Re: Should I Go Ahead And Marry Her With This Her Mindset? by Seyzcham91(m): 12:41pm On Dec 17, 2020 |
Bro you got a Phenomenal Perspective and That the perspective Every reasonable Person Should have and follow too but sadly we are worse in africa. The Typical black Mentality is giving us Problem! You thinking right bro! i feel you and thats how it should be, cuz your parent and hers not seeing it doesn't make you wrong. it only says one thing. "the same mentality of girls wanting to be burden in mariage is inherited from our parent and great grand parent" Anoymus: I have a girlfriend I am meaning to propose to during the festive period, she's everything I want in a woman except few exception which might be a hindrance to the proposal. Gist is, my babe is a graduate but lack of work made her to learn fashion designing, she's done with the training and she's very good with what she does.
After marriage, I have told her that I'll assist in her business, I'm planning to get a bigger shop space for her and equip it with modern day machines, tools and tailoring materials goods to help make her work lucrative. I'm budgeting about 1.2-1.5m for this.
The issue now is that, 3 days ago, I asked her what her role would be if eventually after marriage she gets the shop, equipments and all, where she would come in in terms of responsibilities in the house. Her reply was she doesn't want to assume any responsibility and that it's my duty to cater for the family and she can only help & I shouldn't make anything compulsory for her. So many thoughts came through my mind. One of it was that, where the proceeds of her investment would be going to if I should shoulder all the responsibilities in the house knowing fully well that she makes money.
I rang my mum and told her of her response, I was shocked that she backed her saying that I shouldn't have asked her to foot anything in the house that it was my sole responsibility as a man to cater for my family my wife inclusive. My dad too, same thing. Even told my gf mum about it too , she giggled and said I shouldn't have asked her n that it's my duty to provide for my family. They all sounded foreign to me. Or am I the one not understanding?
My question now is, why invest that kind of money in her when I'm not sure of getting little or nothing in terms in return help to run the family. That sum of money could get me 4 brand new bikes and 2 neatly used Keke Napep for transportation business. I'm sure I'll be getting returns from these investment weekly or monthly basis.
I don't want who wouldn't have any sense of responsibility at home after investing in her, even if she's covering 10% or 5% I wouldn't mind. Mere helping doesn't go down well with me, she might have and decide not to give out. I rather not invest at all and expect nothing from her.
I don't know if I'm the one over thinking this things or my parent and her mum aren't seeing things from my perspective or am I being inconsiderate?
Criticism, Insults and bashing are welcomed. Thanks 3 Likes |
Re: Should I Go Ahead And Marry Her With This Her Mindset? by SILVERLINES: 12:46pm On Dec 17, 2020 |
Anoymus: I have a girlfriend I am meaning to propose to during the festive period, she's everything I want in a woman except few exception which might be a hindrance to the proposal. Gist is, my babe is a graduate but lack of work made her to learn fashion designing, she's done with the training and she's very good with what she does.
After marriage, I have told her that I'll assist in her business, I'm planning to get a bigger shop space for her and equip it with modern day machines, tools and tailoring materials goods to help make her work lucrative. I'm budgeting about 1.2-1.5m for this.
The issue now is that, 3 days ago, I asked her what her role would be if eventually after marriage she gets the shop, equipments and all, where she would come in in terms of responsibilities in the house. Her reply was she doesn't want to assume any responsibility and that it's my duty to cater for the family and she can only help & I shouldn't make anything compulsory for her. So many thoughts came through my mind. One of it was that, where the proceeds of her investment would be going to if I should shoulder all the responsibilities in the house knowing fully well that she makes money.
I rang my mum and told her of her response, I was shocked that she backed her saying that I shouldn't have asked her to foot anything in the house that it was my sole responsibility as a man to cater for my family my wife inclusive. My dad too, same thing. Even told my gf mum about it too , she giggled and said I shouldn't have asked her n that it's my duty to provide for my family. They all sounded foreign to me. Or am I the one not understanding?
My question now is, why invest that kind of money in her when I'm not sure of getting little or nothing in terms in return help to run the family. That sum of money could get me 4 brand new bikes and 2 neatly used Keke Napep for transportation business. I'm sure I'll be getting returns from these investment weekly or monthly basis.
I don't want who wouldn't have any sense of responsibility at home after investing in her, even if she's covering 10% or 5% I wouldn't mind. Mere helping doesn't go down well with me, she might have and decide not to give out. I rather not invest at all and expect nothing from her.
I don't know if I'm the one over thinking this things or my parent and her mum aren't seeing things from my perspective or am I being inconsiderate?
Criticism, Insults and bashing are welcomed. Thanks op u be 21st century pikin Ooooh Ahh you shouldn't ask her such question. In her reply she said that she can only help when it's necessary, which she is right |
Re: Should I Go Ahead And Marry Her With This Her Mindset? by Herlleymann: 12:49pm On Dec 17, 2020 |
I'm a man. 1. I appreciate the fact that my mum contributed to my upbringing. 2. I can never tell my sisters or daughters to see family responsibility as only for the man. 3. I find it stupid to reason. 4. I ll find it difficult to respect you if all what you can give me is a pussy and a womb. Side chicks and baby mama can do that. 5. I earn so so so so well, but I still can't marry someone who is not willing to contribute financially to her family. We are not just in the same frequency.
quote author=lanre9ja post=97122562]She's right, u are the man, she can only help when it necessary [/quote] 1 Like |
Re: Should I Go Ahead And Marry Her With This Her Mindset? by mardis: 12:55pm On Dec 17, 2020 |
NiRfreak:
Don't invest on her yet. Use the money to invest in yourself or your own personal business since you are going to bear the financial responsibility of the family. Use your head. Don't bring stress early in your marriage into ya life.
It seems she will respect you more when u have all the money and cater for the family exclusively . Create a business in ya own name and run it...so when u have enough money u can give away without feeling pained of the consequences, u may now give her to invest in herself. Thats even in the name of love Op thank this adviser very well because the advice strong very well. You can go ahead with the marriage but anything money shouldn't join you and her. |
Re: Should I Go Ahead And Marry Her With This Her Mindset? by Herlleymann: 12:55pm On Dec 17, 2020 |
I'm a man.
1. I appreciate the fact that my mum contributed to my upbringing. 2. I can never tell my sisters or daughters to see family responsibility as only for the man. 3. I find it stupid to reason. 4. I ll find it difficult to respect you if all what you can give me is a pussy and a womb. Side chicks and baby mama can do that. That's y some men find it easier to abuse their wifes, cuz they see them as property in every sense ( not giving excuse for those men) 5. I earn so so so so well, but I still can't marry someone who is not willing to contribute financially to her family. We are not just in the same frequency. 6. Don't feel bad, your parents and her parent her wrong. Nobody is interested in a load. Leave her, there are other good and sensible women out there. This one will raise your daughter to think like a load too. 3 Likes |
Re: Should I Go Ahead And Marry Her With This Her Mindset? by NoToPile: 12:57pm On Dec 17, 2020 |
generationz: Did you also discuss how you will share cooking and cleaning? Did you discuss how you will carry the pregnancy for two kids and she two kids? Because you men think women are completely useless and you who's only job is provide finances is leading a war between two countries.
You do know that a working wife is less likely to depend on her husband for money to buy the tiniest things for herself. It means what you earn will be able to go around for your family.
If you don't want to support her to start the business don't. You can see even your father supported her. She will work hard and establish herself and you will regret this decision in the long run. She has already said she is going to contribute when there is a need but that's not enough for you. Issokay. Loool @ 1stthe bolded, I wonder what his response will be. 2nd bolded he doesn't understand at all Let him invest his money in keke joor and get his returns. She will be fine with her business. |
Re: Should I Go Ahead And Marry Her With This Her Mindset? by HARDDON: 12:58pm On Dec 17, 2020 |
Op, you approached this sensitive topic wrongly and woke her defensive mechanism up. Now it will take some doing before you really dig up the core intents of her heart.
here is the deal from sporadic sampling of ladies' views on this topic:
1. Ladies feel alot of men are beginning to dwell so much on how much they earn and always try to direct them on how to spend same. They hate this.
2. A lady who really loves you would contribute to the home. You need not force it on them.
3. They would rather contribute between 10-30% of their income to the home and be left to spend the remaining how they deem fit( this part is what gets to them when guys bring talks like this up. it means he wants to Lord it over them and their finance).
Now that you have put the cart before the horse and even went, however wrongly, to sample opinions which you still sheepishly told her about, and have giving her stand more fuel, more gut, going forward, kindly ignore approaching this topic like you did.
Rather, silently find out if she is free handed. Create situations that would demand her letting something out of her purse for you. Watch how she gives in church , check if she pays her tithe, give to orphanages/people etc. If she is a natural giver, you have no worries, go right ahead and wify her.
But if she is tight fisted, errrm, need I say more?
Use this my ever sure test Income/Expenditure Template , seek her opinion and listen intently to her responses to the first 3. Chances are that ladies who are selfish would have a bone to bear with these:
Out of the 100% income Tithe 10% Save 10% Give 10% (parents, orphanages, promotes God's kingdom etc) Invest 40% live on 30%.
May the good God direct your paths on this journey that even your own parents have failed you. 4 Likes |
Re: Should I Go Ahead And Marry Her With This Her Mindset? by theFilmtric: 1:04pm On Dec 17, 2020 |
Zzor: Being a woman is enough contribution already, let the man take full charge of his responsibilities which is to PROVIDE you seem like a confused feminist ![undecided](https://www.nairaland.com/faces/undecided.png) theFilmtricsay |
Re: Should I Go Ahead And Marry Her With This Her Mindset? by iamdapsyj(m): 1:06pm On Dec 17, 2020 |
Zzor: I support her fully, it's a big turn off for a man to be asking hid wife to be such question,assist her if you can from your heart and I believe she's wise enough to know where and when to assist you as per responsibilities. I hate guys who throw such question,i have ignored a guy for this reason and till today he's still wondering what he did to me, don't give me the impression that your eyes are fixed on my money, its a big turn off Zzor, when it comes to marriage you better discuss every nitty gritty with your supposed spouse and matters of finance is very crucial. If he hadn't asked in an aggressive way though. We all have different upbringing which affects our way of thinking. I am glad this op is asking question before the marriage and not during the marriage which will be causing friction as it is for the op. Cheers!!! |
Re: Should I Go Ahead And Marry Her With This Her Mindset? by Horluseye(m): 1:07pm On Dec 17, 2020 |
GIANTPLUSHUB: This is parts of the reasons the rich will continue to marry the rich while the poor does the same. Your wife behaves like someone who hasn't worked hard for money before, so she doesn't have the mentality that someone that supported her business with his hard earned money needs to be supported too. Bro, trust me, she's said exactly what she would do and that's what will happen. Infact, it might even be worst. Have seen several of such cases to the extent of ordinary pencil, the lady will ask her daughter to wait for her dad.
See, here's my advice for you. Please, support her business but drastically reduce the support amount to like 300 to 500k and use the remaining to invest in yourself as you can see that, you now have a load of task ahead of you.
Once you support the business, guide her in upgrading to a larger space and more machines just the way you want. This, you aren't doing with your money but her money. Only advice and guide her.
Lastly, as times goes on. Bring in tactics towards her supporting the family. I wish you all the very best! Best advice so far, OP take note of this. 1 Like |
Re: Should I Go Ahead And Marry Her With This Her Mindset? by MondayOsunbor(m): 1:11pm On Dec 17, 2020 |
Anoymus: I have a girlfriend I am meaning to propose to during the festive period, she's everything I want in a woman except few exception which might be a hindrance to the proposal. Gist is, my babe is a graduate but lack of work made her to learn fashion designing, she's done with the training and she's very good with what she does.
After marriage, I have told her that I'll assist in her business, I'm planning to get a bigger shop space for her and equip it with modern day machines, tools and tailoring materials goods to help make her work lucrative. I'm budgeting about 1.2-1.5m for this.
The issue now is that, 3 days ago, I asked her what her role would be if eventually after marriage she gets the shop, equipments and all, where she would come in in terms of responsibilities in the house. Her reply was she doesn't want to assume any responsibility and that it's my duty to cater for the family and she can only help & I shouldn't make anything compulsory for her. So many thoughts came through my mind. One of it was that, where the proceeds of her investment would be going to if I should shoulder all the responsibilities in the house knowing fully well that she makes money.
I rang my mum and told her of her response, I was shocked that she backed her saying that I shouldn't have asked her to foot anything in the house that it was my sole responsibility as a man to cater for my family my wife inclusive. My dad too, same thing. Even told my gf mum about it too , she giggled and said I shouldn't have asked her n that it's my duty to provide for my family. They all sounded foreign to me. Or am I the one not understanding?
My question now is, why invest that kind of money in her when I'm not sure of getting little or nothing in terms in return help to run the family. That sum of money could get me 4 brand new bikes and 2 neatly used Keke Napep for transportation business. I'm sure I'll be getting returns from these investment weekly or monthly basis.
I don't want who wouldn't have any sense of responsibility at home after investing in her, even if she's covering 10% or 5% I wouldn't mind. Mere helping doesn't go down well with me, she might have and decide not to give out. I rather not invest at all and expect nothing from her.
I don't know if I'm the one over thinking this things or my parent and her mum aren't seeing things from my perspective or am I being inconsiderate?
Criticism, Insults and bashing are welcomed. Thanks Oga good morning This is what every Nigerian man meet after wedding 1 Like |
Re: Should I Go Ahead And Marry Her With This Her Mindset? by generationz(f): 1:23pm On Dec 17, 2020 |
NoToPile:
Loool @ 1stthe bolded, I wonder what his response will be.
2nd bolded he doesn't understand at all
Let him invest his money in keke joor and get his returns.
She will be fine with her business. Exactly. She will find a way to become big if she's smart. People are in desperate need of good tailors and she can advertise her work on Instagram and Facebook. Then she will "pepper" him. 1 Like |
Re: Should I Go Ahead And Marry Her With This Her Mindset? by Hassanmaye(m): 1:23pm On Dec 17, 2020 |
NiRfreak:
Don't invest on her yet. Use the money to invest in yourself or your own personal business since you are going to bear the financial responsibility of the family. Use your head. Don't bring stress early in your marriage into ya life.
It seems she will respect you more when u have all the money and cater for the family exclusively . Create a business in ya own name and run it...so when u have enough money u can give away without feeling pained of the consequences, u may now give her to invest in herself. Thats even in the name of love God bless you sir another alpha male that reason like real men. 1 Like |
Re: Should I Go Ahead And Marry Her With This Her Mindset? by NoToPile: 1:25pm On Dec 17, 2020 |
EKEKPROHJACKSO: We are missing something in this generation, as Christians if you studying your Bible very well, there is no place it tell us that the responsibility of the house is for the husband. See what the bible say concerning both families First Is not good for man to be Alone,let me give him a helper that we sut for him 2 is not good for man to be alone Cox two are better than one, if one fall the other one will raise him up. The Bible referring to woman as house wife you need to help ur husband in everything 3,Man love your wife 4, Wife Submitte to your man. You can see it now that the responsibility of the house is not for the man alone. In this generation they advised us not to married a woman that's not working. If I may ask why ask not do so? Answer so that help may come from both the two side thanks. Your own bible does not have the part that says A man that CANNOT provide for his own household is worse than an infidel. 2 Likes |
Re: Should I Go Ahead And Marry Her With This Her Mindset? by Hassanmaye(m): 1:27pm On Dec 17, 2020 |
davien: Dangote, Dangote, Dangote, still dey find money oh.
op dey, op dey, op dey, build shop for woman oh.
Who go lose? Who go lose? Who go lose when she no fit run am?
I no dey beg anybody oh, make you check am yourself see oh.
Get sense oh, get sense oh, man wey invest in himself no dey miss road oh.. this woman no view you as man to help him life oh, na you be plan B be that.
Look at how you are sounding sarcastic I hope before a pekus has scam you before. That's why you are wise now Abi lol |
Re: Should I Go Ahead And Marry Her With This Her Mindset? by valirex: 1:34pm On Dec 17, 2020 |
Anoymus: I have a girlfriend I am meaning to propose to during the festive period, she's everything I want in a woman except few exception which might be a hindrance to the proposal. Gist is, my babe is a graduate but lack of work made her to learn fashion designing, she's done with the training and she's very good with what she does.
After marriage, I have told her that I'll assist in her business, I'm planning to get a bigger shop space for her and equip it with modern day machines, tools and tailoring materials goods to help make her work lucrative. I'm budgeting about 1.2-1.5m for this.
The issue now is that, 3 days ago, I asked her what her role would be if eventually after marriage she gets the shop, equipments and all, where she would come in in terms of responsibilities in the house. Her reply was she doesn't want to assume any responsibility and that it's my duty to cater for the family and she can only help & I shouldn't make anything compulsory for her. So many thoughts came through my mind. One of it was that, where the proceeds of her investment would be going to if I should shoulder all the responsibilities in the house knowing fully well that she makes money.
I rang my mum and told her of her response, I was shocked that she backed her saying that I shouldn't have asked her to foot anything in the house that it was my sole responsibility as a man to cater for my family my wife inclusive. My dad too, same thing. Even told my gf mum about it too , she giggled and said I shouldn't have asked her n that it's my duty to provide for my family. They all sounded foreign to me. Or am I the one not understanding?
My question now is, why invest that kind of money in her when I'm not sure of getting little or nothing in terms in return help to run the family. That sum of money could get me 4 brand new bikes and 2 neatly used Keke Napep for transportation business. I'm sure I'll be getting returns from these investment weekly or monthly basis.
I don't want who wouldn't have any sense of responsibility at home after investing in her, even if she's covering 10% or 5% I wouldn't mind. Mere helping doesn't go down well with me, she might have and decide not to give out. I rather not invest at all and expect nothing from her.
I don't know if I'm the one over thinking this things or my parent and her mum aren't seeing things from my perspective or am I being inconsiderate?
Criticism, Insults and bashing are welcomed. Thanks If you'll take my advice, leave her. You need a woman you can rely on |
Re: Should I Go Ahead And Marry Her With This Her Mindset? by Omoobong1(m): 1:51pm On Dec 17, 2020 |
[quote author=Anoymus post=97121694] till tomorrow, I'm still trying to figure out what married women do with their money. You're doing well and your wife is also doing well but you're the one footing all the bills. |
Re: Should I Go Ahead And Marry Her With This Her Mindset? by KenModi(m): 1:52pm On Dec 17, 2020 |
Zzor: Is he marrying her for gains, why have are you men becoming leeches smh But it is okay if you women marry men for gains right? Leeches everywhere!! |
Re: Should I Go Ahead And Marry Her With This Her Mindset? by mrdino(m): 1:57pm On Dec 17, 2020 |
In my honest opinion, most ladies of this present generation will not give you an honest answer to that question. Personally, I would rather judge a woman based on her behaviour/attitude that I must have observed for a considerably long time and also some few tests on character, such as
1. Empathy or general behaviour towards her man, when he's broke. Does her respect, love or support for you reduces drastically when you are broke?
2. General attitude towards material things. Is she unnecessarily stingy or clingy when it comes to material things? E.g, when you request for a small part of an amount of money you recently gave her.
3. Genuine fear of God (not necessarily being religious).
4. Gratitude.
Ladies tend to be more intuitive rather than being logical. She probably gave you that response, in order to put herself in a more comfortable position, but she may not really mean it.
In summary, it would be better to base your judgement on her attitude/character rather than on one foolish response 3 Likes |
Re: Should I Go Ahead And Marry Her With This Her Mindset? by mrdino(m): 1:58pm On Dec 17, 2020 |
In my honest opinion, most ladies of this present generation will not give you an honest answer to that question. Personally, I would rather judge a woman based on her behaviour/attitude that I must have observed for a considerably long time and also some few tests on character, such as
1. Empathy or general behaviour towards her man, when he's broke. Does her respect, love or support for you reduces drastically when you are broke?
2. General attitude towards material things. Is she unnecessarily stingy or clingy when it comes to material things? E.g, when you request for a small part of an amount of money you recently gave her.
3. Genuine fear of God (not necessarily being religious).
4. Gratitude.
Ladies tend to be more intuitive rather than being logical. She probably gave you that response, in order to put herself in a more comfortable position, but she may not really mean it.
In summary, it would be better to base your judgement on her attitude/character rather than on her foolish response. |
Re: Should I Go Ahead And Marry Her With This Her Mindset? by Hassanmaye(m): 2:03pm On Dec 17, 2020 |
Franktom247: 1.4million will buy 4 keke napep e be like say na goodluck jonathan be your president enter market make you price as for you and your babe matter i cannot help you because mordern day marriage or relationship na scam Lol the man is dreaming I think one keke is 800k now. Old use nko na around 450k correct one not korkoro one. And lastly my man please get married by all means abeg how do you think our IMO girls go marry if everyone want to have a baby mama ![shocked](https://www.nairaland.com/faces/shocked.gif) |
Re: Should I Go Ahead And Marry Her With This Her Mindset? by Hassanmaye(m): 2:07pm On Dec 17, 2020 |
Modan: Do u know tomorrow?what if things u just finished a project and u are little broke?so she will still leave u to bear all responsibilities?this is a strong red light for u...I had no job for the first five years of my marriage and my wife carried every responsibilities in love and now I have multiple streams of income to cater for my family..red light loading bro Which girl bro I hope you are not referring to our Nigerian women, if she is a Nigerian guy you don't know what God has done for you. Tufiakwa five years don't ever think of disrespecting that wife even in your dreams, Nigerian girls that will leave you after one month of set back even if you have been spending your life savings on her for decades. Once again sir congratulations. 1 Like |
Re: Should I Go Ahead And Marry Her With This Her Mindset? by Hassanmaye(m): 2:08pm On Dec 17, 2020 |
Tango123: I canmot live in a house with a woman that contributes nothing.
If u begin that after marriage, that is reason for divorce
If u sjow me that attitide before marriage, i wont marry u no more
OP, God has revealed who she is to u
Marry her and know her money is hers for make up and clothes and hair and her family, while u slave to death
And when she looks too good for u, she will dump u and marry a richer man
I know i WONT marry a parasite. Thank God for the woman i married. She contributes according to her earning power. Anyday she decides to stop, end of marriage (she is not that kind of womn though)
Another lucky man again abeg where did you meet your wife help a brother let me go search my luck |
Re: Should I Go Ahead And Marry Her With This Her Mindset? by Kellydboss(m): 2:14pm On Dec 17, 2020 |
Anoymus: I have a girlfriend I am meaning to propose to during the festive period, she's everything I want in a woman except few exception which might be a hindrance to the proposal. Gist is, my babe is a graduate but lack of work made her to learn fashion designing, she's done with the training and she's very good with what she does.
After marriage, I have told her that I'll assist in her business, I'm planning to get a bigger shop space for her and equip it with modern day machines, tools and tailoring materials goods to help make her work lucrative. I'm budgeting about 1.2-1.5m for this.
The issue now is that, 3 days ago, I asked her what her role would be if eventually after marriage she gets the shop, equipments and all, where she would come in in terms of responsibilities in the house. Her reply was she doesn't want to assume any responsibility and that it's my duty to cater for the family and she can only help & I shouldn't make anything compulsory for her. So many thoughts came through my mind. One of it was that, where the proceeds of her investment would be going to if I should shoulder all the responsibilities in the house knowing fully well that she makes money.
I rang my mum and told her of her response, I was shocked that she backed her saying that I shouldn't have asked her to foot anything in the house that it was my sole responsibility as a man to cater for my family my wife inclusive. My dad too, same thing. Even told my gf mum about it too , she giggled and said I shouldn't have asked her n that it's my duty to provide for my family. They all sounded foreign to me. Or am I the one not understanding?
My question now is, why invest that kind of money in her when I'm not sure of getting little or nothing in terms in return help to run the family. That sum of money could get me 4 brand new bikes and 2 neatly used Keke Napep for transportation business. I'm sure I'll be getting returns from these investment weekly or monthly basis.
I don't want who wouldn't have any sense of responsibility at home after investing in her, even if she's covering 10% or 5% I wouldn't mind. Mere helping doesn't go down well with me, she might have and decide not to give out. I rather not invest at all and expect nothing from her.
I don't know if I'm the one over thinking this things or my parent and her mum aren't seeing things from my perspective or am I being inconsiderate?
Criticism, Insults and bashing are welcomed. Thanks The question is must you marry her? The last time I checked one bro said that marriage has nothing to offer a man we're just taking on a responsiblity to be a provider and nothing more women gain more in marriage so bro if you cannot come to this terms free her and enjoy your life with your hard earned money.. I rest my case! 1 Like |
Re: Should I Go Ahead And Marry Her With This Her Mindset? by Nobody: 2:16pm On Dec 17, 2020 |
generationz:
Exactly. She will find a way to become big if she's smart. People are in desperate need of good tailors and she can advertise her work on Instagram and Facebook. Then she will "pepper" him. Pepper him with what? |
Re: Should I Go Ahead And Marry Her With This Her Mindset? by Nobody: 2:19pm On Dec 17, 2020 |
Hassanmaye:
Lol the man is dreaming I think one keke is 800k now. Old use nko na around 450k correct one not korkoro one. And lastly my man please get married by all means abeg how do you think our IMO girls go marry if everyone want to have a baby mama ![shocked](https://www.nairaland.com/faces/shocked.gif) He said 2 Keke. Read OPs post again. 1 Like |
Re: Should I Go Ahead And Marry Her With This Her Mindset? by opapapilo(m): 2:19pm On Dec 17, 2020 |
[color=#006600][/color] Anoymus: I have a girlfriend I am meaning to propose to during the festive period, she's everything I want in a woman except few exception which might be a hindrance to the proposal. Gist is, my babe is a graduate but lack of work made her to learn fashion designing, she's done with the training and she's very good with what she does.
After marriage, I have told her that I'll assist in her business, I'm planning to get a bigger shop space for her and equip it with modern day machines, tools and tailoring materials goods to help make her work lucrative. I'm budgeting about 1.2-1.5m for this.
The issue now is that, 3 days ago, I asked her what her role would be if eventually after marriage she gets the shop, equipments and all, where she would come in in terms of responsibilities in the house. Her reply was she doesn't want to assume any responsibility and that it's my duty to cater for the family and she can only help & I shouldn't make anything compulsory for her. So many thoughts came through my mind. One of it was that, where the proceeds of her investment would be going to if I should shoulder all the responsibilities in the house knowing fully well that she makes money.
I rang my mum and told her of her response, I was shocked that she backed her saying that I shouldn't have asked her to foot anything in the house that it was my sole responsibility as a man to cater for my family my wife inclusive. My dad too, same thing. Even told my gf mum about it too , she giggled and said I shouldn't have asked her n that it's my duty to provide for my family. They all sounded foreign to me. Or am I the one not understanding?
My question now is, why invest that kind of money in her when I'm not sure of getting little or nothing in terms in return help to run the family. That sum of money could get me 4 brand new bikes and 2 neatly used Keke Napep for transportation business. I'm sure I'll be getting returns from these investment weekly or monthly basis.
I don't want who wouldn't have any sense of responsibility at home after investing in her, even if she's covering 10% or 5% I wouldn't mind. Mere helping doesn't go down well with me, she might have and decide not to give out. I rather not invest at all and expect nothing from her.
I don't know if I'm the one over thinking this things or my parent and her mum aren't seeing things from my perspective or am I being inconsiderate?
Criticism, Insults and bashing are welcomed. Thanks Na Wa for ur babe o....Ur Babe is jst being selfish bro or probably stingy.....But we hav some babes dat do take of care of der guys nah, buying many tinz for hin apartment...at least make she jst assist wif lil tinz...africans mentality self....Na husband con come life con suffer...dats y some of dem dey tay for der papa ouse....na dis mumu mentality |
Re: Should I Go Ahead And Marry Her With This Her Mindset? by davien(m): 2:19pm On Dec 17, 2020 |
Hassanmaye:
Look at how you are sounding sarcastic I hope before a pekus has scam you before. That's why you are wise now Abi lol scammed me Wella oh, I did it all. Today I wise die because of it. |
Re: Should I Go Ahead And Marry Her With This Her Mindset? by earthrealm(m): 2:21pm On Dec 17, 2020 |
erico2k2:
if ur wife does not not support you in any shape or form you will struggle unless u r mega rich Lolz, you need to understand women, and sift tru their words.not everything that comes from a womans mouth that you should take serious. No GOOD woman would see a need in her husbands home, and look the other way, unless the need is huge/bigger than her or the husband is stingy. Comot eye from ya wife money, guy men husbands know how to chop their wife money without it being an issue or the woman raising eyebrows. Poster appears a bit inexperienced ![grin](https://www.nairaland.com/faces/grin.png) Poster committed a huge gaffe by asking that question. Some things are better left unsaid/unasked. |
Re: Should I Go Ahead And Marry Her With This Her Mindset? by Kazim88: 2:21pm On Dec 17, 2020 |
studentofTruth:
She may never agree to this. She may want to be in full control of the business. Most traditional women are not responsible even for their business. Even if you set them up, you would still be re-funding the business because of reoccurring loss. |
Re: Should I Go Ahead And Marry Her With This Her Mindset? by erico2k2(m): 2:29pm On Dec 17, 2020 |
earthrealm:
Lolz, you need to understand women, and sift tru their words.not everything that comes from a womans mouth that you should take serious.
No GOOD woman would see a need in her husbands home, and look the other way, unless the need is huge/bigger than her or the husband is stingy. Comot eye from ya wife money, guy men husbands know how to chop their wife without it being an issue or the woman raising eyebrows.
Poster appears a bit inexperienced ![grin](https://www.nairaland.com/faces/grin.png)
Poster committed a huge gaffe by asking that question. Some things are better left unsaid/unasked. These are the things that make marriages fail these days, people lack the moral understanding of having a conversation, These days you and ur wife need have a joint bank account, you want ur kids to do well better than both of you |
Re: Should I Go Ahead And Marry Her With This Her Mindset? by erico2k2(m): 2:29pm On Dec 17, 2020 |
Kazim88:
Most traditional women are not responsible even for their business.
Even if you set them up, you would still be re-funding the business because of reoccurring loss.
cos they cant do business simply put! |