| Re: Should I Go Ahead And Marry Her With This Her Mindset? by olanrewaju99(m): 9:43am On Dec 17, 2020 |
Anoymus:
I have a girlfriend I am meaning to propose to during the festive period, she's everything I want in a woman except few exception which might be a hindrance to the proposal.
Gist is, my babe is a graduate but lack of work made her to learn fashion designing, she's done with the training and she's very good with what she does.
After marriage, I have told her that I'll assist in her business, I'm planning to get a bigger shop space for her and equip it with modern day machines, tools and tailoring materials goods to help make her work lucrative. I'm budgeting about 1.2-1.5m for this.
The issue now is that, 3 days ago, I asked her what her role would be if eventually after marriage she gets the shop, equipments and all, where she would come in in terms of responsibilities in the house. Her reply was she doesn't want to assume any responsibility and that it's my duty to cater for the family and she can only help & I shouldn't make anything compulsory for her. So many thoughts came through my mind. One of it was that, where the proceeds of her investment would be going to if I should shoulder all the responsibilities in the house knowing fully well that she makes money.
I rang my mum and told her of her response, I was shocked that she backed her saying that I shouldn't have asked her to foot anything in the house that it was my sole responsibility as a man to cater for my family my wife inclusive. My dad too, same thing. Even told my gf mum about it too , she giggled and said I shouldn't have asked her n that it's my duty to provide for my family. They all sounded foreign to me. Or am I the one not understanding?
My question now is, why invest that kind of money in her when I'm not sure of getting little or nothing in terms in return help to run the family. That sum of money could get me 4 brand new bikes and 2 neatly used Keke Napep for transportation business. I'm sure I'll be getting returns from these investment weekly or monthly basis.
I don't want who wouldn't have any sense of responsibility at home after investing in her, even if she's covering 10% or 5% I wouldn't mind. Mere helping doesn't go down well with me, she might have and decide not to give out. I rather not invest at all and expect nothing from her.
I don't know if I'm the one over thinking this things or my parent and her mum aren't seeing things from my perspective or am I being inconsiderate?
Criticism, Insults and bashing are welcomed. Thanks Well I love her honesty some ladies will deceive you into the marriage then change the pattern for you... very few will accept to take responsibility while others will help only when there's emergency or borrow you rather. 3 Likes |
| Re: Should I Go Ahead And Marry Her With This Her Mindset? by patani(m): 9:45am On Dec 17, 2020 |
Anoymus:
I have a girlfriend I am meaning to propose to during the festive period, she's everything I want in a woman except few exception which might be a hindrance to the proposal.
Gist is, my babe is a graduate but lack of work made her to learn fashion designing, she's done with the training and she's very good with what she does.
After marriage, I have told her that I'll assist in her business, I'm planning to get a bigger shop space for her and equip it with modern day machines, tools and tailoring materials goods to help make her work lucrative. I'm budgeting about 1.2-1.5m for this.
The issue now is that, 3 days ago, I asked her what her role would be if eventually after marriage she gets the shop, equipments and all, where she would come in in terms of responsibilities in the house. Her reply was she doesn't want to assume any responsibility and that it's my duty to cater for the family and she can only help & I shouldn't make anything compulsory for her. So many thoughts came through my mind. One of it was that, where the proceeds of her investment would be going to if I should shoulder all the responsibilities in the house knowing fully well that she makes money.
I rang my mum and told her of her response, I was shocked that she backed her saying that I shouldn't have asked her to foot anything in the house that it was my sole responsibility as a man to cater for my family my wife inclusive. My dad too, same thing. Even told my gf mum about it too , she giggled and said I shouldn't have asked her n that it's my duty to provide for my family. They all sounded foreign to me. Or am I the one not understanding?
My question now is, why invest that kind of money in her when I'm not sure of getting little or nothing in terms in return help to run the family. That sum of money could get me 4 brand new bikes and 2 neatly used Keke Napep for transportation business. I'm sure I'll be getting returns from these investment weekly or monthly basis.
I don't want who wouldn't have any sense of responsibility at home after investing in her, even if she's covering 10% or 5% I wouldn't mind. Mere helping doesn't go down well with me, she might have and decide not to give out. I rather not invest at all and expect nothing from her.
I don't know if I'm the one over thinking this things or my parent and her mum aren't seeing things from my perspective or am I being inconsiderate?
Criticism, Insults and bashing are welcomed. Thanks I can tell you as someone who married a lady who has never been gainfully employed in our 7 years of marriage...Man is the sole provider of the house...If she contribute good if nt experience will teach her to ...But to be honest, doing my responsibility has been one of the reasons why God has been blessing me over and over...My single income is almost times 6 of my friends and thier wives joined together and its not to shame them, boast or what...God has been faithful 5 Likes |
| Re: Should I Go Ahead And Marry Her With This Her Mindset? by Titugirl(f): 9:46am On Dec 17, 2020 |
Shortyy:
This is why advice everyone fend for themselves. To avoid, after all I've done for you. Or what will you give me in return. Right! 1 Like |
| Re: Should I Go Ahead And Marry Her With This Her Mindset? by eROCK247(m): 9:47am On Dec 17, 2020 |
Anoymus:
I don't know if I'm the one over thinking this things or my parent and her mum aren't seeing things from my perspective or am I being inconsiderate?
Your wife is meant to be a helpMATE. Perhaps you need to define the meaning of that word to them. If she cannot make your life EASIER after marriage, there's no point marrying her. But then again, if you feel her good characteristics outweigh the wrong mindset; you can marry her. 1 Like |
| Re: Should I Go Ahead And Marry Her With This Her Mindset? by NevetsIbot(m): 9:48am On Dec 17, 2020 |
Anoymus:
Thank you for for your input, I'll like to know the type of woman I want to spend the rest of my life with. I feel discussions like this would broaden one's scope about the lady. Its possible for her to be earning and the only thing she does is to keeping up with trends, getting the latest bags and clothes in town just to feel among while large chunk of my money goes into maintaining a marriage we both started. I wouldn't care if she buys the latest every every with the proceeds of her business from which I started if she's doing her own part of the responsibility even if na steady 5% I'll gladly appreciate. Bruh. I beg you, don't go through with marrying her if her mentality doesn't change. If you want more in life, get a woman who bring you peace and is ready to build with you.... A marriage is supposed to grow you both if the combinations are correct. Most of the rich people in life built with their wives.. But their hones, businesses and all. Mm that's how they were able to grow... She has shown you who she is.... Don't go into it yet. She can't just stay there Supply sex (which you're also supplying) pop babies and expect to just enjoy all the proceeds of her own business alone. As little as my mother earned when I was still a kid, she'd always try to do stuffs at home and I remember my father would not allow it but appreciate her for the effort... When he got financially down then, she stood in line.. And she's been doing it till now. Please, think very well 1 Like |
| Re: Should I Go Ahead And Marry Her With This Her Mindset? by Layyord(m): 9:48am On Dec 17, 2020 |
Slash the money man, invest in yourself and put some in your woman.. your support for her will make her do the same and the money you invested on yourself won't make you become terrible if she doesn't... 3 Likes |
| Re: Should I Go Ahead And Marry Her With This Her Mindset? by emekafelix1: 9:49am On Dec 17, 2020 |
Am very sure you are an igbo man! your wife to be is not a factory but help met, if you are investing in her is good thing but mind you very soon children will start coming believe me is not everytime she will ask you money for diapper or her own underwear. making her industrous is good and she will assist in her LITTLE WAY, dont forget women behave like little childen do not depend on her :that is what it takes to be a man and not a boy! i wish she is a nice lady am sure you will not regret ever marrying her. Your Mum & Dad are right 3 Likes |
| Re: Should I Go Ahead And Marry Her With This Her Mindset? by CAPSLOCKED: 9:49am On Dec 17, 2020 |
sheobserves:
But entering a marriage with a mindset that a 'woman Must contribute financially " is a recipe for disaster. You have a choice,take on your present partner and expect the best,or look for another that will agree upfront to contribute and let's see how it will pan out. MAMA, THE FAULT IS WITH THE MEN WHO ASK WOMEN TO CONTRIBUTE, OR SPEND SMALL TOKENS ON THE CHILDREN OR HOUSE MAINTENANCE IN OGA'S ABSENCE. NO SENSIBLE MAN SHOULD "ASK" HIS WIFE OR GIRLFRIEND TO CONTRIBUTE OR DO THINGS THAT WILL BENEFIT THE HOUSEHOLD/RELATIONSHIP WITH HER MONEY.
A WISE MAN SHOULD KNOW WHAT HE WANTS, AND KICK A GIRL OUT IF SHE DOESN'T MEET HIS EXPECTATIONS. MEN DON'T HAVE TO DEMAND THESE THINGS. A REASONABLE PARTNER SHOULD KNOW HIS OR HER ROLE AND PLAY IN THIER POSITIONS FOR FULL 90 MINUTES. 7 Likes 3 Shares |
| Re: Should I Go Ahead And Marry Her With This Her Mindset? by richkaynet87(m): 9:49am On Dec 17, 2020 |
Smiles...
Bros the truth is women instinctively know when and how to help out with stuffs in the house. This shouldn't be an issue at all bearing in mind you said she ticked all the right boxes. Don't let this be an issue for you at all. You're the head of the house and therefore should be able to take care of everything in the house. She will definitely contribute her own quota. This is what I've noticed and seen from a personal view sha. All the best bro!! 2 Likes |
| Re: Should I Go Ahead And Marry Her With This Her Mindset? by valencia25(m): 9:51am On Dec 17, 2020 |
Anoymus:
I have a girlfriend I am meaning to propose to during the festive period, she's everything I want in a woman except few exception which might be a hindrance to the proposal.
Gist is, my babe is a graduate but lack of work made her to learn fashion designing, she's done with the training and she's very good with what she does.
After marriage, I have told her that I'll assist in her business, I'm planning to get a bigger shop space for her and equip it with modern day machines, tools and tailoring materials goods to help make her work lucrative. I'm budgeting about 1.2-1.5m for this.
The issue now is that, 3 days ago, I asked her what her role would be if eventually after marriage she gets the shop, equipments and all, where she would come in in terms of responsibilities in the house. Her reply was she doesn't want to assume any responsibility and that it's my duty to cater for the family and she can only help & I shouldn't make anything compulsory for her. So many thoughts came through my mind. One of it was that, where the proceeds of her investment would be going to if I should shoulder all the responsibilities in the house knowing fully well that she makes money.
I rang my mum and told her of her response, I was shocked that she backed her saying that I shouldn't have asked her to foot anything in the house that it was my sole responsibility as a man to cater for my family my wife inclusive. My dad too, same thing. Even told my gf mum about it too , she giggled and said I shouldn't have asked her n that it's my duty to provide for my family. They all sounded foreign to me. Or am I the one not understanding?
My question now is, why invest that kind of money in her when I'm not sure of getting little or nothing in terms in return help to run the family. That sum of money could get me 4 brand new bikes and 2 neatly used Keke Napep for transportation business. I'm sure I'll be getting returns from these investment weekly or monthly basis.
I don't want who wouldn't have any sense of responsibility at home after investing in her, even if she's covering 10% or 5% I wouldn't mind. Mere helping doesn't go down well with me, she might have and decide not to give out. I rather not invest at all and expect nothing from her.
I don't know if I'm the one over thinking this things or my parent and her mum aren't seeing things from my perspective or am I being inconsiderate?
Criticism, Insults and bashing are welcomed. Thanks How much do you think a Keke Napep cost? 4 Brand new Keke, are you going to buy a Graphic design of it? NEVER expect anything from your woman as a man, it slow down the pace of your responsibility. You will get better when you don't feel entitled to what she brings, trust me... a good woman will empty her account for you to invest when it's time. And most women will give you the same reply your gf gave to you until you need their help. They can empty their piggybank for you, don't hold any grudges and for you to have informed your parents and your inlaw about her response shows you're NOT SERIOUS yet o. Small gist, you dn air her matter give her people. 4 Likes |
| Re: Should I Go Ahead And Marry Her With This Her Mindset? by eeewise(m): 9:51am On Dec 17, 2020 |
mathong:
Woman will always assist the family but she won't promise you so you don't relent in working hard!
No perfect woman out there, but they're always Noble!
this mindset makes we want to vomit. marriage is supposed to be a partnership not a union where a man takes care of a woman he wont promise you to support her own family really sad how entitled we are here 1 Like |
| Re: Should I Go Ahead And Marry Her With This Her Mindset? by citee(m): 9:52am On Dec 17, 2020 |
I really wonder where this man has to do everything in the house mentality came from.
In modern families where income comes from both the husband and wife, the wife should deliberately take on some responsibilities in the home. It doesn't have to be 50 - 50, even if it is 90 - 10, at least that way the man knows he has support.
I see a lot of selfish women these days some of whom even earn as much if not more than the husband but refuse to make any financial contribution to the home.
This is why a lot of men die before their time due to the financial the burden they are left to bear alone.
This attitude has to stop! 2 Likes 1 Share |
| Re: Should I Go Ahead And Marry Her With This Her Mindset? by Princesslee: 9:53am On Dec 17, 2020 |
My questions still remains" where all this boyfriends de way I no dey see them" Anoymus:
I have a girlfriend I am meaning to propose to during the festive period, she's everything I want in a woman except few exception which might be a hindrance to the proposal.
Gist is, my babe is a graduate but lack of work made her to learn fashion designing, she's done with the training and she's very good with what she does.
After marriage, I have told her that I'll assist in her business, I'm planning to get a bigger shop space for her and equip it with modern day machines, tools and tailoring materials goods to help make her work lucrative. I'm budgeting about 1.2-1.5m for this.
The issue now is that, 3 days ago, I asked her what her role would be if eventually after marriage she gets the shop, equipments and all, where she would come in in terms of responsibilities in the house. Her reply was she doesn't want to assume any responsibility and that it's my duty to cater for the family and she can only help & I shouldn't make anything compulsory for her. So many thoughts came through my mind. One of it was that, where the proceeds of her investment would be going to if I should shoulder all the responsibilities in the house knowing fully well that she makes money.
I rang my mum and told her of her response, I was shocked that she backed her saying that I shouldn't have asked her to foot anything in the house that it was my sole responsibility as a man to cater for my family my wife inclusive. My dad too, same thing. Even told my gf mum about it too , she giggled and said I shouldn't have asked her n that it's my duty to provide for my family. They all sounded foreign to me. Or am I the one not understanding?
My question now is, why invest that kind of money in her when I'm not sure of getting little or nothing in terms in return help to run the family. That sum of money could get me 4 brand new bikes and 2 neatly used Keke Napep for transportation business. I'm sure I'll be getting returns from these investment weekly or monthly basis.
I don't want who wouldn't have any sense of responsibility at home after investing in her, even if she's covering 10% or 5% I wouldn't mind. Mere helping doesn't go down well with me, she might have and decide not to give out. I rather not invest at all and expect nothing from her.
I don't know if I'm the one over thinking this things or my parent and her mum aren't seeing things from my perspective or am I being inconsiderate?
Criticism, Insults and bashing are welcomed. Thanks |
| Re: Should I Go Ahead And Marry Her With This Her Mindset? by Ewroghene1(m): 9:53am On Dec 17, 2020 |
Anoymus:
I have a girlfriend I am meaning to propose to during the festive period, she's everything I want in a woman except few exception which might be a hindrance to the proposal.
Gist is, my babe is a graduate but lack of work made her to learn fashion designing, she's done with the training and she's very good with what she does.
After marriage, I have told her that I'll assist in her business, I'm planning to get a bigger shop space for her and equip it with modern day machines, tools and tailoring materials goods to help make her work lucrative. I'm budgeting about 1.2-1.5m for this.
The issue now is that, 3 days ago, I asked her what her role would be if eventually after marriage she gets the shop, equipments and all, where she would come in in terms of responsibilities in the house. Her reply was she doesn't want to assume any responsibility and that it's my duty to cater for the family and she can only help & I shouldn't make anything compulsory for her. So many thoughts came through my mind. One of it was that, where the proceeds of her investment would be going to if I should shoulder all the responsibilities in the house knowing fully well that she makes money.
I rang my mum and told her of her response, I was shocked that she backed her saying that I shouldn't have asked her to foot anything in the house that it was my sole responsibility as a man to cater for my family my wife inclusive. My dad too, same thing. Even told my gf mum about it too , she giggled and said I shouldn't have asked her n that it's my duty to provide for my family. They all sounded foreign to me. Or am I the one not understanding?
My question now is, why invest that kind of money in her when I'm not sure of getting little or nothing in terms in return help to run the family. That sum of money could get me 4 brand new bikes and 2 neatly used Keke Napep for transportation business. I'm sure I'll be getting returns from these investment weekly or monthly basis.
I don't want who wouldn't have any sense of responsibility at home after investing in her, even if she's covering 10% or 5% I wouldn't mind. Mere helping doesn't go down well with me, she might have and decide not to give out. I rather not invest at all and expect nothing from her.
I don't know if I'm the one over thinking this things or my parent and her mum aren't seeing things from my perspective or am I being inconsiderate?
Criticism, Insults and bashing are welcomed. Thanks baba i mean no harm Here is the solution Invest half of the money in her and invest what ever amount on yours Then monitor the outcome on her behavior for betterment of the home if u can invest more on her Good or bad behavior doesn't start in a day It grows to a limit Thank you thank you � 2 Likes |
| Re: Should I Go Ahead And Marry Her With This Her Mindset? by afbstrategies: 9:54am On Dec 17, 2020 |
Anoymus:
I have a girlfriend I am meaning to propose to during the festive period, she's everything I want in a woman except few exception which might be a hindrance to the proposal.
Gist is, my babe is a graduate but lack of work made her to learn fashion designing, she's done with the training and she's very good with what she does.
After marriage, I have told her that I'll assist in her business, I'm planning to get a bigger shop space for her and equip it with modern day machines, tools and tailoring materials goods to help make her work lucrative. I'm budgeting about 1.2-1.5m for this.
The issue now is that, 3 days ago, I asked her what her role would be if eventually after marriage she gets the shop, equipments and all, where she would come in in terms of responsibilities in the house. Her reply was she doesn't want to assume any responsibility and that it's my duty to cater for the family and she can only help & I shouldn't make anything compulsory for her. So many thoughts came through my mind. One of it was that, where the proceeds of her investment would be going to if I should shoulder all the responsibilities in the house knowing fully well that she makes money.
I rang my mum and told her of her response, I was shocked that she backed her saying that I shouldn't have asked her to foot anything in the house that it was my sole responsibility as a man to cater for my family my wife inclusive. My dad too, same thing. Even told my gf mum about it too , she giggled and said I shouldn't have asked her n that it's my duty to provide for my family. They all sounded foreign to me. Or am I the one not understanding?
My question now is, why invest that kind of money in her when I'm not sure of getting little or nothing in terms in return help to run the family. That sum of money could get me 4 brand new bikes and 2 neatly used Keke Napep for transportation business. I'm sure I'll be getting returns from these investment weekly or monthly basis.
I don't want who wouldn't have any sense of responsibility at home after investing in her, even if she's covering 10% or 5% I wouldn't mind. Mere helping doesn't go down well with me, she might have and decide not to give out. I rather not invest at all and expect nothing from her.
I don't know if I'm the one over thinking this things or my parent and her mum aren't seeing things from my perspective or am I being inconsiderate?
Criticism, Insults and bashing are welcomed. Thanks No Criticism, Insults and bashing bro. I think your concerns are legitimate. Your mum and others are not wrong but they are living in the past when they had those arrangements that weren't as challenging as todays. If she can't take some responsibilities off your shoulder, then do your thing, wait until things change or invest the money somewhere. Goodluck sha. |
| Re: Should I Go Ahead And Marry Her With This Her Mindset? by Nobody: 9:55am On Dec 17, 2020 |
Beremx:
Most nairaland men are bad advisers. See the kind of bad advice they are giving the Op?
Chai!! A bad advice is one that doesn’t massage the female ego and doesn’t support their selfish and entitlement agenda 1 Like |
| Re: Should I Go Ahead And Marry Her With This Her Mindset? by Dameland: 9:56am On Dec 17, 2020 |
Your childish behaviour shows how much you have been influenced by listening to all the nonsense from those immature relationship experts on Nairaland forum. Welcome to the Real world. Which man asks of his wife how much she will be contributing to the family when they marry. Thank God for your correct parents and mother-in-law. There is hope for you. You better wake up. Anoymus:
I have a girlfriend I am meaning to propose to during the festive period, she's everything I want in a woman except few exception which might be a hindrance to the proposal.
Gist is, my babe is a graduate but lack of work made her to learn fashion designing, she's done with the training and she's very good with what she does.
After marriage, I have told her that I'll assist in her business, I'm planning to get a bigger shop space for her and equip it with modern day machines, tools and tailoring materials goods to help make her work lucrative. I'm budgeting about 1.2-1.5m for this.
The issue now is that, 3 days ago, I asked her what her role would be if eventually after marriage she gets the shop, equipments and all, where she would come in in terms of responsibilities in the house. Her reply was she doesn't want to assume any responsibility and that it's my duty to cater for the family and she can only help & I shouldn't make anything compulsory for her. So many thoughts came through my mind. One of it was that, where the proceeds of her investment would be going to if I should shoulder all the responsibilities in the house knowing fully well that she makes money.
I rang my mum and told her of her response, I was shocked that she backed her saying that I shouldn't have asked her to foot anything in the house that it was my sole responsibility as a man to cater for my family my wife inclusive. My dad too, same thing. Even told my gf mum about it too , she giggled and said I shouldn't have asked her n that it's my duty to provide for my family. They all sounded foreign to me. Or am I the one not understanding?
My question now is, why invest that kind of money in her when I'm not sure of getting little or nothing in terms in return help to run the family. That sum of money could get me 4 brand new bikes and 2 neatly used Keke Napep for transportation business. I'm sure I'll be getting returns from these investment weekly or monthly basis.
I don't want who wouldn't have any sense of responsibility at home after investing in her, even if she's covering 10% or 5% I wouldn't mind. Mere helping doesn't go down well with me, she might have and decide not to give out. I rather not invest at all and expect nothing from her.
I don't know if I'm the one over thinking this things or my parent and her mum aren't seeing things from my perspective or am I being inconsiderate?
Criticism, Insults and bashing are welcomed. Thanks 2 Likes 1 Share |
| Re: Should I Go Ahead And Marry Her With This Her Mindset? by Montaque(m): 9:57am On Dec 17, 2020 |
I now see the root of her mentality. Her dad contributed little finance to the family, her mum struggled all through to keep things running. Your fiance saw all that and resented her dad. Same with her sibling and mum. They relegated him to the background and vowed to go into a family with different/opposite setting where the man will provide everything. The mum would have said, I have suffered all that my daughter will suffer in marriage. For your fiance, I suspect marriage is a vengeful mission; to recompense for her mum's struggles in marriage. During the marriage, any day you suffer financial difficulty, she sees herself becoming like her mum. She will always look for a better life (her mum cant suffer and she will come and suffer too). Any family where the husband is dreaded by the children is a red flag, because most times, they will carry their mother's hurt/reasoning/mentality into their own marriages. Can you keep up with the above for a lifetime  ? Only you can answer that Anoymus:
1. I just support her the little way I can. I never paid her school fees while she was in school I just gave her pocket money not more than 10k and it happens only once every 1-2 months
2. They dread their dad so much cos he is a retired soldier, the fear also rubbed on me on the long run. he just knows me as his daughter's friend. We haven't got that opportunity to discuss intimately yet. Her mum na my padi, I speak to her freely. Unlike her dad
3. I'm not sure. I think they should be responsible for all their own finances. More reason why I'm asking questions, make I no go marry person wey go dey carry money dash their people while I expenses go dey choke me.
4. No sir, she isn't. I am also a graduate, and was fortunate to venture into a booming business after graduation in 2014. I'm also not ugly or
handicapped in anyway (I'm sorry if you are a handicap reading this, this is not to spite you in anyway) she's certainly not doing me a favour being in the relationship.
1 Like |
| Re: Should I Go Ahead And Marry Her With This Her Mindset? by Nobody: 10:00am On Dec 17, 2020 |
Franktom247:
dundee united,mr mumu,eleribu it still doesnt change the fact that the money will nt buy 4 bikes or 2 keke as at now dey your dey Brand new motorcycle averages btwn 200k to 300k, why won’t 1.5M buy 4. How much is tricycle that 1.5M won’t buy 2 |
| Re: Should I Go Ahead And Marry Her With This Her Mindset? by Raalsalghul: 10:00am On Dec 17, 2020 |
Ishilove:
So what exactly is she bringing to the table in this marriage apart from her womb and vagina?
How anyone can have this kind of mentality in this day age boggles the mind. Her kind will nag you to depression if you happen to fall on hard times.
Op, count your teeth with your tongue. Are you being serious or is this sarcasm? 
|
| Re: Should I Go Ahead And Marry Her With This Her Mindset? by futurism: 10:01am On Dec 17, 2020 |
Nazgul:
She's a very selfish person. I hate girls that reason that way. How can you look at a guy who invested 1.5m on you, married you, housed you, feeds you and tell him that you won't contribute to the home?
She has clearly told you that you stand to benefit nothing from her if you go ahead with the marriage plans.
Whatever action you decide to take is up to you. Yes, she is selfish but I can put it to you that over 90% of Nigerian girls ARE like that... I personally HATE such a mentality. We are all humans, not machines. There is nothing wrong with sharing responsibility but tomorrow they will be shouting EQUALITY when they can't even uphold basic responsibility. I am also someone who does not bone with any woman via sex and that means if a woman feels she is giving me pussy to fork as her own responsibility in all things, she is wasting her time... I have never bonded with any woman via sex and never will. 2 Likes |
| Re: Should I Go Ahead And Marry Her With This Her Mindset? by Divoc19(f): 10:03am On Dec 17, 2020 |
Go and propose abeg, when the need arises she'll definitely assist you.
They don't want you to feel like life is going to be easy.
You gat no ish |
| Re: Should I Go Ahead And Marry Her With This Her Mindset? by Georgejeez: 10:03am On Dec 17, 2020 |
Op give her a test
Support her business with 300 k instead of the 1.5 million ,, tell her you have ventured into a very lucrative investment with the rest of your savings.
Help her nurture the tailoring business to the stage where she can be making profit .
Announce that the investment has crashed ( Nollywood style) .
Pretend to be broke and heavily in debt..
Watch her behaviour kokodiously
If she can support you with the little she's making in the shop while still respecting you and your family , if she still shows you the kinda love she has been exhibiting ever since and remains loyal ,then she's not just the right one but will stand by you during real rough times ( we don't pray for any).
But if her attitude changes , refuses to support you , and begins to form madam too busy , then you should use your teeth to count your tongue.
Reason most marriages crash today is because the spouses didn't test and gauge themselves properly during courtship ,,As faithful as Abraham claimed , God tested him with Isaac's life to see the level of his loyalty .
#Enough of one sided marriage #enough of married men dieing early due to parasitism . 1 Like |
| Re: Should I Go Ahead And Marry Her With This Her Mindset? by ashjay001(m): 10:04am On Dec 17, 2020 |
Anoymus:
wow! You're a thinking man, I wasn't. Do your investments abeg, if you full finish, invest in her. |
| Re: Should I Go Ahead And Marry Her With This Her Mindset? by futurism: 10:04am On Dec 17, 2020 |
Raalsalghul:
Are you being serious or is this sarcasm? We still have sane minds among Nigerian women, though few. What the OP is even experiencing comes with MANY women who never worked for a dime but had men giving them things... |
| Re: Should I Go Ahead And Marry Her With This Her Mindset? by Alwaysachick: 10:06am On Dec 17, 2020 |
Op look around you men with working class wives are loosing their jobs.
While men with housewives are building houses.
Save your self from this modern bondage young men are putting themselves in all in the name of finding a woman who they can share responsibility.
It is not your biblical duty to baby sit, don't lay a curse on your self. Your parents have told you, use your tongue to count your teeth. 2 Likes 1 Share |
| Re: Should I Go Ahead And Marry Her With This Her Mindset? by kevotek1000(m): 10:06am On Dec 17, 2020 |
A good woman is easy known even from the way she talks and behaved. A good woman should also know that raising a family is a jointly task. No man should be unfortunate because he is a man. A woman should work hand in hand with a man in full supports of any help she can rather and also her support shouldn't be obligatory but a must. Remember both hands must wash each other very well for it to be cleaned. |
| Re: Should I Go Ahead And Marry Her With This Her Mindset? by just2endowed: 10:07am On Dec 17, 2020 |
Anoymus:
Thanks for your input bro. And as for the question you asked, she is trying, surprises me with gift once a while but I don't think she would be an enduring type when the chips are down. I have had instances where I spent 15k (drugs inclusive) to remove her troublesome decay tooth just 3 days after I gave her 4k to make her hair. She complained saying the 4k won't be enough for the style that she wants to make. Had to add 1500 before she happily hugged me and gave me a peck. Person wey I spend 15k to commot tooth 3 days after the hair incident. Thought she would be greatful and cut her cloth according to their cloth instead of nagging.. But according to her, she loves me very much and I do too She probably love your support and money sir.... |
| Re: Should I Go Ahead And Marry Her With This Her Mindset? by Snaagg(m): 10:07am On Dec 17, 2020 |
nnamdi19922:
i dnt even no why men marry, wen we dnt hv anytin in return dan a stupid wife, gossipers, educated illiterate nd burden. my dear if nt for child i dnt see anytin in a woman ooo. dats if the child is even yours.. but that one is story for another day  1 Like |
| Re: Should I Go Ahead And Marry Her With This Her Mindset? by oyinella(f): 10:10am On Dec 17, 2020 |
In my opinion, I feel like she answered that question correctly. It's your duty to provide for your family, but then again it's totally okay for your wife to help. What if for some reasons there are months you cant meet up to your shared financial responsibility and she has more money then, dont you think she will want to stand by this so called responsibility sharing? Let everything come from a place of understanding and mutual respect, I don't need any sharing formula to pick up bills around my house without being told, because I'm not pressured to 2 Likes 3 Shares |
| Re: Should I Go Ahead And Marry Her With This Her Mindset? by Montaque(m): 10:11am On Dec 17, 2020 |
Alwaysachick:
This mindset of yours is what is making women breadwinners today.
Back in the day when men took sole responsibility , God gave them the capacity. Say no to bondage or
I pray you lose your job or means of livelihood so you can totally depend on her. Shame
O boy. They don dey cause person wey wan help. You pray he should lose his job?? How will the girl get 1.5m now? Angry and bitter girls. Parasites looking for who to leech on. 1 Like |
| Re: Should I Go Ahead And Marry Her With This Her Mindset? by Akexstinger(m): 10:12am On Dec 17, 2020 |
Anoymus:
I have a girlfriend I am meaning to propose to during the festive period, she's everything I want in a woman except few exception which might be a hindrance to the proposal.
Gist is, my babe is a graduate but lack of work made her to learn fashion designing, she's done with the training and she's very good with what she does.
After marriage, I have told her that I'll assist in her business, I'm planning to get a bigger shop space for her and equip it with modern day machines, tools and tailoring materials goods to help make her work lucrative. I'm budgeting about 1.2-1.5m for this.
The issue now is that, 3 days ago, I asked her what her role would be if eventually after marriage she gets the shop, equipments and all, where she would come in in terms of responsibilities in the house. Her reply was she doesn't want to assume any responsibility and that it's my duty to cater for the family and she can only help & I shouldn't make anything compulsory for her. So many thoughts came through my mind. One of it was that, where the proceeds of her investment would be going to if I should shoulder all the responsibilities in the house knowing fully well that she makes money.
I rang my mum and told her of her response, I was shocked that she backed her saying that I shouldn't have asked her to foot anything in the house that it was my sole responsibility as a man to cater for my family my wife inclusive. My dad too, same thing. Even told my gf mum about it too , she giggled and said I shouldn't have asked her n that it's my duty to provide for my family. They all sounded foreign to me. Or am I the one not understanding?
My question now is, why invest that kind of money in her when I'm not sure of getting little or nothing in terms in return help to run the family. That sum of money could get me 4 brand new bikes and 2 neatly used Keke Napep for transportation business. I'm sure I'll be getting returns from these investment weekly or monthly basis.
I don't want who wouldn't have any sense of responsibility at home after investing in her, even if she's covering 10% or 5% I wouldn't mind. Mere helping doesn't go down well with me, she might have and decide not to give out. I rather not invest at all and expect nothing from her.
I don't know if I'm the one over thinking this things or my parent and her mum aren't seeing things from my perspective or am I being inconsiderate?
Criticism, Insults and bashing are welcomed. Thanks Baba I like the way you think. This is 21st century and wife and husband should think of ways of helping each other as regards family responsibilities. It is a good thing to invest your wife and her business and it is also a good thing for her to also complement your efforts by also shouldering a small potion of house bills Incase the need arises. But with her mindset, it clearly shows she is not in for that and will be thinking that you want to be using her Skill and her business to be makbig money. She has tagged that business as her personal business and that you do not have a say in it. Since she’s got this mindset, then it is better you invest that money into another business that will generate money and enable you to cater for the family 100 percent without her input. Mind you, just know that you will be the only person to shoulder responsibilities should you marry her . Are you ready for this ? If you are ready for it, then take the money and invest a business to keep the family going on roller coaster ride. Because I bet you that this kain woman no go assist you when you de suffer small money even if na u invest money in her business. Her money is for herself and her family. Na why married men de use their children as next of kin instead of their wives. |
