Sebastine1994:
I brought this issue to nairaland to straighten out some things, as the first son of the family, I am under immense pressure to defend the tradition of igbo.

my sister wants her Traditional Wedding to happen in the City, I have never seen a city traditional marriage, it sound abnormal to the ear, it seems I am the only stumbling block to this marriage. white wedding can happen in the city but not traditional abi?

truth is that most of our families reside in the city, they grew up in the city, and the cost of logistics is their excuse. please is it right that I should allow this to happen?

It is possible.

I recently did MC for an Igbo couple in Ajah who did both their traditional and white wedding in Lagos.

You can contact me to anchor the event if na Lagos una dey.

descarado:
City traditional marriage.
She should envisage the future. It's not always rosy.
If u don't take your man home, it's assumed you have a dysfunctional family. Your inlaw is taking note.
That is the backbone of any woman. It sends warning to the inlaw that this girl is not to be messed with as her people are strongly behind her. Also during conflict that involves the customary law, u don't actually have a stand as u never observed the customary procedure of marriage. What u did in the city is ordinary party, not traditional marriage.

The man go use am yab am in future

Dripy:


It is possible.

I recently did MC for an Igbo couple in Ajah who did both their traditional and white wedding in Lagos.

You can contact me to anchor the event if na Lagos una dey.

They must have gone to village to do the main rites ... Ask them ... Theey are doing Lagos own for formality sake


We call them ndi ala wuo otu ...

It depends on the agreement between both families.

IkpuMmadu:


They must have gone to village to do the main rites ... Ask them ... Theey are doing Lagos own for formality sake


We call them ndi ala wuo otu ...

They did not go to the village. They sent money to the village and the list was sent to them, they sent back the money equivalent of the list and the village gave their blessing.

Impossibility is nothing.

Realhommie:
Lol, off course.. What i meant there is the wedding is not so important for those village relative to attend.

But sincerely speaking i pray for a lady that won't stress me about a wedding, it's unnecessary.

my brother am thinking of indoor traditional marriage sef... jus d two families and close friends... but that future big head won't agree.

Dripy:


They did not go to the village. They sent money to the village and the list was sent to them, they sent back the money equivalent of the list and the village gave their blessing.

Impossibility is nothing.

that's the same thing .. they must engage the village folks and trust me they would still go to village and introduce the lady

I really don't understand why someone has to go to their home town before they have their traditional wedding, I really don't get it.
If your parents live in the city, are you saying they all have to go to their home town for a wedding?
You people have made culture more difficult than it is. You want her to go down to her home town, then buy foreign drinks there, simple things are made difficult by you guys, I just don't get it.
To me, wherever the parents reside, is where a child's wedding should be done (simple).
Not because they are from Kutuwenji then the parents have to leave the city to celebrate a wedding at kutuwenji.

pocohantas:
Majority of the people saying it is fine are not Igbos. The only people I know that will live, marry and be buried in Lagos without knowing their hometowns are Yorubas, no offense, but Igbos do not do that.

As woke as I am, one thing I will never do is my trad in the city or even marry without knowing the village of my partner.

All these woke Igbo people running away from the village saying “village people”, yes they could be a handful and I hate that- but a day will come when you’ll need those village people. I have an aunty that did Lagos marriage when I was a teenager, today she regrets it.


Even if you wake me from deep sleep, I will show you the way to my parents house IN THE VILLAGE. I can also show you their own parents houses as jara, that is my ROOT.

Come, keep quiet there! I wonder who told you that you're "woke" when I haven't said so. Don't make me vex this morning.

Sterope:
I am curious. Why is the village very important?

I can’t explain it well, but Igbos are deeply tied to their roots and togetherness. You don’t really know a person except you know his/her ancestral home and that can never change. SanwoOlu can decide to demolish our house in Lagos, but that can’t happen in the village.

Various rites in Igbo land are also stressful, so no matter how long it takes, something must bring you back to them. It is better you start identifying with them early.

IkpuMmadu:
that's the same thing .. they must engage the village folks and trust me they would still go to village and introduce the lady

Introducing the lady to village people is different from holding the traditional wedding in the city.

pocohantas:


I can’t explain it well, but Igbos are deeply tied to their roots and togetherness. You don’t really know a person except you know his/her ancestral home and that can never change. SanwoOlu can decide to demolish our house in Lagos, but that can’t happen in the village.

Various rites in Igbo land are also stressful, so no matter how long it takes, something must bring you back to them. It is better you start identifying with them early.

Even if you decide to do your traditional wedding in the city, village people will still be sent for iju ese and other rituals and even the items on the list can still be sent to ndi obodo but you can actually have your ceremony in the city.

1x2x3:


LOL I'm from Delta also and you lie big time. Your people are highly traditional people and I have never seen Isoko, ijaw, urhobo or ishekiri daughter being married out within Nigeria away from her ancestral home. I don't know how old you are but you have to ask questions.
You guys are fast losing your culture and it's unfortunate you are glad seeing it go. You think it's about evolving or development but when you travel to developed countries with cultural values you will notice how they judiciously protect their culture and traditions.

Let's assume a girl from your place grew up in Anambra state and she fell in love with a guy from Anambra right in the same place she grew up and lived most of her life so you feel it is appropriate holding her traditional marriage in Anambra because that's where she call home?

Let Africans keep losing their traditional values while coping western countries. One day we will read about our lost cultures in a book hidden at a museum in London.

I said it doesn't have to be in the village and that's what it is. You don't have to call me a liar over that, you don't know my family neither do you know my village so you do not know how things are done here. It is relative actually, to each his own but no law states anywhere where I'm from that it must be held in the village.

And to the instance you gave, yes the trad will be held there. Where the lady calls home in my earlier mention is where her parents are based, that's what i meant. There are instances of trads holding in Abuja, Lagos, Kaduna, Benin amongst other places. Those places aren't the traditional home of the bride, they didn't go to the village and heaven didn't fall.

And I'm not advocating that culture and tradition should be relegated and forgotten, nope. Just don't stress people unnecessarily. The traditional marriage itself is the culture and not the village thing, that is discretionary, depending on other factors.

let her take it to heaven na. I wonder how our generation is turning into. you pravatise marriage as if its the greatest archiement on earth. that state she want to carry the traditional marriage to, tell her is another person village oo. make she remains for village and perform the traditional rite.

Anaerobi:

my brother am thinking of indoor traditional marriage sef... jus d two families and close friends... but that future big head won't agree.

Hahahahaha, it is well ooooo...

I had a discussion with my neighbor on this issue, a very interesting argument we had. In the end he had nothing on me and he was like, just do it, it adds color to everything, lol. And how does color add value? May God give us understanding bro.

Nice arguing with you, you're a reasonable person with a good head. Have a blessed day.

Anaerobi:

oga be calming down pls. why is it called traditional marriage?
can u enjoy ur tradition fully elsewhere?

Even in the village are you enjoying your tradition fully? Why are you using light and cars and electronics? You might as well live in huts like your forefathers since you want to preserve tradition. Lol

IkpuMmadu:


The man go use am yab am in future

Na only yab.
When push come to shove, who will stand by her side?

We try to copy oyibo forgeting that what we see in movies are different from what's on ground there. Asia, some European countries hold on to their traditions cos that's what defines them.
Wish them luck anyway.

NwaforIgbo:


The bolded was exactly my thought.. I fear she has complex issues

My dear, whatever they are manipulating, trust Umunna, they will be deflated if not now, later

Sebastine1994:
I brought this issue to nairaland to straighten out some things, as the first son of the family, I am under immense pressure to defend the tradition of igbo.

my sister wants her Traditional Wedding to happen in the City, I have never seen a city traditional marriage, it sound abnormal to the ear, it seems I am the only stumbling block to this marriage. white wedding can happen in the city but not traditional abi?

truth is that most of our families reside in the city, they grew up in the city, and the cost of logistics is their excuse. please is it right that I should allow this to happen?

You disgust me, wtf?!

Primitive man. NL really helps me to understand ppl from the East better.

FFS! Smh... No wonder tribe is everything to you guys over common sense. Still can't believe you wrote that.

Girls are a big problem to igbo tradition. The way they reason na waah.
Op, stumble block that trad o, it should take place in your family house in the village

I understand. I think its survival is based on other Igbos enforcing the same. A growing nonchalant attitude towards the rites might change that narrative though.

Yorubas don't have that at all. Even where both roots are in the same city, there is really nothing except maintaining family togetherness.

pocohantas:


I can’t explain it well, but Igbos are deeply tied to their roots and togetherness. You don’t really know a person except you know his/her ancestral home and that can never change. SanwoOlu can decide to demolish our house in Lagos, but that can’t happen in the village.

Various rites in Igbo land are also stressful, so no matter how long it takes, something must bring you back to them. It is better you start identifying with them early.

Not my business. Not interested in any tradition or culture. I have none. In my opinion it adds no value to me, it adds no value to my neighbour and is a source of the worst we have to offer as a nation.

pocohantas:


I can’t explain it well, but Igbos are deeply tied to their roots and togetherness. You don’t really know a person except you know his/her ancestral home and that can never change. SanwoOlu can decide to demolish our house in Lagos, but that can’t happen in the village.

Various rites in Igbo land are also stressful, so no matter how long it takes, something must bring you back to them. It is better you start identifying with them early.

Bless you for this.
The only thing still keeping igbo people together is traditions like this.
Do you know that that two children of one of our late chief who had so many wives and concubine almost comitted sacrilege. They met in USA, started going out and proposed. The mum of one of them insisted they come home for marriage. I think it's the babe that know she is igbo but don't know which part. Seems like her mum( one of the concubine) severed all ties with the chief and left naija. Na so everybody come naija. Land for the same town and the same village heading to the same family house
Your guess is as good as mine

They wouldn't have known had they done everything in Yankee

Mynd44:
It is her wedding and her choice. I know you might feel a bit skirmish about it but it is still her choice.

And how is this an "Igbo tradition" to marry at home? I think the tradition is the marriage itself, the travelling home for it is the culture (I stand corrected). Anywhere you live and you are welcome is where your home lies.

If your worry is about who attends, invite those people over.

But still talk to her and try to find a middle point, make compromise which might include, an introduction in the village before the wedding while it might not be the actual event but she and her husband visits to meet everyone. This can also be agreed on after the wedding.

I have Igbo friends whose traditional marriage was done in Lagos because they felt the logistics was off. Some felt their friends, bosses, mentors, colleagues who they feel are more impactful in their lives than some of the family members they have not seen or even met might not be able to share in their special day especially if the "elders" who will attend even in the village are few and can be convince to travel to the city if they insist.

Anyways, let us know how this goes and remember, it is her wedding and while you want what is best overall, she is an adult and able to make her decisions. Make compromise and listen too her arguments well.

You have spoken well, however, I want to correct one impression in your comment, Traditional marriage is Giving the Bride's family their Right therefore in the absence of the Bride's father, the first Son will assume the position of a father, he has the sole right to decide where the traditional marriage will take place, the girl can only appeal to her Brother for consideration....

bencarson007:
Let's stop all this bickering... Let them choose a venue and you guys support... Case closed. If she was abroad nko.... Abeg let her have her way joor

she will come back. My sister and her husband living in UK came back to the village for their traditional marriage

IkpuMmadu:


I live in Lagos... It is even cheaper in village , the cost is cheaper

A DJ might cost 20k here in Lagos in village 4k is enough

Rental might cost 100 per chair
In village it's 40 naira

It's cheaper in village and the respect is higher

dj 4k? Is this a joke?

IkpuMmadu:


I live in Lagos... It is even cheaper in village , the cost is cheaper

A DJ might cost 20k here in Lagos in village 4k is enough

Rental might cost 100 per chair
In village it's 40 naira

It's cheaper in village and the respect is higher

dj 4k? Is this a joke? And where in Lagos is dj even 20k

Realhommie:
Hahahahaha, it is well ooooo...

I had a discussion with my neighbor on this issue, a very interesting argument we had. In the end he had nothing on me and he was like, just do it, it adds color to everything, lol. And how does color add value? May God give us understanding bro.

Nice arguing with you, you're a reasonable person with a good head. Have a blessed day.

thanks Brotherly. we are all here to understand each other, learn and catch fun.
wahala for who the take everything too serious.

amaham:
She can do a low-key , no canopy , list payment ceremony in the village. Let the compound people share in her merriment. After that, she can hire landmark event center in the city to celebrate her trad and white wedding
Trad wedding is not compulsory but clearing the lists with small enjoyment will make villagers happy

There's nothing like Traditional Wedding, is called Traditional Marriage, people should stop conflicting Africa culture with western Culture...

Zzor:
It is normal,stop stressing your sister

U Dey Talk Abt Stressing D Sister. What Abt D Man Wey Wan Carry D Expenses?

Truvel:
U Dey Talk Abt Stressing D Sister. What Abt D Man Wey Wan Carry D Expenses?

He should remain single then

bencarson007:
Let's stop all this bickering... Let them choose a venue and you guys support... Case closed. If she was abroad nko.... Abeg let her have her way joor

Even if she is out of the country.. The family of the man will go to the girl's village to do the traditional rite... Truth be told, I have never seen where traditional marriage is done out of the cultural place of the girl.. Introduction can be done anywhere but not traditional marriage.. Get the difference.