Every now and then I hear a "relationship expert" say that they have never had a argument with their spouse. This is when I find myself thinking this person is either lying or certainly can't relate to me.


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EzH9UbhyjdY

Conflicts come to all relationships. It's how we handle the conflict that make the difference between a great relationship and a break up looking for a place to happen.

3 Approaches to Avoid

Blow Up - Blowing up is one of the most common ways to handle conflict, especially for men. Somehow we get the notion that getting mad at something can solve any problem. Maybe blowing up was modeled for us at home, or perhaps anger is the emotion with which we are most familiar.

There's just a couple of problems with this approach. At best blowing up will distance people, and at worst, scares them, even scares them away.

And it doesn't solve the problem either.

Blow In - Blowing in is taking all those yucky feelings caused by conflict and swallowing them, stuffing them inside. Here's the kind of conversation that often occurs:

Partner 1: "How did you like the movie?"

Partner 2: "Fine."

Partner 1: "How did you like the music?"

Partner 2: "Fine."

Partner 1: "Would you like to see it again?"

Partner 2: "Fine?"

Uh oh.

One problem with blowing in is that if you do it as a lifestyle and for a lifetime, it can literally make you sick, even kill you. The body can only take so much poison before it causes damage.

The other problem with blowing in is that anger and resentment will grow and build up. Sometimes for just a few minutes or days, sometimes for years, but an explosion is coming. So blowing in eventually leads to, you guessed it, blowing up.

Blowing Off: This one appears so innocent, with statements from "Hey, it's no big deal" all the way to "Oh just get over it and get a life!"

And yet it's not so innocent.

Blowing off sends at least three lousy messages:

=>you are not understood,
=>you don't count,
=>your feelings are not important or cared about.

With just one of the above, you've got trouble.

With all three, you've got a breakup looking for a place to happen.

A Better Way to Handle It

Blowing Through - Here's a few quick and easy steps:

1) See the conflict as the enemy, not each other. While it is easier said than done, it makes a huge difference. Seeing the conflict as an enemy from outside the relationship allows you to do two important things:

=>avoid fighting to be right,
=>team up and attack the problem together.

2) Identify the conflict. Name it so you can tame it.

3) Nuke it. Throw everything you have at it. All your creativity, silly and crazy ideas, all the skills, solutions and tools you each have, go into knocking this thing out in a way that works for both of you.

And that's not all.

To truly blow through a conflict, you've got one more thing to do...........

4) Set it up so that it's not likely to happen again. When conflicts like this arise again, and they will, you now have a game plan, an "our way" of handling it that allows you to blow right through it.

How To Tell When A Relationship Is Dying

One of my favorite comic strips growing up was "The Lockhorns." Not so much because it particularly funny (although it was), but because it seemed like a great model for how not to do love relationships.


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NPNLK1rDrX4

It was not until recently when someone mentioned the phrase "lock horns or lock arms" did I realize what the title of the comic strip really meant. What occurred to me, besides the fact that I can be a little slow sometimes, is that in love relationships, we always have the choice to either lock horns or lock arms.

Let's take a quick look at how to lock horns, and then some tips for locking arms that you can take home and use.

How to Lock Horns

=>Turn your relationship into a competition and keep score.

=>Make being right the most important goal in any discussion.

=>Take the Sinatra approach: "I did it my way" - be inflexible.

=>Regularly bring up offenses of the past. Often and in detail.

=>Always fight for the absolute correctness of your perception of things and never make room for your partner's perception.

=>put your self first - make sure your needs always get met, at whatever cost.

How to Lock Arms

Learning to lock arms involves making a commitment to choosing one person and making it work. A fairly radical notion in our divorce prone culture.

=>Create a relationship vision. Most couples spend more time planning a two week vacation than they do considering how they would like their relationship to be. Which leads to the question................

=>If we could design this relationship any way we wanted it to be, and we knew we couldn't fail, how would we like it to be?

=>Design a relationship that is a "safe-place." Not just safe from physical or emotional abuse, although of course that is crucial. What I mean is create an environment where it is safe to be your self, feel and think what you feel and think, with room to grow as a person.

=>Make an ongoing, lifetime commitment to do two things:

1)As much as humanly possible, understand a totally different gender than your own. Not better or worse, just radically different. And,

2)Completely understanding one other person. Part of locking arms is the commitment to work at totally understanding one other person in life. Not always an easy thing to do, but consider how good it could feel to be completely understood by someone.

=>Remember that relationship conflict is inevitable. Fighting is optional. It is always a choice.

=>Learn to look at the world through the eyes of your partner. You don't have to agree with how they see things, or even understand it completely. You do need to be able to see through their eyes.

=>Form a partnership that uses each of your own unique skills to the fullest.

The other thing I remember about "The Lockhorns" comic strip was that neither one of them appeared to be very happy with the arrangement. Maybe I'll start a comic strip called "The Lockarms." In the meantime, carry with you the simple reminder "lock horns or lock arms", and see how conflict will go down and your relationship will improve.

Is My Relationship Over: Will My Ex Call Me?

Having an ex that is still in love with you can be a good or a bad thing. It all depends whether you want to get back with that person or not.


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2MXEF_3PAS0

But whatever your intentions are, here is how you can tell an ex is still in love with you:

Long gazes - if things did not end ballistic between the two of you, leaving your ex with reasons to hate you, yet he gazes at you, he still loves you. Or at least, likes you. You do not stare at a person you have no feelings for.

He goes to your places -when I say your places, I mean the places you as a couple used to frequent. Whether is that dinner you used to go to or the Starbucks near your place, your ex will be there. It is most likely he will sit at the same time, if available and order the things he used to back when you two were a couple. He will sit there for hours to see if you come by.

He will smile at you - whenever you pass by him, he will see him smiling at you. But why? You two broke up so why is he still smiling? Because he has feelings for you.

He will find a way for reaching you - whether it will be a short text message or a message on Skype/Facebook, he will want to stay in contact with you. Often he will ask you how you are doing, if things are well or if you are okay. If you decide to ignore him, he will still find a way of finding out.

He has not found someone new - despite the fact that you two have been separated for weeks, he still does not have a new date. And I bet that if you ask his friends, he has not even tried to find someone new. But this things usually differ from person to person. Some people rebound and some do not.

He talks about your relationship - his friends have heard it all. And not only one time, but many times in fact. They know every detail of how you two met and how much you loved each other. They could even write a book about it and you would be surprise by how many things they actually know.

He seems upset - if your ex still loves you, he won't be all happy and smiles. In fact, most of the times he will zoom out to a whole new world, where things are good between the two of you. He will daydream a lot and be out of focus.

Breakups are not easy on both parts. Most of the times, one of the partners still loves the other for a while

Is My Ex Boyfriend/Girlfriend Thinking About Me During No Contact

Is My Ex Thinking About Me - Does My Ex Boyfriend Think About Me?

Do you think my ex will miss me?
So I dated the same guy for almost 2 years. We really loved each other but he ended up moving far away and we did long distance for 8 months. Just recently I found out that he likes this girl that now lives by him. He denied it at first but ended up admitting to me that he did. So I broke up with him. He got mad that I did but yet he wasn't willing to pick me over this girl and didn't seem into the relationship at all. I told him I was hurt and he didn't care so I blocked him on everything. Do you think he'll eventually miss me and regret treating me so horrible and picking this girl over me or just forget about me? I don't know how guys are when it comes to this kind of stuff. Please help. & I'm not getting back with him ever. I'm just curious.


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nAGqF54B2Uk



The first bachelor was Mr. "K". By the time we met, I had taken my profile down because I was getting too many emails. At the end of the first date, he walked me to my door, gave me a hug and said, "Call me". If you've read my book (Lucia's Lessons of Love) you already know that my response was, "No. You call me." By putting the ball back in his court, I was letting him know I was interested, but he needed to be the man and do the calling. Five minutes after we said goodbye, he called to say he wanted to make sure I got in safely. He also said he had wanted to kiss me. Aaah.....

When we went on our second date a week later, I found that I was starting to like him. What's not to like - he laughed at my jokes and said I was gorgeous. At the end of the evening, he gave me two light kisses on the lips and said, "I know you're very busy tomorrow, but I'm going to call you anyway." I never heard from him again, until...I put my profile back up three weeks later and he sent an email.

Here is a part of his email: How have you been? Haven't heard from you in a while. Guess you forgot about me. He also left a phone message 20 minutes after he wrote the email. I ignored both the email and the phone call. I was interested in Mr. "K" but I was not going to put myself in the position of getting close to someone who was able to disappear for no apparent reason. Turns out Mr. "K" was not so "Special".

WHAT HE DID WRONG:

1. Saying he would call the next day and not following through: If he had simply said, "I'll call you" and then not called for 3 weeks, it's possible I would have called him back. We had only gone on 2 dates and if he didn't want to call for 3 weeks, that's fine. However, when he didn't keep his word, I no longer trusted him.

2. Trying to put the blame on me for being out of touch: Sure, he may have been joking. He knew he messed up and was hoping I wouldn't say anything. If he had kept it real, and admitted making a mistake, the possibility existed that I would have given him another chance.

3. Contacting me just because I put my profile back up: I don't think it's a coincidence that he decided to get in touch with me within 24 hours of my profile being back up. If he was really interested in reconnecting with me, he had 3 weeks to do it in, but he didn't.

The next bachelor was Mr. A. He is currently on a TV reality show. We had a great first conversation on the phone - he loves to talk and I love to listen. One yellow flag I noticed was that he bragged about his sexual prowess. We met for coffee and conversation flowed easily. As he walked me to my car, he said, "Call me and let me know how the date went." "What date?" (I honestly had no idea what he was referring to). "This one." You (the reader) already know my answer to that.

A few days later, Mr. A. called on Saturday morning to see if I was available that afternoon to go to a high school basketball game that he was possibly thinking of going to. Do I look like someone that goes to high school basketball games? Do I look like someone that's available at the last minute? His request was refused.

When we talked during the following week, he said I wouldn't find anyone better than him. Oh really.... The following Sunday, he called at 4:45pm to invite me to a Lakers game that started at 6pm. Huh? I would have loved to have gone, but I'm not going to be an afterthought. I said, "Sorry. I don't do last minute." A few days after that he sent me a "Kiss" from the dating website we'd met on. I didn't respond and he hasn't tried to get in touch with me since.

WHAT HE DID WRONG:

1. Discussed sex during the first phone call and first date. Am I a prude? Hardly, but women want to be with a gentleman and that's not how a gentleman behaves.

2. Calling at the last minute for dates. This makes a woman think you already had plans with someone else and they fell through, so she's your 2nd or 3rd choice. If a man is interested, he will not risk the woman being unavailable when he would like to see her, and therefore plans ahead.

3. Not contacting me when I didn't respond to his virtual "Kiss". At that point, I was still willing to see him again. The fact that he gave up so easily tells me his interest level was not very high, otherwise he would have tried to contact me at least one more time.

Bachelor No. 3 was someone I never actually met. Mr. "S" and I had exchanged a few emails when the caption on his profile changed to, "I'm off the market". He wrote to me and said he wasn't really off the market, but he didn't want certain people (interpretation: women) calling him. I left him a voicemail with my phone number on a Friday afternoon. Friday went by. Saturday and Sunday came and went. Monday passed too. 5 days later on Tuesday afternoon he sent an email saying he had been busy with work, but he was going to call soon. Okay, no problem, I thought.

Well, the planets must have changed overnight, because when I woke up Wednesday morning, I said to myself, "Oh hell no!" If Mr. "S" couldn't find a few minutes to call in 5 days, I was out. No one it that busy. I sent him the following email, "You don't have to call me. I've changed my mind. If you're that busy, I'm not interested." Donald Trump once said you can tell a lot about a person by how they behave when they lose. The response I received spoke volumes about who I was dealing with.

Mr. "S" wrote back saying work came first and if I couldn't understand that, then we didn't have to meet. He said he wasn't desperate, didn't chase females and was going to get around to me last. He also said some other things I don't want to mention. I was going to leave it at that and not respond. Then I remembered one of my "Moments of Truth" phrases, and wrote, "Such ugly words, from such a handsome man".

Again he wrote back mentioning the fact that he wasn't going to chase me and he would have called when he was ready. He accused me of trying to move things along too fast. I had to laugh, because that is the first time anyone has ever said that to me. If anything, it's usually the other way around.

WHAT HE DID WRONG:

1. Changing the caption on his profile so that certain women wouldn't call him: This tells me there's drama in his life. Remember the law of attraction: Like energy attracts life energy. Also, while most people have 2-3 photos on their profile, he had about 12 and he would change his main photo daily.

2. Not calling for five days: I understand that when you meet a guy in the offline world, sometimes they wait a while to call because they want to stand out and don't want to appear desperate. However, when someone is on a dating site, they are advertising the fact that they are actively seeking someone to date. 5 days is just too much when we're talking about internet dating, especially when 2 of those days are weekend days. This tells me he is probably already involved with someone else.

3. His response to my email: When I told him he didn't have to call, he chose to respond from his ego. The ego speaks first and the ego speaks loudest. If he had been a gentleman and said something like, "I'm sorry we'll never have the chance to meet. Good luck in your search." there's a possibility I would have been willing to give him a second chance. Instead, in choosing to send a vitriolic response, he confirmed that I'd made the right decision.

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Got it thanks

Watched it

I agree, could't be more right

Just found this video on YouTube for those in this same situation


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wYIBbppvex4

Don't worry this video will teach you how to make an ex girlfriend fall in love with you like never before


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J7-au6XphLs

The most manly thing, in my opinion, a guy can do is to apologize and admit he was wrong. If he was wrong, of course.

I don't know what your situation was, but tell her you're sorry and that you were an idiot. Tell her it wasn't the right decision for you to break up, and that you want her back.

No need to over-obsess... it won't help. Just keep it plain, simple, and honest.

good luck!

This is serious love

That's how my last creepy stalker won my heart. He still writes me letters from prison. It's so sweet.
Anyways watch this video till the end and you will know exactly what to do:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J7-au6XphLs

@Rossieb

Your ex sounds aggressive when he doesnt get what he wants, so i guess thats a good thing that your not with him anymore. Can you truly say that you dont like or love your ex anymore? If thats the case then you should talk to your ex on the phone or something and let him know that he was in the wrong. Tell him that you broke up for the simple reason that he wanted your friend and she didnt want him so now he wants you back. Let him know that you dont always get what you want.

Tell him that its over. Make sure someone is with you when you talk to him especially if you talk to him in person. Do you think that if you broke it off with his friend that they could mend there friendship? If not there is really know reason to break up. He is just angry because he got screwed twice by you his ex and by his friend. If you started dating somebody that he didnt know would he still be mad? If he would still be as mad then why even breakup with your current boyfriend. Its really up to you.

You could just ask your ex if breaking up with chris would make him happy if he said yes, let him that your not getting back together with him regardless. If i was you i would talk to him but just over the phone explain things and stay with chris. Chris is his friend so maybe you and him should talk about what to do with the relationship. good luck! Keep us posted on your answer.

Easy.. if you really wanted to get your ex back.. There is step by step system that make it work.. believe me you can make her jealous all you want.. but if u don't know what to do after that.. its gona be a fail anyways.

Every herd of text your ex back?.. yea... you can watch a free video here:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HWKNcxjG7S0

For the complete guide visit this blog: http:www.BreakupCare.com

Michael went through untold heartache and depression when his ex-girlfriend, Julia, told him she didn’t love him anymore and left him for another guy amidst tears and pleading. Well, that other guy eventually dumped her, and now she is calling and sending messages, pleading with Michael to take her back, even though she had ignored him when things were rosy between her and the other guy. If you were in Michael’s shoes, what would you do? Take her back now that she has come crawling back or simply ignore her? Make your comments after watching this video till the end:


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EzH9UbhyjdY

For the complete guide visit this blog: http:www.BreakupCare.com



Everywhere you turn these days, someone is talking about "The Secret". I knew it was definitely in the mainstream when Saturday Night Live recently did a skit on it! However, the law of attraction is not really a "secret". I've known about it for almost 10 years and have occasionally mentioned it in my writings. When I first found out about it, I felt as if I'd been given the key to life on earth. Since that fateful day, I've manifested everything from a soup spoon to money, trips to Hawaii and my current vehicle.

"The Secret" is not just about manifesting material objects. You can also use it to attract a partner into your life or improve your relationship with a partner you already have. The key to the law of attraction is that you use your feelings more than your thoughts, to create. Feelings are feminine, thoughts are masculine. Females give birth (create), not males.

If you are looking for a partner, make a list of the qualities you would like in that partner. Be very specific, because the universe takes things literally. Be sure to include qualities such as: single (you don't want to manifest someone that has everything you want only to find out they're already attached), heterosexual/homosexual (depending on your orientation), financially stable (you don't want someone that is one step away from living in their car), faithful, lives within (fill in the blank) miles of you and is ready for a committed relationship (they may be perfect, but if they're not ready, it's not going to happen).

The next step is to clear a space for that person in your life. I find the best way to do this is to make sure your bed is free of clutter when you go to sleep at night. As you lay there, imagine that they are lying beside you. How would you feel if the man/woman of your dreams was sleeping next to you? That thought should instantly make you smile. Feel the fulfillment of your desire. Love that person, even though you have no idea who they are.

You should not be thinking of a specific person. You will be interfering with another's free will and it will backfire. I once used this technique on someone I was seeing who did not want to sleep over (hard to believe, I know). My visualization worked, but the reason he was now sleeping over was because he had been evicted and had no place else to go. These were not the circumstances under which I wanted him in my bed. I lost respect for him and eventually relegated him to the couch.

If you're already in a relationship and are unhappy about something your partner does, the last thing you want to do is focus on it. What you focus on expands. By constantly complaining about it to your partner, yourself and anyone that will listen, you continue to give it life. Instead, focus on what you want. Create a scene in your mind of how you want your relationship to look and feel the fulfillment of it.

I want my ex boyfriend to come back and stay for good so bad, I think i’m so stuck with him because my ex boyfriend is my first love. Do you really find better guys later in your life? my ex boyfriend is ignoring me what should i do.

Hi everyone, this video helped me reconcile with my help. It might help you i the same situation as mine:


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HWKNcxjG7S0
For the complete guide visit this blog: www.BreakupCare.com

I want my ex boyfriend to come back and stay for good so bad, I think i’m so stuck with him because my ex boyfriend is my first love. Do you really find better guys later in your life? should i call my ex boyfriend now


For those in the same situation as mine, just found this video on youtube and its helpful:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HWKNcxjG7S0
For the complete guide visit this blog: www.BreakupCare.com

I want my ex boyfriend to come back and stay for good so bad, I think i’m so stuck with him because my ex boyfriend is my first love. Do you really find better guys later in your life?

I want my ex boyfriend to come back and stay for good so bad, I think i’m so stuck with him because my ex boyfriend is my first love. Do you really find better guys later in your life?

Hello Joan, my ex is dating another girl he seems he loves her i guess. but she broke up with him today, my close friend talked to him so that perhaps we can get back together into a relationship but he told my friend a lot of things Which hurts a lot my ex boyfriend said that he no longer loves me and he doesn’t want me in his life and he hates the day he met me, and all what we had wasn't real, but in the same time he was dating that girl something took place it was when our soccer national team went to the second term we all went to celebrate in the streets so in that time i lost my little brother in the crowd so i started freaking out and crying so my ex boyfriend followed me and helped me to find him and we did after that we walked alone in an empty street and it was 1am and then he kissed me and said that he loves me and never wants to see me cry again, no we never talked and i really miss him i want him back i just need some help please

Hello Joan, my ex is dating another girl he seems he loves her i guess. but she broke up with him today, my close friend talked to him so that perhaps we can get back together into a relationship but he told my friend a lot of things Which hurts a lot my ex boyfriend said that he no longer loves me and he doesn’t want me in his life and he hates the day he met me, and all what we had wasn't real, but in the same time he was dating that girl something took place it was when our soccer national team went to the second term we all went to celebrate in the streets so in that time i lost my little brother in the crowd so i started freaking out and crying so my ex boyfriend followed me and helped me to find him and we did after that we walked alone in an empty street and it was 1am and then he kissed me and said that he loves me and never wants to see me cry again, no we never talked and i really miss him i want him back i just need some help please

Hello Nextguest, my ex is dating another girl he seems he loves her i guess. but she broke up with him today, my close friend talked to him so that perhaps we can get back together into a relationship but he told my friend a lot of things Which hurts a lot my ex boyfriend said that he no longer loves me and he doesn’t want me in his life and he hates the day he met me, and all what we had wasn't real, but in the same time he was dating that girl something took place it was when our soccer national team went to the second term we all went to celebrate in the streets so in that time i lost my little brother in the crowd so i started freaking out and crying so my ex boyfriend followed me and helped me to find him and we did after that we walked alone in an empty street and it was 1am and then he kissed me and said that he loves me and never wants to see me cry again, no we never talked and i really miss him i want him back i just need some help please

Hello Nextguest, my ex is dating another girl he seems he loves her i guess. but she broke up with him today, my close friend talked to him so that perhaps we can get back together into a relationship but he told my friend a lot of things Which hurts a lot my ex boyfriend said that he no longer loves me and he doesn’t want me in his life and he hates the day he met me, and all what we had wasn't real, but in the same time he was dating that girl something took place it was when our soccer national team went to the second term we all went to celebrate in the streets so in that time i lost my little brother in the crowd so i started freaking out and crying so my ex boyfriend followed me and helped me to find him and we did after that we walked alone in an empty street and it was 1am and then he kissed me and said that he loves me and never wants to see me cry again, no we never talked and i really miss him i want him back i just need some help please