After so many years of sharing bits and pieces of my life with you, now, I
am fully letting you into my world.

The person you become is a collation of experiences of your life. The
good, the bad and the ugly. Hence, every experience is one I celebrate
because I have overcome.

Friends, join me and let’s have a toast to life. #atoasttolife

Please visit my YouTube page by clicking the link in my bio to go on this
journey with me.

Xoxo,

Juliet Ibrahim

Watch video below:


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rlHLHOuV_os

Beauty entrepreneur, award-winning actress, and ex Big Brother Nigeria
Housemate, Ifu Ennada looked stunning in this 1920s Great Gatsby-inspired
look, which she rocked to a movie premiere over the weekend.

Styled by Swanky Jerry, this vivacious House of Nwocha dress perfectly
accentuated Ifu’s sexy petite, frame. And can we talk about that
eye-catching headpiece? Stunning.

As she strutted across the black carpet in those dazzling Jimmy Choo
heels, all eyes were on her.

And we can see why!

Beauty entrepreneur and multiple-award winning actress, Ifu Ennada, has
been able to successfully turn her passion for natural hair care into a
thriving multi-million naira business, BeautIFU Ennada.

She was able to attain this feat within 9 months of officially
establishing the business, although; she had been working on the idea way
before her Big Brother Naija days.

She has learned so many lessons on her entrepreneurship journey, and now,
she has launched the ‘5 Million a Day’ initiative to share her knowledge
with fellow entrepreneurs so that they too can learn how to grow their
businesses into profitable entities.

Speaking on why this project is so important to her, Ifu says, “I
understand perfectly how challenging it can be to run a financially viable
business especially when you’re first starting out. However, I believe we
are all lucky to be operating in the digital age, where at the click of a
button, millions can learn about one’s brand and patronize. I’d like to
share my knowledge about how I used digital media tools to my advantage to
create a successful business, so I can help current and aspiring business
owners.”

To learn more about 5 Million a Day, visit on Instagram: @5millionaday

Stay tuned to the Instagram page for more exciting updates coming soon!

Fake friends can be difficult to identify or differentiate from real friends. If you have someone that you feel is only friends with you for a particular reason that only benefits them, then you may have a fake friend.

Real friends support you, love you as you are, forgive you, and have your back. Fake friends tend to only cause drama for you and are not healthy for you to keep around. Plus, they are only around just because they need something all the time. Fake friends keep taking but never give.

You don’t need such toxic energy in your life!

Here are some tips to help you break up with your fake friend and to get yourself ready for ending your friendship with them:

Assess your friendships – Some friends may be fake while some friends may be having a really difficult time in that moment. If they are real friends; they might not always say the right thing, but are willing to listen to you if you are struggling, they support you, they stick around during the hard times, not just the fun times.

Determine if they are in fact, a fake friend – Try and determine if they are a fake friend. If they have entertained gossip about you behind your back, used you to get close to someone you are close to, only talk to you when they need something or embarrass you or make you feel humiliated in public, then you have to eliminate them from your life ASAP!

Don’t fight to break up with a friend – If you feel that your friend has changed, it may be a sign that your friendship is fading away. Even if you used to be close friends, people grow apart. Don’t fight that growth, just be glad for the good times you spent together.
Remove the benefit for the fake friend – Removing the benefit may go against your personality if you tend to be a “people-pleaser,” but your fake friend may be taking advantage of you. If they only call you when they want something, deny whatever their request is. Worse still, they might leave you alone after they know they can’t get what they want from you.
Keep contact minimal – As you are preparing to end your friendship, distance yourself from the fake friend as much as possible. Politely decline invitations to hang out by saying “I’m sorry, I can’t right now.” The purpose of this is to give you a little space free from the stress of fake friendship, while you figure out how to end the relationship with them. However, try to avoid outrightly ignoring them or giving them the “silent treatment.” This may be perceived as immature and could worsen things.

Break up with them face to face – If you have decided you would like to end your friendship, make sure to do it right and give it the attention it deserves. You may be dreading it, but try and rise above those emotions and face the situation with maturity. Avoid breaking up with them over the phone or over text or e-mail. It sends the wrong message about you as a person and how you deal with your friends. Additionally, it risks more misunderstandings in communication.

Set boundaries – Decide ahead of time what kind of contact you want from this person going forward, if there will be any. Make sure you are certain of your decision and ask them to respect it. Having your boundaries set beforehand will make it easier to stick to them later on. If you would prefer to never have contact with them again, then that is fine too. Let them know that you would prefer they do not contact you going forward.
Stick to the boundaries you set – You may notice a small backlash from the break up with your friend. Your ex-friend may try and get back on your good side or get back in touch with you. If they do, remind them of the boundaries you set and ask that they respect them. They may be dealing with a lot of anger and may lash out at you in person, online, or within your group of mutual friends. Try not to respond to any of those behaviors at all. It may take some time, but they will accept it.
Deal with the emotions of losing a friend. Even though you were the one to end the friendship, realize that friendship still ended. You may be feeling a mix of emotions including relief, freedom, guilt, sadness, anger, or hopelessness. Let yourself grieve the end of the friendship and cope with whatever emotions or a mix of emotions come your way. You can spend some time writing all the things you are thinking and feeling about the break-up. I would personally recommend journaling about what you are going through, as that will help you process the emotions and constructively get them out.

Life doesn’t have to be dramatic and friendships don’t have to be hard. I hope these tips come in handy for you and that you find them useful. Also, If you have really good friends, please invest in them. Don’t be selfish and always be there for them, as much as you can.

Had an experience with a fake friend? share with us below. happy to read

http://queenmoremi.com/2019/03/dealing-with-fake-friends-here-is-how-you-can-re-define-your-friendships/

During an event, I witnessed a very interesting conversation that transpired amongst some Nigerian millenial women (probably in their early-to-mid twenties) regarding finding “Mr Right” and marriage.

One of the women present, a 24-year-old pretty Ibo girl who already has a thriving career (let’s call her “Ada”, expressed concerns about finding a good husband. Ada asked her peers present, what it would take to find a man who wouldn’t be intimidated by her success. She also stated that she always wondered when/how/where she would find a husband, as she’s an Ibo girl and “time isn’t on her side.” In addition, she mentioned that she was under pressure from some of her family members to get married.

Some of the other women present at the event advised her to disregard the pressure she was experiencing and just be patient about finding a hubby.

After hearing Ada express her concerns about marriage, I felt the need to address this issue on my blog.

Here is some advice on the issue from my own perspective. Again, I’m NOT a relationship or marriage expert. However, I believe that sharing my views about this issue may help someone out there who is worried about marriage.

My thoughts on finding the right husband are as follows:

Don’t look for him. He will find you

I believe that when you are truly ready to meet your God-ordained partner, he will find you when you least expect it. You don’t have to go hunting for a man. I really don’t believe that seeking love should be a stressful affair. Love yourself. Stay true to yourself. When you are ready in God’s eyes, lifetime bae will come.

Put God first

The mere fact that you love someone doesn’t necessarily mean you should marry them. Put God first. Pray about the person and ask God if he is truly the person you are meant to be with for a lifetime. From my experience, you will get the answer to this question in unique ways. God may blatanly give you an answer via dreams and visions. Or you may suddenly find yourself in a particular situation with your partner, and judging by the way you both react it, the answer will become clear. The answer may also come seemingly serendipitously while you are interacting with other people in your everyday life.

Don’t compare Your Man with Your Friend’s Man

You never know what’s going on behind closed doors in anyone’s relationship. So don’t go comparing your partner with anyone else’s. For instance, let’s say your partner is very materially wealthy. He pays all your bills, gives you a monthly allowance, and takes you on shopping trips around the world. But then you have a friend whose partner isn’t as wealthy as yours and perhaps they split all their bills 50-50, but it appears that what he lacks in finances, he makes up for with touching acts of love and heartfelt displays of affection – a quality you may feel like your own partner doesn’t have as much of. Then you start to feel envious because you want more of what you friend’s partner has. Don’t do that! Be content with what what you have. Longing for what someone else has ultimately leads to feelings of discontent, which may prevent you from missing out on the fact that your own partner may just be husband material.

If he encourages your success, he’s a keeper!

You don’t need a man who feels intimidated by your success. Rather, he should encourage you to be the best version of yourself in all areas of your life. Even if you are doing better than him financially or career-wise, he should be proud of you and keep encouraging you to excel even more.

If he’s showing signs of jealousy or a controlling nature due to the fact that you’re doing well, please run away fast and don’t look back. Do NOT think you can change him during marriage.

I once had a friend that experienced this same situation. Her fiancé had never liked the fact that she made more money than he did, and he was actually very vocal about his displeasure. However, due to pressure she had put on herself to get married at a certain age, she convinced herself that she could work on changing his mindset during the marriage. Sadly, this was not the case.

Under the guise of wanting to be her sole provider and be a good husband, when they got married, he convinced her to quit her six-figure salary job and be a housewife. And that’s when his true colors really began to show. He started to emotionally and physically abuse and manipulate her. Well, that marriage didn’t last up to a year, because she filed for a divorce after she realized that no amount of fasting and prayers would ever change him.

Don’t succumb to family pressure

Easier said than done in many cases, I know. But the truth of the matter is that often times, this pressure is exerted for selfish reasons. Many parents want to feel proud to tell their friends that their daughter is finally getting married. They want to organize an elaborate wedding to boost their own egos, sell aso-ebi, and just be all-round “extra.” Girl, remember that wedding only lasts for one or two days, and the marriage lasts for a lifetime! After parents, friends, and wedding guests have finished eating all the small chops, jollof rice, nkwobi, amala and gbegiri, they will go back to their own homes to their own families. You will subsequently be left alone with your husband. You may never even get any phone calls from many of your so-called “aunties” and “uncles” after the wedding to check on you to enquire about how you are coping in your new home. NOPE. Once they digest and shit out the small chops, you become a distant memory in their minds. So why get married to please them or anyone else?

I once heard about a woman who found out the day before the wedding that her husband-to-be (whom parents had “arranged” for her by the way) was cheating on her with an ex girlfriend. She told her mom she wanted to call off the wedding, but mommy was like “yo dude, we’ve paid for the hall, cake, food, people are attending from out of town, just manage for now and sort it out during the marriage.” LOL.

Anyways you get the point. DON’T MARRY TO PLEASE YOUR FAMILY. Do it on your own terms, how and when you want to do it. Who cares if you are over 30 and unmarried? Marriage is not a competition. Or an achievement. Don’t let family and society brainwash you.


continue reading on http://queenmoremi.com/2018/08/how-to-find-a-good-husband-part-2/

Entrepreneurship in Nigeria has been extremely glorified. It isn’t rare to find young people talking about how much they can’t wait to leave their 9-5 jobs for something more lucrative where they get to be their own boss. This isn’t a bad thing. However, it is important to know about both the pros and cons of entrepreneurship before taking the leap.

Below are some of the hard truths:

It’s not always going to rain on Sunday

This simply means that there will be days where the income just isn’t coming in as it should. This doesn’t make you a bad entrepreneur. In fact, the true test of entrepreneurship is being able to withstand days or months like these. To combat this, make sure you get your savings right and you have enough for the dry seasons.

Not everyone is built for entrepreneurship.


So entrepreneurship isn’t just something you enter into because the sight of your boss disgusts you and you would like to wake up whenever you deem fit. It isn’t equally something everyone is destined to retire to. See point number 1, if you have that level of stamina to persevere where the going gets tough because that is inevitable, then by all means venture into it because many things are uncertain and risky about entrepreneurship. However, one thing that is certain is the fact that it will get tough.

A major part of your income will be spent on electricity
Lots of times, people don’t factor in the costs that fuel for the generator incure. In a day, you could end up spending as much as N10,000; calculate that for a week, now do the costing for a month. Not pretty is it? Unfortunately, you are no longer an employee and costs such as these which were previously not a concern of yours have now become part and parcel of your priority list. It is essential to factor in these costs, as it will be a key factor in how many hands you hire, the budget you present to your clients etc.

A lot of meetings are a waste of time

This is especially true in Lagos. Many prospective clients feel the need to have countless meetings regarding issues that can be sorted out via a single phone call. Guys, we are in the digital age, and there are things called Skype, Whatsapp video calls, etc, through which you can have virtual meetings. As an entrepreneur, time is money. Half the time there’s traffic on the roads. Then if you don’t own a car yet, you have to use Uber/Taxify to get to said meetings. You should get into the habit of determining whether or not a meeting is needed, and if not, politely explain to your client that a virtual meeting would suffice.

People like to OWE money

Yes, OWE is in caps for emphasis! When you first start out as an entrepreneur, it can be quite an exciting feeling knowing that people are patronizing your business. I tell you, your customers can smell your rookie excitement from a mile away. And if you are not careful, there are some people who will try to take advantage of you when they sense that you are a new, hungry entrepreneur on the come up. You need to come up with a payment system that favors and protects you. For instance, some service providers insist on upfront payment before service is carried out. Explore your options and find out what would work best for you depending on your field.

You will work harder than you’ve ever worked
The success or failure of your business is all on you. No pressure.

Nothing could ever prepare you for the life of an entrepreneur. You sink or swim. There are no short cuts. Some make it and others don’t. It is however important that you think carefully about all the pros and cons before you dive in. It is also of high importance that you read and try to equip yourself with as much information in the field in which you are trying to get into. Be a sponge and soak it all in, as much as you can.

Are you looking to take the leap to become a full on entrepreneur? Please consider some of these points. Are you an existing entrepreneur with a few more hard truths of your own? Please share in the comments below.


http://queenmoremi.com/2018/06/what-no-one-tells-you-about-entrepreneurship-in-nigeria/

mawaki:
You just talked about the situation am passing through right now. So many debts on my head and am still struggling to pay a loan of 200k+ I collected last year.The truth is am in need of money that's the prayer I prayed this morning. I used to compete because ppl who were far behind me some years back have now gone far ahead of me.competition is just a waste of energy.

Yes competition is unhealthy, so long there is life, there is hope. Things will not be like this forever, it's only a phase.

carbony4red:


The exact situation I found myself right now and people like this will come saying sweet words while God is looking you like "Dis I asked u to do that" so how do you come out of this kinda situation, it's absolutely frustrating because at times I feel like committing suicide, I only consider my suffering mum, I don't even give a f**k about any other person(wife,kid,brother/sister).

Please don't listen to the negative voices. Be strong, tough times don't last, tough people do.

Prokaryote:
January seems not to be starting up well on my side,debtors not paying, business stagnated and jst lost my beautiful daughter during labour, many bills to pay. In all I believe I can do all things through Christ that strengthen me.

Sorry to hear this. God is in control, it will end in praise.

noble71:
Thanks beautiful lady. I think this is the best thread coming from a lady this 2019.

Thanks

Wow can you believe it? 2019 is moving along so fast, and life is moving equally as fast. You turn on your phone and wow! Wedding pictures of your friends and relatives on social media flood your timeline. Some are celebrating their second child’s birthday, while others are getting engaged. Perhaps someone just landed a new job or bought a car and you look at your life, and you’re like “mennn…same old story.”

You’re wondering why your life doesn’t measure up to people’s lives on the ‘gram.

Perhaps the job interviews all seem futile, your home environment you is so frustrating, and your housemates are getting on your nerves. Maybe your rent is almost due and money seems look like a stranger these days. Do you feel alone, and feel like nothing is going well for you?

Yes, everyone is saying “this is my Year, I’m moving into another level but is this year really my year? Nothing seems to be working,” you’re thinking to yourself.

Well, I’ve got good news for you. Hang in there! The fact that the year is starting on a rough note doesn’t mean that things will remain the same way. You only need to be strong and understand that life is not a competition. You are moving at your own pace, no matter how slow. Eventually you will get to your destination. Everything will be fine.

Here are a few ways to help you stay strong doing these trying times. This worked for me, and I hope it works for you too:

Remember if you are still breathing, it isn’t over yet. Appreciate your life no matter what your situation may be right now.
Celebrate with others when they are happy about their milestones. This is not the time to get envious and bad-mouth them. Your time will come too.
Understand that there are seasons in life. This trying season too will pass.
Surround yourself with happy, grateful and positive girlfriends. Remember, you are the company you keep! Please make sure you are in the right circle.
Be yourself. No one is you and that’s your superpower. Hold on to your moral values. Don’t go changing who you are because you are in a rush to attain some societal ideal.
Work hard and Pray harder
Hey, you’re gonna be just fine!

http://queenmoremi.com/2019/01/having-a-rough-2019-so-far-read-this/

Ci Ci and I both attended The University of Georgia,in the United States. I met her at an undergraduate sociology class. Back then, I noticed that she always had an aura of quiet resilience about her. She may not have spoken much, but when she did, she spoke assertively-yet-calmly.

I recently reconnected with her randomly thanks to Uncle Mark (Zuckerberg)with Intagram’s friend suggestions feature. I remembered her from college and so I followed her and of course, proceeded to look at all her Instagram posts.

It was while reviewing her posts that I discovered that she was HIV Positive. I was quite moved by the fact that she was sharing her story with the world with no inhibitions. I was pleased to see that her assertive and resilient spirit remained unbroken, despite her predicament. And so I reached out to her to ask if she would share her story with us, and she graciously obliged.

I hope that by sharing her story, we can raise more awareness about HIV and help to mitigate the stigma against people living with the virus. I also hope that African millennial women can become more enlightened by hearing this firsthand from a fellow millennial woman of colour.

Tell us about yourself

My name is Ciarra. ButCi Ci is who I am. I am 30 years old, and I’m from Philadelphia, Pennsylvania. I have been HIV-positive since I was 20 years old.

What were your childhood, teenage years, and 20s like?

My childhood was very sad and chaotic. My parents were not in a good place when I was born and this cultivated an extremely dysfunctional environment. My teenage years were depressing. I didn’t want to be here anymore. This is when my suicide attempts happened because I was just that sad. In my 20s I learned a lot about myself and my expectations of others. My faith in God grew and I began to trust Him. Life has been so much better since.

Growing up, what were your aspirations in life?

Growing up, I wanted to be a dancer. I grew up during the time of music videos. I would study all of the dances they did in the videos until I knew them by heart. I wanted to get married to my prince in shining armor and have children. I wanted to live a normal life.

Have those aspirations changed now in your adult life? If yes, in what ways?

Yes a little. Well the dancer thing went out the window. For one, I can’t dance. So now, I just dance in the house for fun. I get the same kick out of it. About the marriage thing. I’ve been married before, in my early 20s and that didn’t work out. BUT I had the child that I wanted, so it’s a win. Being married and divorced so young matured me very quickly. I see marriage differently now and I am certainly taking my time with the next one. And normal? I realized that there is no such thing. So now, I just merely aspire to be the best CiCi.

What prompted you to get tested for HIV?

I was going to the clinic for a regular check up so that I could get birth control. That was always my concern – not getting pregnant. It was never not catching HIV because it wasn’t real to me at the time. They offered the HIV test and I was like, “Sure!” This one always comes back negative. So why not?

How did you contract HIV?

From a guy that I was sleeping with while in college. I had a time where I had multiple partners, so it’s always hard to just pin it on one person. I have a pretty good idea though.

What was your initial reaction when you first found out you had the virus?

I cried.

How did you cope with the news?

Actually, me and my mom cried for three days. On the fourth day, it was like why am I crying? Obviously I had this virus a few weeks ago and I was able to smile then. So what makes it different now? Because I know? I turned my perception around and began to educate myself about it so that I could learn how to manage it moving forward. I’ve been living since.

What was your family and loved ones’ reactions?

The men in my family were ready to go find the dude who gave it to me. That would have never ended well. So I never told them who. My grandmother was in denial at first. She wanted me to keep getting tested. The relationship between my father and I was a little estranged at that time. And I hear he didn’t take the news well. But there was always support and never a moment that they didn’t love on me. We often forget that I’m living with it.

Before your diagnosis, what was your perception of people who had HIV? In what ways has that perception changed now?

My perception of someone living with HIV was that they would look a certain type way. I know it sounds crazy, but I literally thought that I would be able to tell when a penis didn’t look right. People with HIV would somehow stick out. Think of the most ignorant thought in the regard to the virus and I probably had it. O, am I humbled now! It’s crazy because now since I’m actually living with it and experiencing it, I know I have the responsibility to adjust those perceptions people have. If I thought that way, someone else probably does too.

What are some major obstacles you have faced as an individual living with HIV? How are you overcoming these challenges?

HIV is more of a psychological thing for me. On some days, I find that I’m beating myself up for something that happened over ten years ago. So I have to check myself often to make sure my thoughts are not wandering off into negative self talk. I oversaturate my mind with positive thoughts and love.

From your perspective, what are some major misconceptions about HIV?

I think that people feel that they are invincible. Like HIV can’t touch them. When I hear this, I often like to point out that HIV can be transmitted the same way that others STDs are – and many of us have had an experience (or two) with those. Another major misconception is that if you sleep with someone who has the virus then you are going to get it. That’s not necessarily true. I mean, you have to be more careful, such as getting tested regularly and ensure the person with it is properly taking their medicine. I have been undetectable for years, making it like nearly impossible for me to pass it.

You have a son that is HIV negative. Tell us more about that

Yes. My Zionis the product of my early marriage. I love him so much! I worked closely with the doctors while I was pregnant to ensure that I would be undetectable at the onset of labor. They were wonderful. His father is negative, so I was the only threat to him. But, my medicine regimen worked and I was able to give birth to him through my vagina. He did not contract the virus from me and that makes me so happy. He proved to me that I can’t be dangerous to nobody else.

You are currently in a loving relationship. Tell us more about that

I just love him. He is so, so supportive of me in everything that I do. We are like this team and it’s feels good to experience that. He has never treated me any type of way because of the virus. He’s HIV negative and has taken the time to become educated about the virus. Again, I love that man!

What’s your advice for millennial women of African descent who are currently living with the virus?

Do not give up. Follow some people on social media who are living with the virus so that you may be inspired. Life goes on and this is not a death sentence. Yes, it may change how you move but that doesn’t mean you stop. You are not alone sis, there are soooo many of us out here.

If you could turn back time, what would you do differently?

I would have loved myself earlier. It was because of this lack of self love that I was just out there doing stuff. Dumb stuff.

What advice would you give young women today about protecting themselves from the virus?

Make wise decisions, ladies. We don’t often think in moments of passion, the effects that they could have on our life. When you have sex, especially unprotected sex with someone, you are trusting them with your entire life. Looking back on the guys I entertained, I wouldn’t trust them with my dog now, you hear me? Use condoms at all times. Treat everyone as if they have HIV and aren’t taking their medicine. You know, if you are in a monogamous relationship, the rules change up a little bit. But remember again, your life is in their hands. And do you trust them like that?

http://queenmoremi.com/2019/01/overcoming-hiv-a-millennial-womans-story/