lefulefu:
aghaaa! u remember the story
dude was searching her apartment when she went to work
aghh some ppl have mind oo
allowing a total stranger u met on nairaland to come stay at ur place and u know how mentally unbalanced some ppl are here
very risky i would say

humilitypays:


Many guys now are scared of broke ladies.....many guys are single and financially settled to marry but they don't want to marry any jobless or broke lady who also comes from poor family and still lack humility and respect

CalliDora1:
Long post. Please bear with me.

This trait seems to be common among some Nairaland men (with apologies to all the men here though) cos I never really experienced such attitude with men ive met offline. So don't know whether they have a nairaland men's association (not the red pillars or mgtow kinda thing though) where they agree to behave likesome. The way they reason sometimes just baffles me.

Ok. So, I met someone here as a friend and I wanted it to stay that way. Along the line, he wanted more than just friendship but I just kept dodging because I don't want any issues as he's a good friend (a born again) and I like our friendly chats and all that. So didn't want anything serious that could jeopardize that but he kept pressing on and stressing until I naturally began to feel relaxed (against my wish) you know how that constant checking on someone tends to make one want to compromise their Stance. So I sort of got trapped.

Now here's the issue. He would always want to know about my biz and job. If I went or not. So I decided to test him. He would always call and ask if I've eaten. So that day, I said no (was fasting) but didn't want to divulge it to him that I was fasting. He called later in the day and asked again, I said I've not eaten, he dropped. I now felt he prolly thought I wanted him to feed me huh??.. I observed he reduced his calls. Third day he called and asked again, I said no. And he said "na wa o" I was like why, he said I'm sorry I can't help. Huh?? I don't remember asking him so I decided to play along. He called in the evening, I still said I've not eaten ( cos I had not broken my fast then) and he said I'm sorry ( I was just laughing within). I asked him, for what? he said because he couldn't help. And since then he stopped calling only to chat after a week to ask if the biz I was pursuing was through. I ignored him and for two months no contact.

Just last night he chatted me up again asking if I've resumed work and I said yes. he then asked if he's free to call me bla bla. And since last night hes been trying to keep up chats but I'm kinda cold towards him and he asked why I'm so cold. Acting like nothing happened.

Now, this is what I feel. so if someone is truly dying of hunger (God forbid) you'll abandon the fellow? or that they can't date someone who's biz is shaky or has not resumed work due to a global crises that affected everyone? I'm not saying anybody should carry someone else's burden ( there was really no burden anywhere as God has been faithful.) but I don't understand what actually played out there and why he's all of a sudden interested again after learning I've resumed work. I don't just understand because I don't want to be rude. Was that a right thing?

I'm really confused here because.. I mean.. I never asked you to help me with anything but being there would have been enough. Calling and chatting would have helped me scale through the bordom I felt that period of compulsory break from work and biz but he went into Oblivion even when I never placed any demands on him.

I bow to men and the way they reason o.

pocohantas:
You are overthinking things.

How can you keep saying you haven’t eaten for 3days without any explanation? Haba! Don’t you know that is Naija babes intro to ask for urgent 2k?

The guy is not psychic to know you were fasting. Whenever I tell a man I haven’t eaten, I always make sure I add the reason (e.g) Busy day, I am trying to watch my intake/weight...etc.

While it wasn’t so nice of him to disappear, we should remember that building relationships is hard in Nigeria because we suspect ourselves too much. Imagine if he kept telling you he is lonely.

It is okay if you want to block him, I just want you to know you are not entirely blameless. It takes time and trust to unlock certain aspects of a friendship...

CalliDora1:


Don't mind him. He thinks he can shame me. He's here running his mouth tap but he has almost drained my battery with calls.

Dafe, michdaf, I'm done. Please let me be. Or did you think I would be sitting like a puppet waiting for you to come back?

Michdaf:
Calli, am really disappointed with this. At least you should have told me than bring it here. It shows why you keep having issue in nl. You lied to me and I was busy beating myself up that I could not help. You suppose to be mature than this. That means my spirit was right to have withdrew then.

Michdaf:
Calli, good morning.

CalliDora1:


It's good you withdrew. Just keep withdrawing like that abeg.

Who lied to you? I said I had not eaten and that's because I was fasting; yes even though I didn't explain that to you it doesn't mean I lied.

I wonder why you keep going on about the issue I had on here. It's not really an issue as you're making it seem. It's just the usual bashings that go on here which everyone has had a fair share of. So, stop saying I had issues on nairaland like I snatched someones hubby or scammed them.

I Know you're not happy I brought this here and you're doing everything to paint me bad, its ok. But try and be diplomatic about it.

Stop with the calls already cos I'm never going to pick as I just saw another of your comment now that is driving me crazy after taking my time now to go through the comments and I can see you've said so many things you ought not to say.

I'm still searching for more so I can finally draw my conclusions and decide our fate.

Just don't drain my battery today again. I beg you.

CalliDora1:


Good morning, Brother Dafe. Have a blessed day ahead.

NOwazobia:
you are sorry but the post is still standing? Wipe that post and i will in turn edit where i quoted it. That should be the first call to restitution. Quote me after you have done it. Cheers!

CalliDora1:


It's good you withdrew. Just keep withdrawing like that abeg.

Who lied to you? I said I had not eaten and that's because I was fasting; yes even though I didn't explain that to you it doesn't mean I lied.

I wonder why you keep going on about the issue I had on here. It's not really an issue as you're making it seem. It's just the usual bashings that go on here which everyone has had a fair share of. So, stop saying I had issues on nairaland like I snatched someones hubby or scammed them.

I Know you're not happy I brought this here and you're doing everything to paint me bad, its ok. But try and be diplomatic about it.

Stop with the calls already cos I'm never going to pick as I just saw another of your comment now that is driving me crazy after taking my time now to go through the comments and I can see you've said so many things you ought not to say.

I'm still searching for more so I can finally draw my conclusions and decide our fate.

Just don't drain my battery today again. I beg you.

Michdaf:
So is now a brother and sister things. You know who I am. though I said something that I regretted yesterday, but you know that's not me.

CalliDora1:
Long post. Please bear with me.

This trait seems to be common among some Nairaland men (with apologies to all the men here though) cos I never really experienced such attitude with men ive met offline. So don't know whether they have a nairaland men's association (not the red pillars or mgtow kinda thing though) where they agree to behave likesome. The way they reason sometimes just baffles me.

Ok. So, I met someone here as a friend and I wanted it to stay that way. Along the line, he wanted more than just friendship but I just kept dodging because I don't want any issues as he's a good friend (a born again) and I like our friendly chats and all that. So didn't want anything serious that could jeopardize that but he kept pressing on and stressing until I naturally began to feel relaxed (against my wish) you know how that constant checking on someone tends to make one want to compromise their Stance. So I sort of got trapped.

Now here's the issue. He would always want to know about my biz and job. If I went or not. So I decided to test him. He would always call and ask if I've eaten. So that day, I said no (was fasting) but didn't want to divulge it to him that I was fasting. He called later in the day and asked again, I said I've not eaten, he dropped. I now felt he prolly thought I wanted him to feed me huh??.. I observed he reduced his calls. Third day he called and asked again, I said no. And he said "na wa o" I was like why, he said I'm sorry I can't help. Huh?? I don't remember asking him so I decided to play along. He called in the evening, I still said I've not eaten ( cos I had not broken my fast then) and he said I'm sorry ( I was just laughing within). I asked him, for what? he said because he couldn't help. And since then he stopped calling only to chat after a week to ask if the biz I was pursuing was through. I ignored him and for two months no contact.

Just last night he chatted me up again asking if I've resumed work and I said yes. he then asked if he's free to call me bla bla. And since last night hes been trying to keep up chats but I'm kinda cold towards him and he asked why I'm so cold. Acting like nothing happened.

Now, this is what I feel. so if someone is truly dying of hunger (God forbid) you'll abandon the fellow? or that they can't date someone who's biz is shaky or has not resumed work due to a global crises that affected everyone? I'm not saying anybody should carry someone else's burden ( there was really no burden anywhere as God has been faithful.) but I don't understand what actually played out there and why he's all of a sudden interested again after learning I've resumed work. I don't just understand because I don't want to be rude. Was that a right thing?

I'm really confused here because.. I mean.. I never asked you to help me with anything but being there would have been enough. Calling and chatting would have helped me scale through the bordom I felt that period of compulsory break from work and biz but he went into Oblivion even when I never placed any demands on him.

I bow to men and the way they reason o.

Chiquitq:
He is not an all weather friend but kindly note that telling someone that you've not eaten more than once also sends wrong signals. Except it is obvious that you are too busy to eat. Forget about this guy, he doesn't mean well at all. If you really lost your job and you were good friends, he might have offered a token to cushion the effect but then again, some girls would turn such nice gesture into an opportunity to take a man for granted and milk him. Just forget about this guy.

gbemishile:
To the guy-stop asking if the girl has eaten.its a question that girls ask and not boys..don't be a pvssy
Thmo the girl,why u dey 'test' am? Does he look like a tester

Chiquitq:
He is not an all weather friend but kindly note that telling someone that you've not eaten more than once also sends wrong signals. Except it is obvious that you are too busy to eat. Forget about this guy, he doesn't mean well at all. If you really lost your job and you were good friends, he might have offered a token to cushion the effect but then again, some girls would turn such nice gesture into an opportunity to take a man for granted and milk him. Just forget about this guy.

NOwazobia:
You are not serious you this boy. That girl better be wise as you cannot be trusted. You deleted it indeed.

CalliDora1:


Yes. It's better for things to remain at brother and sister level so everyone can have peace of mind. Don't push further please.

Michdaf:
Even at that level, we can still communicate. so pick my calls

Evolutionlove:


Infact I think Only fools ask this lame and stupid question all the time. I don't even see any sense In someone asking me If I have eaten. Although I could ask once In a while "I trust you had a nice breakfast, dinner" Not "Have you eaten" Sounds foolish and childish to me. Like Is food the person problem/highest priority. There are sensible things to be asked and discussed In relationships than asking stupvd questions. Very boring and unromantic people. Well In other words, Here Is "Poverty Capital Of The World"

CalliDora1:


I don't have the strength for now. I'm weak.