Mynd44:
It is her wedding and her choice. I know you might feel a bit skirmish about it but it is still her choice.

And how is this an "Igbo tradition" to marry at home? I think the tradition is the marriage itself, the travelling home for it is the culture (I stand corrected). Anywhere you live and you are welcome is where your home lies.

If your worry is about who attends, invite those people over.

But still talk to her and try to find a middle point, make compromise which might include, an introduction in the village before the wedding while it might not be the actual event but she and her husband visits to meet everyone. This can also be agreed on after the wedding.

I have Igbo friends whose traditional marriage was done in Lagos because they felt the logistics was off. Some felt their friends, bosses, mentors, colleagues who they feel are more impactful in their lives than some of the family members they have not seen or even met might not be able to share in their special day especially if the "elders" who will attend even in the village are few and can be convince to travel to the city if they insist.

Anyways, let us know how this goes and remember, it is her wedding and while you want what is best overall, she is an adult and able to make her decisions. Make compromise and listen too her arguments well.

mrblessed:
It is not normal. Such practice is anti-Igbo culture and shouldn't be condoned. Traditional marriage should rightly take place at the village of the girl, because it has huge relevance to the family, kindred, village, and community/town. Do you mean that the Ancestors won't be informed that their daughter is tying the knot? Their participation in the process is very necessary.

Most people today seem confused because religion/Christianity has displaced culture from its prime position in marital issues. Part of the problem is that we are trying to become Europeans, a wild goose chase we can never achieve. If marriage is cultural, and yes, it is, why celebrate traditional marriage in a place that has zero cultural relevance and significance?

bencarson007:
Let's stop all this bickering... Let them choose a venue and you Gus support... Case closed. If she was abroad nko.... Abeg let her have her way joor

Sebastine1994:
I brought this issue to nairaland to straighten out some things, as the first son of the family, I am under immense pressure to defend the tradition of igbo.

my sister wants her Traditional Wedding to happen in the City, I have never seen a city traditional marriage, it sound abnormal to the ear, it seems I am the only stumbling block to this marriage. white wedding can happen in the city but not traditional abi?

truth is that most of our families reside in the city, they grew up in the city, and the cost of logistics is their excuse. please is it right that I should allow this to happen?

Lalasticlala,. Seun, Dominique, mynd44

Anaerobi:

you have point. but in igbo culture, traditional marriage is to be done in the girls village... because that is where her parents came from... it have many reasons behind it. or else they are tactically withdrawing from their root or trying to reject their own people.... in as much as the world is civlizing, civilization shouldn't after us in everything we do.

mrblessed:
It is not normal. Such practice is anti-Igbo culture and shouldn't be condoned. Traditional marriage should rightly take place at the village of the girl, because it has huge relevance to the family, kindred, village, and community/town. Do you mean that the Ancestors won't be informed that their daughter is tying the knot? Their participation in the process is very necessary.

Most people today seemed confused because religion/Christianity has displaced culture from its prime position in marital issues. If marriage is cultural, why celebrate traditional marriage in a place that has zero cultural relevance and significance?

Mynd44:

Traditional marriages are done in the house/home of the bride. House/home does not necessarily have to be in the village.

This is the definition that causes wahala.

Mynd44:
It is her wedding and her choice. I know you might feel a bit skirmish about it but it is still her choice.

And how is this an "Igbo tradition" to marry at home? I think the tradition is the marriage itself, the travelling home for it is the culture (I stand corrected). Anywhere you live and you are welcome is where your home lies.

If your worry is about who attends, invite those people over.

But still talk to her and try to find a middle point, make compromise which might include, an introduction in the village before the wedding while it might not be the actual event but she and her husband visits to meet everyone. This can also be agreed on after the wedding.

I have Igbo friends whose traditional marriage was done in Lagos because they felt the logistics was off. Some felt their friends, bosses, mentors, colleagues who they feel are more impactful in their lives than some of the family members they have not seen or even met might not be able to share in their special day especially if the "elders" who will attend even in the village are few and can be convince to travel to the city if they insist.

Anyways, let us know how this goes and remember, it is her wedding and while you want what is best overall, she is an adult and able to make her decisions. Make compromise and listen too her arguments well.

chinavs9ja:
Pray to God for direction. Don't come on nairaland to seek opinions from people who doesn't know your sister.

Anaerobi:

it's true.... you are right.
but the city stuff.... sounds somehow.

nomenclature:
Prayer warrior, can't you use your brain to think of a solution instead of praying ? Religious buffon

Sebastine1994:
I brought this issue to nairaland to straighten out some things, as the first son of the family, I am under immense pressure to defend the tradition of igbo.

my sister wants her Traditional Wedding to happen in the City, I have never seen a city traditional marriage, it sound abnormal to the ear, it seems I am the only stumbling block to this marriage. white wedding can happen in the city but not traditional abi?

truth is that most of our families reside in the city, they grew up in the city, and the cost of logistics is their excuse. please is it right that I should allow this to happen?

Anaerobi:

you have point. but in igbo culture, traditional marriage is to be done in the girls village... because that is where her parents came from... it have many reasons behind it. or else they are tactically withdrawing from their root or trying to reject their own people.... in as much as the world is civlizing, civilization shouldn't after us in everything we do.

Favourchris:


Is her wedding, is her wedding... then she should give her self to the man why the marriage then.

We keep throwing away our culture like is nothing.

Op listen, this might be the only time ur inlaws will know where ur sister came from.

That is ur root and heritage... it doesn't have to be a big party but the kola nut and bride price should be paid in ur family compound.

See ur in law to be won't give their daughter to marriage any where...

Ur sister might not see any value in it, u have to protect the family respect and ur sister respect.

They need to know u guys came from some where and this is the only time it will happen.

After this they can do their white wedding even in the moon no wahala.

Go home, visit ur umunas, tell the them u don't want it big

Let him come with his close family to ur village and pay the pride price... don't give out ur sister hand in marriage any where.

Bro... the culture is dying ... we need to protect it

Sebastine1994:
I brought this issue to nairaland to straighten out some things, as the first son of the family, I am under immense pressure to defend the tradition of igbo.

my sister wants her Traditional Wedding to happen in the City, I have never seen a city traditional marriage, it sound abnormal to the ear, it seems I am the only stumbling block to this marriage. white wedding can happen in the city but not traditional abi?

truth is that most of our families reside in the city, they grew up in the city, and the cost of logistics is their excuse. please is it right that I should allow this to happen?

starbuck:
Why is she the one dictating where the marriage will hold abi una no get ụmụnna and ụmụadas for the village , is like she wants those women to open her case..

Her husband nkọ, what's his opinion abi he is not Igbo

Ssoil:



I witnessed a traditional wedding close to my dads house, if it’s your parents house I see nothing wrong in wedding in the city, now I’m thinking wedding in Lagos wouldn’t be a bad idea for me too

Kenog4real:



You actually read my mind. We makes things hard for ourselves sometimes.