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Why Bringing A Spouse Abroad Goes Wrong - Travel (2) - Nairaland

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Re: Why Bringing A Spouse Abroad Goes Wrong by somegirl1: 10:14pm On Jan 08, 2021

A lot of Nigerian men import wives from Nigeria for the wrong reasons.
They pick home-based women over Nigerian women already abroad, foreign black and white women with the mindset that they're easier to manipulate, subdue and control.
Truth is, the only difference between home-based women and Nigerian women abroad is exposure and availability of options, it's only a matter of time before the home-based lady adjusts to her environment.
Rather than bring a poor girl from Nigeria abroad to dictate to her what she's to study and expect her salary as recompense for putting her through school, how about these men invest in themselves, study nursing, medicine etc and make the money themselves.
I would never hand over my earnings to anyone if I had a choice, no one will wholeheartedly.
The moral lesson from these horror stories is for Nigerian men to stop attempting to use home-based women as investments and to stop being delusional about these women remaining subdued in a liberal society.

By the way, Nigerian women abroad also fall prey to home-based men who mistreat them once they leave Nigeria. It's not just the men that have sorrowful tales to tell.

48 Likes 5 Shares

Re: Why Bringing A Spouse Abroad Goes Wrong by PAWG(m): 10:15pm On Jan 08, 2021
If you just heard a siren in Abuja, 75% chance you’re my neighbor

6 Likes

Re: Why Bringing A Spouse Abroad Goes Wrong by Ejay(f): 10:15pm On Jan 08, 2021
They got what they deserved.
Re: Why Bringing A Spouse Abroad Goes Wrong by BlessedNuel: 10:15pm On Jan 08, 2021
Facts
Re: Why Bringing A Spouse Abroad Goes Wrong by Nobody: 10:16pm On Jan 08, 2021
Why would any sane Nigerian man who travel abroad and make it, would then plan on coming back to marry a naija lady? undecided

6 Likes 1 Share

Re: Why Bringing A Spouse Abroad Goes Wrong by Yungmil: 10:16pm On Jan 08, 2021
I didn't read that post up there but let me just comment anyway.
I honestly think the landlord was not fair at all and also ASUU and govt don't want to settle because the price of bread has increased.

l hope I have succeeded in confusing all and sundry in harmony. thank u

5 Likes

Re: Why Bringing A Spouse Abroad Goes Wrong by Johnnyplus01k(m): 10:16pm On Jan 08, 2021
So in summary a guy in abroad should marry akata because they are better than the Nigerian that we thought are cultured and well-mannered.

10 Likes

Re: Why Bringing A Spouse Abroad Goes Wrong by InlandTaipan84(m): 10:16pm On Jan 08, 2021
Don't have time to read all this shit....
If you're a black man abroad...don't dream about coming back to Africa to get married.
Find one white or Latina or at least Asian pussy to date Bleep steady with less issue

7 Likes

Re: Why Bringing A Spouse Abroad Goes Wrong by Alexaonfleek: 10:17pm On Jan 08, 2021
This abroad sef nor dey hungry me again

6 Likes

Re: Why Bringing A Spouse Abroad Goes Wrong by inumidun2010(m): 10:18pm On Jan 08, 2021
Mofo ooo.. lemme Japa first before I think marriage. ..

1 Like

Re: Why Bringing A Spouse Abroad Goes Wrong by Chimaokigwe: 10:18pm On Jan 08, 2021
I just pity that foolish Trayceey girl who opened a thread to cry that her boyfriend did not buy bread for her mother. Them don use insult rinse her mama.

31 Likes

Re: Why Bringing A Spouse Abroad Goes Wrong by Leebeedo(m): 10:18pm On Jan 08, 2021
Drenimarcus:
In this age, only a fool will scam people for papers to bring a Nigerian lady over. I can not wrap my head on that. There was a case of a guy who petitioned for his wife from naija(been married for 2 years or 3 i think), she waited till she got the visa, came in and got the 10 years right away,changed her address on file and sent "mr man" divorce papers. Keep bringing them over and they will keep absconding here. Muntula set of people.

It's wrong to make a generalization based on just one or few cases you witnessed. I brought my girl over to the USA and everything has been smooth. I was scared though, but marriage no be by being smart, just pray you don't meet the wrong one cos you can meet them when you're based in Nigerian as well.

48 Likes 4 Shares

Re: Why Bringing A Spouse Abroad Goes Wrong by seanwilliam(m): 10:18pm On Jan 08, 2021
If God allows me to step out of this country , I will never marry a Nigerian..

4 Likes 1 Share

Re: Why Bringing A Spouse Abroad Goes Wrong by stonecoldcafe: 10:18pm On Jan 08, 2021
Anywhere you find good woman, marry and move on with your family life. Note the word - good woman

12 Likes 1 Share

Re: Why Bringing A Spouse Abroad Goes Wrong by Seyzcham91(m): 10:23pm On Jan 08, 2021
grin
Hintona:


On nairaland or in real life?
Re: Why Bringing A Spouse Abroad Goes Wrong by uuzba(m): 10:24pm On Jan 08, 2021
PAWG:
If you just heard a siren in Abuja, 75% chance you’re my neighbor
If you didn't hear the Abuja Siren in this guy's neighborhood, 100% chance you're in my own neighborhood.

11 Likes 1 Share

Re: Why Bringing A Spouse Abroad Goes Wrong by ednut1(m): 10:24pm On Jan 08, 2021
Many women wey dey same country with you they wont. They want Amak they can control. Amaka comes from 9ja sees how things are done and adapt. The man begins to para lol

7 Likes

Re: Why Bringing A Spouse Abroad Goes Wrong by ghettochild4u(m): 10:24pm On Jan 08, 2021
You on point @op
Well payback is a bitch..
Kolapo where ever u are in California....
Ur karma still running behind u ooooo

4 Likes

Re: Why Bringing A Spouse Abroad Goes Wrong by nedekid: 10:25pm On Jan 08, 2021
Hintona:


On nairaland or in real life?
Lol
Re: Why Bringing A Spouse Abroad Goes Wrong by seunny4lif(m): 10:26pm On Jan 08, 2021
Holywizard:
I'm planning on migrating to Eastern Europe this year.
With the experinces I have here, I'm even scared of getting married to a Nigerian

Re: Why Bringing A Spouse Abroad Goes Wrong by higgs: 10:26pm On Jan 08, 2021
The OP is wise.

3 Likes

Re: Why Bringing A Spouse Abroad Goes Wrong by Heffalump(m): 10:27pm On Jan 08, 2021
angelfallz:
Only These Na story.

If a man marries a good wife take her to mount Everest, take her to the centre of the earth, her character and personality wouldn't change.

Your piece is just advocating for men to marry "akata" girls instead of home based girls. While forgetting that everyone is different.
Or do you want to say that there no bad experiences from men that married "akata" girls?

What you should be advocating for is that men should shine their eyes and marry women with the right character and attitude.

You're on point!

5 Likes

Re: Why Bringing A Spouse Abroad Goes Wrong by nedekid: 10:27pm On Jan 08, 2021
angelfallz:
Only These Na story.

If a man marries a good wife take her to mount Everest, take her to the centre of the earth, her character and personality wouldn't change.

Your piece is just advocating for men to marry "akata" girls instead of home based girls. While forgetting that everyone is different.
Or do you want to say that there no bad experiences from men that married "akata" girls?

What you should be advocating for is that men should shine their eyes and marry women with the right character and attitude.
Yeah right, the mystical women with good character and attitide

5 Likes

Re: Why Bringing A Spouse Abroad Goes Wrong by seunny4lif(m): 10:28pm On Jan 08, 2021
You don't know what you are saying bro
A lot of people are still doing it
Drenimarcus:
In this age, only a fool will scam people for papers to bring a Nigerian lady over. I can not wrap my head on that. There was a case of a guy who petitioned for his wife from naija(been married for 2 years or 3 i think), she waited till she got the visa, came in and got the 10 years right away,changed her address on file and sent "mr man" divorce papers. Keep bringing them over and they will keep absconding here. Muntula set of people.

1 Like

Re: Why Bringing A Spouse Abroad Goes Wrong by cooltola(m): 10:30pm On Jan 08, 2021
It works if you know the woman very well and you dated her when you were in Nigeria. It works even with a stranger as long there is trust, love and understanding. There are many men who have bought their spouses, girlfriends, love flings from Nigeria, marry them and are enjoying their marriage. But you do not hear about them on the news, social media or blogs because good news is boring and not entertaining. The only one you hear is the Texas man killed Nigerian Nurse

35 Likes 2 Shares

Re: Why Bringing A Spouse Abroad Goes Wrong by PAWG(m): 10:32pm On Jan 08, 2021
uuzba:

If you didn't hear the Abuja Siren in this guy's neighborhood, 100% chance you're in my own neighborhood.


Your neighborhood’s gotta be pretty LARGE

1 Like

Re: Why Bringing A Spouse Abroad Goes Wrong by Nobody: 10:33pm On Jan 08, 2021
You can talk from now till thy kingdom come. The same situation will still occur...you know why?

Karma is a b1tch and it comes for nizoorian scammers.

Paper huzzlers camouflaging as lovers of white women both young and old will live to regret it.

Abusive negroes who run to enjoy the laws of the white man's land must obey the law and acknowledge that domestic violence will land them in jail. If you can't accept that, stay single in obodo oyibo and die of cold.

10 Likes 2 Shares

Re: Why Bringing A Spouse Abroad Goes Wrong by Ihekwoabasam(m): 10:33pm On Jan 08, 2021
To b frank,
Nigerians HV their reasons, we African love to b respected unlike white or black ladies over there,
is mostly the reason Nigerians come bk to marry

1 Like

Re: Why Bringing A Spouse Abroad Goes Wrong by erico2k2(m): 10:34pm On Jan 08, 2021
sweetmelanin:
Every now and again, I hear new stories about some men getting "betrayed" by a Nigerian spouse whom they've brought abroad.. however, I can't help but notice that they are often the cause of their own misfortune. As harsh as it sounds, some men have had to learn the hard way that ignorance and hero-complex will cost a man far more than he can ever bargain for..

Category 1: Those with a warped mindset of the " 'cultureless' akata"

My experience:
Let's go back to my uni days some years back.. the dating scene was wild, brutal and exciting.. back then, the disparity was huge between the "freshiees" and UK grown blacks (unlike today) .. but yet, I was opportuned to mix and mingle with so many young Nigerian guys who were in the UK as international students at the time.. some also young working professionals ( of which are still life-long friends of mine up till today)...

..whilst on the dating scene, I noticed that a lot of Nigerian guys seemed to have a mentality that "akata" girls were "too exposed" compared to Nigerian girls back home, so they played games with them, often ditching these girls to marry home-based chicks.. I remember having such a silly and childish dream of relocating to Nigeria back then . Hahha.. and thought I would end up with a "freshiie" who would 'take me back to the motherland'.. haha. though I ended up with someone with a migration story just like mine; we both moved to the UK as kids in the early 2000s.. and my husband is a male 'akata' to core cheesy ..with no intention whatsoever of moving back.

Truth be told, a lot of guys who had temporary flings with "akata" girls ended up moving back to Nigeria, and are still regretting their decision till today.. Many returned to find their girlfriends had moved on and married older men. Others attempted to bring their girlfriends here to find out they've been used as a mere stepping stone to "greener pastures".


Category 2: Those who used and dumped white women for papers and then brought their "ungrateful Nigerian wives" abroad.

Men who are desperate for papers often opt for the easy way out: marrying an older white woman (and in some cases a poor unsuspecting black woman from another African country who has papers) ... they do this with the mindset that they would bring their "real wife" from Nigeria.
Now when their 'wife' divorces them.. these men will scream betrayal, forgetting the trail of heartbreaks they've left behind.. Now how do such men think they will use a foreign woman, break her heart, and yet live happily ever after with an imported bride?? how??

In summary,

When I hear stories of bitter divorces and men killing their spouse whom they brought from Nigeria I can't help but think this could've been avoided if they focused on settling with a so called "akata". Yes, she may not feign fake 'submission' like home-based Nigerian chicks, but what makes her less likely to 'betray' or mess you up is the absence of entitlement mentality.
...someone coming directly from Nigeria typically has a dog eat dog mentality caused by an oppressive system of lack. Whereas an abroad based chick already learns not to depend on a man from as early as 16 - 17 years of age.. most already have part time jobs as students and know the value of working for their money.. they won't take crap but at least what you see is what you get.. abroad based girls (akatas) are not angels but are far better than the pretenders back home y'all believe are "wife materials".. but people generally hold on to an illusion over what is real.
So you created a new profile lastnight and thought it was OK to write all that??

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