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Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Family / My Sister Wants Traditional Marriage In The City: Is It Normal? (22034 Views)
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Re: My Sister Wants Traditional Marriage In The City: Is It Normal? by Benoxvals(m): 7:24am On Dec 14, 2020 |
OP by acknowledging that you are the first son shows that your father is late and you have not been to the village for a long time. Coming to a social media platform for a traditional marriage advice shows that you are single and inexperienced and don’t have much stand in making your family decisions. According to our norms and traditionals,bride price certifies marriage in igboland and the trad is to be celebrated with your kinsmen and friends while showing off the new bride.We can it OMENANA for a reason and IT MUST be MEE in your village ANA. Contact an elder in your village to explain the spiritual significance of these traditions to you and why they MIST be carried out in your fathers compound,on your fathers soil. It’s important for one not to forget their root and culture no matter how comfortable you must be in “The city” People are buried in their home soil when they grow old and die even if they spent their whole life in the city(OMENANA). 6 Likes |
Re: My Sister Wants Traditional Marriage In The City: Is It Normal? by Debra911(f): 7:25am On Dec 14, 2020 |
Palema007:Your head dey there. Someone like me I dey avoid my village people. They're destiny spoilers, I can count how many times, I've been to my home town. My trad can't be held in that village, never! |
Re: My Sister Wants Traditional Marriage In The City: Is It Normal? by Anaerobi(m): 7:25am On Dec 14, 2020 |
joyandfaith:Marriage isn't just for the two of them, it's two communities coming together. on a serious note if she tries it, in future someone will mock the children that their mom was not properly married. even the man himself may one day use it against her.... traditional marriage should be in the ladies home town... white wedding can be done anywhere.... court wedding can be done in any court. 3 Likes 1 Share |
Re: My Sister Wants Traditional Marriage In The City: Is It Normal? by Oshokalo: 7:26am On Dec 14, 2020 |
Sebastine1994:anything is possible my broda,since u said everybody who is important in the wedding is here in the city,so why waist money on logistic, |
Re: My Sister Wants Traditional Marriage In The City: Is It Normal? by AuroraB(f): 7:26am On Dec 14, 2020 |
evuna:Don't mind them. Distance didn't stop our in-laws from Sierra Leone to make appearance to pay for my sister's bride price. Nairaland indeed is not a good place to seek meaningful solutions to challenges anymore. 5 Likes |
Re: My Sister Wants Traditional Marriage In The City: Is It Normal? by Prechy08(m): 7:26am On Dec 14, 2020 |
Then she should not call it traditional wedding and not even do it and straight to white wedding. We like copying the wrong things in this part of the world, we can never be like the white, the white wedding is their idea it is their own traditional wedding that is why it's done the way it is, even this days they tend to do strictly family members. Just a few. But for hear we measure by crowd and disturbing someone to buy clothes. Should we even be doing the white wedding? It's just a show off. If you are from the east, oga let her do it at home, but you said your family is in the city, what is your dad stand? As an Igbo you can't even do anything without reaching home. What is her excuses. Though is it because of people she wants to show , to show off or cost but I doubt the cost thing. 3 Likes |
Re: My Sister Wants Traditional Marriage In The City: Is It Normal? by Nobody: 7:27am On Dec 14, 2020 |
What is wrong with it taking place in the city? You people just be making things difficult for us. Are your your parents not here in the city? Afterall she explained it's because of the cost of logistics yet you're hell bent on having it in your villa. All this ome na ala things be causing inconvenience for someone. Abeg allow her. |
Re: My Sister Wants Traditional Marriage In The City: Is It Normal? by NnaGbaharam: 7:28am On Dec 14, 2020 |
It's done in the village, few people can be selected and transported back home and you do it on low key if money is the problem, you owe nobody anything. Don't support it, if not that's what they will be using to remember your people. I never hear this before o. She can go ahead and do it but I think that's wrong, you can't force her but don't support it as the man there. At least your people should know you were against it. 2 Likes |
Re: My Sister Wants Traditional Marriage In The City: Is It Normal? by Anaerobi(m): 7:28am On Dec 14, 2020 |
joyandfaith:sure it can.but the traditional marriage should be done in the ladies home town. compound... a time will come she will understand... 2 Likes |
Re: My Sister Wants Traditional Marriage In The City: Is It Normal? by Realhommie(m): 7:29am On Dec 14, 2020 |
Anaerobi:The only reason it sounds somehow is because it's difficult for you to bring yourself to reality. It is not against tradition to have a traditional wedding in the city, this is the 21st century and one of the positives is migration. People move a lot looking for greener pastures and settle wherever so it's not out of place to have the trad wherever you're settled provided the kindred is well represented. No law states anywhere that if it's not done the other way then this or that will happen. There's really no issue there, we must bring ourselves to understanding and be open to new ideas/change rather than be stagnated over a non issue. My 2 cents. |
Re: My Sister Wants Traditional Marriage In The City: Is It Normal? by Depressed101: 7:29am On Dec 14, 2020 |
Sebastine1994:it's simple logic, you had not to come here. But you came afterall and reiterated the fact that you are the okpara of this house.. Now as the Okpara of the house, I put it to you to propose that you will take care of all logistics both financially and physical organization. Case closed abi |
Re: My Sister Wants Traditional Marriage In The City: Is It Normal? by Orjioorji(f): 7:30am On Dec 14, 2020 |
Mynd44:any where you are is your home but when it come to election they will tell you to go back to your home ndi iru abuo. They can't destroy our tradition. @ op if the hubby is from the same place with her tell him to go home and do the necessary if he is not still tell him that he should come home and do it. It will bring lots of respect to your family among your umunna. Tradition is about bringing your umunna together and believe me you have registered your family name as responsible household. 5 Likes |
Re: My Sister Wants Traditional Marriage In The City: Is It Normal? by joyandfaith: 7:31am On Dec 14, 2020 |
Anaerobi: There is nothing like white marriage, Constitution recognizes 2 marriages- court and tradition. You choose one not both. Culture ittradition is human invention. |
Re: My Sister Wants Traditional Marriage In The City: Is It Normal? by NnaGbaharam: 7:31am On Dec 14, 2020 |
[s] post=97044916:[/s] Zombie, you should not be commenting on every thread that comes our way. 2 Likes |
Re: My Sister Wants Traditional Marriage In The City: Is It Normal? by nams77: 7:31am On Dec 14, 2020 |
Mynd44:I am not sure you are igbo so you might not really understand what you are saying. In igbo land, traditional marriage is done in your ancestral land. Pls underline that word ancestral. He can actually do it in the city but he will be fined heavily for it and he may lose goodwill in his hometown by doing it in the city. This is why people of igbo extraction should try and retain a link wirh homeland. I know its not always easy. He can scale things down to avoid cost. Just few persons should go to the village. 4 Likes |
Re: My Sister Wants Traditional Marriage In The City: Is It Normal? by sunnitus: 7:32am On Dec 14, 2020 |
Brother this topic should have been better and properly asked in Igbo group, most people here especially the yorubas will tell u is normal because it is normal and legalized in their tradition. Totally different from our (Igbo) tradition, pls I will advice you to take it to any Igbo group you belong to, at least there you will get the answer you seek. Ndalu 4 Likes |
Re: My Sister Wants Traditional Marriage In The City: Is It Normal? by joyandfaith: 7:33am On Dec 14, 2020 |
Anaerobi: What if she wants only court marriage, will anybody kill her? |
Re: My Sister Wants Traditional Marriage In The City: Is It Normal? by IkpuMmadu: 7:33am On Dec 14, 2020 |
Sebastine1994: It is very wrong... You sister can't have her way... In igbo land and southern delta Region no decent family does traditional in Lagos Women even bring their oyibo husband to village seff Were your family exiled from village ? Did you guys steal that you are ashamed of your village Did your father commit crime that he is running It is a shame... Am also a first son and I can't take that ... Your sister had been messed up by pastors who told her village people are bad and the stupid husband to be seems to agree Trust me the husband to be is a non igbo or niger Deltan Na dem dey reason like that ... Ndi ala wuo otu And you must be from either imo or Abia ANAMBRA, ENUGU, DELTA , AKWA IBOM , EDO STATE can't even do traditional marriage outside their village It's called traditional marriage for a reason 4 Likes |
Re: My Sister Wants Traditional Marriage In The City: Is It Normal? by Spain007(m): 7:33am On Dec 14, 2020 |
Sebastine1994: Bro.try convince ur in-law and sister to do the traditional marriage in ur home town,I have seen a case where it was done in the city and it wasn't approved in d village,and they had to repeat it by cash amounting to double expenses . Ur Father or uncle shld guide you well in the aspect. Good luck 4 Likes |
Re: My Sister Wants Traditional Marriage In The City: Is It Normal? by Depressed101: 7:33am On Dec 14, 2020 |
vibbb:Abi.. Na just culture to do it in the village not tradition. Afterall they do tradition in the abroad |
Re: My Sister Wants Traditional Marriage In The City: Is It Normal? by nams77: 7:34am On Dec 14, 2020 |
sunnitus:Beautiful response. There are some on Facebook. Igboville and a host of them. Join these groups and ask and you will get your answers op@sebastian1994 1 Like |
Re: My Sister Wants Traditional Marriage In The City: Is It Normal? by frozen70(f): 7:34am On Dec 14, 2020 |
Sebastine1994: If truly you are an Igbo man, and you know the tradition and customs that will not have an effect on your family including her Let them know countless times that it has to be done in the village If they insist on having it in the city then, let her transport the Umunna and umuada, the ones they feel are more important to be present and transport them to lagos, give them accommodation, then prepare food for them to take to the villagers as they go back |
Re: My Sister Wants Traditional Marriage In The City: Is It Normal? by IkpuMmadu: 7:34am On Dec 14, 2020 |
joyandfaith: Then let her have it ... In igbo land you are not properly married if you haven't done your traditional wedding 2 Likes |
Re: My Sister Wants Traditional Marriage In The City: Is It Normal? by filleSouriante(f): 7:34am On Dec 14, 2020 |
Chudivictor: I know but to avoid village people wahala, it's better they are fine with it o with or without sending their food across. 'Cos u never can tell what will annoy these people. It's better to avoid stories that touch later in their marriage o |
Re: My Sister Wants Traditional Marriage In The City: Is It Normal? by Anaerobi(m): 7:35am On Dec 14, 2020 |
Realhommie:Let's call a spare a spade. In Igbo Tradition, traditional marriage is meant to be in the ladies home town. tell me the law that states that chrsiatins should go to church on Sunday, rather the Bible says remember the Sabbath day and keep it Holy. so if u are true igbo that knows tradition, do the right thing.... if you are not, u won't understand... u have ur own tradition and u won't like to bend towards it. respect others own too. 3 Likes |
Re: My Sister Wants Traditional Marriage In The City: Is It Normal? by Realhommie(m): 7:35am On Dec 14, 2020 |
Depressed101:Watch him bolt ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() The guy man just dey form tradition, lol. Who made it an abomination? Abi him no know wetin go involve in terms of logistics and other things? No be beans.. Some people too don't like the stress, it's that simple. I don't like it when an adult can't bring himself/herself to reason. Now he wants to be a stumbling block to his sister's trad because he's the first son. Please what role has the first son got to play in it? Is it your own wedding? 2 Likes |
Re: My Sister Wants Traditional Marriage In The City: Is It Normal? by LordIsaac(m): 7:35am On Dec 14, 2020 |
Oh... Africa! |
Re: My Sister Wants Traditional Marriage In The City: Is It Normal? by Anaerobi(m): 7:36am On Dec 14, 2020 |
joyandfaith:fine and good... it's court wedding... okay. can court marriage be done in the beer parlour or in the stadium? such is traditional marriage. 2 Likes |
Re: My Sister Wants Traditional Marriage In The City: Is It Normal? by IkpuMmadu: 7:37am On Dec 14, 2020 |
Realhommie: Ndi ala wuo otu 2 Likes |
Re: My Sister Wants Traditional Marriage In The City: Is It Normal? by joyandfaith: 7:37am On Dec 14, 2020 |
IkpuMmadu:It is not true if you have done your court marriage. Nigeria Constitution and marriage act provide more information . |
Re: My Sister Wants Traditional Marriage In The City: Is It Normal? by NnaGbaharam: 7:37am On Dec 14, 2020 |
Unless your people(Umunna) will follow you to the city. Anyway, what do I know. 1 Like |
Re: My Sister Wants Traditional Marriage In The City: Is It Normal? by IkpuMmadu: 7:39am On Dec 14, 2020 |
joyandfaith:that is Nigeria constitution.. when the chipd are down... And issues keeps coming up that would need your people to come to your aid ... Na constitution go help you Una dey talk anyhow 2 Likes |
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