She actually does have the right

iamGholdaniel:
I am angry right now,
My brother’s wife is so full of pain, whenever she sight me.
I don’t know where this hatred is coming from, today she did worst than before.
a male friend visited, and I went to the kitchen to cook and serve him.

After my friend left she started ranting, and I shouted back at her.

She packed out my belongings , and she started throwing my bags and other stuffs outside.
She locked the house entrance and left with the keys

I decided to stay calm and wait for my brother to come back.

Because everything my brother own, we both struggled for it.

You shouted back at her, in her house.
Please respect yourself and go get your place. When I was single I never stayed more than a month at a time in my married sister house. They didn't pursue me, They were happy with me, but I needed respect.
I never entertained any guest in my sister's house.

From your write-up, I believe you feel the kitchen utensils and appliances are yours as well, since you both struggled for it.
I will advise you like a brother: ask your elder brother to give you your share of the wealth (I hope you did not eat yours) so that you can leave.

cricifixo:
Unfortunately she does and can equally shoot you for trespassing

Please she doesn't. She doesn't have the right, unless the husband is dead, or it is the woman that built the house or is paying the rent. But as long as the man is still alive, and provided the shelter, then such decision and action should be the man's. And OP said that the jointly owe some of the properties, so the woman no get right at all.

heniford2:
so nice piece but if my brothers wife did this to me is war with her in the family as a whole because she will never have peace until she apologies full stop

I can just imagine what would have happened assuming OP dished out the food she (the sister in law) prepared by herself to his friend ... His luggage would have been at the entrance gate to their estate.. .

All we wanted for them is peace my brother nothing more..

what I disliked in some people's attitude here on Nairaland is that sometimes they seems good at playing 'culture card' when it suits them perfectly.. like in this case, majority have already became Europeans all of a sudden, They have started forming nuclear family on OP.. they have seen OP as someone who has committed a great taboo by staying with his married Elder brother... But did the African culture permits that? that's a question for another day...

But when situation shifts bases, and sh!t hits the roof in a relationship between married couple,, the same people dishing out Europeans style advise; that were forming nuclear family will be like why not call his family, don't u have uncle, sister, bla bla bla..They just remembered African culture when it feels convenient...It's just annoying..

Richy4:
<<< OP, The reason why you felt insulted could be that you have been living in that house with your brother before he married your sister inlaw and three of you were now sharing that same space that was your territory back then... You feel that she has no right to encroach on your already made heaven.. and she too feel that she's the rightful owner of the place... so she decided to show you that she is MRS.

<<<< Here's what I think.. I think she has no right to throw your thing outside the house irrespective of what you have done... She has no respect for your brother..i might be wrong but she's the one calling the shots in that marriage if she couldn't wait for your brother to return so she can register her displeasure to him(that's none of my business anyways).. Assuming reverse was the case, and she was living with her own sister, can your brother throw her sister inlaw's belongings outside when the wife was not around..

<<<< OP, you should stop cooking for your friends... You are no longer living with your brother alone... serve them light refreshments when they come visiting.. when you get your own place, then you can cook for them and do as you like...You need not to drag territory with your sister-in-law.. All you have to do is hit the ignore button at all times.. maintain emotional and social distancing from her until you get your own place..

<<<< Finally please.. Please... and Please, whatever decision your brother takes concerning this issue, do not hate him... You might not know the emotional tussle going on behind close doors... The decision might be for him to just have peace of mind.. Help your brother to achieve that peace please..

Heed to this advise please. I will add that you have a brotherly talk with him to help you with resources to move to your place since both of you worked hard to achieve success together.

iamGholdaniel:
I am angry right now,
My brother’s wife is so full of pain, whenever she sight me.
I don’t know where this hatred is coming from, today she did worst than before.
a male friend visited, and I went to the kitchen to cook and serve him.

After my friend left she started ranting, and I shouted back at her.

She packed out my belongings , and she started throwing my bags and other stuffs outside.
She locked the house entrance and left with the keys

I decided to stay calm and wait for my brother to come back.

Because everything my brother own, we both struggled for it.

See them, entitled set of people, when your brother was making money and getting married, what were you doing with your life?

From your write up:

1. You have titlement mentality.

2. you shouted back at her, in her house, obviously u have been a torn in her flesh.

Please respect yourself and go get your place. Allow the woman to enjoy her marriage and for your own peace.

besides what were u doing when your brother was busy settling down?

Richy4:



I can just imagine what would have happened assuming OP dished out the food she (the sister in law) prepared by herself to his friend ... His luggage would have been at the entrance gate to their estate.. .

All we wanted for them is peace my brother nothing more..

what I disliked in some people's attitude here on Nairaland is that sometimes they seems good at playing 'culture card' when it suits them perfectly.. like in this case, majority have already became Europeans all of a sudden, They have started forming nuclear family on OP.. they have seen OP as someone who has committed a great taboo by staying with his married Elder brother... But did the African culture permits that? that's a question for another day...

But when situation shifts bases, and sh!t hits the roof in a relationship between married couple,, the same people dishing out Europeans style advise; that were forming nuclear family will be like why not call his family, don't u have uncle, sister, bla bla bla..They just remembered African culture when it feels convenient...It's just annoying..

so true i had this friend of mine who got married to this witch of a lady it happened that this bitch cut off the family of this my friend and even us, she brain washed this dude on separate life without friends and family the dude was hopeless and you see she never did cut off her own family the gang up against my friend no one to help it was him and the lady family the funny part was the butch of a lady family is not that rich nor stable she just want to take away one peaceful family apart this dude was going into different stuff financial break down emotional torn apart no one to confine in nobody he slimed down was totally sick one day i saw him while driving jess i sheared tears i was like is this ugo i called him, to cut the story short dude was dying we talked,gist and drink beer i saw life in him again he told me that for the past 9years he has black listed his family blah blah, i asked him why? did your family members did something wrong to you he said no so why i asked him even in our social club of friends you stop coming we checked on him and he told us his not interested again his married we talked i asked him to call his mom there which he did and his brother check on them too he went home told his wife he meet a friend of his see problem his wife took his phone and called me warning me never to call his husband again nor go out with him that was when fire burst out, i a no nonsense beast made up my mind to be going out with husband my friend

I hope and pray for a good sister in-law in the future, I really do. But in the event that we don't like each other, there's going to be some serious troubles.

I will try as much as possible not to encroach her space. But in the case of kitchen affairs, she dare not.

Who told women that the kitchen belongs to them only? As if they even know how to cook mtcheew.
If my sister in-law tries this rubbish with me, I will make sure I frustrate her life as long as I live.

She'll never wish to step into our family house again I swear. Even that my brother I will deal with him.

The only people I will spare are their kids.

But both my brother and his wife will not have a happy marriage, cos I will turn the whole family against them.

Rubbish.

This is why I'm not quick to judging family that deal badly with a widow.. Now the so-called wife has forgotten that paraventure something happens to the husband tomorrow, is the brothers that will stand for/with her. Position intoxicate women a lot. Op just be calm and make peace...

24kmagic:
I hope and pray for a good sister in-law in the future, I really do. But in the event that we don't like each other, there's going to be some serious troubles.

I will try as much as possible not to encroach her space. But in the case of kitchen affairs, she dare not.

Who told women that the kitchen belongs to them only? As if they even know how to cook mtcheew.
If my sister in-law tries this rubbish with me, I will make sure I frustrate her life as long as I live.

She'll never wish to step into our family house again I swear. Even that my brother I will deal with him.

The only people I will spare are their kids.

But both my brother and his wife will not have a happy marriage, cos I will turn the whole family against them.

Rubbish.

Man like you go fight your sister in law for her kitchen? Nigerian women av suffered.

Especially in my bedroom, my wife has more right than me.
Abeg sisters, go, get married and enjoy someone else brother

24kmagic:
I hope and pray for a good sister in-law in the future, I really do. But in the event that we don't like each other, there's going to be some serious troubles.

I will try as much as possible not to encroach her space. But in the case of kitchen affairs, she dare not.

Who told women that the kitchen belongs to them only? As if they even know how to cook mtcheew.
If my sister in-law tries this rubbish with me, I will make sure I frustrate her life as long as I live.

She'll never wish to step into our family house again I swear. Even that my brother I will deal with him.

The only people I will spare are their kids.

But both my brother and his wife will not have a happy marriage, cos I will turn the whole family against them.

Rubbish.

Nonsense

1195meters:
Man like you go fight your sister in law for her kitchen? Nigerian women av suffered.

How is it her kitchen?
Did she bring it from her father's house?

Yes

Yes ooo pack your load and go

you dey mad...b4 nko, u no go go marry u 1 cuz problem abi

iamGholdaniel:
I am angry right now,
My brother’s wife is so full of pain, whenever she sight me.
I don’t know where this hatred is coming from, today she did worst than before.
a male friend visited, and I went to the kitchen to cook and serve him.

After my friend left she started ranting, and I shouted back at her.

She packed out my belongings , and she started throwing my bags and other stuffs outside.
She locked the house entrance and left with the keys

I decided to stay calm and wait for my brother to come back.

Because everything my brother own, we both struggled for it.

She has every right so calm down and respect her cos if you disrespect her then you disrespect your brother.

iamGholdaniel:
I am angry right now,
My brother’s wife is so full of pain, whenever she sight me.
I don’t know where this hatred is coming from, today she did worst than before.
a male friend visited, and I went to the kitchen to cook and serve him.

After my friend left she started ranting, and I shouted back at her.

She packed out my belongings , and she started throwing my bags and other stuffs outside.
She locked the house entrance and left with the keys

I decided to stay calm and wait for my brother to come back.

Because everything my brother own, we both struggled for it.

Yes she has a right..... What are you still doing in your brother's house?

If you both struggled for it, time to request your share and move on........

Nwodosis:
Everything is your brother's own and both you worked for it? How?
My friend allow your brother's wife to enjoy her marriage, which right do you have to go and open a married woman's pot to serve not even yourself but a friend? You owe her an apology.

You are a fool, she is not enjoying her marriage because he dished his friend some food. To leave with you as a wife will be like hell on earth.

iamGholdaniel:
I am angry right now,
My brother’s wife is so full of pain, whenever she sight me.
I don’t know where this hatred is coming from, today she did worst than before.
a male friend visited, and I went to the kitchen to cook and serve him.

After my friend left she started ranting, and I shouted back at her.

She packed out my belongings , and she started throwing my bags and other stuffs outside.
She locked the house entrance and left with the keys

I decided to stay calm and wait for my brother to come back.

Because everything my brother own, we both struggled for it.

your brothers property is not your own except he put you as the sole heir to his estate. that being said, get the furck put of the house and stop feeling entitled. it does not belong to you. it belongs to him and his wife and kids.

How much is room and parlour that you can not rent?

Infact self contain

iamGholdaniel:
I am angry right now,
My brother’s wife is so full of pain, whenever she sight me.
I don’t know where this hatred is coming from, today she did worst than before.
a male friend visited, and I went to the kitchen to cook and serve him.

After my friend left she started ranting, and I shouted back at her.

She packed out my belongings , and she started throwing my bags and other stuffs outside.
She locked the house entrance and left with the keys

I decided to stay calm and wait for my brother to come back.

Because everything my brother own, we both struggled for it.

Let's hear from your bro first...

Yes. She has every right to throw you out. And you don't have any right in your brother's house. Maybe privilege.

iamGholdaniel:
I am angry right now,
My brother’s wife is so full of pain, whenever she sight me.
I don’t know where this hatred is coming from, today she did worst than before.
a male friend visited, and I went to the kitchen to cook and serve him.

After my friend left she started ranting, and I shouted back at her.

She packed out my belongings , and she started throwing my bags and other stuffs outside.
She locked the house entrance and left with the keys

I decided to stay calm and wait for my brother to come back.

Because everything my brother own, we both struggled for it.

Happy Wife = Happy Life......... Your brother knows how his parsnips are been buttered..........

He's male alright..

https://www.nairaland.com/5957791/today-birthday-wish-me-well#91187737

Teleprompter:
Are you make or female ?

If you are female, it is so wrong of you to serve a make friend without permission and if you are a male, it is still wrong but not as wrong as the previous.

A cultured woman who respects her husband would not react the way she did packing your belongings and locking the door. She has no regard for her husband even if she is paying the rent, she does not need to act that way.

For you as a person, learn to respect boundaries. Even if your brother owes all his wealth to you, you must not be flaunting that to third parties.

Let's hear how your brother reacted when he found out about this.

iamGholdaniel:


Alright

there is nothing wrong in going to ur in-laws kitchen is all about understanding Nd removing hatred Nd pride in our selves.unless they have been battling for supreme Marcy

Once your brother is married pls see him as a stranger... Women are evil

hor....weray maa poo lorii awon manipulators tii won pe nii obirin yen...na the same engineer work for all of them brain...none is different except ur mother and sisters and thats because they are blood....

I have been kicked out before and had no where to turn to. All I did was lol, for I knew the strength of smiling in our pain. Things will fall in place trust me

Wot where u doing der in d first place....gv dem space pls

crackhaus:
Only people who are possessed with the spirit of witchcraft and afflicted with poverty mentality, will see anything wrong when a woman's BIL goes into the kitchen to cook something for his guest/friend. I said what I said...


In this decade when women are taking charge of industries and big businesses, some are still forming alpha & omega of kitchen matters.

This is the end of the matter!