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Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Family / My Sister Wants Traditional Marriage In The City: Is It Normal? (22193 Views)
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Re: My Sister Wants Traditional Marriage In The City: Is It Normal? by NwaforIgbo: 7:59am On Dec 14, 2020 |
As an individual custodian of the Igbo Culture and a very learned follow in Igbo Culture... I will sat a very big Mbanu!!!! Traditional marriage is very different from the wedding marriage. Why would she not want to take her husband to her father's house? Why will the husband not want to see the people of his bride? In Ala Igbo, Marriage is not just between the bride and the groom, its far from that, it is between the both family, both kindred, both communities...... The problem with our ladies this days is that they want to copy everything, they copy everything to the detriment of our identity and culture.. If she thinks logistics is a problem, why not reduce the number of people that should go with her to just the groom and his families and some few friends. Its strange that an Igbo daughter will be married in a foreign land. Its wrong. If she does not want to do TM, its okay. But she should not bastardize our culture for her personal goals. If I were the chiefs or elders that were supposed to give her out for marriage, I will never attend such event... If the husband cannot come to his bride's village and marry her, they should forget about. Daalu. 4 Likes 1 Share |
Re: My Sister Wants Traditional Marriage In The City: Is It Normal? by Athemisia: 7:59am On Dec 14, 2020 |
evuna:Doing it in the city has nothing to do with bastardizing the culture... As long as the rites are carried out... 2 Likes |
Re: My Sister Wants Traditional Marriage In The City: Is It Normal? by 1x2x3: 8:02am On Dec 14, 2020 |
Realhommie: Where are you from? Do you hold your traditional marriages anywhere? |
Re: My Sister Wants Traditional Marriage In The City: Is It Normal? by frozen70(f): 8:03am On Dec 14, 2020 |
bencarson007: Those abroad has a way of doing it They ask the man's brother at home to represent the man abroad and ask the lady's sister here in Nigeria to represent the sister abroad and it will be done by proxy and those mentioned stands for them Tradition is traditional, give it to them let peace reign 2 Likes |
Re: My Sister Wants Traditional Marriage In The City: Is It Normal? by Liposure: 8:04am On Dec 14, 2020 |
joyandfaith:i've always thought court wedding supercedes all other types of weddings since its backed by law |
Re: My Sister Wants Traditional Marriage In The City: Is It Normal? by Realhommie(m): 8:04am On Dec 14, 2020 |
Anaerobi:True.. But if same can be replicated where they're based in the city with close family and friends and then sending what is due those in the village across what then is the ish? Grandstanding won't do the bride and the intended groom any good. They should reach a middle ground. |
Re: My Sister Wants Traditional Marriage In The City: Is It Normal? by Titugirl(f): 8:04am On Dec 14, 2020 |
filleSouriante:So if they aren't fine by it the wedding would not hold abi |
Re: My Sister Wants Traditional Marriage In The City: Is It Normal? by frozen70(f): 8:05am On Dec 14, 2020 |
Lifeisgoody: Exactly, you have said it all, who knows tomorrow 1 Like |
Re: My Sister Wants Traditional Marriage In The City: Is It Normal? by SeriouslySense(m): 8:05am On Dec 14, 2020 |
Exactly, Life goes on, it evolves, I myself will not advise all the stress, insecurity, bad roads are other factors, to me such is not a big deal, but for others it is a big deal. I read of stories of people dying on the roads, to either attend marriage or funeral, if i were to have a marriage or funeral, i don't expect much crowds, or much stress or worries, its between the partners. Mindlog: 2 Likes |
Re: My Sister Wants Traditional Marriage In The City: Is It Normal? by BafanaBafana: 8:06am On Dec 14, 2020 |
Athemisia:The thing tire me |
Re: My Sister Wants Traditional Marriage In The City: Is It Normal? by Realhommie(m): 8:07am On Dec 14, 2020 |
1x2x3:Yes, it doesn't have to be in the village. It is done anywhere the girl calls home. What's most important is that both families are ably represented and the necessaries done. I'm from Delta central. 2 Likes |
Re: My Sister Wants Traditional Marriage In The City: Is It Normal? by Anaerobi(m): 8:07am On Dec 14, 2020 |
Realhommie:close friends not relatives... close relative are in the home town... village... no matter the number of close relative in city, it won't be comapred to the one in home town.... they tend to think of closer to friends in city forgetting d root. |
Re: My Sister Wants Traditional Marriage In The City: Is It Normal? by Realhommie(m): 8:08am On Dec 14, 2020 |
Titugirl:Ask me oooooo.. |
Re: My Sister Wants Traditional Marriage In The City: Is It Normal? by joyandfaith: 8:11am On Dec 14, 2020 |
Liposure: Yes, it supersedes traditional marriage. But law also recognises tradition to some extent and if It does not contradict the Constitution. |
Re: My Sister Wants Traditional Marriage In The City: Is It Normal? by Mariangeles(f): 8:11am On Dec 14, 2020 |
Mynd44: All you these "new age" people sef... Trying so hard to kill the beautiful African culture with your "woke ass" selves...and who says the modern/western way of doing things is the best? 3 Likes |
Re: My Sister Wants Traditional Marriage In The City: Is It Normal? by vickydankal(f): 8:12am On Dec 14, 2020 |
People made Culture and traditions and not the other way round . Wherever the people are there , you can observe culture and traditions. Where you called ancestry home, is a place your forefathers migrated to and settled and not necessarily owned by the people. You can have the traditional rites in Dubai or USA so far there are elders that understand the culture to observe it then no problem. |
Re: My Sister Wants Traditional Marriage In The City: Is It Normal? by blaqoracle: 8:13am On Dec 14, 2020 |
Seniorwriter:do you know how persons that have lost their lives trying to attend a marriage that is inconsequential. |
Re: My Sister Wants Traditional Marriage In The City: Is It Normal? by Righteousness89(m): 8:13am On Dec 14, 2020 |
Sebastine1994: Don't allow Nonessentials things trouble you! There is nothing wrong in having Traditional marriage in the city! What is needed from the village is their list! That's all My own sister just had her Traditional we'd in the city last month! |
Re: My Sister Wants Traditional Marriage In The City: Is It Normal? by Realhommie(m): 8:14am On Dec 14, 2020 |
Anaerobi:If you read me well you'd know i meant those in the village coming over. Besides, it doesn't have to be everybody, abi? Every family relative doesn't have to be present, they would have a few delegates over and it's settled. It's better that way than having to move everybody and everything else down to the village. |
Re: My Sister Wants Traditional Marriage In The City: Is It Normal? by Realhommie(m): 8:15am On Dec 14, 2020 |
vickydankal:Perfect submission. 1 Like |
Re: My Sister Wants Traditional Marriage In The City: Is It Normal? by SeriouslySense(m): 8:15am On Dec 14, 2020 |
that's a good reason to do it in the village, although i am not a fan, but i see the good point there Anaerobi: 1 Like |
Re: My Sister Wants Traditional Marriage In The City: Is It Normal? by mmsen: 8:15am On Dec 14, 2020 |
LawLab247: You Africans who spend much of your spare time in church, pleading with a dead Jew. Or mimicking the words of a dead Arab. Send your children abroad to be used as chattel. But having a 'traditional' wedding in an African city is where you draw the line? 1 Like |
Re: My Sister Wants Traditional Marriage In The City: Is It Normal? by AreaFada2: 8:16am On Dec 14, 2020 |
Sebastine1994:Nna you are asking mostly city people if it is OK to do trad wedding in the city. Many here do not know the road to their village. Your sister can dictate where to do her white or court wedding. Not trad wedding. Make she kukuma nor do trad wedding. It is little by little that we jettison culture. Yet we can never be oyinbo. This is from someone who has spent more of his life with oyinbo than with ndi dudu. I don't know why the nyanga people dey form these days. 2 Likes |
Re: My Sister Wants Traditional Marriage In The City: Is It Normal? by udomma1005(m): 8:18am On Dec 14, 2020 |
mrblessed:Did you say the ancestors should be informed, for what nahhhhhh? Problems full ground remain, u still wan go invite ancestors come with their own wahala! I don't know about the ancestors in your area but my area ancestors na for kasalar we dey summon dem show, 4get dat ancestors matta bruv 1 Like
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Re: My Sister Wants Traditional Marriage In The City: Is It Normal? by 1x2x3: 8:18am On Dec 14, 2020 |
Depressed101: The marriage can wait or they cut out the white wedding which is totally unnecessary expenses to me. Did you say live in Lagos? Where is lagos again? In-laws are highly obligated to go know the family of their bride and where she came from irrespective of the cost or you feel marriage is just about a man and woman saying yes to each other? Let the very few travel to the village for the traditional then the white wedding can be in Lagos. Don't be surprised if the girl is deciding just because her naive friends can't make it to her village. Also I don't think she has any respect for her brother as the head of the family cos I don't think she will ever suggest such if the father was alive and the sad thing is that she has also taught her husband to be family that her family isn't so relevant neither do they have much say. It will backfire when the time comes. 1 Like |
Re: My Sister Wants Traditional Marriage In The City: Is It Normal? by IkpuMmadu: 8:18am On Dec 14, 2020 |
Depressed101: I live in Lagos... It is even cheaper in village , the cost is cheaper A DJ might cost 20k here in Lagos in village 4k is enough Rental might cost 100 per chair In village it's 40 naira It's cheaper in village and the respect is higher 1 Like |
Re: My Sister Wants Traditional Marriage In The City: Is It Normal? by NwaforIgbo: 8:19am On Dec 14, 2020 |
frozen70: The bolded was exactly my thought.. I fear she has complex issues 2 Likes |
Re: My Sister Wants Traditional Marriage In The City: Is It Normal? by IkpuMmadu: 8:20am On Dec 14, 2020 |
1x2x3:Exactly... 1 Like |
Re: My Sister Wants Traditional Marriage In The City: Is It Normal? by Anaerobi(m): 8:21am On Dec 14, 2020 |
Realhommie:u are right.but close relative can't come for ur traditional marriage in the city and come for wedding in city. u go to village for traditional marriage, they come to city for ur wedding... believe me u, an igbo man will say u did ur traditional marriage with ur friends and forgot them... am Igbo, but grew in North. though I don't travel frequently to east, but the little I have do. I can predict their behavior. 1 Like |
Re: My Sister Wants Traditional Marriage In The City: Is It Normal? by NwaforIgbo: 8:21am On Dec 14, 2020 |
kraftysprouts: And you are part of the people basterdizing Igbo culture.. I believe u used cake and juice to do the wedding too. |
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