RisenPhoenix1:
Too simplistic and very untrue. Many Nigerian men go abroad on study or professional work visas, work hard without marrying white women for papers, and come back home to marry because they realise that akata girls have little value marriage-wise. Some genuinely want to marry akata girls when they start dating them, but their eyes quickly open; it's not like they deliberately go around breaking hearts. About the only thing you're right on is the dog-eat-dog mentality of Nigerian girls once they get their papers abroad and start to understand the powers that Western governments mistakenly give them. They become something else.

But marrying akata girls is not the solution. Like their white counterparts, they are wayward and divorce prone; ending up with all the man's wealth at the end of the day. No. The solution is to marry home based Nigerian girls, but never to relocate your family abroad until your children are at least at college level. Personally, I cannot let my kids out of Nigeria except on the occasional holidays; until they get to post grad at the minimum. For me personally, relocating anywhere is a no no. Nigeria is good enough for me. I hate stress.

Chimaokigwe:
I just pity that foolish Trayceey girl who opened a thread to cry that her boyfriend did not buy bread for her mother. Them don use insult rinse her mama.

Hotbutt:
How I wish I can travel abroad even if it's for a day.

Hintona:


On nairaland or in real life?

0taPiaPia:



Bros you wicked oh.. u carry that matter reach this side.. she didn't expect such backlash and I dey pray make she no attempt Suicide.

Drenimarcus:
In this age, only a fool will scam people for papers to bring a Nigerian lady over. I can not wrap my head on that. There was a case of a guy who petitioned for his wife from naija(been married for 2 years or 3 i think), she waited till she got the visa, came in and got the 10 years right away,changed her address on file and sent "mr man" divorce papers. Keep bringing them over and they will keep absconding here. Muntula set of people.

RisenPhoenix1:


Yes, twice. Though in all honesty, from the very beginning, I had no intention of marrying either one when I dated them. There was a very big difference between their approach to dating and life and that of home based girls.

Leebeedo:


It's wrong to make a generalization based on just one or few cases you witnessed. I brought my girl over to the USA and everything has been smooth. I was scared though, but marriage no be by being smart, just pray you don't meet the wrong one cos you can meet them when you're based in Nigerian as well.

angelfallz:


Lol, it's unfortunate that you've only been meeting terrible women in your life. So, I know it would sound strange when I tell you that there are women with good character attitude.

sweetmelanin:


My point exactly!

You entered those relationships with a preconceived notion that those ladies aren't worthy of marriage simply based on the fact that they aren't "home-based" girls... there is nothing either of those poor women could've done to change your prejudice mindset. You are definitely a 'category 1' brother!

If I may ask, what were the different approaches to dating you observed? (your last point)

Hotbutt:
How I wish I can travel abroad even if it's for a day.

Modified
Once am done with Nursing School next year, I will try and find my way Abroad.

angelfallz:
Only These Na story.

If a man marries a good wife take her to mount Everest, take her to the centre of the earth, her character and personality wouldn't change.

Your piece is just advocating for men to marry "akata" girls instead of home based girls. While forgetting that everyone is different.
Or do you want to say that there no bad experiences from men that married "akata" girls?

What you should be advocating for is that men should shine their eyes and marry women with the right character and attitude.

sweetmelanin:
Every now and again, I hear new stories about some men getting "betrayed" by a Nigerian spouse whom they've brought abroad.. however, I can't help but notice that they are often the cause of their own misfortune. As harsh as it sounds, some men have had to learn the hard way that ignorance and hero-complex will cost a man far more than he can ever bargain for..

Category 1: Those with a warped mindset of the " 'cultureless' akata"

My experience:
Let's go back to my uni days some years back.. the dating scene was wild, brutal and exciting.. back then, the disparity was huge between the "freshiees" and UK grown blacks (unlike today) .. but yet, I was opportuned to mix and mingle with so many young Nigerian guys who were in the UK as international students at the time.. some also young working professionals ( of which are still life-long friends of mine up till today)...

..whilst on the dating scene, I noticed that a lot of Nigerian guys seemed to have a mentality that "akata" girls were "too exposed" compared to Nigerian girls back home, so they played games with them, often ditching these girls to marry home-based chicks.. I remember having such a silly and childish dream of relocating to Nigeria back then . Hahha.. and thought I would end up with a "freshiie" who would 'take me back to the motherland'.. haha. though I ended up with someone with a migration story just like mine; we both moved to the UK as kids in the early 2000s.. and my husband is a male 'akata' to core ..with no intention whatsoever of moving back.

Truth be told, a lot of guys who had temporary flings with "akata" girls ended up moving back to Nigeria, and are still regretting their decision till today.. Many returned to find their girlfriends had moved on and married older men. Others attempted to bring their girlfriends here to find out they've been used as a mere stepping stone to "greener pastures".


Category 2: Those who used and dumped white women for papers and then brought their "ungrateful Nigerian wives" abroad.

Men who are desperate for papers often opt for the easy way out: marrying an older white woman (and in some cases a poor unsuspecting black woman from another African country who has papers) ... they do this with the mindset that they would bring their "real wife" from Nigeria.
Now when their 'wife' divorces them.. these men will scream betrayal, forgetting the trail of heartbreaks they've left behind.. Now how do such men think they will use a foreign woman, break her heart, and yet live happily ever after with an imported bride?? how??

In summary,

When I hear stories of bitter divorces and men killing their spouse whom they brought from Nigeria I can't help but think this could've been avoided if they focused on settling with a so called "akata". Yes, she may not feign fake 'submission' like home-based Nigerian chicks, but what makes her less likely to 'betray' or mess you up is the absence of entitlement mentality.
...someone coming directly from Nigeria typically has a dog eat dog mentality caused by an oppressive system of lack. Whereas an abroad based chick already learns not to depend on a man from as early as 16 - 17 years of age.. most already have part time jobs as students and know the value of working for their money.. they won't take crap but at least what you see is what you get.. abroad based girls (akatas) are not angels but are far better than the pretenders back home y'all believe are "wife materials".. but people generally hold on to an illusion over what is real.

BarrElChapo:


What about us that don't have 'pal'

nedekid:

So you think.
There is no Eldorado with women. There is nothing like women with good and perfect character. The situation and environment brings out characters even from the most saintly. When the chips are down you may know who is who. The worst can even end up being the best.
"Lol, it's unfortunate that you've only been meeting terrible women in your life"
How long have you been married to determine (ie if you are) if you as a person have been fortunate to meet only perfect women with good characters?
5,10,15,20 years?
Anyway, you will learn over time..

omotolarunsewe:
When you bring a woman abroad make sure you ready to treat her like an African queen.don’t let her help out in paying any bills.make sure you have a good job or business,take good care of her. Go on vacations,Don’t cheat on her.she will always remain your queen.my wife came here 14 years ago and she still remain my adorable wife. Be smart and never get jealous when she start making her own $$$

Ihekwoabasam:
To b frank,
Nigerians HV their reasons, we African love to b respected unlike white or black ladies over there,
is mostly the reason Nigerians come bk to marry

TheWalkingMind:
Have you left the shores of Nigeria in your entire life?

sweetmelanin:
Every now and again, I hear new stories about some men getting "betrayed" by a Nigerian spouse whom they've brought abroad.. however, I can't help but notice that they are often the cause of their own misfortune. As harsh as it sounds, some men have had to learn the hard way that ignorance and hero-complex will cost a man far more than he can ever bargain for..

Category 1: Those with a warped mindset of the " 'cultureless' akata"

My experience:
Let's go back to my uni days some years back.. the dating scene was wild, brutal and exciting.. back then, the disparity was huge between the "freshiees" and UK grown blacks (unlike today) .. but yet, I was opportuned to mix and mingle with so many young Nigerian guys who were in the UK as international students at the time.. some also young working professionals ( of which are still life-long friends of mine up till today)...

..whilst on the dating scene, I noticed that a lot of Nigerian guys seemed to have a mentality that "akata" girls were "too exposed" compared to Nigerian girls back home, so they played games with them, often ditching these girls to marry home-based chicks.. I remember having such a silly and childish dream of relocating to Nigeria back then . Hahha.. and thought I would end up with a "freshiie" who would 'take me back to the motherland'.. haha. though I ended up with someone with a migration story just like mine; we both moved to the UK as kids in the early 2000s.. and my husband is a male 'akata' to core ..with no intention whatsoever of moving back.

Truth be told, a lot of guys who had temporary flings with "akata" girls ended up moving back to Nigeria, and are still regretting their decision till today.. Many returned to find their girlfriends had moved on and married older men. Others attempted to bring their girlfriends here to find out they've been used as a mere stepping stone to "greener pastures".


Category 2: Those who used and dumped white women for papers and then brought their "ungrateful Nigerian wives" abroad.

Men who are desperate for papers often opt for the easy way out: marrying an older white woman (and in some cases a poor unsuspecting black woman from another African country who has papers) ... they do this with the mindset that they would bring their "real wife" from Nigeria.
Now when their 'wife' divorces them.. these men will scream betrayal, forgetting the trail of heartbreaks they've left behind.. Now how do such men think they will use a foreign woman, break her heart, and yet live happily ever after with an imported bride?? how??

In summary,

When I hear stories of bitter divorces and men killing their spouse whom they brought from Nigeria I can't help but think this could've been avoided if they focused on settling with a so called "akata". Yes, she may not feign fake 'submission' like home-based Nigerian chicks, but what makes her less likely to 'betray' or mess you up is the absence of entitlement mentality.
...someone coming directly from Nigeria typically has a dog eat dog mentality caused by an oppressive system of lack. Whereas an abroad based chick already learns not to depend on a man from as early as 16 - 17 years of age.. most already have part time jobs as students and know the value of working for their money.. they won't take crap but at least what you see is what you get.. abroad based girls (akatas) are not angels but are far better than the pretenders back home y'all believe are "wife materials".. but people generally hold on to an illusion over what is real.

Hintona:


On nairaland or in real life?

humilitypays:
pls who get NOKIA pin mouth charger here, our I pass my neighbor gen just blew the one i bought yesterday

omoharry:
Nigeria is good for you ? You must be living comfortably here