erico2k2:

These are the things that make marriages fail these days, people lack the moral understanding of having a conversation, These days you and ur wife need have a joint bank account, you want ur kids to do well better than both of you

erico2k2:

These are the things that make marriages fail these days, people lack the moral understanding of having a conversation, These days you and ur wife need have a joint bank account, you want ur kids to do well better than both of you

Anoymus:
I have a girlfriend I am meaning to propose to during the festive period, she's everything I want in a woman except few exception which might be a hindrance to the proposal.
Gist is, my babe is a graduate but lack of work made her to learn fashion designing, she's done with the training and she's very good with what she does.

After marriage, I have told her that I'll assist in her business, I'm planning to get a bigger shop space for her and equip it with modern day machines, tools and tailoring materials goods to help make her work lucrative. I'm budgeting about 1.2-1.5m for this.

The issue now is that, 3 days ago, I asked her what her role would be if eventually after marriage she gets the shop, equipments and all, where she would come in in terms of responsibilities in the house. Her reply was she doesn't want to assume any responsibility and that it's my duty to cater for the family and she can only help & I shouldn't make anything compulsory for her. So many thoughts came through my mind. One of it was that, where the proceeds of her investment would be going to if I should shoulder all the responsibilities in the house knowing fully well that she makes money.

I rang my mum and told her of her response, I was shocked that she backed her saying that I shouldn't have asked her to foot anything in the house that it was my sole responsibility as a man to cater for my family my wife inclusive. My dad too, same thing. Even told my gf mum about it too , she giggled and said I shouldn't have asked her n that it's my duty to provide for my family. They all sounded foreign to me. Or am I the one not understanding?

My question now is, why invest that kind of money in her when I'm not sure of getting little or nothing in terms in return help to run the family. That sum of money could get me 4 brand new bikes and 2 neatly used Keke Napep for transportation business. I'm sure I'll be getting returns from these investment weekly or monthly basis.

I don't want who wouldn't have any sense of responsibility at home after investing in her, even if she's covering 10% or 5% I wouldn't mind. Mere helping doesn't go down well with me, she might have and decide not to give out. I rather not invest at all and expect nothing from her.

I don't know if I'm the one over thinking this things or my parent and her mum aren't seeing things from my perspective or am I being inconsiderate?

Criticism, Insults and bashing are welcomed. Thanks

Anoymus:
I have a girlfriend I am meaning to propose to during the festive period, she's everything I want in a woman except few exception which might be a hindrance to the proposal.
Gist is, my babe is a graduate but lack of work made her to learn fashion designing, she's done with the training and she's very good with what she does.

After marriage, I have told her that I'll assist in her business, I'm planning to get a bigger shop space for her and equip it with modern day machines, tools and tailoring materials goods to help make her work lucrative. I'm budgeting about 1.2-1.5m for this.

The issue now is that, 3 days ago, I asked her what her role would be if eventually after marriage she gets the shop, equipments and all, where she would come in in terms of responsibilities in the house. Her reply was she doesn't want to assume any responsibility and that it's my duty to cater for the family and she can only help & I shouldn't make anything compulsory for her. So many thoughts came through my mind. One of it was that, where the proceeds of her investment would be going to if I should shoulder all the responsibilities in the house knowing fully well that she makes money.

I rang my mum and told her of her response, I was shocked that she backed her saying that I shouldn't have asked her to foot anything in the house that it was my sole responsibility as a man to cater for my family my wife inclusive. My dad too, same thing. Even told my gf mum about it too , she giggled and said I shouldn't have asked her n that it's my duty to provide for my family. They all sounded foreign to me. Or am I the one not understanding?

My question now is, why invest that kind of money in her when I'm not sure of getting little or nothing in terms in return help to run the family. That sum of money could get me 4 brand new bikes and 2 neatly used Keke Napep for transportation business. I'm sure I'll be getting returns from these investment weekly or monthly basis.

I don't want who wouldn't have any sense of responsibility at home after investing in her, even if she's covering 10% or 5% I wouldn't mind. Mere helping doesn't go down well with me, she might have and decide not to give out. I rather not invest at all and expect nothing from her.

I don't know if I'm the one over thinking this things or my parent and her mum aren't seeing things from my perspective or am I being inconsiderate?

Criticism, Insults and bashing are welcomed. Thanks

Liliantalks:
What one Igbo man told me ,
Me - why are many Igbo men very selfless when spending for their wife even tho they hv their own business
Him - because an Igbo man understands that what ever she uses her own money for , is still helping him , cause she’s my responsibility and if she’s using her money to get more clothes , shoes , bags , catering for her family, she’s also helping me , if she using her money on her kids , which are also my kids , she’s also helping me . What ever she’s uses her money for is beneficial to me. A handsome young man from anambra state .

Georgejeez:

The keke importer has spoken . Case closed . Igbo kwenu!!

Hassanmaye:

Another lucky man again abeg where did you meet your wife help a brother let me go search my luck

Olakunleyakub:
I don't know you in person but instinct is always telling me that you will be a loyal, responsible and blessed wife to whoever that seems it fit to settle down with you based on some of ur comments av been seeing for a while here.

No doubt, we are not compatible in terms of religion, age and some little aspect of life but the truth is that I cherish your personality and pls keep it up. The right person that will be a coolness of your eyes will locate you soon.


To the op,
Pls never settle for less or self woman whou does not have any attributes of a sense of responsibility or else it will end in premium premium tears.

Truly, it is a men duty to take care of there family without expecting anything in return but a reasonable and responsible woman should understand that we needs to Help her husband once in a while if there is a need to.

I bid you best of luck in your marital journey!

Anoymus:

Thanks for your input bro. And as for the question you asked, she is trying, surprises me with gift once a while but I don't think she would be an enduring type when the chips are down. I have had instances where I spent 15k (drugs inclusive) to remove her troublesome decay tooth just 3 days after I gave her 4k to make her hair. She complained saying the 4k won't be enough for the style that she wants to make. Had to add 1500 before she happily hugged me and gave me a peck. Person wey I spend 15k to commot tooth 3 days after the hair incident. Thought she would be greatful and cut her cloth according to their cloth instead of nagging.. But according to her, she loves me very much and I do too

earthrealm:


Their is no one size fits all shoe in marriage,
People shudnt copy whatever, cos they saw mr A doing it,

Joint acct dey sweet if both spouse have better job/biz and are remitting similar amounts to the acct.

I doubt ypu would be pushing for joint acct is you earn 1m per month and wifey earns 30k.......... Anyway, what do i know

99Dandy:
I'm not supposed to say this. But due to the anonymity of nairaland, i will say it to help my fellow nairalanders.

My father has been warning me since i can remember about the qualities a man should look for in a wife. A dependent wife is one of the qualities to flee from. My mom is such a woman as your wife-to-be, i'm the second born and i'm 21 years old, but my parents still had an argument just yesterday night over the same issue they've been having. She always laments that my father doesn't do enough. Mind you, my father built the house from the ground up, he pays the school fees of 4 children, he pays the Nepa bills, he buys the food and any other bills that comes up. But since my father's job is a type of job where he gets paid based on contracts, the income is not always steady. So when he is able, he buys food and stocks the house with food as much as possible. Meanwhile my mother on the other side only gives my junior ones #500 to school everyday and carries the burden of food when my father doesn't get any contract. Now, this wouldn't be a problem since sometimes, things can be tough for my father, and my mom does buy food. But her constant complaining and unwillingness to receive advice, always saying the same thing over and over is the problem. She says that my father is useless because she's the one bearing the load of the food temporarily. Her whole business, everything she has, her training, her tools, her workspace, everything was and is sponsored by my dad. But she still expects him to bear all the load of the house. Anytime my father asks her what she wants to do in the house. She keeps quiet and acts like she's a victim.

The story is deeper and more frustrating than this if i tell you the full story. This is just her best feature that i told you. If i tell you the full. U fit vex pass me.

Summary:

Bro, bro....i beg you with all my power. If i can collect ur no. I will collect it and tell you physically. Sometimes its not always clear on what to do with someone you love. But if she has any of these qualities i am about to list. FLEE FROM THE WOMAN!
Open your two ears properly and listen. This is no joke. There is no i love you there!. U will hate your life, ur children will hate themselves, Ur life will be miserable. U would be filled with so much regret and hate yourself so much that suicide or killing the woman will seem like a better option.

These are the basic/fundamentals that should not to tampered with or are set in stone by God. If a woman lacks any of these with even the slightest. I don't care if you are a Muslim or Christian. RUN from that woman and don't look back. Your marriage is not only a decision that will affect you, but also your children and your family. If you want to doom your family and children. Break these principles. Remember and don't forget that you cannot change a woman that didn't receive correction in her father's house. These are the basicsof any woman:

1. She must have a heart of correction. (She must be able to identify when she is wrong and have the desire to change. If not, she will frustrate you to the point of suicide and murder(not a joke)).

2. She must not be lazy. (I don't care if you love her. If you tell me physically that you are willing to overlook it. I'll slap you with aggression just to make my point. The mother is the foundation of the home. Not only will she be a nuisance in the house. Your children will also emulate her. This is not indian film or telenovela. This is a fact which i have experienced first hand. Your children will not only be lazy with physical work, but also education. They would be too lazy to learn anything. Remember again, you cannot change someone because the person loves you).

3. She must be God-fearing.( This has nothing to do with religion. I don't care whether you are a Muslim or Hindi or Christian. This is basic because there are some fundamental things which all people should fear and avoid. If your wife does not fear or respect their husband, anyone or anything. They just act like animals and do as they wish. This is a red flag. Pay attention to the subtle signs before you marry!. You would have noticed some little subtle things before. Just like my father did. Don't ignore it like my father did.)

4. She must not be dirty.( This one triggers me. My nairaland brothers. If you can relate. Like this post. Some women will dispose their sanitary pad on the toilet floor, will not flush, will soak pant in the toilet for days, will never throw the used sachet of water or anything in the toilet, will not wash plate e.t.c all of these disgusting things in one human being. See, if you say u can tolerate her like that or you can change her. U're going to regret it till your deathbed. Take heed, pay attention. I will remind you again. YOU CANNOT CHANGE YOUR WIFE AFTER YOU MARRY HER!

5. She must have respect. (Fear disrespectful women. Not the cute kind of disrespect that ur babe will call u ode, or big head. My girl does that and it's adorable. But some women won't mind dragging you outside to the street because their is no money for soup. Some women will fight you physically and have no shame and nothing to lose in shaming you and the whole family. It's not their fault, thats how they were raised, and i don't blame them. For your sake and for the sake of your family and for the sake of your unborn children. FLEE FROM THE DEVIL, THE SHE DRAGON! (No joke). People like this won't mind shaming you or your parents. You would have noticed some subtle things. Pay attention, and don't ignore it. I beg you

6. She must be a virtuose woman. ( I've said this before. They say that if a child is good, he belongs to his father and if he's bad, He belongs to the mother. This is true, and based on the premise that the woman is the foundation of the family. Don't take those words lightly. If you noticed that maybe your wife is selfish with money, or she doesn't mind you facing something yourself or is not caring sometimes about you.....my brothers, she will not change. And that's how she is going to be for your children. She isn't going to mind not paying for your children's school fees. She would rather use the money to pay for her own debt rather than to pay for your childrens school fees. A virtuose woman is all round, as she is cooking for the family, she is attending to her business so that she will be able to pay for your children's school fees if u are unable to. As she's working in shop, she's checking time so she's not late for mosque or church. Don't ignore this feature)

These just came out of the top of my head. I am not wrong, because i've witnessed these first hand. This is not some blog that can be right or wrong. Don't play with these. If you do, you'll end up in frustration. If you know of your uncle that changed his wife after his marriage. Look beneath the surface. And if you know of someone that changed the wife after marriage, and you are 100% sure of it. That is a 1 in a 1000000 occurrence. Ask any married nairalander or any married man. They'll tell you. Advice is freely given. If you're not going to follow, do it at your risk, that of your family, and that of your children. I'm passionate about it. That's why i emphasize on it. I've witnessed it. So you can trust what i'm saying. And if you don't believe. Just ask any elder close to you for advice. Remember, the eyes of elders have seen things, that's why they're like that(its a proverb).

And if you are already married. And you're contemplating on divorce. God does not support it. But that doesn't mean you have to live with the woman. If she has these things. You should not only think about the impact of the union on yourself, but also on the children. The best thing to do after trying to solve your marriage issues for years to no avail is to separate. If you can handle the frustration, it's fine. But your children will bear the responsibilities of your action. Think deeply about it. My heart and prayers are with you. Tm

Anoymus:
I have a girlfriend I am meaning to propose to during the festive period, she's everything I want in a woman except few exception which might be a hindrance to the proposal.
Gist is, my babe is a graduate but lack of work made her to learn fashion designing, she's done with the training and she's very good with what she does.

Anoymus:
I have a girlfriend I am meaning to propose to during the festive period, she's everything I want in a woman except few exception which might be a hindrance to the proposal.
Gist is, my babe is a graduate but lack of work made her to learn fashion designing, she's done with the training and she's very good with what she does.

After marriage, I have told her that I'll assist in her business, I'm planning to get a bigger shop space for her and equip it with modern day machines, tools and tailoring materials goods to help make her work lucrative. I'm budgeting about 1.2-1.5m for this.

The issue now is that, 3 days ago, I asked her what her role would be if eventually after marriage she gets the shop, equipments and all, where she would come in in terms of responsibilities in the house. Her reply was she doesn't want to assume any responsibility and that it's my duty to cater for the family and she can only help & I shouldn't make anything compulsory for her. So many thoughts came through my mind. One of it was that, where the proceeds of her investment would be going to if I should shoulder all the responsibilities in the house knowing fully well that she makes money.

I rang my mum and told her of her response, I was shocked that she backed her saying that I shouldn't have asked her to foot anything in the house that it was my sole responsibility as a man to cater for my family my wife inclusive. My dad too, same thing. Even told my gf mum about it too , she giggled and said I shouldn't have asked her n that it's my duty to provide for my family. They all sounded foreign to me. Or am I the one not understanding?

My question now is, why invest that kind of money in her when I'm not sure of getting little or nothing in terms in return help to run the family. That sum of money could get me 4 brand new bikes and 2 neatly used Keke Napep for transportation business. I'm sure I'll be getting returns from these investment weekly or monthly basis.

I don't want who wouldn't have any sense of responsibility at home after investing in her, even if she's covering 10% or 5% I wouldn't mind. Mere helping doesn't go down well with me, she might have and decide not to give out. I rather not invest at all and expect nothing from her.

I don't know if I'm the one over thinking this things or my parent and her mum aren't seeing things from my perspective or am I being inconsiderate?

Criticism, Insults and bashing are welcomed. Thanks

Anoymus:
I have a girlfriend I am meaning to propose to during the festive period, she's everything I want in a woman except few exception which might be a hindrance to the proposal.
Gist is, my babe is a graduate but lack of work made her to learn fashion designing, she's done with the training and she's very good with what she does.

After marriage, I have told her that I'll assist in her business, I'm planning to get a bigger shop space for her and equip it with modern day machines, tools and tailoring materials goods to help make her work lucrative. I'm budgeting about 1.2-1.5m for this.

The issue now is that, 3 days ago, I asked her what her role would be if eventually after marriage she gets the shop, equipments and all, where she would come in in terms of responsibilities in the house. Her reply was she doesn't want to assume any responsibility and that it's my duty to cater for the family and she can only help & I shouldn't make anything compulsory for her. So many thoughts came through my mind. One of it was that, where the proceeds of her investment would be going to if I should shoulder all the responsibilities in the house knowing fully well that she makes money.

I rang my mum and told her of her response, I was shocked that she backed her saying that I shouldn't have asked her to foot anything in the house that it was my sole responsibility as a man to cater for my family my wife inclusive. My dad too, same thing. Even told my gf mum about it too , she giggled and said I shouldn't have asked her n that it's my duty to provide for my family. They all sounded foreign to me. Or am I the one not understanding?

My question now is, why invest that kind of money in her when I'm not sure of getting little or nothing in terms in return help to run the family. That sum of money could get me 4 brand new bikes and 2 neatly used Keke Napep for transportation business. I'm sure I'll be getting returns from these investment weekly or monthly basis.

I don't want who wouldn't have any sense of responsibility at home after investing in her, even if she's covering 10% or 5% I wouldn't mind. Mere helping doesn't go down well with me, she might have and decide not to give out. I rather not invest at all and expect nothing from her.

I don't know if I'm the one over thinking this things or my parent and her mum aren't seeing things from my perspective or am I being inconsiderate?

Criticism, Insults and bashing are welcomed. Thanks

Dliquidmetal:
I dont know about others o but even if I'm a billionaire tomorrow and I decide to get married,I would still wont like it if my wife dosent contribute anything into the union cause its gonna be one side and that mean say the babe no even really love me b4. I would advice you to sit her down and make her reason from your perspective the world has advanced pass those level wey na only man go dey stress himself even economy tough. Marriage is a lifetime something and what you know isnt okay with you now about your partner wouldn't change once you marry(which is a bondage to me anyway)

Snaagg:
Are you destined to be unfortunate?
what's the point of marrying her? what do you stand to gain?

If your duty is to provide and feed her and her poverty-stricken family members, what is her own duty to you?

Nazgul:
She's a very selfish person. I hate girls that reason that way. How can you look at a guy who invested 1.5m on you, married you, housed you, feeds you and tell him that you won't contribute to the home?

She has clearly told you that you stand to benefit nothing from her if you go ahead with the marriage plans.

Whatever action you decide to take is up to you.

Modan:
Do u know tomorrow?what if things u just finished a project and u are little broke?so she will still leave u to bear all responsibilities?this is a strong red light for u...I had no job for the first five years of my marriage and my wife carried every responsibilities in love and now I have multiple streams of income to cater for my family..red light loading bro

Anoymus:
I have a girlfriend I am meaning to propose to during the festive period, she's everything I want in a woman except few exception which might be a hindrance to the proposal.
Gist is, my babe is a graduate but lack of work made her to learn fashion designing, she's done with the training and she's very good with what she does.

After marriage, I have told her that I'll assist in her business, I'm planning to get a bigger shop space for her and equip it with modern day machines, tools and tailoring materials goods to help make her work lucrative. I'm budgeting about 1.2-1.5m for this.

The issue now is that, 3 days ago, I asked her what her role would be if eventually after marriage she gets the shop, equipments and all, where she would come in in terms of responsibilities in the house. Her reply was she doesn't want to assume any responsibility and that it's my duty to cater for the family and she can only help & I shouldn't make anything compulsory for her. So many thoughts came through my mind. One of it was that, where the proceeds of her investment would be going to if I should shoulder all the responsibilities in the house knowing fully well that she makes money.

I rang my mum and told her of her response, I was shocked that she backed her saying that I shouldn't have asked her to foot anything in the house that it was my sole responsibility as a man to cater for my family my wife inclusive. My dad too, same thing. Even told my gf mum about it too , she giggled and said I shouldn't have asked her n that it's my duty to provide for my family. They all sounded foreign to me. Or am I the one not understanding?

My question now is, why invest that kind of money in her when I'm not sure of getting little or nothing in terms in return help to run the family. That sum of money could get me 4 brand new bikes and 2 neatly used Keke Napep for transportation business. I'm sure I'll be getting returns from these investment weekly or monthly basis.

I don't want who wouldn't have any sense of responsibility at home after investing in her, even if she's covering 10% or 5% I wouldn't mind. Mere helping doesn't go down well with me, she might have and decide not to give out. I rather not invest at all and expect nothing from her.

I don't know if I'm the one over thinking this things or my parent and her mum aren't seeing things from my perspective or am I being inconsiderate?

Criticism, Insults and bashing are welcomed. Thanks

Nazgul:
She's a very selfish person. I hate girls that reason that way. How can you look at a guy who invested 1.5m on you, married you, housed you, feeds you and tell him that you won't contribute to the home?

She has clearly told you that you stand to benefit nothing from her if you go ahead with the marriage plans.

Whatever action you decide to take is up to you.