Good day fellows, i know this damsel since we were little, i admired her since then. When i was 10, they moved from us and I've not seen her for over 13yrs until last year.

When we met again, the feeling of affection grew even bigger. This lady posses every meek trait i like in a woman. High IQ, crypt understanding, lovely and most of all purpose driven.

We've just started dating two months back, but lately, I've realised that at this stage of my life, it's a building process with no room for "love". Thanks to God, everything is working in my favour, but i have to let her go to finish my building process.

The question is, how do i break up with her ? I've made up my mind to do so either way, but i'll love to hear a soft landing.

Cc: RoyalRoy

Please advocate this to front page
Thank you

Just tell her straight up you won't have time for an affair again.Hopt you won't miss out on a good one though.

thorpido:
Just tell her straight up you won't have time for an affair again.Hopt you won't miss out on a good one though.

That's the difficult thing and the risk also. She's the real deal.

premium tears loading.

ahnie:
premium tears loading.

Maybe your suggestion might stop that.

Just tell her she's okay but you have a problem finish

Every Nigerian lady understands that sentence

Olude193:
Just tell her she's okay but you have a problem finish

Every Nigerian lady understands that sentence

something like that

Hannania:
Good day fellows, i know this damsel since we were little, i admired her since then. When i was 10, they moved from us and I've not seen her for over 13yrs until last year.

When we met again, the feeling of affection grew even bigger. This lady posses every meek trait i like in a woman. High IQ, crypt understanding, lovely and most of all purpose driven.

We've just started dating two months back, but lately, I've realised that at this stage of my life, it's a building process with no room for "love". Thanks to God, everything is working in my favour, but i have to let her go to finish my building process.

The question is, how do i break up with her ? I've made up my mind to do so either way, but i'll love to hear a soft landing.

Cc: RoyalRoy

Please advocate this to front page
Thank you

If you are sure she is the "real deal" . Here is what you should consider :

In life some of us get lucky and what we want, or should I say what is good for us comes to us on a platter, without stress.
Some people have to toil hard to get this same gift we get almost without stress, do you know what they would give and the sacrifices they would make just to have what you have ? .

Again, if you are sure she is the "real deal" in all ramifications, including spiritually. I urge you to find a way to simultaneously build yourself, while you build your relationship with her. The good girls wey remain for this life, dem be like 20 wey remain and I don marry one, remain 19 .

Seriously, one of the things I have learnt in life and has always helped me is, never give up something good just because you are pursuing something that is equally important. When it comes to a life partner, don't cling to the statement "there are many fishes in the ocean".

Yes, there are many fishes, but how many of them are good enough ?

This doesn't just applies to females alone, the number of good husband materials are also on a steady decline. Everybody is getting "woke" nowadays .

You are now a man (I believe), this may be the best or worst decision of your life.
Many people focus so much on building themselves financially (especially men), and they don't pay enough attention to the kind of partners they keep.

Your future partner would greatly determine your altitude in life, whether you are male or female.
Take a look at the most successful people in life, most of them have partners that played a huge role in their success.

If you hustle and turn a billionaire and marry the wrong wife, you can lose everything within a year.

AM I saying you should not build yourself ? NO !!

What I am saying is, money makes love/marriage sweeter when you have a good spouse to enjoy it with.

Lightning hardly strikes the same place twice.

If she is the real deal, find a balance. See keeping a good woman also as "building yourself"

Donald3d:



If you are sure she is the "real deal" . Here is what you should consider :

In life some of us get lucky and what we want, or should I say what is good for us comes to us on a platter, without stress.
Some people have to toil hard to get this same gift we get almost without stress, do you know what they would give and the sacrifices they would make just to have what you have ? .

Again, if you are sure she is the "real deal" in all ramifications, including spiritually. I urge you to find a way to simultaneously build yourself, while you build your relationship with her. The good girls wey remain for this life, dem be like 20 wey remain and I don marry one, remain 19 .

Seriously, one of the things I have learnt in life and has always helped me is, never give up something good just because you are pursuing something that is equally important. When it comes to a life partner, don't cling to the statement "there are many fishes in the ocean".

Yes, there are many fishes, but how many of them are good enough ?

This doesn't just applies to females alone, the number of good husband materials are also on a steady decline. Everybody is getting "woke" nowadays .

You are now a man (I believe), this may be the best or worst decision of your life.
Many people focus so much on building themselves financially (especially men), and they don't pay enough attention to the kind of partners they keep.

Your future partner would greatly determine your altitude in life, whether you are male or female.
Take a look at the most successful people in life, most of them have partners that played a huge role in their success.

If you hustle and turn a billionaire and marry the wrong wife, you can lose everything within a year.

AM I saying you should not build yourself ? NO !!

What I am saying is, money makes love/marriage sweeter when you have a good spouse to enjoy it with.

Lightning hardly strikes the same place twice.

If she is the real deal, find a balance. See keeping a good woman also as "building yourself"

Wow, thanks for the advice sir. You're right, she's the real deal in all ramifications, even spiritually. All our life ethics just move in synergy, but i can't give the time and attention needed for the relationship to flow. That's the difficult part

Hannania:
Good day fellows, i know this damsel since we were little, i admired her since then. When i was 10, they moved from us and I've not seen her for over 13yrs until last year.

When we met again, the feeling of affection grew even bigger. This lady posses every meek trait i like in a woman. High IQ, crypt understanding, lovely and most of all purpose driven.

We've just started dating two months back, but lately, I've realised that at this stage of my life, it's a building process with no room for "love". Thanks to God, everything is working in my favour, but i have to let her go to finish my building process.

The question is, how do i break up with her ? I've made up my mind to do so either way, but i'll love to hear a soft landing.

Cc: RoyalRoy

Please advocate this to front page
Thank you

You wouldn't have just started an affair you longed for and just 2 months you want to break up

Anyway, she is not holding you down

Just let her know that you want to stay away from relationships

But bear in mind if you pull out and hook up with another lady, then you are not telling yourself the truth

Hannania:
Wow, thanks for the advice sir. You're right, she's the real deal in all ramifications, even spiritually. All our life ethics just move in synergy, but i can't give the time and attention needed for the relationship to flow. That's the difficult part

The truth is, you would never have time for a relationship to work, especially if you are headed somewhere in life. You just have to make time .
Something would always take your time, you just have to make sacrifices.

The truth is, as you climb the financial/business ladder, you would have less time for yourself and loved ones, you just have to create time.

Plan yourself well, its doable.

Set a time for seeing her, calling her and texting her, its doable.

If something is important, its not hard to create time.
So your first assignment, is understanding her importance or value, the rest would follow.
If you don't understand WHY you should do it, it won't be easy.

frozen70:


You wouldn't have just started an affair you longed for and just 2 months you want to break up

Anyway, she is not holding you down

Just let her know that you want to stay away from relationships

But bear in mind if you pull out and hook up with another lady, then you are not telling yourself the truth

IF i want to go into it again, i pray heaven let it be that she' s free, and she'd be the first i approach again. I'm purpose driven, she's my first love. I didn't date in my teenage because it was just a"'lust" period.
I thought i should hold her now, so i don't lose her, but i was wrong. I need to build more

Donald3d:


The truth is, you would never have time for a relationship to work, especially if you are headed somewhere in life. You just have to make time .
Something would always take your time, you just have to make sacrifices.

The truth is, as you climb the financial/business ladder, you would have less time for yourself and loved ones, you just have to create time.

Plan yourself well, its doable.

Set a time for seeing her, calling her and texting her, its doable.

If something is important, its not hard to create time.
So your first assignment, is understanding her importance or value, the rest would follow.
If you don't understand WHY you should do it, it won't be easy.

You ain't making it easy for me sir. i really appreciate your response, but i'll have to take a risk of loosing her.

Hannania:
You ain't making it easy for me sir. i really appreciate your response, but i'll have to take a risk of loosing her.

Life isn't easy.

As a man one quality you should have and not joke with is foresight and the ability to think fast, and make decisions that not only positively affect your present, but also your future.

The decision is solely yours, only you would either enjoy the benefits or suffer the consequences.
Not trying to force anything on you, you asked for counsel, and I just told you what I believe is good counsel.

If you are still confused, and you're a Christian, ask God for guidance and direction, He would never lead you astray.

Donald3d:

Life isn't easy.

As a man one quality you should have and not joke with is foresight and the ability to think fast, and make decisions that not only positively affect your present, but also your future.

The decision is solely yours, only you would either enjoy the benefits or suffer the consequences.
Not trying to force anything on you, you asked for counsel, and I just told you what I believe is good counsel.

If you are still confused, and you're a Christian, ask God for guidance and direction, He would never lead you astray.

Thank you

Donald3d:



If you are sure she is the "real deal" . Here is what you should consider :

In life some of us get lucky and what we want, or should I say what is good for us comes to us on a platter, without stress.
Some people have to toil hard to get this same gift we get almost without stress, do you know what they would give and the sacrifices they would make just to have what you have ? .

Again, if you are sure she is the "real deal" in all ramifications, including spiritually. I urge you to find a way to simultaneously build yourself, while you build your relationship with her. The good girls wey remain for this life, dem be like 20 wey remain and I don marry one, remain 19 .

Seriously, one of the things I have learnt in life and has always helped me is, never give up something good just because you are pursuing something that is equally important. When it comes to a life partner, don't cling to the statement "there are many fishes in the ocean".

Yes, there are many fishes, but how many of them are good enough ?

This doesn't just applies to females alone, the number of good husband materials are also on a steady decline. Everybody is getting "woke" nowadays .

You are now a man (I believe), this may be the best or worst decision of your life.
Many people focus so much on building themselves financially (especially men), and they don't pay enough attention to the kind of partners they keep.

Your future partner would greatly determine your altitude in life, whether you are male or female.
Take a look at the most successful people in life, most of them have partners that played a huge role in their success.

If you hustle and turn a billionaire and marry the wrong wife, you can lose everything within a year.

AM I saying you should not build yourself ? NO !!

What I am saying is, money makes love/marriage sweeter when you have a good spouse to enjoy it with.

Lightning hardly strikes the same place twice.

If she is the real deal, find a balance. See keeping a good woman also as "building yourself"

U just broke a bone in me. Kudos.

Donald3d:



If you are sure she is the "real deal" . Here is what you should consider :

In life some of us get lucky and what we want, or should I say what is good for us comes to us on a platter, without stress.
Some people have to toil hard to get this same gift we get almost without stress, do you know what they would give and the sacrifices they would make just to have what you have ? .

Again, if you are sure she is the "real deal" in all ramifications, including spiritually. I urge you to find a way to simultaneously build yourself, while you build your relationship with her. The good girls wey remain for this life, dem be like 20 wey remain and I don marry one, remain 19 .

Seriously, one of the things I have learnt in life and has always helped me is, never give up something good just because you are pursuing something that is equally important. When it comes to a life partner, don't cling to the statement "there are many fishes in the ocean".

Yes, there are many fishes, but how many of them are good enough ?

This doesn't just applies to females alone, the number of good husband materials are also on a steady decline. Everybody is getting "woke" nowadays .

You are now a man (I believe), this may be the best or worst decision of your life.
Many people focus so much on building themselves financially (especially men), and they don't pay enough attention to the kind of partners they keep.

Your future partner would greatly determine your altitude in life, whether you are male or female.
Take a look at the most successful people in life, most of them have partners that played a huge role in their success.

If you hustle and turn a billionaire and marry the wrong wife, you can lose everything within a year.

AM I saying you should not build yourself ? NO !!

What I am saying is, money makes love/marriage sweeter when you have a good spouse to enjoy it with.

Lightning hardly strikes the same place twice.

If she is the real deal, find a balance. See keeping a good woman also as "building yourself"

I'm just...in awe.
It's the bolded for me!

Op, look no further. Answers to your doubts are in this post.

Donald3d:


The truth is, you would never have time for a relationship to work, especially if you are headed somewhere in life. You just have to make time .
Something would always take your time, you just have to make sacrifices.

The truth is, as you climb the financial/business ladder, you would have less time for yourself and loved ones, you just have to create time.

Plan yourself well, its doable.

Set a time for seeing her, calling her and texting her, its doable.

If something is important, its not hard to create time.
So your first assignment, is understanding her importance or value, the rest would follow.
If you don't understand WHY you should do it, it won't be easy.

The wise learn from the experienced.

Hannania:
IF i want to go into it again, i pray heaven let it be that she' s free, and she'd be the first i approach again. I'm purpose driven, she's my first love. I didn't date in my teenage because it was just a"'lust" period.
I thought i should hold her now, so i don't lose her, but i was wrong. I need to build more

If you break her heart by letting her go, coming back (that is if she's free and let's you back in) it will never be the same again. Just know that.
For females, emotional assurance/security is the best thing those we love can give.

SHE WILL NOT ALWAYS LOVE YOU.
A nairalander once shared a similar story of letting go of his love, and then wanting her back again, which by then, was almost impossible.

mariahAngel:


If you break her heart by letting her go, coming back (that is if she's free and let's you back in) it will never be the same again. Just know that.
For females, emotional assurance/security is the best thing those we love can give.

SHE WILL NOT ALWAYS LOVE YOU.
A nairalander once shared a similar story of letting go of his love, and then wanting her back again, which by then, was almost impossible.

Then i guess my heart would be ready for the risk at hand. I just have to do this

:premium tears loading. Maybe your suggestion might stop that.

U see better lady, u are asking yeye questions..

If she's all u want, and u are sensible enough, u can always strike a balance.

Side note: better girls nor plenty again o.
U better hold her strong.

Uyi168:
U see better lady, u are asking yeye questions..

If she's all u want, and u are sensible enough, u can always strike a balance.

Side note: better girls nor plenty again o.
U better hold her strong.

thanks for your input

Sit her down and explain your reasons to her and tell her you don't want to pin her down for any reason.
Refer her to this video�

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VRlazUVaHjM

Listen to @Donald3d, he has given all the advice needed. There's a high chance you'll be unable to meet someone like her again.

linnyx:
Listen to @Donald3d, he has given all the advice needed. There's a high chance you'll be unable to meet someone like her again.

Thank you

When you know what you want in life and go for it. In the process, you will meet people better than hervwho will love you more.

The fact is you are not ready now. If someone else seriously asks for her hand in marriage,she will consider the person. Is it not better you give away what you cannot own now Rather than watch it slip your hand.
.https://tobechispeaks./2020/11/16/relate-dont-marry/

There are many stars in the sky, but only one can make your dreams come true....let her be a part of the future you are building, bring her with you on your journey.

tobechi74:
When you know what you want in life and go for it. In the process, you will meet people better than hervwho will love you more.

The fact is you are not ready now. If someone else seriously asks for her hand in marriage,she will consider the person. Is it not better you give away what you cannot own now Rather than watch it slip your hand.
.https://tobechispeaks./2020/11/16/relate-dont-marry/

your're right.

Hannania:
Wow, thanks for the advice sir. You're right, she's the real deal in all ramifications, even spiritually. All our life ethics just move in synergy, but i can't give the time and attention needed for the relationship to flow. That's the difficult part

Make her understand and since she is the real deal, she would understand. One thing I learnt which helped me and my wife was that our relationship and future is as important as our individual lives. So we strive not to let one affect the other. You can always find the right equilibrium since you feel she's the right one. There will always be the individual ambition/drive that need be pursued no matter when you choose to enter into a relationship.

Hannania:
You ain't making it easy for me sir. i really appreciate your response, but i'll have to take a risk of loosing her.

What is said isn't so difficult. One thing you can do is to create a time that works for the both of you and be dedicated to it. Love and care isn't in the length of time spent but the quality. 15 to 20 minutes every evening to call and check on each other shouldn't be too much to spare and it need not be a formal meeting. Some days, it could even be in between meals provided you both are free.

One thing though, you are sounding as though relationship is choking one another and if that is your ideal, you need revisit it.

This guy clearly wants out ,he sounds like he is being stifled so he should let the babe down kindly so she can move on with her life.

All this pressure to remain where he doesn't want to will only cause him to be resentful and he will always feel she is holding him back and will keep thinking 'what if'.

If you're tied down to a person,there are places you won't go because of your partner,you cannot do things spontaneously without checking in ,giving 10 minutes of your day will never be enough and you know it. Better to get this out if your system now while still young.



Both of you are good people but that doesn't mean you must be together. Yes,she will be very hurt because you say the relationship is fantastic and she did nothing wrong , but she will get over you.

If she's as wonderful as you say,she will find someone who wants her wholeheartedly,while you use this your time of freedom to build your dreams.

You are doing her a great favour no matter how hard it seems to be now.

Kill all thoughts of going back to her though,she probably won't ever forgive you

Good luck.