Dear Nairalanders,

I am so frustrated now that the wife I married is not what I expect her to be, we share totally different values and reasoning. As regards this terrible differences, I resorted to creating this thread, because am not even sure if I am to be blamed to this, or maybe am trying my best to make things work and my wife is not just listening and trying to succumb and submit according to what I believe is the right way to do things and handle life. I am the t

My marriage is 4yrs old now with 2 kids, I have at a point in my life decided to file for divorce for irreconcilable differences,but because of the kids, I couldnt make that move. We have so much differences which is making the life of the both of us miserable, but I will make an exemplary fact just for you guys to get a scope of what the problem is. Her mother is late, even before I met her, only a dad and 4 siblings. I for one is without a dad, and also having a mum. Now the problem here is that when we first got married, I was really surprised about the fact that she never wanted my mother to come around even once in a while to visit her grand-daughter;s, there was at a time when she made a clear and fearless remark that " Cant your mum stay in one place and go and look for a job? I felt so bad and even disrespected to see my wife make such remark against my mother that has done no harm but to come and visit and leave in peace. This life ehn, its a pot of hot beans like falz said, I am 100% sure that even with the sightliest of flaws that a mother would have, I see no reason why a wife would despise the mother of her husband. My wife I would say does not really like her, and I cannot find a factual reason to see the reason why. Its sad that I wished she had a terrible MIL then maybe she would realize that my mum is a saint.

To cut the long story shot, I was born into a family of 4, and to be sincere I am the only one that is really taking of my mother @70 yrs old already. The other's apart from the first who still would do more if she has dont do nada. Infact mum is trying to move into a new place, and money to set up the room to taste has only been funded by me the last and the first born, yet my wife is secretly not happy about it. She keeps making comparison about how my mother is my number 1 over her which is really hearth-wrecking to hear. When it is 100% obvious that my family is my number 1 priority in every aspect. I have used a Toyota car for 9 years, still using, I have in 4 years of marriage bought two modern Toyota for my wife.Whereas I have not presented even a 1999 camry to my mother who has never owned a car for 70 years of her life. I even Set up a business for her that literally brings only 15% of her income to support the family which is once in a while. My brother and sisters, I swear on my life that I am very responsible, I do almost everything that has to do with the family, and I am proud of it, even friends and family applaud me just to let you guys be sure that it aint like am being irresponsible at home while impacting friends and families life.


On a sad note for what happened today which finally led me here. Her father informed us a week ahead about marking his bday, and that he was going to mark @ his residence. We all planned, got aso ebi and stuff. The birthday held today, so I had instructed them to leave yesterday beforehand so she can at least be present to help with chores and preparation while I had stay back to monitor some workers at where my mother was moving to. Plan was to leave early this morning so I can make it up before program of the bday starts. I was able to make it up, and everything went splendid and it was a great bday. On getting home, my wife brought up the issue of feeling bad that I had to arrange for an uber cab to pick them up when we had two cars at home bla bla bla, and that if I respected his father that I would have scarified leaving with them that Sunday. I replied saying, I explained everything to you before I executed my plans. #1, I will never allow you drive long distance alone, and never will I since the children would be with her. #2, if you go with one car, and am coming over with the second car the next day, it would be senseless to be coming back home with 2 the two card. So I was gonna higher uber to drop them off, take 1 of the car down there, and then we come back home with that same car, and she concurred. Only to surprise me that her father is not being taken seriously thats why I didnt sleep over from Sunday. I am a man for heavens sake, even if I didnt have anything to do and I decide I just want to be in my house and attend the occasion promptly the next day, crime has not been committed. But she so took that has an offense and made a serious mess out of that irrelevant ranting.


I am sorry for the long story, though am fed up with these differences, and its also obvious that she is playing my family, your family game, which to me is unfair. The father have never visited us official ever since we got married, maybe only once. I never had issues with that.She claims because the man is far away, so what? I nor dey complain oo, but she complains and make remark on things that are obviously not to be questioned. Now my resolution is dissolving the marriage because I can see that she isnt really change, and I also cannot live with a woman that shares a different value and ideology as I do, which always lead to disagreement and bitter and hard words. Nairalanders, but is it worth it? Marriage to me oo, in my own definition based on my situation is a BIG TRAP. Singles, please court your wife well, use your six sense to decipher who she really in order to match compatibility, that even when there is issue, its always easy to resolve because you guys understand and reason accordingly and not otherwise. God bless us all.