Advice needed pls.

I've been with this guy for close to four years now and its not really been a perfect relationship. Lots of ups and downs due to what I can term insecurity. At some point we're cool and the next minute issues arises just like every other relationship.

He's a good guy to some extent as he showers me with love ( my thoughts)and a lot of times he gives gifts not money though. I've had to give financial assistance to him alot of times, he returns some if he deemed it necessary and doesn't return if he so wishes. I've never complained about this and still always willing to help him out whenever he is in need. Pls note that we're both financially ok.

This gesture of me offering him financial help stopped when I realise he doesn't do same to me. I've had to test him on serval occasions that I needed financial help and he has never for once helped out on those request despite knowing he has. I never needed the money though, I made those request to know if I could actually fall back to him if I'm in need.

Last year October, I told him about my plans of getting a new car as I got tired of the one I was using. Pls note that I did not request him to buy for me neither did I ask for any support whatsoever. I contacted my source in the US with my budget and spec, was able to find one in a short time and I paid for it. All of this moves were known to him. By December, the car arrived and cleared accordingly with every expenses incurred payed by me. He gave some moral support though.

A week after getting the car, he called me one morning and started apologising for not supporting financially in getting the car which I told him I had no issues with that. I told him I wasn't expecting more than moral support from him since I could afford getting the car on my own. I also made him realise he doesn't owe me no apology as I wasn't t his responsibility since we weren't married and that even if we were married, ill always want to get my stuffs myself as long as I can afford it. The next I heard was him ranting on phone that he doesn't expect less from me, said I'm a proud and that he knew I wasn't going to be a good wife. He said he has always known I wasn't going to be a submissive wife and a whole lot of other derogatory words despite not having issues whatsoever prior to that time. I ended the call as I was so surprised he could say those mean words to me.

All through that day he didn't call back and I did not as well cos I was expecting him to realise I was hurt by his actions. A week pass and still no call from him so I decided to call him and he didn't pick. I'd sent a lot of of messages to him and has not replied to any. I'd gone to his house to check up on him and not met him too. Its been three weeks now and we haven't spoken and seen despite all of my effort to talk to him and or see.

Guys please I'm confused and do not know how to handle the issue. Pls advice.

Lol. You are in love

i love to buy a new pone make i drop my acc. n for ur bf give him time u b u u need a u time also just like am doing my self

Have you ever heard of
..."We muuve"¿

That bobo has sparogatively muuved on! You should do the same too

singing
Muuve on muuve on don't be tired!
My saviour understands
It shall be well
Oh my sister...
Muuve on muuve on don't be tired!
My saviour understands
It shall be well

The battle is between INSECURITY and INDEPENDENCY

Nature is trying to tell you that you guys ain't compatible. You should read the handwriting on the wall. Move on. It's better to cry now than cry later when you get trapped in that thing called MARRIAGE


Someone once said "wahala dey like DANGOTE towel, e no dey cover nyash finish"

Shea you get the point now...

wahala.

He'd knew you ll come begging.

my advice; let him be, if he's meant to come back he will.

There is more to this story. You have not given us the full gist.
But where is he so we may ask him naa??

Insecured Men can not handle independent women.

He is financially not buoyant so he already feeling threatened.

If you are planning of marrying him, dont do it, you will regret it, his insecurities will make you go mad and might end up making the marriage filled with fights.

You don't want to be with a man that will accuse you of cheating, that will monitor your movements and accuse you of everything bad all because you have more money than him.

If he doesn't pick his call, ex him, go find for your levels.

Ma nigga is feeling insecure.

ResourceHub:
When you finally see him let us know Who knows maybe you threatened him hard enough to go sleep in cemetery for ten weeks just to blow

Your boyfriend is now a SMAN member.

Give the niggy space small... When time reach una go settle & do the make up sex

Relationship is not by force if he doesn't want to relate with you kiss him goodbye abi you can't leave the Gbola alone

[quote author=Habby222 post=97958122]Advice needed pls.

I've been with this guy for close to four years now and its not really been a perfect relationship. Lots of ups and downs due to what I can term insecurity. At some point we're cool and the next minute issues arises just like every other relationship.

He's a good guy to some extent as he showers me with love ( my thoughts)and a lot of times he gives gifts not money though. I've had to give financial assistance to him alot of times, he returns some if he deemed it necessary and doesn't return if he so wishes. I've never complained about this and still always willing to help him out whenever he is in need. Pls note that we're both financially ok.

This gesture of me offering him financial help stopped when I realise he doesn't do same to me. I've had to test him on serval occasions that I needed financial help and he has never for once helped out on those request despite knowing he has. I never needed the money though, I made those request to know if I could actually fall back to him if I'm in need.

Last year October, I told him about my plans of getting a new car as I got tired of the one I was using. Pls note that I did not request him to buy for me neither did I ask for any support whatsoever. I contacted my source in the US with my budget and spec, was able to find one in a short time and I paid for it. All of this moves were known to him. By December, the car arrived and cleared accordingly with every expenses incurred payed by me. He gave some moral support though.

A week after getting the car, he called me one morning and started apologising for not supporting financially in getting the car which I told him I had no issues with that. I told him I wasn't expecting more than moral support from him since I could afford getting the car on my own. I also made him realise he doesn't owe me no apology as I wasn't t his responsibility since we weren't married and that even if we were married, ill always want to get my stuffs myself as long as I can afford it. The next I heard was him ranting on phone that he doesn't expect less from me, said I'm a proud and that he knew I wasn't going to be a good wife. He said he has always known I wasn't going to be a submissive wife and a whole lot of other derogatory words despite not having issues whatsoever prior to that time. I ended the call as I was so surprised he could say those mean words to me.

All through that day he didn't call back and I did not as well cos I was expecting him to realise I was hurt by his actions. A week pass and still no call from him so I decided to call him and he didn't pick. I'd sent a lot of of messages to him and has not replied to any. I'd gone to his house to check up on him and not met him too. Its been three weeks now and we haven't spoken and seen despite all of my effort to talk to him and or see.

Guys please I'm confused and do not know how to handle the issue. Pls advice. just keep faith dear, if he truly loves you he will surely come back to u. if really u saying the truth about what happened i don't think u are at fault here. pls don't give yourself high BP, u got to be calm.

My dear let him be. He's very childish and insecure, guys like that will prefer to see you broke and miserable crawling to him every now and then to tell him your problem while he mocks and indirectly insult you before giving you less than half of the financial assistance you requested for, than succeed.

People like him would rather die than see you climb up the ladder of your career. They will always frown at every success you make and fight tooth and nail go pull you down, they will never ever celebrate geninuely with you on your personal achievements, cos to him you're competing and rubbing shoulders with him. His ego will always see you as a proud, disrespectful, uncultured creature, regardless of the efforts you put in to make that relationship work.

My advice? Let him go. I know it hurts considering the fact that you trusted him with your heart, but believe me, he doesn't deserve you. He'll do worse to you in future if you guys get married. You'll definitely get a more confident and mature guy who will love and value you.

This is one of the ups and down u said ur relationship do have. Just calm down. If u n0t feeling him, call it a quit. Marriage isnt joke. Been there and left

The guy has complex and insecurity problem, Plz stay off him for now or buy RAW EGG and break it on his head. I will advise you move on, a man that like you will come your way soon.

see them bad lawyers judging one-sided story

A man will always be a man... Though ur guy beep up too but there is something about we men, that responsibility of being head is important to us.... If u do things without ur guy's consultation, how do u think he will feel like. Relationship without good communication will crash... U must send messages and receive in a relationship.... Carry urselves along with everything. The way I see It. Ur guy don dey pile am up taytay before he come japa no come dey pick ur call or wants to see u.. Try finding him, he will come back. U two need serious talk once he's back

If you're 100 percent honest with what you wrote here, no plus or minus then your boyfriend is just plain insecure and childish.

The least he could have done was congratulate you and take you out to celebrate, not ghost you for weeks.

Proud and non Submissive Women never ever go far in Relationship and Marriage.... I say this without Remorse

My Dear, U Are Not Proud. He Is Just Too Immature 4 U. Move On With Ur Life.

shantti:
If you love someone, go after him, if he doesnt love you back haunt him down and kill him

I guess some people just like been quoted hence, their reasons for spewing shit

Maybe the guy is a ghost

He just realized he can't handle you.. so he found an easy way out

He has moved on to a new pùssy

merieam16:
I guess some people just like been quoted hence, their reasons for spewing shit

So why did u contradict your view by quoting me, doesnt it show you are idiotic

Op
For me, he was absolutely wrong! His insecurity is on another level and it can't be remedied! You shouldn't have waited for his call for one week before puting a call through to him, that was where you got it wrong. He acted so immatured!

Pls give him some space to see if he will come back to his senses. If he does not, move on with your life and look for new energy cos life is too short. I know it's not gonna be easy but just try. Good luck.