Hi,

I got this moniker just to make this post knowing how tormenting Nairalanders can be and yet there are lots of good hearts among you who can make a difference for someone in need. I have a very strange issue i need some advice and would love the imputs of those good hearts.

This post might be lengthy but bear with me...

I'm an Igbo man who just clocked 41 but unfortunately, still single. I'm not an ex-womanizer or anything it's just that I've had the worst and most difficult life you can imagine and climbing out of that hellhole has been a very difficult task that has taken so many years. The final state of my struggles is here and all I need is a good partner.

You see, I grew up very poor, lost both parents early and battled with a strange hearing problem that makes life extraordinarily difficult for me. My hearing issue has a spiritual angle that makes it important that I never go far from God but the hardship and pain I have been through in this world since my teenage years is enough to kill anyone's faith and make them commit suicide but here i am.... hoping it will end well.

I'm the first son of my late father and his only brother is my sworn enemy so I can't just go waltzing to my village to get what I need so badly... a good wife. I also have a sister in Aba who thinks life is all about her husband and kids only. No help anywhere... It's just me and I have been alone and helpless for too long.

I now want to break every rule to get a good wife and for this I need your advice.

I might point out that one of the reasons I've been alone for this long is not just because i have hearing issues but also because I have been so broke. I've been very broke for too many years. There were times i couldn't afford common bathing soap for months and months but all that changed last year.


God blessed my little online hustle late last year and now I make about 100k every month. That money is on the increase too.

I haven't been able to save much so far though cos I had to take care of myself a bit after so many years of neglect and then I did something very stupid - I gave lots of financial assistance to some relatives who i thought would help me get a good wife. Lesson learned... even blood relatives will always cheat and steal from you to take care of their own problems.

I believe if I don't attack this problem myself, I will still be single by the year's end. May God forbid.

This is what I want to do...

Having become convinced that Lagos is the last place to get a good wife I want to travel east to Enugu and Abakeliki (Ebonyi State) within days. Lodge in a hotel and visit some churches to see what woman God will bring my way.

I've never been to these places before but from my research I found that the number of single ladies there are high and marriage, quite easy.

Please, I am open to advice and any kind of social assistance if possible.

I know most of you got married early but understand that life treats people differently and this is what I have as my portion. I don't plan to die with it though, I want to change it and soon.


Thank you.


Lalasticlala
Dominique

Front page please.

You must be very funny... Travel to do what Getting someone to marry is by grace of God.

You are on the right track. You'll find what you seek along that track.


But also, visit the pastors not just the churches. They know their children better


I'm. Wishing you luck. If you don't mind try Catholic. They train their ladies to be modest, decent and godly.

Op, since you have relied on God this long, why not rely on Him finding you a perfect spouse? Please consider making God your counselor on this matter, and lastly, try as much as possible to avoid getting advice through social media, because you will get the worst kind of advice.

I wan comment but I hold my peace , as a matter of fact make I go piss come back
e be like say you never hear the word "girlfriend" abi?
start from there, try get plenty maybe e go confuse you with your new found wealth. Then you go sabi wetin you de find.

Op, pray the prayer Abraham's servant prayed to get a wife for Isaac. Pray everyday that God should give u good success and send His angel before you to bring you before His appointed wife for you. Depend on His grace to lead you and He'll give you a prudent wife. It may take time but just trust Him. He never fails. A prudent wife is really a treasure these days.

While you're also searching, ask your Abba Father to build you into a loving husband, a man who'll love his wife like Christ loves the church. Don't depend on men to give u a wife. Commit every plan into His hands and go with the promptings that come to your heart. I sincerely wish you success!

If you have waited this long to get a good partner, then you can still wait a little bit longer to get to the best. Please don't settle for less out of desperation.
The Lagos you're running away from might hold a good spouse for you than that place you think you will get one

You don't need to embark on any special travel, you can get your wife anywhere, marriage is by grace and taking a step,Who told you that you can't get a good wife in Lagos? Who advised you to travel down to enugu for a wife? Nwanne take a step,most importantly you need someone that can support you too, wishing you the best in your search

Shelumiel:
Op, since you have relied on God this long, why not rely on Him finding you a perfect spouse? Please consider making God your counselor on this matter, and lastly, try as much as possible to avoid getting advice through social media, because you will get the worst kind of advice.

Thattallgirl:
Op, pray the prayer Abraham's servant prayed to get a wife for Isaac. Pray everyday that God should give u good success and send His angel before you to bring you before His appointed wife for you. Depend on His grace to lead you and He'll give you a prudent wife. It may take time but just trust Him. He never fails. A prudent wife is really a treasure these days.

While you're also searching, ask your Abba Father to build you into a loving husband, a man who'll love his wife like Christ loves the church. Don't depend on men to give u a wife. Commit every plan into His hands and go with the promptings that come to your heart. I sincerely wish you success!

@Tri3C,

The posters above have said it all.

If you can testify to God's grace all through these years, why don't you rely on Him for the second most important aspect of your life?

Relying on God aka praying to Him for direction is different from going to Church to search where everyone has a cloak of piety.

I remember this story. I saw your posts few years ago looking for a wife. I'm sure you could have solved this problem since that time because some ladies expressed interest but you were insisting on a tall huge fair woman with voluptuous hips

You are wasting your time. Good women don't reside in church, desperate ones do.
Start socialising and making friends. That's your best bet.

bigjackass:
I remember this story. I saw your posts few years ago looking for a wife. I'm sure you could have solved this problem since that time because some ladies expressed interest but you were insisting on a tall huge fair woman with voluptuous hips

At the bolded, you just described my late mom perfectly and for some psychological reason I want a woman just like her.

In truth, these type of women are scare here in the west but go East and you will see them a dime a dozen... Igbo women are naturally light skinned and voluptuous, finding tall or big ones is not hard. Pay everything asked and their father will send them packing with you.

I did not have the money before but I do now.

Yes, I have made two posts in the last 2 to 3 years but I don't remember being bamboozled by willing women and In all my years of chronic suffering i have never met any women who was ready to share that life with me.

A popular pastor once said... 'if you like big breasts, please marry a woman like that. If it's big buttocks please try and marry one like that. Don't go and marry someone you don't like or cherish because marriage is like a very long journey and Satan will be there with temptation and problems at every bus stop. If you are not satisfied in marriage, you will regret it'.

I don't want to 'regret it'

bigjackass:
I remember this story. I saw your posts few years ago looking for a wife. I'm sure you could have solved this problem since that time because some ladies expressed interest but you were insisting on a tall huge fair woman with voluptuous hips

Karleb:

lol. He even said the same woman must also be ready to become the wife of a full time pastor. I just shook my head that this dude never ready to marry

Tri3C:


At the bolded, you just described my late mom perfectly and for some psychological reason I want a woman just like her.

In truth, these type of women are scare here in the west but go East and you will see them a dime a dozen... Igbo women are naturally light skinned and voluptuous, finding tall or big ones is not hard. Pay everything asked and their father will send them packing with you.

I did not have the money before but I do now.

Yes, I have made two posts in the last 2 to 3 years but I don't remember being bamboozled by willing women and In all my years of chronic suffering i have never met any women who was ready to share that life with me.

A popular pastor once said... 'if you like big breasts, please marry a woman like that. If it's big buttocks please try and marry one like that. Don't go and marry someone you don't like or cherish because marriage is like a very long journey and Satan will be there with temptation and problems at every bus stop. If you are not satisfied in marriage, you will regret it'.

I don't want to 'regret it'

Na man you be

Meeting of suitable partners is more of spiritual contact than physical contact.
Your spirit will be drawn to the right spouse soon

Hmmmm

Yes, I lived in Ebonyi for a while, I'm in support of you going there. Their women are hardworking, industrious, and humble.

As your story is a quite pathetic one, you'll need someone that will give you peace of mind, not stress. You have gone through a lot, so you need to drink water and drop cup.

I strongly advice you go to Ebonyi, I swear if I was a man, I'll marry an Ebonyi woman i went there and I was awed by their strength and humility. Just lodge yourself in one of the hotels, go to their famous markets and observe things. Go to their churches and observe too..

But don't just walk up to someone and propose marriage immediately o if you meet anyone, just be friends with her first and see how it goes.

Good luck.

RedPhoenix:
You are on the right track. You'll find what you seek along that track.


But also, visit the pastors not just the churches. They know their children better


I'm. Wishing you luck. If you don't mind try Catholic. They train their ladies to be modest, decent and godly.

Don't visit any pastor. Make your choice yourself.
Most of these pastors are not real men of God.

Don't be deceived.

never make you intension to a woman that you want to marry her. if you must go to abakiliki. go there to find girls contact. don't use your real number. get as many girls from the ones you like. if they are up to 10.

write thier names down on paper and put the paper inside bible preferably Genesis 24.

now from this list start calling and chatting them from the fake number you have. and be prayerful like God should drive away the wrong selection from the list.

you will notice that some will be losing interest chatting or talking with you. that one if the signs and it might be the one you really like among them.

after sometime talk about it if they are interested to visit you in Lagos. some will decline and some might agree.
I believe you will know the one God is directing to you. but if you can't find the one never settle for less among them. go for another search again and keep repeating it.

I pray you see the one..

Do you the funny thing I've found about searching for a wife especially in Nigeria?

With my experience, the not too educated ones (WAEC & OND graduates) are very beautiful and humble. They are ready to act in that submissive role the average Nigerian man craves for, they are too an extent independent and they hustle in their own way to make ends meet.

The Educated ones: This is where d issue lies, they are averagely beautiful but very stubborn. I have met them in school, during service and at work and the story is the same. Something somewhere tells them that a BSc or an MSc is a licence to be outrightly rude and stubborn.

Even here on Nairaland I've met a few of them, they are like coconut even with nothing to their names (not excluding the religious ones)

But this my experience is mainly limited to Lagos as a setting. My thoughts are that the story will be different when I get to my hometown/state to search.

Temporary solution: I just told my aunties to be on the lookout for me, that construct about you taking your due diligence before you marry is a societal illusion, humans will always be humans d trick is to make sure the person positives far outweighs the negative.

Sir, sincerely, it's a tough job you have on your hands, if you want the uneducated ones and you can find their G & D I will advice that you follow that route but for me, I can't as education comes tops in my search for a life partner.

I still hope to see one soon. I'm 29 and people keep saying I'm too young to be thinking of marriage lol, people don't understand that this body also obeys the Law of Diminishing Marginal Returns.

CsRockefeller:
Do you the funny thing I've found about searching for a wife especially in Nigeria?

With my experience, the not too educated ones (WAEC & OND graduates) are very beautiful and humble. They are ready to act in that submissive role the average Nigerian man craves for, they are too an extent independent and they hustle in their own way to make ends meet.

The Educated ones: This is where d issue lies, they are averagely beautiful but very stubborn. I have met them in school, during service and at work and the story is the same. Something somewhere tells them that a BSc or an MSc is a licence to be outrightly rude and stubborn.

Even here on Nairaland I've met a few of them, they are like coconut even with nothing to their names (not excluding the religious ones)

But this my experience is mainly limited to Lagos as a setting. My thoughts are that the story will be different when I get to my hometown/state to search.

Temporary solution: I just told my aunties to be on the lookout for me, that construct about you taking your due diligence before you marry is a societal illusion, humans will always be humans d trick is to make sure the person positives far outweighs the negative.

Sir, sincerely, it's a tough job you have on your hands, if you want the uneducated ones and you can find their G & D I will advice that you follow that route but for me, I can't as education comes tops in my search for a life partner.

I still hope to see one soon. I'm 29 and people keep saying I'm too young to be thinking of marriage lol, people don't understand that this body also obeys the Law of Diminishing Marginal Returns.

Spoken like a man with lots of experience in the act of wife searching in Lagos and beyond .

You are perfectly correct on all counts, I can relate.

I won't be overlooking the less educated women, after all, I can afford to send them back to school.

Thank you so much for your advice.

@Op your story is similar to mine, just that I am 34 years old and currently abroad.
I am waiting for 2 more years to get my paali then come back home to find wife.
I will be about 36years by that time...

I feel I will be too old, some said it is better to wait than to rush into a marriage with all these difficult girls we see abroad.
I wish you goodluck in your search...

Wife searchers association of Nairaland.

Shortyy:
Hmmmm

Yes, I lived in Ebonyi for a while, I'm in support of you going there. Their women are hardworking, industrious, and humble.

As your story is a quite pathetic one, you'll need someone that will give you peace of mind, not stress. You have gone through a lot, so you need to drink water and drop cup.

I strongly advice you go to Ebonyi, I swear if I was a man, I'll marry an Ebonyi woman i went there and I was awed by their strength and humility. Just lodge yourself in one of the hotels, go to their famous markets and observe things. Go to their churches and observe too..

But don't just walk up to someone and propose marriage immediately o if you meet anyone, just be friends with her first and see how it goes.

Good luck.

Like play, like play, this your advice take style make sense

bigjackass:
lol. He even said the same woman must also be ready to become the wife of a full time pastor. I just shook my head that this dude never ready to marry

When I made the post you are mocking all i had was a little hope that God would alleviate my sufferings and give me what I wanted. I never really believed that i would ever earn enough money to live well talk less of thinking of a good car. But here I am today doing both.

When I finally get married to a woman of my choice I will quote you again

Jehovah is a God of plenty. Trust in him and refuse to manage. HE MUST PROVIDE.

Shortyy:
Hmmmm

Yes, I lived in Ebonyi for a while, I'm in support of you going there. Their women are hardworking, industrious, and humble.

As your story is a quite pathetic one, you'll need someone that will give you peace of mind, not stress. You have gone through a lot, so you need to drink water and drop cup.

I strongly advice you go to Ebonyi, I swear if I was a man, I'll marry an Ebonyi woman i went there and I was awed by their strength and humility. Just lodge yourself in one of the hotels, go to their famous markets and observe things. Go to their churches and observe too..

But don't just walk up to someone and propose marriage immediately o if you meet anyone, just be friends with her first and see how it goes.

Good luck.

Thank you. I will definitly follow your advice.

I sent you a mail. I will loveto ask a few more question if you don't mind.

Thank you.

Tri3C:


When I made the post you are mocking all i had was a little hope that God would alleviate my sufferings and give me what I wanted. I never really believed that i would ever earn enough money to live well talk less of thinking of a good car. But here I am today doing both.

When I finally get married to a woman of my choice I will quote you again

Jehovah is a God of plenty. Trust in him and refuse to manage. HE MUST PROVIDE.

amen

Oga, look around you for the good wife you deserve and not go marry a stranger so as not to to add to your burdens.

GuyInTheMirror:
@Op your story is similar to mine, just that I am 34 years old and currently abroad.
I am waiting for 2 more years to get my paali then come back home to find wife.
I will be about 36years by that time...

I feel I will be too old, some said it is better to wait than to rush into a marriage with all these difficult girls we see abroad.
I wish you goodluck in your search...

And you think the ones at home are better?

I'll advise you re-think the bolded.

Raalsalghul:


And you think the ones at home are better?

I'll advise you re-think the bolded.

Have you ever been abroad ? Do you even know the type of ladies we have abroad ? Well, the type of ladies I want are plenty in Naija but I haven't met them here.
And cultural compatibility is a huge part of marriage, there is a reason Asians especially Indians abroad seem to have the lowest divorce rates out of immigrants in the west.
They most times go back home to marry and hardly marry other nationalities (this is true for atleast the first generation immigrants) .

Socialization is d key...u dnt need to travel

Tri3C:


At the bolded, you just described my late mom perfectly and for some psychological reason I want a woman just like her.

In truth, these type of women are scare here in the west but go East and you will see them a dime a dozen... Igbo women are naturally light skinned and voluptuous, finding tall or big ones is not hard. Pay everything asked and their father will send them packing with you.

I did not have the money before but I do now.

Yes, I have made two posts in the last 2 to 3 years but I don't remember being bamboozled by willing women and In all my years of chronic suffering i have never met any women who was ready to share that life with me.

A popular pastor once said... 'if you like big breasts, please marry a woman like that. If it's big buttocks please try and marry one like that. Don't go and marry someone you don't like or cherish because marriage is like a very long journey and Satan will be there with temptation and problems at every bus stop. If you are not satisfied in marriage, you will regret it'.

I don't want to 'regret it'