Chiomzee:
am CHIOMA from delta state but base in lagos...age 22 born september 8 1997,if he want me to locate or stay here in nigeria is his decision u can call or add me on whatsapp

Please send an email to classicbachelor@yahoo.com he doesn't use nairaland. Before impostors will call you.

Hi Nairaland, I'm helping a friend post this.

I predicted these games and even posted it on nairaland last month.

Are you sure this is Mystic Pig? I think say dem don use am do suya already?

Tommy34:
I'm a 22 years old boy who's been constantly torn apart from within, I have always been seen as the black sheep in the family, I mean everything I do comes back to haunt me. I finished secondary school 2013, took Jamb but didn't get through, then 2015 came and got a pre-degree form for Adekunle ajasin University located in Ondo. I scaled through the exams, got admitted but I need was to pass Jamb for the same year. I didn't make the cut off.
  I was so ashamed of myself but I believed I still had time, so I came up with a lie, what I was going to do was pretend I actually got admitted to the school, then with the money given to me, I would get another Jamb, pass it and be a student...
  Unluckily for me, I got found out by my cousin in school who told my family, now they are requesting for my matric number and password, which I don't have. I'm[b] too deep[/b] in the lie to say the truth because I know I'm most likely going to be disowned (my dad has made that clear). Now I'm thinking about cutting ties, staying in school and try to come up with some money so I can really be in school and study.. only then can I tell them what happened.. I don't know, I'm pretty confused and would be grateful to any advice, I'm lost but I'm hoping to find my way..

No one can really give you the best advice here because you have not given the entire scenario.

From your choice of words (bolded) used in explaining your situation I can tell you feel very depressed.

The first step is to work on your mind, then you will actually be able to see things better.

Answer the following.

What is your relationship with your parents like? What do you plan to do with your life?
Why do you keep failing to make JAMB?
Are there any distractions that keep you from making it? Do you need help with these?
Are you passionate about University study?
Are you trying to get into a course you have passion for? Are you capable of meeting the requirements for this course?
Do you foresee the quality of your life improving after studying?

Now I know someone, let's call him Deji, he wanted to play football, he got recruited by a club after a well known scout saw him play at a local game trials, He told his parents but they wouldn't want to hear it. They have never seen him play and didn't believe in his dreams. He took off one day to play for the club and when he made money, he returned, the father was the first person to come out and shout he is my son. Now while Deji may have succeeded, not everyone can succeed like him. The prodigal son did not become wretched for leaving home, he became wretched because he failed to do the right things with the money he got, he demanded for his birth right when he wasn't prepared for the world outside and believed he could simulate it all on his own.

It makes no sense to desire staying in school and doing nothing. You aren't fooling your parents, they have lived their life, if you make wrong decisions, you would be the one to live with the consequences of those decisions for life. If the school environment doesn't help you pass JAMB, then what use is staying in school? So your decision should be based on what you are certain of. Are there any JAMB materials you can read while in school? Won't you be distracted by people coming home from lectures and asking you what level you are in? etc. Keeping up appearances a.k.a fake it till you make it, doesn't work when the false situations you present keep you at a disadvantage from making it.




. ====================================================================================================== .


Lastly, do you know that if you had been honest with your parents, they could have done something about the situation to help you earlier? Your parents have more resources and experience than you do in life, the problem is your relationship with them isn't good enough and so you hide too many things from them. The more you delay telling them the truth, the more angry they feel that you have not given them a chance to help out the right way.

Another example for you, After his secondary school education, Sam tried and failed jamb 3 times in a stretch, The mother had always tried to convince the father to send him to a private university or to a nearby country as she believes the man could afford it, but the father refused because Sam was wayward, He feared Sam would waste his money in private university by failing there or become a drug addict if he was to go abroad where he would have no one to check on him. Sam failed the 4th time, and at this time, his cousins who were same age as Sam already started to send them invitations for graduation. It was at this point that the father sent him to a private university. But before Sam left for school, the father consulted the services of a Life Coach to mentor him, and that changed Sam's perspective on life. You see, Sam did not choose to be wayward, he was influenced by the bad company he kept, infact they had their own gossip meetings where they would meet and find excuses for their failure, they would condemn JAMB and say horrible things about those who got into tertiary institutions. Many of these same friends in the group abandoned him when they eventually got into school and it soon dawned on Sam that they only previously criticised others because they wanted but couldn't be like them. Infact he was tired of the shame everytime his old school mates returned to town from their respective universities and did not hang out with him or invite him to their parties, when he finally found himself, he excelled in his studies at the private university and achieved a lot more than people before him.

Your parents always know when you are sincere or scheming, but they aren't superhuman. If you are unrepentantly wayward, it can make them lose hope or not want to waste further resources on you. Not every parent is bold enough to admit their child needs professional counseling/help. When a child is acting wierd, many parents would abandon the child and blame it on the child's ill-will to grow himself/herself. They would compare him with his mates and siblings, failing to see that each person has a different call or approach to life. You have acted out of desperation to free yourself and show them you can make it without them, however you have failed to acknowledge they are humans too, parents have a good grasp of your overall character but do not always know everything their children are capable of and would usually expect the worse when you appear defiant to reason. But in the end they want the best for you even if they don't have all the solutions. However, you need to start showing effort in helping them make the best decisions that would affect you. The good news is you are now 22, an adult, they can't use the cane on you now, it's time to start a different relationship/bond with your family. They are not magicians to know what help you need, Tell them your concerns and aspirations, you would be surprised at how supportive they would be. They want to see you are really interested in being better, when you are confused ask your parents for advice, they would see the efforts you are making at becoming responsible and be more likely to stand by you and see the real situation to be tackled, rather than making you the subject of the situation to be tackled.

I gotta admit, I don't know who the Neche dude is, but damn that girl got some nerve showing up 8 years after. He even called her Aunty, that killed me.

Ok

UnknownQueen:


I didn't even say anything that night....

It was my body language that passed off as being rude....At first I turned but was sitting, then he asked from the altar who was sitting, and enquired If I was pregnant, when people started murmuring besides me saying all sorts,I reluctantly stood and covered myself with the wrapper I was holding because all eyes were on me already, he even made mention of me covering myself up and then said I shouldn't be in the choir, eventually prayers started and immediately I bent my head on the chair's arm rest, after some seconds, my pastor came and started hitting me on my back..., just immediately after he changed the prayer points I sat down and started weeping inwards.....

The rest I call history....


Just like u've admonished, I do not find it difficult apologizing, but I still can't imagine standing in front of the whole church and saying sorry, gush I might just drop dead, even when the church does it on my behalf u know what effect that scenario will have on me mentally, that's why I suggested taking a bow out of the church and group...but then my husband....(I'm still in a dilemma I swear).


Because whether I'm asked to apologize or not.....My total being has far travelled away from the church....I need so much peace and tranquility.....

Did you explain these to the elderly person sent to you to communicate their verdict?

Before you give your apology you have to go see the vicar general or whoever the head pastor of the church is and explain these things to him. You were pregnant for crying out loud, how are you supposed to be jumping up and down at the request of a guest pastor just because you attended a vigil? At the end he may ask you to apologise, but trust me, if he is on your side and still thinks you should go ahead with it, it would be a lot easier, because he would explain to the congregation before you step up.

You just have to pick the words of the apology carefully. Be brief, or they might shout over you and disgrace you further.

Give what I call an official apology,
1. Explain the situation
2. Apologise
3. Repair your image.

Simply let them know you couldn't participate fully in the activities that night because you are an expectant mother and that you felt like you were singled out despite your condition, however you understand the guest pastor and the entire congregation that were present that night may not have known this and your reaction that night may have been exacerbated due to hormonal influences common with people in your condition. Therefore your apologies go to everyone who may have been distracted by the unfortunate event. Then go further to say, you try as much to be a respectful person in the society, a good wife, a loving mother and most importantly a Child of God but the situations you encountered that night in your condition didn't present you in the best light to the public and for that reason you ask that they find it in their hearts to seek true reconciliation in accordance with God's will.
Do not apologise if they give you the words they expect you to say on that day. Especially if they try to make you sound like the devil and admit to things you didnt do.

UnknownQueen:


Exactly........But he has warned me about always acting and speaking out my mind just as exactly how I feel.....

There is one way to see it, The conditions the church members gave you are not because of your beliefs, it is because of the way you reacted to their own beliefs. So your husband had a point about the reaction aspect, you didn't have to obey but at the same time you didn't have to make him(visiting pastor) look stupid in public, at the end of the day the sheep that follow him would never see anything wrong in his behavior even when he is clearly wrong.

I am not exactly sure what it is you did or how you behaved, but you hinted to the fact you were openly disrespectful to the man, perhaps through something you said or the gestures you made to show your discontent. Let me give you a short example. If some people were to come to your house for husband's birthday ceremony, and your husband asked you to give a toast and you started talking but when you raised the glass, you asked everyone to stand up but someone refused to stand up on account of the fact they don't believe in giving toasts at birthdays, it's okay, they may be right, but if they go further to react in a way that makes your other guests feel uncomfortable and bring you embarrasment, you would feel a certain way. The person could have excused themselves when it was time for the toast so as not to disrespect their hosts (you and husband). Do you get it now? So if you are in that person's shoes you don't have to apologise for not believing in the toast, but the reaction which brought resentment could require one for peace sake.


The good thing is you were asked to tender an apology, but you weren't given a script to read out when you make it. So you can say only what you are sorry for, and in my opinion that is to apologize for the rude way you expressed yourself that evening. You don't have to apologise for not believing in fire for fire prayer. If you are suspended, you have done what you must in front of God and that's what matters.

And about speaking your mind, there are many ways to express yourself. Life has thought me to be very constructive with the truth. So, instead of snatching the microphone from a pastor immediately he says the wrong thing on the pulpit, I would rather seek a private audience with him to discuss what I felt about his sermon. If he disagrees with me, I would leave the congregation quietly and pray for the other followers that are being misled. No one is going to call you to apologise to the church for discussing a problem you spotted with the pastor.

So my dear don't feel bad about apologising. Just remember you are not apologising for not standing up, you are apologising for anything you might have said in response that hurt their feelings. Tell them that although God knows your heart, you realize there are better ways you could have handled the situation. End of discussion.

Do you deserve an apology from the man that made mockery of you? of course you do, but let God be the judge. Do and say what is fair between you and God.

Meanwhile, your husband should start looking for another church if he too doesnt believe in fire for fire prayer. One day they would bring another visiting pastor that would ask him to pray his mother and entire relatives dead and when he refuses they would ask him to apologise.

Your husband said the reality about the situation in your post (bolded).

UnknownQueen:



Yesterday, My husband and I discussed at length what went down between The preacher and I.....Just like I presumed he insisted that I was rebellious which was actually true but I gave him reasons why I actually acted all that out but then he stated emphatically that my reasons were only good enough for me alone, that at that moment the man was an authority and I shouldnt have resisted anything he demands of me, Also stating that I should have used wisdom in dealing with the issue but I was outright rebellious and which also passes off as been rude, he admitted that he also doesn't believe in all that repetitive , fire fire prayers but that I was in the midst of a large congregation with almost same belief when it comes to prayer and faith, And that I should have known there will be consequences for my actions if I become disobedient...
He stated further that my reasons are not good enough for anyone to hear as they'll always support the man if not for him being a man of God also for him being older than I..
Finally he said I need people to co exists with that I can't say I will not have anything to do with the church again, he says who then will be the shoulder I'll cry and Leann when trouble looms?..

I 'm just in a fix..

But regardless, I'm not apologizing to the man nor the church , anyone can do that on my behalf......('ll rather loose my marriage than do that, I've promised myself that.)

Your husband said the whole truth. Your reaction would definitely spark outrage among the followership and there are better ways you could have handled the situation. However, this his response isn't complete, this is not the whole response I expected from Him as I mentioned in my (bolded) earlier statement below.

RandyX:

I agree two wrongs never make it right. I have mentioned before that she should not quarrel with them. However she should go see the head pastor to address the underlying problem. He may see the real issue and be in a better position to address them for her and for his congregation. If he is not known to be the very understanding type and doesn't exercise discretion in handling sensitive issues brought to him in confidence, then she should meet her husband, who can then take up productive measures to help grow her faith and that of his family like I mentioned earlier.

He is supposed to be more interested in your faith than in keeping up appearances. He has to make moves to ensure your spiritual lives improve. Your husband is more afraid of the people in the church than in truly acting out his faith and pleasing God. The church is like a social buffer for him and his whole life depends on this cult like community following they have ringed him into. I also mentioned in an earlier post what these kind of churches are known for (below)

Most of these new one man churches are dangerous to your faith, and this is because they are mostly formed for economic gain and to increase followership, not entirely to grow you spiritually. When members attend your church because all their friends are there, their livelihood depends on their connections with the churchgoers, and leaving would cause a socially awkward situation for them, it is no longer a church but a cult.

Your husband is as helpless about the situation as you are. They got him the job he has and they feel like they own him and his family. If he knows what's best for him, he had better find a better church where people serve God for Him and not because they need the social structure to survive.

Emperormartin:

You can compose an anthem �

It's actually part of our old anthem

Nice one

Nigeria sha. How is wings of African pride meant to inspire them when most of them want to play in european clubs? They should have "Though tribes and Tongues may differ, in brotherhood we stand".

majorbravo:

Somebody please inteprete! My Swahili is a bit rusty.

Let me try, [Blecool post
Mkpo ase aba o (Transmission from Asaba).
Efet mkpo asoho do iban (Effect of Transmission assaulted Ibadan)
Nsuto mkpo (Insult to Transmission)
Iban ene enie udok o (Ibadan in my mind)

I'm looking for Type B o! Anybody?

Simply don't keep up

This story looks fake.


But if it happened for real, you can be sure that lady might be in the military but dressed casually. The guy did the right thing to walk away. Any woman wen gather mind for that place do wetin she do no be normal person at all. God just saved that guy if he had retaliated, only God knows what would have happened.

JONNYSPUTE:
.....If this is the case,then let her be honest enough and open up to her husband. Give him reasons on why she is not comfortable with their style of worship. They can tackle the problems together. She is bottling up a lot of things in her heart against the church and tell me who its affecting negatively, she off course. She should discuss her grievances towards the church with him,pls.

I just updated my comment before seeing your reply. I think we are on the same page.

JONNYSPUTE:
....Good point. Although you misunderstood my question. I was referring to her being a member of a cult not you and I doubt she will ve the effrontery to sit in the middle of their incantations due to tiredness. As for the husband playing a role to make her understand and feel comfortable in their church,you are right. All the same,two wrongs can't make a right,let her just humble herself and say sorry,she won't die,it won't even make her not to be herself any more. Just for peace to reign, that's all.If she keeps rebelling,things might get worse. A simple sorry would stop all these. Just my opinion though.

She can apologise today but then the church hasn't succeeded in gaining or improving her faith. This is why punishment is not a good option. Okay she apologised what next?
She doesn't feel comfortable in that church and rather than they try to understand the cause, they have exacerbated the issue by victimising/humiliating her. Apologising won't make her sing loudest next Sunday. The underlying root cause of her rebellion has to be tackled and the church isn't doing anything to address it.
I agree two wrongs never make it right. I have mentioned before that she should not quarrel with them. However she should go see the head pastor to address the underlying problem. He may see the real issue and be in a better position to address them for her and for his congregation. If he is not known to be the very understanding type and doesn't exercise discretion in handling sensitive issues brought to him in confidence, then she should meet her husband, who can then take up productive measures to help grow her faith and that of his family like I mentioned earlier.

Ps: I understood your statement about the cult, I was saying it in terms of being in her shoes.

JONNYSPUTE:

More importantly now, I think there are 3 things to address.

Marriage
Belief
Church Culture

There is just one thing on this lady's mind and that is to keep her marriage.
She has said she does believe in God, but is not very certain the church culture does it justice.

The real issue here is the fact that she married a man whose religious affiliations are clearly in conflict with hers. I would not find myself in a secret cult in the first place because I know I won't stand there or listen to their incantations neither would I intentionally marry one who is in a secret cult and that would have me attend their conventions passively.

I understand the deed has been done. She has married him and she is trying to make her marriage work. Kudos to her for that. However, I think the husband has a lot of work to do to convince his wife to see the good in the church, or he has to start making moves to see that his wife gets comfortable in coming to church for God and not because of his affiliations with a vip attendant who got him a job. The husband shows signs of religious dedication to this church branch and its establishment but has demonstrated little understanding of his spiritual dedication to the God in the church. Ask yourself, if they relocate to another country or region would he still be dedicated?

The church culture on the other hand needs to change to reflect the kind of society Christ wants for his children.

As head of his home he should not relegate his duties to his pastor. He has a responsibility to lead her to God.
He should sit down listen to his wife and understand her concerns, he can then advice her on ways to live out her true faith within the church, if he honestly before God can attest that the church hasn't derailed from true worship.
If he finds that truly the church has derailed, He should be actively seeking ways to engage the church in finding creative ways to keep followership and build true faith, so his wife can find true fulfilment for her faith. Or he could find a church where he can perform his spiritual obligations to his family.

JONNYSPUTE:
. Nobody is humiliating her. Let her simply apologise for her childish and rebellious act. I doubt if she will behave the same way to a babalawo. People do any how in the house of God but scared to do it in a deity. If she was in the mosque,won't she have obeyed the imam. Let's stop covering the truth abeg. Simple apology she is here claiming right.

They are not asking for an apology here. They say they want to punish her. It is humiliation that they think they can hit their fellow worshipper or that they have become God to judge and punish her.

If they were to write a report what would they state is their reason for punishing her? That she stood up and sat back down when she was feeling tired in the middle of a prayer?

If she is to tender an apology, what would she say? That she is sorry she refused to stay standing when she was weak because an invited guest pastor decided It was best for her to stand and shake violently to make her weakness disappear, even when she has to be gentle carrying her unborn baby?

Even if she has to tender an apology, what would the apology gain if she doesn't understand the wrong commited or doesnt feel the need to? A demanded apology is nothing but coercion, in order to massage their bloated ego. Is she apologising to them or to God? Instead of them to sit down with her and address her concern to uplift her faith, they are looking for who to punish.

Her church pastor was right, she shouldn't have attended the event if she was not comfortable with the guest preacher's methods. But I do not like the way they have chosen to handle it. They should respect human beings and desire to build true faith not humiliate people in public because they do not agree with her.

This is a Pharisee characteristic, a Nigerian law enforcement behaviour, they are more interested in who entered the wrong lane than clearing the traffic or repairing the bad road on the right lane. They are more interested in fighting imaginary enemies than glorifying God and seeking his grace. They are more interested in condemning sinners than preaching to them about God. More interested in stoning the adulterous woman than giving her hope of repentance like Jesus did.

lefulefu:
if she goes to see the pastor privately and tell him she doesn't adhere to their style of praying don't be surprised if he uses her as a subject of discussion in his next Sunday preaching.

She doesn't adhere to the guest preacher's (C.A.C. pastor) style of praying not the church pastors style. However, I am not happy they actually went physical on her. The Op said she is still trying to understand Christianity. They should spend more time enlightening her about God than resorting to abuse and punishment.

If the church pastor turns her statements into a sermon, he had better make it a constructive sermon meant to unite and not a way to ridicule her. This sort of behaviour among the pastor and members of her choir has nothing to do with the church of God but with a very bad Nigerian mentality.

They feel when they help you achieve something they own your life, if her husband was dangote, would they have the guts to hit her like that? But a faithful member of their church, look how they treat his wife, simply because they can claim they made her husband what he is today.

Holymann:
RandyX, did you read the post at all Cos your story isn't even similar to the situation at hand.
Even in the catholic church, there are times when the priest will ask the members to stand up right?? if any member doesn't stand and the priest asks him/her why they aren't standing, aren't the suppose to tell him?? i'm sure the are. In her case, she kept mute when asked if she was pregnant or not well(because she felt he was praying the wrong way by standing up) and even when her own pastor came to ask her to stand up, she snubbed him. THIS IS A CLEAR CASE OF PRIDE
Moreover, she was proud to say she rebelled and refuse to stand (this is someone who only attended the church to please her husband)
It's high time we stopped taking God for granted by bringing in behaviours that aren't acceptable outside (workplace or government event) into the church.
If she had done as little as telling the preacher, her pastor or any other person that she wasn't well, no one would have been angry with her.

Brother I will let you know, Even in the Catholic Church when people stand they don't force anyone to stand, the priest doesn't go hitting or flogging you on the back. There are church wardens to handle the situation in a way that it doesnt bring about embarrassment in the house of God. During ceremonies where people are required to stand for extended periods of time, the officiating priest usually says those that are ill, weak or old can remain sitted. They don't judge you and make a spectacle of you from the pulpit.

I understand there are traditions in different churches where people may be required to stand. But in this case, the pastor was just in the heat of the moment and wanted everyone to start shaking and stamping their feet on the ground. For someone that is weak, that is an almost impossible task to do. He should have silently asked the aides to get her to leave if he didn't find her in good enough state to participate without making a spectacle of her in public. He should have reprimanded her in private or tried to understand what problems she had with her faith not judging and making mockery of a soul you should be trying to bring closer to God in front of the entire congregation. Even if her faith is still at the initial stages, How is she supposed to feel comfortable to come to church next time to grow that faith? When everyone there are wearing judge wigs with a hammer ready to pass sentence on her every move?

His manner of approach was already set to place her in a defensive mood in the first place. How can he say, look at this one is she pregnant or what? Is that how to address someone who came to pray? He was already biased and judged her as not suitable for ministry before getting her own part of the story. Trust me I know how mushroom pastors behave, it won't be the first time.

There is a reason random people do not just wake up in the morning and turn leader of a flock without having served first. It takes a lot of spiritual maturity to lead people of God, or you risk putting the spiritual lives of your flock in danger.

RealAdewole:


even when you have arthritis or pregnant?

and hope you know that the woman in question is pregnant
a church setting should be built and centred around love

That is the problem you find when someone unqualified to even arrange chairs at family prayer meetings wakes up one day and brands himself pastor without ordination. You can never find me in any church where the pastor feels he can not be corrected and that he is chosen but others can't be and never will, even when it's clear he was not called or ordained.

Now know this, any church or gathering where the minister thinks he has grown too big to listen to his followers, any church or gathering where the people perpetually remain sheep and are not in anyway encouraged to grow beyond sheep to become one who can inspire others, is not of God. Even Jesus allowed His disciples to preach when he was sure they were ready. A gathering that does not prepare you spiritually to enlighten others is not a church.

When members do not attend church on sundays because of God and the Word of God but because of fear of being flogged by the pastor, you have lost the faith of your followership, people should be led to come to church because they understand the love God has for them and they want to truly worship God not because Pastor David will embarass you in front of the congregation or Sister Bola will gossip about it to your co-workers.

I never stopped attending my denomination (Catholic), and that is the only place I have never been judged but encouraged. Most of these new one man churches are dangerous to your faith, and this is because they are mostly formed for economic gain and to increase followership, not entirely to grow you spiritually. When members attend your church because all their friends are there, their livelihood depends on their connections with the churchgoers, and leaving would cause a socially awkward situation for them, it is no longer a church but a cult.

A hospital is a place where the sick go to get healthy, and the healthy go to help the sick,
A church should be a place where........ complete it yourself.

When churches now fill their sits using punishment, embarrasment, bullying and victimization techniques instead of showing them the truth of God's love, we have a real problem.

May God help us serve Him in spirit and in truth.

Try EWTN (google it, they are also on dstv channel 348) so you understand what it is like. However, if you can join any real Catholic Church, you should feel very much at home, they pray with reverence to God (just ignore the charismatic renewal people).

UnknownQueen:


Hi bro.....To think the church i attend is an Anglican Church, but the said preacher on that day was an invited guest (C.A.C pastor), And u know how radical those guys are....forcing there manner and style of prayer down ur throat.....I have never been a fan of that , but unfortunately I was caught in the web, I wanted to give the Pastor the piece of my mind right at the moment but I kept my cool just because of my family.....I really wished I could see the Pastor..I'll remind him of all that WENT down btw us.

If only you or your husband knew the origin of the Church of England (aka Anglican). The Nigerian branch has broken off cos their head church in England has accepted Gays. The founder of the Anglican Church, King Henry VIII, broke out from Catholic because they didn't allow him divorce his wife who couldn't bear him a son, to marry another. He eventually married 5 more wives, bringing the total to 6 wives and beheaded two including the one he married after divorcing the first. I am not against any church as long as you believe in God, but some things about your history should be clear so you understand why some issues are existing in the first place.

As for inviting mushroom ministers, that's how they invited one black American pastor from another denomination to the Royal wedding that almost turned the celebration upside down talking about Martin Luther King and Black Slavery at a wedding for that matter.

I only know one church and that is the Catholic Church. Never will any mushroom unordained minister be allowed to speak from the pulpit. If such a behaviour from the church members come up, you can always join another parish and you don't miss any thing. As for your disposition towards Christianity in general, I think it's important you speak to your husband about your concerns. If he is a loving and caring husband, God says love your wife like Christ loves the Church. He would talk to you and encourage you to become a better christian instead of joining them to judge you.

Tomorrow if you are called upon by the choir and you are told they don't want you to be a chorister anymore, do not argue with them. Go quietly to see the head pastor of the church, and have a meeting with him. Tell him the truth about what happened that day and that you prefer to pray in a quiet manner in reverence to God and that style of shaking head and turning like a possessed lion isn't respectful in your opinion. Allow him share his views, then encourage him that not everyone is an extrovert and that God created extroverts and introverts and you believe God accepts both. Tell him this style the guest minister brought didn't appeal to your faith and conscience and that's why you didn't follow.

UnknownQueen:
Hi everyone, Goodafternoon .......
I hope someone gives me a listening ear here...
I'm a lady of diverse views and beliefs about religion, let's just say I'm a Christian because I'm married to a Christian, I have a child and I'm expectant of the next...I follow my hubby to church just to make him happy...I'm a member of the choir because I've got a great voice and I love to sing.....
Something happened recently to me....
I went for a vigil and the preacher (invited guest), started prayers, even as a regular Christian, I ain't a fan of shaking body and head vigorously when praying, so the preacher insisted EVERYONE stands, but I rebelled and refused to do as he says, and because he noticed that I was a member of the choir, he said right from the altar that I ain't supposed to be a minister, immediately my heart sank, the following day, The issues generated lots of controversies in the church, and the group has decided to punish me, I don't know what the punishment will be, but I guess it will either be an indefinite suspension or I'm being asked to apologize to the whole church....
Normally, if I weren't married, I would leave the church with immediate effect, as I do not think I should be forced to pray in a way and manner I do not believe in...
But I'm married, my husband would not have himself and the kid go to another church, while I stay at home...Or have us go to separate churches...
I'm also thinking of what effect this would have on my kid and my home (marriage) in general

First and foremost, why did the pastor ask everyone to stand up?

Did he ask a question that required a stand or sit response? For example: Can those who believe in Jesus please stand? And you remained sitted?

Second, Was it a tradition of the church to stand up for certain prayers? Is this documented in their doctrine?

Or Was he just asking people to just get up so they can start stamping their feet on the ground and shouting because of something he had said in the heat of the moment?

If it's for the third reason, please kindly leave that church. The pastor must be a megalomaniac. Churches where gossip and judging amongst its members is encouraged by the pastor as a result of a personal issue not one divinely mandated, should be avoided at all costs.
Example: A church where the pastor whips it's members for not singing in a high enough voice or where the members victimize another who came to report a spiritual issue they are having, or where a sinner confesses to the church seeking forgiveness and the pastor reveals his/her sin to the congregation to ridicule/punish that person

Indeed for all of the above reasons he has no right to punish you as God himself sees our hearts and knows who really wants to serve Him. God himself would do the punishing if he sees fit.

What he should have done was to caution you in private. If he is a true shepherd, he risks losing your soul by such behaviour, what sort of shepherd places his pride before the well being of his sheep?

Modified: I just read your post again and i see it's the third reason. My dear, I know how you feel, we all serve God in our best ways and you do not belong there. Please find an old generation church like Catholic to attend, where worship is done in reverence and orderly manner not going radical, leave these people who think going crazy in the presence of God is a godly habit. Let God be the judge.

Na. wa o

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Is that Sowere, Sahara reporters guy at the left? First pic

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