bukatyne:


Christianity clearly teaches leaving and cleaving.

Problem is that most of the women shouting leaving and cleaving here are just like men who shout submission:

They pick the side of the Bible that suits them for their selfish agendas.

Neither of them have the characteristics expected of a Christian.

igbosoupkitchen:


Can you say this all again and again

Iwantpeace:

as in eh....reading from page 1 down here I have been restraining myself from commenting because I remember the insults and backlash I received here when I brought an almost similar issue here but the difference was that I endured everything, I didn't throw his things out ( which is where the op's sis in-law was very wrong) and never will I.. infact I was ready to leave the house for my bro in law n my husband for the sake of the peace of my soul..(marriage no b by force).. like the person you rightly quoted said " a wife becomes a bad wife automatically when the husband is the family's ATM.. she is being villified , bullied , n all that.. only God will save Nigeria women in marriage...

igbosoupkitchen:


The unfortunate part is that the husband belives his people are actually doing it out of love,not knowing it is all because of the money they want to keep getting from him..And the best way to take his eyes of his home is to castigate the wife and call her all bad names ,by doing this their brother will never be happy with the wife he married.

The truth is that inlaws who truly love their brother or sister who is married "allow the couple enjoy their peace"
It is not difficult, where everyone knows and understand their place and respect each other's position, it is easy to have love.

Sadly, reverse is the case , inlaws want to prove that they own the man , but wen the chips are down he becomes the wife's problem, they will never contribute a dime to see the man lifted again...

ume1000:
she would be regard according to her maturity and financial contribution to the home

Iwantpeace:

God bless you my sis.. I told him one one occasion that he doesn't respect or loves his brother he only loves the money the brother is giving to him if not he won't be talking to me anyhow all in the name of I m in my brother's house and should that money finishes today the same way they have turned the eldest bro and his wife to subservient people because they are still struggling that's the same way they will behave towards my husband.. see ba in this life especially in Nigeria marriages whether you as the wife or husband have money oooo if not ...hmmmm...in-laws from both sides will come and be carrying their entitlements mentallty to you..

NikAustine:
Years but the truth is that every Nigeria family has same Dynamics especially when the a sibling(blood) is involved.. Some might be logical but women aren't always logical when it comes to their kids. so imagine what the woman(mother) will do when she hears that her son's wife threw out her other son? I'm pretty sure e no go to good for her for that house that's just the truth you guys are refusing to understand.
It not entirely her house. tomorrow she might need the same brother she just threw out for something but now she has burnt the bridge

lovethchioma:
It is because those women do not know the place of the Law in this matter.

They are the ones that want to leave na. You can't throw a woman legally married to you just like that. In the case of Tonto Dike, she left because she wanted to. House wasn't her problem, peace of mind was.

Tiwa Savage threw her husband out of the house. Women throw men out of the house too. Depending on who bought the land.

Let's not talk about who throws who out. That's not my point.

The point is, once you're legally married, you co-own every property with your partner. Especially the ones you had while married to them. And in the case of divorce, it must be shared equally.

Women allow themselves to be cheated in this country... that's why you people make statements like "husband house." Which husband house? Is the woman a visitor in her own home?

Nwodosis:
Everything is your brother's own and both you worked for it? How?
My friend allow your brother's wife to enjoy her marriage, which right do you have to go and open a married woman's pot to serve not even yourself but a friend? You owe her an apology.

All these home breakers quoting me, that he cooked the food by himself. In whose kitchen and with whose authority? Most problems in marriage is from husband's parents and relations mostly if the man is the family ATM. Marrying a family breadwinner makes one an automatic Bad Wife in the hearts of the husband's family.

pocohantas:


She will throw him out again and again, nothing will happen. Shebi they threw him out and he ran to come open thread? As Bob the builder he is, I thought he would break into the house he built with his brother (her husband).

None of you here will take him in, your virtuous wives won’t even allow it and una no wan spoil una own home. Does she have the right to fling him out? YES. Was it right to fling him out? NO. However, I am glad the nonsense EBSU boy would have his wings clipped.




The issue here is not having RESPECT. Respect your brothers wives, you will not die!!!!

Slynation:
So your brother is now an intruder because you got married Nigerian men are so wonderful....

ume1000:
if woman try this nonsense with my brother na slap I go take greet am

Mokason288:

If you are married/ when you get married through your wife’s sisters things out side and see

MLTR:




I need remind you these is nigeria, legal, traditionally or religious the woman is the one to exit, incase of tiwa she owns. enough of the deviation to the main point;
As much as i agree with your point we all know it is only valid as long as the man play along ... these is nigeria lets not just talk about properties even the child belongs to the man, except you are married to a wealthy man what you will get is monthly child support.
I won't say women allow themselves to be cheated, the laws favours the men there is really nothing women can do.

NikAustine:
Do you know if he reports this to the family especially the mother, it will make the wife become an enemy to the family? The mother and possibly his siblings will make it their point to end that marriage. And you know the way a Son takes his mother, she comes first before his wife.

eyinjuege:


I don miss you pa

lovethchioma:
I agree that in Nigeria the law seems to favour the men, that's why they do certain things and get away with it.

But then again, a man will not throw a woman out just like that especially if they built the house when they were legally married. Even if she came to meet the house already built.

Anyway, it's because of this rubbish we keep telling women to make sure their names are included on every property they worked together to own with their husbands... they'll wise up.

I wasn't expecting you to bring in kids to this matter but since you're there already, I'll talk. The kids do not belong to the man entirely. There's no where in the world that the children a woman birth is said to belong the man.

In the case of divorce, the court favours the woman more than the man when it comes to who have the custody. The children are likely to stay with the mother, while the man is obligated to support.

The only time the man is given custody of the kids is if he proves that the ex wife does not have what it takes to train the kids. Or that they are not safe with her. Or that she is mentally ill or incapacitated.

MLTR:




[s]its Rubbish everywhere actually !! the laws will alway favour one gender above the other .... a slogan says "these world no just balance"
Women have also proven to be wicked, evil and heartless where the laws favour their course so tell the kettles to stop callin pot black.
Legally or anyhow we chose to look @ it, in nigeria a man owns the child, in cases where the children are minor the court apply discretion to let the woman nurse the children which is understandable but when those children come of age the man can have them, its alway up to the man here in nigeria. my sista do your research.[/s]

seanwilliam:
This might be fake story ..



But however if it was real, dem no born any of my brothers’ wives well make she follow me do that rubbish when she is not mad. If she does and my brother was also in support of her , I will block them both and I WILL NEVER forgive them till the day I leave this world ..

If my wife does that to my brother ( even if my brother is wrong ), I will send her packing till she comes back to her sense and I go scold my brother too but not in the presence of my wife..


Las las na see finish Dey cause all these things.. me wey be say all my brothers wives Dey kneel down greet me anytime I go there.. most of them even love it if I sleep over ( it might be fake love though ).


Op if you and your brother joined hands buy the property then u need to demand your share with force before u leave..


I’m a gentleman but never a fool

pocohantas:


I am surprised you haven’t given up the ghost. So you can go 24hrs without trolling me, Jornwhite?

freetheking:
I agree with you if he has a means of getting his own apartment better. We have good wife's that See's her husband family as hers but the bad ones..... you know the rest.

emi1000:
Why can't we just live in peace in this world? Your brother's wife is now part of your family, there should be peace and love between the both families, op I'm not saying you are at fault o, I'm just wondering why people keep having issues with their brother's wife, it baffles me�

pocohantas:


One extremely useless alfa male crossed my path as usual, as I reply am- small reply o, ban. Though the ban expired days ago, na just the OP matter annoy me to comment. As for the alfa male, trap wey I set for am be like the one wey OP SIL set for kitchen . I missed you too nne, I always with you.




I wonder why they are conveniently ignoring that part. Would we be having this argument if Op was a female and had same issue with the sister’s husband, let alone talking back at him?

By the way, na him o. We ladies no dey mumu like this abeg.




OP’s mates are also working hard to be the next Zuckerberg, if they are not already Zuckerbergs. He is there exchanging words with his brother’s wife. Nonsense EBSU boy.

Richy4:



I can just imagine what would have happened assuming OP dished out the food she (the sister in law) prepared by herself to his friend ... His luggage would have been at the entrance gate to their estate.. .

All we wanted for them is peace my brother nothing more..

what I disliked in some people's attitude here on Nairaland is that sometimes they seems good at playing 'culture card' when it suits them perfectly.. like in this case, majority have already became Europeans all of a sudden, They have started forming nuclear family on OP.. they have seen OP as someone who has committed a great taboo by staying with his married Elder brother... But did the African culture permits that? that's a question for another day...

But when situation shifts bases, and sh!t hits the roof in a relationship between married couple,, the same people dishing out Europeans style advise; that were forming nuclear family will be like why not call his family, don't u have uncle, sister, bla bla bla..They just remembered African culture when it feels convenient...It's just annoying..

24kmagic:
I hope and pray for a good sister in-law in the future, I really do. But in the event that we don't like each other, there's going to be some serious troubles.

I will try as much as possible not to encroach her space. But in the case of kitchen affairs, she dare not.

Who told women that the kitchen belongs to them only? As if they even know how to cook mtcheew.
If my sister in-law tries this rubbish with me, I will make sure I frustrate her life as long as I live.

She'll never wish to step into our family house again I swear. Even that my brother I will deal with him.

The only people I will spare are their kids.

But both my brother and his wife will not have a happy marriage, cos I will turn the whole family against them.

Rubbish.

MLTR:




its Rubbish everywhere actually !! the laws will alway favour one gender above the other .... a slogan says "these world no just balance"
Women have also proven to be wicked, evil and heartless where the laws favour their course so tell the kettles to stop callin pot black.
Legally or anyhow we chose to look @ it, in nigeria a man owns the child, in cases where the children are minor the court apply discretion to let the woman nurse the children which is understandable but when those children come of age the man can have them, its alway up to the man here in nigeria. my sista do your research.

ImaIma1:


It's important to discuss these things before marriage. Especially about having family live in. There's nothing wrong with spending weekend, spending some time but living with them can be a problem. The wife needs privacy rather than have someone monitoring her.

I commented some weeks back about how I was praying for omugwo to be over so my MIL could go because she used to monitor me; complain about everything., my stew is too thick, i eat groundnut a lot, etc.

Living in peace should not be hard when people respect each other's space. When I was single and I visited my brother's house, the wife would happily leave the kitchen for me to cook for them. Even after I cook, I still call her to dish for me.

It's her house and respect is important. There's no competition. I have my place in my brother's heart and she does too...simple.

Richy4:


Oh!!! You got good news and you were hiding it.. Congratulations on the baby... How are you and the baby doing?.. What's the gender?...I am happy for you

You are right that living in peace should not be hard. believe me I love peace alot and anything that will not give me peace... I just avoid that with all my heart. I also love my space too.. in fact, a lot of it...

But what I do not usually understand is... when a man is living say 2bedrooms flat peacefully with his elder brother no issues whatsoever.. Then the elder brother starts catching feelings towards a lady.. The lady saw the situation of things... how they were living... knowing that the young man was a student or was doing a job that can hardly pay the rent.... The lady entered into the house in the name of legally married and wants the young man out of the house.. Starts putting restrictions here and there, acting alfa in the kitchen... She now wants to create a situation where she wants the husband to choose between his siblings and herself.. and u know how dangerous that situation is for any man...

What I do not understand is...she saw the situation of things before she agreed to marry the man right?.. is she not supposed to have brought the issues up before tying the knots so that the man can decide to find an alternative living arrangement for the siblings or call the relationship off.. I bet that's just what may have transpired between OP and the sister inlaw...