So recently, I’ve been having this feeling that my fiancé is a cheat, I’m not a type of woman who do choke my partner or check his phones cause I respect his privacy, even though he has always been checking my phone, going through my social media accounts and all other things, sometimes he will use my fingers to unlock my phone while sleeping just to go through it.

We’ve been dating since 2018, we became best of friends and our families are cool together, he is caring and jovial, he doesn’t hide things from me most especially financial issues, our social lives are almost the same, in short we are good together. We planned to do our engagement last year December but due to the way things were last year we postponed it and decided to pick another date, though I now spend half of my days at his place.

Fast forward to January this year, I started seeing some red signs that he is a cheat, many times I took his phone to unlock and go through since I know his passwords but I will drop it again cause there is no way I will check his phone without seeing things that will tamper with my peace of mind, since then, I’ve decided to open my eyes and ears more wider.

Later on , I discovered that anytime I am around, his phones were always on airplane mode, he only works on system, my heart started asking me different questions but I kept calm and I continued with my quest to catch him red handed, though I confronted him that he is cheating but he laughed at me and said 95% of men do cheat but he is among the remaining 5% that doesn’t.

Last month, we both decided to go on vacation, it was then I saw that I was actually in a relationship with a dog like person. There was a particular number that kept calling him, maybe he forgot to put the phone on airplane mode, at first I overlooked it but the number kept on calling about 59 times, it was then that I decided to pick it up and I heard a female voice, she said “you asshole, so you decided not to pick my calls because she is around, come online, I left you a message there” my heart skipped, who was she referring to as “she”? It was then I decided to unlock his phone for the first time and I just wish I didn’t do that, my eyes were heavy with tears as I was reading all sorts of conversations between him and different girls, not one, not two, not three, about ten of them, some even sent him nude pictures, he already bleeped some, some are still under format, two of them are new preys. I cried, many of them even know me, one even referred to me as his witch, I wept bitterly, I was on this weeping when he entered the room and saw me crying, all he could say was that how will I touch his phone in the first place.

He later apologised, after the much argument, I started parking my things to come back to out state, I told him I am done with the relationship, he started laughing at me and started shouting at the top of his voice “ babe you must be crazy, you are definitely out of your mind, how on earth must you think you can leave the relationship that I summoned up so much courage to ask you out? Listen woman, even if I cheat everyday, I can’t leave you, the truth is I will always cheat, I will apologise if been caught but I can’t ever place any woman above you,vI met our pastor in the hotel with another babe the last time I went to hotel for quickie with one chick, if pastors do cheat, who am I not to. At least you have the key to everything I have, if my parents can’t reach me, they will deliver the message to you, are you hungry? Are you looking rough? Do you want sex and I denied you? So what else should be your problem with me cheating “

I was short of words, he wasn’t even remorseful, I left there angrily and he kept calling, later he called his parents to explain the issues to them and they called me and pleaded, to make the situation worse his mom also said all men cheat. He has been threatening me that he won’t allow me to marry any other person, guys I’m really confused, please what can I do now, I don’t want to spend the rest of my life with a man who doesn’t have taste.

how on earth must you think you can leave the relationship that I summoned up so much courage to ask you out?

I like this your boyfriend oo.


If actually you know what it takes to ask a Nigerian girl out


Your boyfriend suppose win Time's Man of the Year.

Hmmm I'm afraid I have both of you to blame. I do not support what he did but you too are just beginning to understand the life of a man. Most men do it but your man was wrong in that he didn't place you high enough over others. You are probably one of the kind of women who get deeply pained over cheating. For you at this level of getting close to marriage and still have the inkling that there's no tendency for him to cheat is being unrealistic. I'm not saying he has d right to cheat but for a woman who's ready to stay in marriage, you shd have learnt before now to take your mind off his cheating tendency. I guess that wasn't included in your upbringing or self training. That's what your mom-in-law was trying to figure out for you..like a woman who wants to last in husband house must close her eyes off her husband's cheating tendency blabla.

For him not to groom you from the onset that he's a free man sexually so as to prepare your mind for what you're coming into is also wrong. For him to tell his side chicks that you're in his life is good, it shows he values you despite their sexual service...some men will deny their wives. But for them to call you names like witch and he's comfortable with it is wrong. Strangely, there are some ladies who even work out chicks for their fiance when they're not around. But it's d man who shd be careful not to misbehave.

Listen woman,even if I cheat everyday,I can’t leave you,the truth is I will always cheat,I will apologise if been caught but I can’t ever place any woman above you,

This is true for many men. They'll see other girls they like but won't place them above you.

But from your description of him, he seem not to care about your respect. When some men will frown at side chicks for abusing their wives both in her presence and absence, he was too flexible that they have no regard for you. Then also, you need to ignore the number of girls you saw on his phone, it's not always like that. Before a man gets a girl to sleep with, he has to toast about 3-5 before one succumbs, shakara won't let others. So it doesn't mean he's sleeping with 10 girls at the moment.

DUMP HIM.

patiently waiting for the special advisers. My advise, run babe because he will never change

StacyO:
DUMP HIM.

Still won't bring back anything

I know its hard especially if ur the loyal type but just forgive and forget pls.. even when we meet that one woman that completes us it takes God's grace not to wander once in a while... He's been caught now u have the upper hand. Forgive this time but let him know u will not take it again if ever he cheats on u. No man be 100%. The next guy could be worse off..

that guy na werey.... I no know why werey people no dey befriend or marry their kind.

He is showing you the characteristics of the 5%.




95, 5, 59, 10 ... Pls which number did I miss?

Go freshen up, look at ur self in the mirror and talk to ur self, talk to cups while washing plates too watch more disney cartoons, i can suggest some if u don't mind, eat good food, listen to more cool rhythm and blue genre of music. eat fruit mostly in the evening, like around 5 to 6, sometimes have warm shower 5am in the morning and 9pm in the night.
what i'm tryna say is that i read about genital herps yesterday morning and i thank God the great awareness.
And lastly, Tell him to invite you to his wedding , hope you're good now
as long as he

dairykidd:
I know its hard especially if ur the loyal type but just forgive and forget pls.. even when we meet that one woman that completes us it takes God's grace not to wander once in a while... He's been caught now u have the upper hand. Forgive this time but let him know u will not take it again if ever he cheats on u. No man be 100%. The next guy could be worse off..

Somebody that has told her that he will always cheat. It's suprising that no one is slamming the man compared to if it was a woman. Op, the only thing i will tell you is to go ahead if you're not afraid of STDs, him having children outside or him bringing the women home or even threat afterall he has justified his cheating and isnt remorseful. As for those advising her to stay, can you take a cheating partner or advise your sister to stay in such a r/ship? Afterall, whats good for the gander is good for the goose.

StacyO:
DUMP HIM.

Lol. Nothing better is expected from an NL lady


If this one sees ur guy, she will grab him aand shower him with love and she's advicing you to...not even separate peacefully but dump. A decision you may regret later

Pls op be properly guided

Be financially independent Una no gree oya see insult nah....

This one won't even show remorse if he brings HIV/AIDS, STD, STI STAPHYLOCOCCUS AUREUS and the rest back home, he is proud that he is cheating...

you better leave ooo, is he God that he won't see you marry another.... but with the way you are sounding, you seem to go back to him soon...

The issue is you at the guy mercy...... I will advise you to quit.


This is what happens when a lady depends on a man too much... Imagine him asking are you hungry.....am I not doing this and that for you.

Never depend on a man.....be financially independent to avoid a man telling you all that.

A leopard can never change it's spot. The best thing to do if possible is quit. No amount of prayers can stop him from cheating. It's in his blood and only a miracle can prevent him from continuing his mission.

chinonyinye:
Somebody that has told her that he will always cheat. It's suprising that no one is slamming the man compared to if it was a woman. Op, the only thing i will tell you is to go ahead if you're not afraid of STDs, him having children outside or him bringing the women home or even threat afterall he has justified his cheating and isnt remorseful. As for those advising her to stay, can you take a cheating partner or advise your sister to stay in such a r/ship? Afterall, whats good for the gander is good for the goose.

Well u have a point. He shouldn't have tried to justify what he did. I'm just saying no one is perfect if u can put up with their shortcomings then its better than trying to look for that perfect one that's mostly a pipe dream.

Let me sit and learn.. I'm tired of relationship brouhaha, I'm taking a break myself and I suggest you do too. Love yourself and take some time off, if after all the self evaluation you still want him despite what he has done then it's your choice. No one here knows him better than you do, know your worth and stick to it.

I hope you are financially stable and can take good care of yourself. so that he won't use that to hold you hostage when you guys finally get married. That's why so many women are still trapped in their marriage all because they don't have option (financially). That's all I can say.

At least he's honest. Most of y'all women cheat and lie all the time. You'd better stick with that honest, god-fearing man if you know what's good for you. At least he places you above the rest. That should comfort you. There's no guarantee your next wouldn't turn out a worse devil

chinonyinye:
Somebody that has told her that he will always cheat. It's suprising that no one is slamming the man compared to if it was a woman. Op, the only thing i will tell you is to go ahead if you're not afraid of STDs, him having children outside or him bringing the women home or even threat afterall he has justified his cheating and isnt remorseful. As for those advising her to stay, can you take a cheating partner or advise your sister to stay in such a r/ship? Afterall, whats good for the gander is good for the goose.

The truth is women too dey lie. They won't admit it like he did. Una worse pass devil.
The man is honest. How many women can do that? Nil

That guy is a Legend

But for real even if you leave him the next one will still cheat only that you might find out after marriage and he is being honest.

Men will be men, we weren't built to belong to one, just like Lions

I'm reading so many disgusting replies but I would rather not comment on them..

Cheating is not a shortcoming of anyone and should never be accepted in a relationship. It's not a mistake and neither is it part of ups and downs of any relationship.

Any man that believes every man must, should be castrated. Only a man that lacks priority in life and has no intention of treating any woman right, believes every man must cheat. It's a disgusting way of life.

I am sure you know that this man isn't your rightful partner. Whatever truly belongs you won't embarrass you.

My advise? End every pending relationship with him, take your time and heal up. Then look for what truly belongs to you. This current man is a dirty scumbag and shouldn't taint your beautiful life.

I wish you good luck in all your endeavors.

manage him like that..[img]

He is showing you the characteristics of the 5%. 95, 5, 59, 10 ... Pls which number did I miss?

The GUY said a lot of truths the females do not want to hear. Some of us are trying our best even though its REALLY hard. The craziest part being women will forgive and peace will reign. I always marvel at their GOLDEN hearts. HAPPY WOMEN'S DAY!

Audition for Man of the Year 2021 has just been closed

Amma buy dat niqqa a beer every fvrkin day till the end of the year

damn niggar izzoryte

I can't cheat on my partner that's why I don't fancy being in any relationship..

Imagine one girl asking me 'this thing we are doing is it serious at all'? Person wey I never ask out o.

I stopped seeing her, she started threatening me..

Lol, immediately I finished reading OP's story, I already knew how the comment section would be. To anyone here trying to defend the fiance even in the slightest bit, shame on you. If it were to be a girl telling her bf "all girls cheat so you just have to deal with it", I'm very sure everyone single person here would rain insults and curses on her but because it's a guy, everyone wants to turn a blind eye smh. Anyways, I'm not even surprised, why would they condemn him, when they all act in the same manner.

To the OP, my advice for you is to record any threatening messages or words he says to you and take it to the police now, rather than waiting for him to fulfill his threats. You also have to call off the engagement, though it would be painful. Please do not listen to what his parents have to tell you, there might be some people who don't mind being with a cheating husband but if you know you're not one of them, please leave him unless you want to have an unhappy marriage. Have you even considered that fact that you are likely to contact any STDs he might have.

Well, that's the advice I have to give you, take it if you like.

SarutobiEky:
At least he's honest. Most of y'all women cheat and lie all the time. You'd better stick with that honest, god-fearing man if you know what's good for you. At least he places you above the rest. That should comfort you. There's no guarantee your next wouldn't turn out a worse devil

What are you even saying? "at least he's honest" Was he honest when he told her he's among the 5% that doesn't cheat? Abegi! He wasn't honest, he was only caught!

I'm not trying to justify any girl that cheats, but let's be honest with ourselves.