Bola146:
Its means you don't love her Three years?!! better you let her know her fate.

pozehnani:
Childish behavior. Why the fend for yourself idea when you plan to marry her?
She should dump you and never look back because your type can make marriage hellish for a woman.

This mentality of yours is so bad and it will make you lose a lot. You better drop it before aze wunyen a gba gi there.

IamRandy:



THEY FUVKING go after the White DUDES!!!

D matter b say, plenty of them no fine

Chrisbella24:
I just hate people that think the way you do.

"....... I'm not sure about marriage yet......."

Yen yen yen.

Leave her na
Why una just like to dey stress unaself.

You made a decision that you would never sponsor any woman. Now, why can't you decide this?


You brought it here on Nairaland so people will give you Advice they won't even accept on a Normal day when it comes to their relationships?

You know your girlfriend well, you've been dating for 3 fvcking years
So because one woman decided to be ungrateful after she traveled abroad with her husband now means every other woman will be the same?

You all are pathetic.

canttedra:

I love her. I'm not sure about marriage yet, but it could happen with her.

canttedra:

I love her. I'm not sure about marriage yet, but it could happen with her.

canttedra:
The recent topic on the home page motivated me to make this post, anonymously of course.

We were dating before I left Nigeria. We've been dating for about three years. Sometime last year I got a new job in the US (I schooled there so it was easy), and moved away from the country. Until a few weeks ago, we talked nearly every other day. It's always fun talking to her. But lately, things have started to get a little rough because of something that came up, and which I would like to believe is not my fault.

Prior to dating her, since I was a kid in university, I made myself a few promises relating to women:

1. I will never pay a woman's school fees
2. I will never rent a house or apartment for a woman, nor furnish an existing apartment
3. I will never sponsor a woman abroad.

Of course, this does not mean that I won't buy a woman gifts (I do that regularly), or take her on a nice trip. I just do not envisage myself pulling a woman up the social ladder. I prefer she makes her own growth moves as it relates to finances or relocation.

I made these promises based on the fact that I expected that whomever I make a partner should be able to make something of their own selves. I do not want to be anybody's savior or anyone's get-out-of-jail card. This resolution has made lose a few women in the past who thought the relationship should be based on what they can get out of it, and my girlfriend knows this.

The situation right now is that there is a path for her to come to America through studying. We already talked about her applying for graduate studies and then transitioning here into a better job. However, she now feels that would be stressful and may not work. Instead, she thinks it's better if I return to Nigeria this December to marry her and then sponsor her eventually to the US. That's not going to happen. This has created a rift and we have not been talking for a while now.

Am I being unreasonable here? How can I make her realize she can be her own person and not have to depend on someone else to "sponsor" her? It just drives me nuts that she knows this about me but is now vehemently insisting that this is the only viable option.

canttedra:

I love her. I'm not sure about marriage yet, but it could happen with her.

Idonije8:
You nor see woman marry there?? Too many stories about men helping their girlfriends to America then along the line something happened if I was you I will marry someone there preferably a white sweet lady : abeg leave this Nigeria girls they are so ungrateful when they finally get what they want

osazsky:
she will be after his property..na so them take eject my uncle commot for him house for london..na naija him dey now..meanwhile the black hole took custody of children and his house now she is married to another white victim whom happend to be a med doctor

Dijita:

I pray god almighty will settle your brother home. I however disagree with you on your conclusion about most women. Majority of women who followed their men overseas are living in harmony with their husband and making a good home for their children. Majority of Nigerians I know in UK, London and Canada are living with the wife they brought from Nigeria. I know a man that brought his own brother to the US and they are not in good term today. This cut across Yoruba, Igbo and other minority groups. My brother in Canada is married to Igbo lady she took her to Canada they are living in harmony. I am living in harmony with my wife we are both Yoruba, We many of our very close family friends have another very friends are living in harmony with their children. I have friends in their 60s and 70s who have been here for years they are living in harmony. In fact one of them returned to Nigeria to established a pharmaceutical company. he left the wife here for almost 10 yrs just visiting once a year or their about. The company collapse and he returned back to the US. One of my friend left her wife at home and she decided to part way with him because she felt she is taking too long to come for her. I have another friend that left his wife home and decided to marry another woman in UK without telling the woman. I know women who brought their husband here and vice versa. I sympathize with those who have fall victim but we can't say because people drown we will not bath. There is high divorce rate in the western world and that is going to affect us as well

canttedra:
The recent topic on the home page motivated me to make this post, anonymously of course.

We were dating before I left Nigeria. We've been dating for about three years. Sometime last year I got a new job in the US (I schooled there so it was easy), and moved away from the country. Until a few weeks ago, we talked nearly every other day. It's always fun talking to her. But lately, things have started to get a little rough because of something that came up, and which I would like to believe is not my fault.

Prior to dating her, since I was a kid in university, I made myself a few promises relating to women:

1. I will never pay a woman's school fees
2. I will never rent a house or apartment for a woman, nor furnish an existing apartment
3. I will never sponsor a woman abroad.

Of course, this does not mean that I won't buy a woman gifts (I do that regularly), or take her on a nice trip. I just do not envisage myself pulling a woman up the social ladder. I prefer she makes her own growth moves as it relates to finances or relocation.

I made these promises based on the fact that I expected that whomever I make a partner should be able to make something of their own selves. I do not want to be anybody's savior or anyone's get-out-of-jail card. This resolution has made lose a few women in the past who thought the relationship should be based on what they can get out of it, and my girlfriend knows this.

The situation right now is that there is a path for her to come to America through studying. We already talked about her applying for graduate studies and then transitioning here into a better job. However, she now feels that would be stressful and may not work. Instead, she thinks it's better if I return to Nigeria this December to marry her and then sponsor her eventually to the US. That's not going to happen. This has created a rift and we have not been talking for a while now.

Am I being unreasonable here? How can I make her realize she can be her own person and not have to depend on someone else to "sponsor" her? It just drives me nuts that she knows this about me but is now vehemently insisting that this is the only viable option.

canttedra:
The recent topic on the home page motivated me to make this post, anonymously of course.

Am I being unreasonable here? How can I make her realize she can be her own person and not have to depend on someone else to "sponsor" her? It just drives me nuts that she knows this about me but is now vehemently insisting that this is the only viable option.

Bola146:
Its means you don't love her Three years?!! better you let her know her fate.

madjune:
It's mind-boggling hearing folks talk about things they don't know or have the capacity of giving.

Truth be said, you don't know what's love, neither do you have the capacity to love anyone.
You sound very self Centered.

How can you love or care about anybody and not wish to see things easier around her?

How can you love and not ready or willing to sacrifice?

I'm sure sacrifice no dey your dictionary.

Sacrifice is an essential and mandatory ingredient in any relationship.
Be it dating or marriage.

And, if you chose to stick with this your queer way of life, better look for a monastery near you because no normal woman will stay long around you.

Selfish human being.

canttedra:

I love her. I'm not sure about marriage yet, but it could happen with her.

canttedra:
The recent topic on the home page motivated me to make this post, anonymously of course.

We were dating before I left Nigeria. We've been dating for about three years. Sometime last year I got a new job in the US (I schooled there so it was easy), and moved away from the country. Until a few weeks ago, we talked nearly every other day. It's always fun talking to her. But lately, things have started to get a little rough because of something that came up, and which I would like to believe is not my fault.

Prior to dating her, since I was a kid in university, I made myself a few promises relating to women:

1. I will never pay a woman's school fees
2. I will never rent a house or apartment for a woman, nor furnish an existing apartment
3. I will never sponsor a woman abroad.

Of course, this does not mean that I won't buy a woman gifts (I do that regularly), or take her on a nice trip. I just do not envisage myself pulling a woman up the social ladder. I prefer she makes her own growth moves as it relates to finances or relocation.

I made these promises based on the fact that I expected that whomever I make a partner should be able to make something of their own selves. I do not want to be anybody's savior or anyone's get-out-of-jail card. This resolution has made lose a few women in the past who thought the relationship should be based on what they can get out of it, and my girlfriend knows this.

The situation right now is that there is a path for her to come to America through studying. We already talked about her applying for graduate studies and then transitioning here into a better job. However, she now feels that would be stressful and may not work. Instead, she thinks it's better if I return to Nigeria this December to marry her and then sponsor her eventually to the US. That's not going to happen. This has created a rift and we have not been talking for a while now.

Am I being unreasonable here? How can I make her realize she can be her own person and not have to depend on someone else to "sponsor" her? It just drives me nuts that she knows this about me but is now vehemently insisting that this is the only viable option.

Idonije8:
You nor see woman marry there?? Too many stories about men helping their girlfriends to America then along the line something happened if I was you I will marry someone there preferably a white sweet lady : abeg leave this Nigeria girls they are so ungrateful when they finally get what they want

greggng:
I read all your policy and it doesn't work in this jet age....The question to ask is how did you become whom you are....? Are you saying u never got help from anyone , your parents and relatives inclusive ...if your answer is yes then you have the moral ground to continue with your outdated principles . But if you 've gotten help from anyone in your past or present ....then consider yourself a selfcentes human being and you 've nothing to offer humanity

canttedra:

I love her. I'm not sure about marriage yet, but it could happen with her.