shame me. He's here running his mouth tap but he has almost drained my battery with calls.

Dafe, michdaf, I'm done. Please let me be. Or did you think I would be sitting like a puppet waiting for you to come back?

.....Hmm. So you already got another guy? Lol

[deleted]

CalliDora1:


Who's talking about keeping up a convo here? This is just one those things that occur in a relationship and it has nothing to do with not being an expert at maintaining good conversation.

You guys should refrain from using derogatory words in your bid to airing your opinion. Biko.

It's a faceless forum, i say it as it is.

You don't have to say it, it's apparent that both of you can't keep up a convo.

And for mentioning that you didn't say it in your long story plainly buttresses my opinion on your IQ.

The implication of your long story is obvious.

Not all men are d same

Decimus:

The Op reason for opening this thread is hunger related. Kindly give her all the food left in the cooler, to avoid similar cases in future.

no wonder she dey foam from one trend to another

CalliDora1:


Don't mind him. He thinks he can shame me. He's here running his mouth tap but he has almost drained my battery with calls.

Dafe, michdaf, I'm done. Please let me be. Or did you think I would be sitting like a puppet waiting for you to come back?

So you wrote all this just to say you done. why didn't you tell yesterday

Michdaf, stop trying so hard. I won't pick. You see that comment you made on page six, you go hear am.

Sha don't kill my battery for me.

Thank you.

Rutheby:


It seem so. She was advised to leave and she's heeding.

she have been softing-peddal, so hope is still in the hanging.

Michdaf:
If you want to know why I stopped chatting and calling you, why didn't you tell me yesterday. why did you have to bring it here. I don't know what you wanted me to do then. I ask why haven't you eaten and you said you don't have much. And I was not that buoyant then. And I explained everything to you. Then you start giving me attitude. that period, I was invited to court and you know the reason. I was face with the court issue for six weeks. At first I was arrested and my phone was taken from me. All this period you didn't call. and the best thing you could do is to bring it up here. Am very disappointed

Lesson: Don't ask questions if you can't handle the answer.

There is no need for you guys to all ask the same question over and over again. You people even send the same 'romantic' texts to every girl you happen to meet. So boring.

Michdaf:
Please pick my calls.

Stop iiiiiiiiiitt plssssz!!!

CalliDora1:


Hmm.. just seeing this now. There won't be any need picking your calls then. So let me finish it all here.

So, why did you come back now? Have people stopped bashing me? Funny you. You're just using this to save face Dafe. You initially said you withdrew because of the issue you had. Now it's because of my past issues on here?? Lol..

I took your post out of context. please pick the call let's talk.

CalliDora1:


My dear, help me ask all of them o. Why is he back?

You are pathetic anyway I blame the simpleton

I wouldn't be too quick to judge this guy wrongly!! Someone calling you..chatting almost everyday but took a break...perhaps you should have check up on him to know what went wrong.. Instead you were over sensitive to what I think might not be the case..you read so much meanings to your last conversation!!! The guy in question might be dealing with some sort of things(domestic issues) that made him to go on break with you.. Just don't be mislead think twice

CalliDora1:
Long post. Please bear with me.

This trait seems to be common among some Nairaland men (with apologies to all the men here though) cos I never really experienced such attitude with men ive met offline. So don't know whether they have a nairaland men's association (not the red pillars or mgtow kinda thing though) where they agree to behave likesome. The way they reason sometimes just baffles me.

Ok. So, I met someone here as a friend and I wanted it to stay that way. Along the line, he wanted more than just friendship but I just kept dodging because I don't want any issues as he's a good friend (a born again) and I like our friendly chats and all that. So didn't want anything serious that could jeopardize that but he kept pressing on and stressing until I naturally began to feel relaxed (against my wish) you know how that constant checking on someone tends to make one want to compromise their Stance. So I sort of got trapped.

Now here's the issue. He would always want to know about my biz and job. If I went or not. So I decided to test him. He would always call and ask if I've eaten. So that day, I said no (was fasting) but didn't want to divulge it to him that I was fasting. He called later in the day and asked again, I said I've not eaten, he dropped. I now felt he prolly thought I wanted him to feed me huh??.. I observed he reduced his calls. Third day he called and asked again, I said no. And he said "na wa o" I was like why, he said I'm sorry I can't help. Huh?? I don't remember asking him so I decided to play along. He called in the evening, I still said I've not eaten ( cos I had not broken my fast then) and he said I'm sorry ( I was just laughing within). I asked him, for what? he said because he couldn't help. And since then he stopped calling only to chat after a week to ask if the biz I was pursuing was through. I ignored him and for two months no contact.

Just last night he chatted me up again asking if I've resumed work and I said yes. he then asked if he's free to call me bla bla. And since last night hes been trying to keep up chats but I'm kinda cold towards him and he asked why I'm so cold. Acting like nothing happened.

Now, this is what I feel. so if someone is truly dying of hunger (God forbid) you'll abandon the fellow? or that they can't date someone who's biz is shaky or has not resumed work due to a global crises that affected everyone? I'm not saying anybody should carry someone else's burden ( there was really no burden anywhere as God has been faithful.) but I don't understand what actually played out there and why he's all of a sudden interested again after learning I've resumed work. I don't just understand because I don't want to be rude. Was that a right thing?

I'm really confused here because.. I mean.. I never asked you to help me with anything but being there would have been enough. Calling and chatting would have helped me scale through the bordom I felt that period of compulsory break from work and biz but he went into Oblivion even when I never placed any demands on him.

I bow to men and the way they reason o.

all those while he was asking you if u HV eaten and u said no, did u also ask if he had eaten too??