Auxtan:
If you told me earlier in our relationship that I will ever break up with this girl I would not believe you but I had to and it was not for the reason you are expecting.

For 2 and a half years now, I have been dating my ex and wished we advanced to marriage.

In these 2 years I have been an almost perfect boyfriend in some way as I have been there for her emotionally, financially and otherwise but of course I might have my limitations unknown to me.

I am a comfortable dude, I make my own money and our relationship started with this girl being fully aware that I am somehow holding this status, when we started she was acting all not after me for the material things but because she loved me and wanted to be with me lol. It was a really cool experience and honestly she got my selfless and unconditional gifts on intervals that period.

So we went on like play like play like that without me minding the momentary monetary inputs I give to her not until she started being the one that asks for money herself.

I started seeing a pattern, this girl will come now and ask for help and will be like she needs 30k, 45k, 70k, etc, for this important thing (she's learning baking and stuffs like that) and I will offer to loan her the said amount and that when she is able to raise it she pays me back but she will be like she doesn't want a loan that if I can't help her then what is she to me lol, in these many different occasions I have eventually released when added together over 200K in separate occasions to her and not to add other extra add ons sha o

So on Friday last week, she called in the morning and was asking me if she has wronged me in anyway in our relationship, honestly outside her billing tendencies she doesn't have issues when it comes to being unfaithful or cheating, in my best of knowledge I have seem these tendencies in her. So I told her that early morning isn't a good time for such discussion and that we can have the discussion in the evening.

So in the evening, we got back to discussion and she asked her questions again, I gave her a honest positive response, obviously to her happiness in order to now bill me. She then proceeded that I should loan her 10K to use for a competition she has been a part of since the past 5 months now and I declined and told her that I don't have the said money and that I can only spare her 1k and I don't need any pay back. She wasn't happy but pretended to be cool with our conversation.

The next 3 days after that will birth a relationship where I am the only one trying to communicate to her and she not caring about reaching out to me.

Omo this evening, told her all her sins and bad sides I have been mute about and broke up with her especially for deciding to get angry because I didn't give her the money she asked for.

That's financial abuse she is using on you. She is bad than you think, soon you will find out that she was even cheating on you.

Ola9ja23:
You cant help but to love this man.

Oranyan report sponsored by Jonathan is what Asiwaju is implementing gradually.
Same continuity strategy that's impacting Lagos development is what Asiwaju is emulating at national level.

Politics no be by Nzogbu Nzogbu

Except for separation of some ministries like education and finance, I don't see any reason to create new ministries. You guys don't understand, Tinubu should at this point priorities cutting cost of governance.


That Tinubu is your man doesn't mean you shouldn't condemn some of his policies. Government policies affect we the common masses not the political class.

And I see you are now hailing Tinubu for using Jonathan model whom you guys called clueless.

Curse777:


Mister... If Production increases or stays the same (PMS we import) without demand increasing due to high price because subsidy was removed don't you think marketers would reduce price

Most marketers have their running capital as loans from banks

Before you support this government policies with economic terms, first know them.

Petrol is an inelastic product, changes in price does not affect demand, petrol is Like water we drink, that is the reason why a change in price of petrol affects almost every other commodity.

Whether Nigerians decide to consume only 10 litres of petrol daily, it will never reduce the price of petrol.

AntiTerrorist:
You are an illiterate saying something you heard from news but lack its understanding. Understanding of economic terms and its usage is not for tout like you.

No mind am, they just hear these economic terms on news and start saying it.

He doesn't know that market forces of demand and supply are the producers and consumers, so I ask him how does producers and consumers stabilize price.

Curse777:


If you don't understand such basic economics at your age, o shouldn't even talk to you in the first place

Economics professor... Just answer the simple question I asked you.

Curse777:




A little bit of patience and market forces would stabilize prices

The market middlemen hell bent on fustrating Nigerians with price inflation would soon get tired when volume of purchase decreases

Paying billions through debt for Petrol subsidy is not sustainable


.

What is market forces and how does market forces stabilize prices. Una go dey speak economic grammer weh una no sabi

Many people do not know that with the increase in MPR by CBN, commercial banks will now charge higher interest rates for loans.

What is happening with Tinubu economic policies for God sake.

[quote author=Humblelion1987 post=124646296]Good morning nairaland family, please I have a serious issue which I need your advice.
I met my fiancee 1st March 2022 and everything clicked, within few weeks, we are like people who have been together for years because we share many things in common, we are birthday mates, we like the same food, we are practically like twins. I work as a Key account manager in charge of my region in one of the leading multinational company here in Nigeria, why she works as an RN(registered nurse) in one of the top private hospital in the state I base too. I will be 33yrs by September while she will be 25years the same date and month. We are supposed to get married by May this year because am ready and she is ready too, but the parents have been frustrating me, one that am not from there state, we passed through that phase and fixed our traditional wedding next month, the mum and her people now came up with another issue that she must travel abroad before getting married, even when I have tried convincing them that I can't prevent there daughter from traveling even after marriage because I have been nursing same ambition too.

When I met my fiancee, she has been doing bad in her ihealth exams not until I came into her life. I have purchased the form three times in a space of 6 months plus her form for CBT and I do practically everything for my woman. Since we met, she doesn't touch her salary, she doesn't stress herself much about house duties, both washing, cooking and other things because as a bachelor, those are the things I enjoyed doing. I love her so much and she love me too, but am totally confused on what to do as the parents have said point blank that she can only get married when she travels to UK.

She had a serious fight with the parents last night and the mum even called me and told me that if I can't abide by there rules, I should forget about there daughter. Am the only son and my parents are not aware of the situation.

I don't know there problem because as a young man, I leave in a comfortable bungalow, drives good car outside my official car and equally employed one of her siblings on a temporary project am running for my office, which they both earn 60k monthly.

Please I need advise on how to go about this as I have two options in my mind. Should I move on and forget all the money I have spent so far or should I stand by my fiancee who loves me so much and finish the fight? [/quote
]

Had I not gone through this phase, I would have just read and pass. Op, if this story is true , then I put it to you that you suppose sweet woman and her family are trying to manipulate you.

Listen, If you find yourself over loving a girl and thinking of marriage in a short while, she is not worth it. I have been there before.

MissLeslie:
Well I love they way Obi approach the court, he should ask Atiku that have highest attendance at presidential tribunal how market. Any judge that nullify presidential election want to course war.

d

And who will fight the war?

Leandah:
Hello Nairalanders,

Please I need people with first hand experience to advice me on the best country that I can legally relocate to in the next 6 months with my son (Not UK pls). I was planning towards December 2024 initially but the situation of things in the country currently has made it become a thing of urgency, before the small savings I have is totally wiped off with forex and inflation rates.

I would really appreciate suggestions/recommendations.

Thank you.

Where are you running to? After supporting and voting Tinubu, abeg stay here let's make Nigeria great together.

Depriest2020:
Two things the government should do.
1. Pay federal workers 200k minimum wage
2. Establish industries in each of the 6 regions yearly for employment of the youth.

I pray you don't ever have anything to do with giving economic advice to the government, if not, we are all dead.

Tomorrow someone like you will become finance minister or CBN governor. Chaii.

QueenVaji:


Do you stay in aba?

That virgin part is a typical weapon of covert narcs...as they want u to believe they are too perfect

Baba honestly speakin eh, Am really scared reading all that you wrote up there and also with other peoples experience...its as if we dated the same girl

and to make matters worse, i still want to go back to her after 5 months we broke up already

The best us to go no contact, remove every means of reaching her, I am doing that now, it is not easy, I went back after two months of ghosting her, that was when the real her came out. I had to go back to ghosting her and decided that it was over for good.

It is the love bombing that makes you go back, when you think of how sweet she have been in the past, you feel you might not get another girl like her. I think one better way of forgetting her is to get a woman that have more that what she has, and seek help online.

QueenVaji:


If you catch them lying even red handed then u have started another war cos they rather die that to admit...i call my ex devil

They will start a war, if you catch them lying until you apologize. I don't wish NY worst enemy such experience.

goldust777:

He is not a simp narcissist get level there is surface narcissist the average Nigerian girl and pathogical or deep narcissist this are the real demons in humanskin that can send you to aro or yaba mental asylum/mental hospital by merely dating,marrying or being very close to them

Leave those guys, they claim strong on social media while they beg ladies for sex online. Victims of covert narcissist are medically advised to seek therapy because that shit is a terrible disorder, to them everyone but them is a simp.

Cloudflare:


That's emotional manipulations and being clingy. Everything you wrote above is called emotional manipulations. You mistake emotional manipulations as narcissist? Dude girls like the one you wrote above are highly manipulative.

Dude a girl who's narcissist Won't beg for your attention at all, she won't beg and beg you in the relationship. Na you sef go dey beg her just like the OP did. U will be the one that will always apologize to her just like the OP did. I dey tell you say u no fit handle the narcissist wey I don deal with before let alone banging them. Re-read my comments again to understand my point.

No need replying you dude, sure you must be a male narcissist too.

dunga09:
It was a terrible experince for me cuz I married one. It was a tough decision to allow her go after destroying my car windscreen. Some are even Millitant in nature.

Didn't you notice those signs early before wedding her? I know she pushed you for marriage early with her love bombing. I almost did same mistake of marrying her.

Sorry for your experience.

Cloudflare:


I can bet my balls you can't hangout with the narcissist girls have dealt with before let alone dating or knacking them.

Oga the greatest weapon a man has over a woman is ATTENTION. same way the greatest weapon a woman has over a man is SEX.

only real men understands this. It's like you don't know a woman's life revolves around ATTENTION. dude women can't do without attention, real men understands this and play the game very well. Narcissist girls loves attention like mad, this is exactly why even when they're at fault, they would want to shift the blame on you so you can Apologize (your apology will boast their ego and pride). A sane man won't apologize! In fact he'll ghost her like she doesn't exist. Dude we have played this game years ago, Na fact I dey tell you. Dem no born any girl well to do narcissistic for where you dey. They can only do that to weak Simp and gentle guys who think with their emotions. No be for where I dey

That is the reason I said you dated one of those Nigerian girls and not a covert narc.

A covert narc is like an eagle, she monitors you often, knows when to roll on the floor to apologise, even give you the said attention, all this she know what she is doing. Most of them start changing when you get married to them.

This girl at a stage in the relationship will beg and beg, and make it look like she will die if I leave, all was to get me deep and committed.

They disguise as that dream girl you want, and when they get you, they start destroying you. You are not strong than man that were once destroyed by female narc. I doubt you have ever dated a covert narcissist.

pansophist:
Narcs are like thieves, their operations are in the dark. They target the inexperienced and believe in their own exceptionalism on manipulation until they jam a narc slayer like me that will deal with them wotowoto.

I can be a friend with a narc forever, just to learn more from them, and counter their every move. I don't mind taking a few blows, but it's a small price to pay, to know their operations well.

I haven't dated a narc before I am too smart for them. I already know them from afar, and will never personalize those devilish creatures. And I don't care if they are black goats, in a dark alley, I can sniff them or feel their heartbeat. Pretense doesn't help them.

All this know-how comes with intense knowledge of human nature, a hardcore personal development journey, and not infusing my bias in a situation base on my feelings.

If your actions proves to me that you have narc tendencies, I will believe you. Your words are meaningless, I always look at your actions.

NArcs arer loosers. You don't have to chase them off. Befriend them and learn more from their operations.

You only need to encounter them to know how to deal with them, many people don't know that those narc are demons on their own. They come in different forms, mine was even a V. For people praying to marry a V, not all that glitter is gold.

thinkmoney:

You have weaknesses. She sensed it and used it against u

What do you think it mean when they say a narcissist destroys you? These people are demonic, going back to them is a mental charm they use on you. Just don't pray to experience a covert narcissist bro, If I tell you everything, you will see that I tried.

thinkmoney:

You show too many signs of weakness man. I have dated more than 100ladies (I am not proud of it), and never as any one show those kind of things to me to such degree.
Women with whatever mental situation still sizes up people

And you think I have not dated many babes? You didn't date a covert narcissist or you were never planning to settle down at that moment. Go online more and see hard guys and ladies being destroyed by covert narcissists.

richidinho:


Wow...i love such places, how is the economic situation there

Gembu has many economic potentials but not used, it has the biggest tea reserve in Africa, it has a state owned black tea company named Highland tea.

Forestry is another money making stuff there, people plant trees under 6 months, sell them as timber.

Agriculture is A in Gembu, they have things such as Irish potatoes, pepper of all sort, sesames, and others in quantity.

Gembu has border to southern Cameroon, so food is cheap over there.

And lastly they have the manbila hydroelectric which would have served 40 percent of Nigeria if only Government is serious about it.

Some company in France came to Gembu some years back and ask the govt that they should give them go ahead to look for other mineral resources in Gembu and that they will keep what ever they find. FG rejected.

Nigeria is so blessed, just bad leader.

goldust777:
A female covert narcissist the most dangerous category of narcissist is the worst person a man can date worst marry and have kids with,they will pretend to be some else they are not for years only to remove this fake pretensive mask suddenly especially in marriage and your left with a pure demonic evil woman,If you're the church going type you will think she was possessed by a demon and wasting your time taking her to pastors for deliverance.what you don't understand is she is actually the demon in human form ready to destroy your life totally and make your life hell on earth before you think of visiting as a sinner if you're married to a female covert narcissist please run for your life don't stay in it for the kids.if you're alive and not destroyed in a marriage to a female covert narcissist you can stay alive for your kids.Abeg run o

I was planning marriage with her soon, thank God the mask went off, bro if I start telling you my experience, you will really pity me, female covert narc destroy her prey no matter how strong he is.

Cloudflare:


Nothing like love bomb. She toyed with you and make it hard because humans naturally love what they can't get easily. Girls like that subdued immediately they encounter a real man. Bang nonsense out of her and give her the silent treatment. Tell her you're busy even when she wants your attention baldly. Dude she'll be the one wondering what you're up to. Dem no born am well to dey give you silent treatment when in reality na u suppose dey give her silent treatment.

Narcissist girls can only use quiet and emotionally Dudes. Baba no be guys like me because I don show dem shege tire.

You didn't date a narcissist, you probably date one of these Nigeria girls, date a covert narc and see the story.

achimendy:
These and many more I experienced from dating a female narcissist, female narcissists do not know ALFA male, just don't get into any relationship with them else they will destroy you, no matter how strong of a man you are.[color=#000000][/color]/quote]


Don't think every man is like you. You're a simp, that's why you go back begging her even when she did wrong to you .


I wonder how you still describe yourself as stubborn when you can't act.

I know for sure that I am strong of a man emotionally than you. What do you think simping is? Try get into a serious relationship with them and see.

CuriousStudent:
I am a female,but in all honesty,narcissism is most likely to be with a woman than men.

Narcissism comes from weakness, emotional weakness.The urge to be complimented and to be the center of attraction, the fear of admitting you are wrong or being judged that you have to obfuscate,spin tables,gaslight. The need to want to be in control of narratives. To get your strength by putting others. Hence a woman is more than likely to be a narcissist than a man. Men are more likely to be psychopaths than women. But there are male narcissist. They generally are cowards or weak or feminine.

A male narcissist=spiritual feminine man.


There is one way to deal with narcissist -ignore,don't indulge.when you ignore them,their sense of control is gone,they are very weak. But note that ignoring a narcissist is not for the faint at heart. You have been the source of their strength and validation ( by putting you down) ,a sudden withdrawal of that attention and strength you gave them will not go down well with them. They are not ready to love you,neither are they ready to lose you.
At this point love bombing is a tool they will use to lure you back. They will cry,tell you about a painful past that made them the way they are( in some cases lie about a tragic experience),even apologize in some cases, some drink poison or cut themselves to get you back..but don't fall for it.
If it's a male narcissist,he will quickly propose to you(to make you so excited that you forget all the uphills and what he has done). Then the cycle keeps repeating itself.

You are right about emotional weakness and fear, mine had all these traits, but I kept assuring her that I will always protect her. I did everything to show her true love and protection, maybe it got into her head.

Ignoring her is like starting a war, she gets depressed when ignored. Like I ignored her for some months when she won't accept that she was wrong, and when I thought about everything and decided to get back, she exploded and started avoiding me, I k ow I took away that supply for months, probably she got a new supply.

REVOLUTION2018:
I just dropped one.
It's not just only you she will destroy, she will destroy everything around you...

I am still trying to recover....

Moniya4Real:
You make it easier for them , especially when they realize you love them very much and like you are kind of emotionally attached to them. O boy! I got drained financially cos of mind-blowing sex she was giving.

Mine was a virgin, I was busy keeping her virginity in the name of I have found a wife. Truly she was a Virgin, because I confirmed.

But she has the mentality that I and not her father should take care of her, mind you, she is not a small girl.

BobbieZion:
They are usually very cute and charming.
Now that covers the underlying narcissistic tendencies,so at first you won't see it coming.

They love bomb you and create a false perfect world for you, but anytime you want to talk about any thing serious they snub you.
They are the greatest at entitlement,they want you to become their parent.
They are never available emotionally and they lack empathy.
They are great liars and have countless sex partners, so they are great cheats.

They make you run mad and after some time you will start losing your sanity.
Their victims are mostly kind hearted and caring people.
They are very intelligent and they create scenarios in their head, which makes them great at acting and directing.

Judith anywhere you are just know that I am a real OG, you couldn't toy with my intelligence.
And if I had the opportunity I will collect my Mavado watch back, e still dey pain me die.

Haha, seems you were also almost destroyed by her, I can say I was destroyed because she made me always go back to beg her after feeding me with silent treatment.

Beb will wrong me, when I get upset, she will give silent treatment until I apologize. To me I have found a wife, was busy planning marriage, I made her my priority, everything was about her needs, career and family.

Captain0823:
My brethren brother break up os the main solution... Let love breath
Don't look at the love side
Break up with her
I just break up with mine too last 2 months...

Fortunately for me, she gave silent treatment, I decided to leave, left for some months, and those were her most terrible moments.

18wheeler:
She may be narcissistic okay, but the main problem here is you. You are Simp

That is what you think until you meet one, I was thinking I was a simp, but you know why I am not a simp? Because we keep having problem, Narcissists need someone they can control and get attention from, if I was a simp, we would never had have problems.

othermen:
She’s still in your head.
You admitted that she love bombs you today and do otherwise tomorrow, the rest of what you said is about her attitude when there’s disagreement.
Might just be borderline.

No sir, it is more than a disagreement, only guys are ladies who have experienced a narcissistic abuse can explain to you better, read up and see peoples experience

meobizy:
Nairaland no get the IQ points to debate on this topic. Sometimes I believe you children rip questions from western forums to post here. A medium where users steal comments from other platforms to post as their thoughts will never amount to much.

I posted my experience madam, I for once don't bash women, go through my profile you will see threads where people have been advising me to run, it was a living hell for me, but I don't really blame her, I believe she doesn't know that she have this disorder.