Sebastine1994:
I brought this issue to nairaland to straighten out some things, as the first son of the family, I am under immense pressure to defend the tradition of igbo.

my sister wants her Traditional Wedding to happen in the City, I have never seen a city traditional marriage, it sound abnormal to the ear, it seems I am the only stumbling block to this marriage. white wedding can happen in the city but not traditional abi?

truth is that most of our families reside in the city, they grew up in the city, and the cost of logistics is their excuse. please is it right that I should allow this to happen?

Amarisco:

Is it the maternal or paternal village of the bride?

Mynd44:

It sounds somehow. This is the only cogent resistance to it.

Mynd44:

Culture is dynamic and never cast in stone as long as Tradition is followed.

You know she can actually give herself away in marriage right?

starbuck:
Why is she the one dictating where the marriage will hold abi una no get ụmụnna and ụmụadas for the village , is like she wants those women to open her case..

Her husband nkọ, what's his opinion abi he is not Igbo

filleSouriante:
If the elders in your family and your kinsmen in the village are fine with it, then let it be

Sebastine1994:
I brought this issue to nairaland to straighten out some things, as the first son of the family, I am under immense pressure to defend the tradition of igbo.

my sister wants her Traditional Wedding to happen in the City, I have never seen a city traditional marriage, it sound abnormal to the ear, it seems I am the only stumbling block to this marriage. white wedding can happen in the city but not traditional abi?

truth is that most of our families reside in the city, they grew up in the city, and the cost of logistics is their excuse. please is it right that I should allow this to happen?

evuna:
Most of those people saying that it's normal are not igbos or some of those woke people. My aunt met her husband in germany but they did their traditional marriage in the village. someone stood for them. I have watched some British events and they always praise their tradition.


Don't let anyone deceive you, stand your ground. Not everyone should go home. Besides, colleagues can attend the white wedding in the city.


I am sorry to as, which state are you from. Enugu or anambra person will never conceive such. Marriage is not between two people in igboland. it is between two communities. That's why we value the concept of "ogo".


Once allowed, always allowed. Except your sister isn't getting married to an igbo person. Think about when her children atttends a kindred meeting, someone will remind him that her mother wasn't properly married. No matter how polished you are, respect traditional institution unless it goes against your Faith.


People even travel from abroad to do igba nkwu in igboland, let alone those in Nigeria. Go to the North, they respect their tradition, same with the south West, but they are here telling you that it doesn't matter. Can your sister's children sit in an igbo gathering, that issue will come up.


what about August meetings, can your sister fully participate? She is very young and might feel she doesn't need village people but time will tell. Those highly read people in my community finally succumbed and are even spreading traditional views.


You are the Okpara, if you allow it. You have not done well. Act like an Okpara.

Mynd44:
It is her wedding and her choice. I know you might feel a bit skirmish about it but it is still her choice.

And how is this an "Igbo tradition" to marry at home? I think the tradition is the marriage itself, the travelling home for it is the culture (I stand corrected). Anywhere you live and you are welcome is where your home lies.

If your worry is about who attends, invite those people over.

But still talk to her and try to find a middle point, make compromise which might include, an introduction in the village before the wedding while it might not be the actual event but she and her husband visits to meet everyone. This can also be agreed on after the wedding.

I have Igbo friends whose traditional marriage was done in Lagos because they felt the logistics was off. Some felt their friends, bosses, mentors, colleagues who they feel are more impactful in their lives than some of the family members they have not seen or even met might not be able to share in their special day especially if the "elders" who will attend even in the village are few and can be convince to travel to the city if they insist.

Anyways, let us know how this goes and remember, it is her wedding and while you want what is best overall, she is an adult and able to make her decisions. Make compromise and listen too her arguments well.

chinavs9ja:
Pray to God for direction. Don't come on nairaland to seek opinions from people who doesn't know your sister.

DonFreshmoney:


Babaa, you should have just gone straight to the point.. this epistle isnt neccesstry..

Anaerobi:

you have point. but in igbo culture, traditional marriage is to be done in the girls village... because that is where her parents came from... it have many reasons behind it. or else they are tactically withdrawing from their root or trying to reject their own people.... in as much as the world is civlizing, civilization shouldn't after us in everything we do.

evuna:
Most of those people saying that it's normal are not igbos or some of those woke people. My aunt met her husband in germany but they did their traditional marriage in the village. someone stood for them. I have watched some British events and they always praise their tradition.


Don't let anyone deceive you, stand your ground. Not everyone should go home. Besides, colleagues can attend the white wedding in the city.


I am sorry to as, which state are you from. Enugu or anambra person will never conceive such. Marriage is not between two people in igboland. it is between two communities. That's why we value the concept of "ogo".


Once allowed, always allowed. Except your sister isn't getting married to an igbo person. Think about when her children atttends a kindred meeting, someone will remind him that her mother wasn't properly married. No matter how polished you are, respect traditional institution unless it goes against your Faith.


People even travel from abroad to do igba nkwu in igboland, let alone those in Nigeria. Go to the North, they respect their tradition, same with the south West, but they are here telling you that it doesn't matter. Can your sister's children sit in an igbo gathering, that issue will come up.


what about August meetings, can your sister fully participate? She is very young and might feel she doesn't need village people but time will tell. Those highly read people in my community finally succumbed and are even spreading traditional views.


You are the Okpara, if you allow it. You have not done well. Act like an Okpara.

Mynd44:
It is her wedding and her choice. I know you might feel a bit skirmish about it but it is still her choice.

And how is this an "Igbo tradition" to marry at home? I think the tradition is the marriage itself, the travelling home for it is the culture (I stand corrected). Anywhere you live and you are welcome is where your home lies.

If your worry is about who attends, invite those people over.

But still talk to her and try to find a middle point, make compromise which might include, an introduction in the village before the wedding while it might not be the actual event but she and her husband visits to meet everyone. This can also be agreed on after the wedding.

I have Igbo friends whose traditional marriage was done in Lagos because they felt the logistics was off. Some felt their friends, bosses, mentors, colleagues who they feel are more impactful in their lives than some of the family members they have not seen or even met might not be able to share in their special day especially if the "elders" who will attend even in the village are few and can be convince to travel to the city if they insist.

Anyways, let us know how this goes and remember, it is her wedding and while you want what is best overall, she is an adult and able to make her decisions. Make compromise and listen too her arguments well.

joyandfaith:

What if she wants court marriage ?Will still go to village for any tradition ?

kemmy196:
we tend to neglect our traditional ways nowadays,which is a major problem in our generation,I DNT kwn the Igbo tradition buh if is where I come from I will advise ur sis nt to do outside her ancestral home

Mynd44:
It is her wedding and her choice. I know you might feel a bit skirmish about it but it is still her choice.

And how is this an "Igbo tradition" to marry at home? I think the tradition is the marriage itself, the travelling home for it is the culture (I stand corrected). Anywhere you live and you are welcome is where your home lies.

If your worry is about who attends, invite those people over.

But still talk to her and try to find a middle point, make compromise which might include, an introduction in the village before the wedding while it might not be the actual event but she and her husband visits to meet everyone. This can also be agreed on after the wedding.

I have Igbo friends whose traditional marriage was done in Lagos because they felt the logistics was off. Some felt their friends, bosses, mentors, colleagues who they feel are more impactful in their lives than some of the family members they have not seen or even met might not be able to share in their special day especially if the "elders" who will attend even in the village are few and can be convince to travel to the city if they insist.

Anyways, let us know how this goes and remember, it is her wedding and while you want what is best overall, she is an adult and able to make her decisions. Make compromise and listen too her arguments well.

Sebastine1994:
I brought this issue to nairaland to straighten out some things, as the first son of the family, I am under immense pressure to defend the tradition of igbo.

my sister wants her Traditional Wedding to happen in the City, I have never seen a city traditional marriage, it sound abnormal to the ear, it seems I am the only stumbling block to this marriage. white wedding can happen in the city but not traditional abi?

truth is that most of our families reside in the city, they grew up in the city, and the cost of logistics is their excuse. please is it right that I should allow this to happen?

Anaerobi:

court is English.
tradition is culture.