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Men are much more visual than us ladies when it comes to love, and they want a stunning, sexy girlfriend. This is how you can be just what he wants.

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There’s just no denying that guys think with something other than their brain. It’s just the cold hard truth, and us ladies have to remember that. Fortunately for us, being a sexy girlfriend doesn’t have to do with what we look like nearly as much as you might think.

In fact, there can be ridiculously attractive girls who just aren’t sexy at all. Sexiness is much more about how you behave and your attitude more than it is about the way you look. Yes, your boyfriend may think visually, but it’s the cues he’s seeing that make him think you’re sexy.

Can you be sexy if you don’t feel sexy?

In short, yes. Haven’t you ever heard the phrase, “Fake it ‘till you make it?” Well, that’s exactly how you can be sexy, even if you don’t know how to be or you don’t necessarily feel like you’re the sexy type of girl.

Although you may have gone through life never feeling sexy before, it’s just because you didn’t really know how. Sure, some girls are kind of born to be sexy, while others have to learn how to do it. But either way, you can definitely be sexy even if you’re not feeling like you are.

How to be a sexy girlfriend

If you want to shock your boyfriend and become the girl he’s always wanted, you’ll need a few pointers. Guys kind of have this image of the perfect sexy girlfriend, and that’s usually one who can make him feel things that he never has before.

That may sound like a tall order to fill, but with these tips on becoming the sexy girlfriend your boyfriend always wanted, you’ll learn how in no time. Now, go surprise him and be that sexy girl he knows you can be!

#1 Find out what he likes. Different guys find different things to be sexy. One guy may think you in a large t-shirt with your hair all messy is sexy, while another guy might think that looks lazy and unattractive.

Get to know him more and find out what he finds sexy. Listen to the comments he makes about certain girls in movies and whatnot. You can also pay attention to how he reacts to certain things you do. If he seems to think it’s sexy, do it more!

#2 Gain some confidence. Confidence is vital in portraying yourself as sexy, even if you don’t think you are. If you can have confidence, or even fake it, you’ll be much sexier to him than you were before. [Read: How self-respect affects you and your relationship]

#3 Make eye contact often. Never underestimate the power of eye contact. The reason this is so sexy is because it commands attention. If you walk into a room and slowly lift your lids and give your man eye contact, you’re making a connection out of pretty much nothing. That’s sexy.

#4 Have a sense of humor. You can ask a whole lot of people out there and they’ll all agree that in order to be a sexy girlfriend, you have to have a sense of humor. Nothing is sexier than a girl that can take a joke and not make a big deal out of it. [Read: Types of humor and how it affects your relationship]

#5 Use your smile. Smiling is extremely warming and sexy. If you’ve got a great smile, USE IT. You can light up an entire room with a smile, and he’ll notice just how sexy that is.

#6 Smell great. Us ladies all agree that when a man smells good, it’s really sexy, right? Well, not surprisingly, guys think the same thing about when a girl smells good.

The secret to this is to wear perfume *not a lot* right before having sex. Then use that same perfume when you go out together, and it’ll automatically make him think about when you two were intimate. And that’s really sexy. [Read: How to keep a guy interested in 30 super sexy ways]

#7 Get some sexy clothing. This doesn’t mean lingerie, necessarily. Different guys have different clothes they think are sexy. If your guy thinks you’re sexiest in a pair of leggings with a simple t-shirt, then go buy that! However, buying something like lingerie that’s ONLY for his eyes can also be really sexy.

#8 Be interested in his interests. If he’s really into a certain book or movie or band, get interested in it, too. Obviously, don’t fake being into something just because he is. But gaining a genuine interest in his hobbies is going to be really sexy to him. [Read: How to make your boyfriend want you more than ever]

#9 Play out his fantasies. Does your man always bring up the fact that you’d look really sexy in a nurse outfit? Well, then wear one and play out his fantasies! Any girl that’s willing to compromise her pride – if the fantasy is embarrassing, at least – is going to be a really sexy girlfriend in the eyes of her boyfriend.

#10 Don’t UnCloth in order to be sexy. This is a really bad mistake that a lot of girls make when they want to be sexy. They start wearing less, showing more cleavage and skin, and getting sleazy instead of sexy.

Something that’s really sexy to a guy is when you’re really modest and appropriate in public, but a total sex machine when you’re alone. Save the undressing for his eyes – and only when you’re meant to be undressed. [Read: How to look sexy without trying to look sexy]

#11 Have a healthy appetite. Girls who can chow down a burger and fries is sexy to guys. If you want to be a sexy girlfriend, then you’ve got to have an appetite. I’m not saying you should fake loving crappy food. I’m saying that you should never hide or be embarrassed about the fact that you like to eat a lot of food.

#12 Wear his t-shirt. When you’re just hanging out at his place, or you just got done having sex, throw on his t-shirt and walk around in only that. You wouldn’t believe how sexy it is for a guy to watch you walk around half naked in his t-shirt.

#13 Take it slow. Going straight for the sex when you first get together with your boyfriend is not sexy. In fact, it’s kind of trashy, and he’ll see you as more promiscuous than you probably are. Take things slow and build up respect first. [Read: 25 awesome ways to keep a guy hooked and happy in love]

Your man will think you’re SO sexy if he realized that you respect yourself, and he’ll also respect you – which only adds to how sexy he’ll think you are.

#14 Touch him in all the right places and the right times. No. Don’t grab his junk at every opportunity. That’s not sexy. But placing your hands in all the right places at the right times can work wonders in your favor.

When he walks past you, lightly touch his shoulder. When you hug him, brush your fingers through his hair. These little moments of contact can make you seem extremely sexy in his eyes. [Read: 16 more sassy ways to be really sexy for your man]

#15 Be yourself. I know this is said time and time again, but there’s a reason for it. You have to be yourself if you ever hope to be seen as the sexy girlfriend.

When you’re trying to be someone else, you’re not genuine, and being fake isn’t sexy at all. Be yourself and you’ll find that the right boyfriend is going to find you to be the sexiest girlfriend he’s ever had.

Figuring out if someone likes you can be difficult sometimes. But don’t worry, we’ve got you covered. This is how to tell if a guy is into you.


Maybe you have had your eye on someone for a while now, and you might have had several conversations, even been on what could have been described as dates. But now you have reached a point where you have serious feelings for him, and yet, you still aren’t sure whether he feels the same way about you. Have you ever found yourself wondering how to tell if a guy is into you?

Guys work differently than girls and tend to be less expressive when it comes to dealing with their emotions. While girls prefer to make it pretty obvious if they like someone, guys can often put on a more macho appearance so that they don’t lose face if a girl rejects them.

How to tell if a guy is into you

We’ve all wondered how to tell if a guy is into you. If you are trying to find out whether your crush *or the guy you have been seeing for a while* is really into you, look out for these 22 signs, which are very good indicators that he does!

#1 He uses his words. Okay, let’s just get this one out in the open right away. There are some instances when a guy will just do the ‘normal’ thing and tell you. If he does, for goodness sake, believe him! If he is putting his feelings on the line like that, he must be pretty into you. Hip hip hooray! [Read: 12 science-backed clues to know if a guy likes you for sure]

#2 He asks you questions. If he is asking you a ton of questions, it’s because he wants to find out everything about you. He wouldn’t bother wasting his time and energy doing this on a girl he doesn’t like, so if you feel a little like you are being grilled, it’s only because he really wants to get to know you better!

#3 He likes what you like. Now it may just be a coincidence that your favorite band/book/restaurant is also his, but it is more likely that he is trying to find common ground with you because he likes you.

If you have a particular hobby and you suddenly find him knowing all about it, or tagging along because ‘he’s always wanted to try it,’ he is probably just finding ways to spend more time with you. [Read: 30 peculiar signs to look for when a guy likes you]

#4 He gets close. Look at his body language when you are talking to him. Is he turned towards you? Does he keep leaning in when you speak? Does he occasionally touch your arm mid-conversation?

If he is trying to get close to you and his body language is concentrated on you, this is because he is literally hanging on your every word.

#5 He makes a beeline for you. Every time you two are in the same room together, does he come up to you right away? This is because he can’t wait to talk to you and wants to spend as much time in your company as he possibly can.

#6 He seems kind of strange whenever you are with him. Believe it or not, guys can get themselves all worked up about a girl they like too! If he starts acting differently whenever you are hanging out, it is probably because he is trying to make himself seem more attractive to you.

Does he get louder and start showing off and making jokes, or does he go all quiet and shy? Keep a lookout, and if you find your crush’s behavior changing, it probably means you’re having a serious effect on him! [Read: How do I know if he likes me if he won’t talk to me?]

#7 He totally ignores you. Often what can seem like hate is actually love. If a guy basically ignores you completely, it might not be what you think! If you make him feel nervous and tongue-tied, his nervousness could come across as abrupt and rude. So give him a chance, go easy on him, and see if you can’t make him feel more relaxed.

#8 His body is turning towards you. Next time you are with him, check out his body language. If his body is turned in towards you, it probably means he is into you. He is showing himself off to you, but also it shows that his attention is fixated on you – he is not about to get distracted by anything or anyone else. [Read: Does he like me? 18 signs to decode his body language]

#9 He buys you a drink. Simple but effective. If a guy asks you if you’d like a drink, it’s because he wants to show you that he’s chivalrous. If you like him, make sure you say yes! This might seem like an obvious one for how to tell if a guy is into you, but it usually is true.

#10 He asks you for your number… and then calls you. If a guy asks for your number, it’s a sure-fire way to know that he is interested in you. He obviously wants to keep that connection going and hopefully meet up with you again.

Of course, there are some guys out there who take those digits and then disappear into the night. So if he calls or texts you, then you are on to a good thing for sure! [Read: 20 signs of attraction in the first conversation]

#11 He wants to be Facebook buddies. If he’s adding you on Facebook, this is a really great sign. He is clearly interested enough in you to want to get to know you better, to find out more about you, and daydream over you while checking out your profile pictures! It also shows that he has nothing to hide.

#12 He makes a move. If a guy goes in for a kiss, it’s because he thinks you are seriously hot stuff! It may seem obvious, but then again, him making a move may get lost in translation if he is feeling a little nervous.

So make sure you pay attention to him, and if he goes for that little lean in when there is a lull in conversation, then take the hint and kiss him! [Read: How to kiss a guy for the first time and turn him on instantly]

#13 He makes lots of eye contact. If he keeps looking at you, it means he just simply can’t help himself. This boy is seriously attracted to you so make your move now!

#14 He looks away. Okay, so sometimes guys are a little shy. So if he can’t maintain eye contact with you, keeps staring at the floor and mumbling into his t-shirt, it’s probably because he likes you so much that you’re making him a little nervous!

#15 He asks if you have a boyfriend. No, he isn’t just nosy! He wants to find out if you are free and single! Duh! [Read: 11 signs he really likes you but is too chicken to admit it]

#16 He gets all fidgety. Another telltale sign of nerve here – if the guy is getting all twitchy around you, it’s probably because he thinks you are pretty dreamy, and you’re making his stomach go all fluttery! And this is one of the ways for how to know if a guy is into you.

#17 He acts all macho. If the guy you have a crush on suddenly goes all alpha male all the time when you are around, it is probably his way of showing off. He wants you to see him as manly and protective. And this is his way of doing it, even if it might actually make him look like a bit of a doofus.

#18 He gets all protective. Be it a comforting arm around your shoulder, stirring you through a crowd or sticking up for you when things get a bit fairy, this guy is all about making sure you are safe and sound – how nice is that? [Read: 15 unfortunate signs he likes you but isn’t really into you]

#19 He gets jealous. There is nothing worse than seeing the person you like with someone else. If he gets jealous when you talk to other guys, it is because he wants you all for himself. And that’s how to tell if a guy is into you for sure!

#20 He remembers the little things. That movie you said you wanted to see – he got tickets for it. Your favorite restaurant – he’s taking you to it. That random necklace you mentioned you liked weeks ago – he bought it for you. This guy is paying attention to everything you say, and going all out to impress!

#21 He teases you. A guy making fun of you is usually just his silly way of flirting. When will they learn?!

#22 He arrives early and stays late. Whatever you have asked him to do, whether it’s a dinner date or helping you out with a project, he always gets there before you and stays after everyone else has gone home.

He clearly wants to spend as much time getting to know you as he possibly can. Awwww.

How to know if a guy is into you doesn’t have to be tricky. So memorize this list of 22 signs to watch out for, and next time your crush appears, we’ll bet that he’ll be doing some if not all of these!

SO, YOU LIKE A GUY BUT YOU’RE NOT SURE HOW TO GET HIS ATTENTION AND GET HIM HOOKED. BUT DON’T STRESS OUT, HERE IS HOW TO MAKE A GUY WANT YOU.


Not all of us look like Angelina Jolie, and honestly, it’s a good thing we don’t or else everything would be too easy. Where’s the chase? Where’s the strategic planning?

How to make a guy want you

Yeah, don’t deny it, I know you know his every move. If you’ve been eyeing a guy and you want him, well, there are a couple of things you can do to help avert his attention in the right direction… you know… in YOUR direction. So, it’s time to switch your method up and read about these 15 ways to learn how to make a guy want you.

#1 Confidence. This is huge and probably the most important factor in learning how to make a guy want you. You need to be confident, and you need to show that you love yourself.

There’s a reason why men drop their jaws when they see a woman walking confidently down the street – she is spewing sex appeal and confidence. She doesn’t need them, and that’s what makes her sexy as hell. If you want the guy, you need to think that you don’t need the guy.

#2 Body language is key. Have you ever seen a couple sitting at the bar? They’re facing each other, leaning forward with feet pointing in the other’s direction.

Before you even have to open your mouth, you can signal your feelings to him through body language and wait to see if he responds by copying your body language. I know it sounds a little off, but you’d be amazed by how it works.

#3 Build up the excitement. You want to make him excited and get his adrenaline pumping. The best way to get him aroused is to do a fun activity that forces the adrenaline to rush through his body.

This could be riding a roller coaster or going bungee-jumping. Believe it or not, excitement stimulates attractiveness and arousal, so get that parachute on.

#4 Copy him. This might sounds like a weird strategy when learning how to make a guy want you. But basically, what you want to do is mimic and mirror them. You won’t have to try too hard with this one.

When you hang out with someone more and more, you end up developing similar mannerisms like listening to the same music, etc. You may not even realize it, but you’ll eventually start even copying their gestures.

#5 Open up to him. You can only talk about the rain for so many minutes until it’s time to get into a deeper conversation. If you can’t open up to him, well, he won’t open up to you, and then you won’t be able to develop a connection.

But, that means one of you will have to make the first move in opening up. It can be scary, but if you feel that you can trust him as a person, then you should be able to share something personal about yourself.

#6 Be around him. Now, don’t be stalking him, that’s not what I’m trying to get at with this one. You want to be around him and spend time with him. The more time you spend with someone, the more attracted you become.

Why do celebrities always end up dating people they’ve done movies with? Because they just spent all day, every day, for the past six months with that one person. So, it only makes sense. Try to hang out with him in a group or if you can, solo. I guess this is one of the more obvious strategies for how to make a guy want you.

#7 Relate to him. People like being around those who understand them. So this case isn’t any different. Now, don’t go crazy with this, but find out some things that he’s interested in and get a conversation going about one of these topics.

But, the trick is, you should actually be interested in the topic or else it’ll show that you’re bored talking about vintage cars or hockey. However, once you found a topic, you’ll have something to discuss and he’ll see that you have a common interest.

#8 Keep a little mystery. This is a great lesson in how to make a guy want you. Men like mystery, women like mystery – that’s why we love the chase. So, right now, you’re trying to lure the guy in and grab his attention.

You want to be a little mysterious. Don’t be completely silent, however, don’t give him everything he wants. Keep some information to yourself – it’ll make him even more curious about you.

#9 Reduce the drama. Listen, men are dramatic. They’re worse than women, at least I think so. But, one thing I know is that they don’t like listening to female gossip. If a guy doesn’t like another guy, he makes it clear.

But we women aren’t that upfront with our emotions, thus, it turns into gossip. So, instead of telling him your daily gossip news, call your best friend and unleash it onto them. It’s better that way, especially if you’re unable to not spread gossip.

The bottom line is: don’t gossip because it makes you look like an asshole.

#10 Work your feminine side. Being feminine isn’t a negative trait. People always think it means that the woman is fragile and weak, but that isn’t what femininity is. You can wear a dress and makeup and still be a strong woman.

It’s okay to tap into your feminine side and sit with your legs closed or chew with your mouth shut. These things don’t make you a weak woman. So, throw out those misconceptions and if you feel like showing your feminine side, then show it. Plus, men appreciate a woman who is strong and can still look like a woman.

#11 Don’t be clingy. For the love of God, if you want to learn how to make a guy want you, then do NOT be clingy! Yeah, remember that guy who texted you once and then he texted you again and again and again until you finally answered him? That relationship didn’t go too far, eh? People, in general, don’t like clingy people.

It makes them feel suffocated. Men are people. They don’t want a woman who is dependent and constantly needs attention and confirmation. So, if you want him to become interested in you, hang out with him, text him, do all those things.

However, don’t become suffocating. Let him ask you to hang out and start the conversation sometimes.

#12 Get his nose sniffing. Why don’t you attract him with your scent? Sounds a little animalistic, right? But, at the end of the day, that’s what we are. So, spritz a little of your favorite perfume on – a little, let’s not smell like the entire bottle – and make him go crazy for that sexy and sensual scent. Scientifically proven strategy on how to get a guy to want you.

#13 Flirt, but not too much. Flirt – I highly recommend it because it’s fun and you can push the boundaries while keeping it in the fun zone. But don’t go too far with the flirtatious boundaries. You want to pull him and keep him interested.

Flirt and then pull back a little – you’re trying to get him to chase you. If you lay out all of your best flirtatious moves right away, well, you won’t last long. If you want him, you’re going to have to take control of the situation.

#14 Have your own life. The worst thing that can happen is letting him see that he’s the only thing that’s going on in your life. Even if that’s true, you can’t let him know that. Guys are interested in girls who are usually busy making plans for themselves.

You need to have your own life and activities that don’t include him. It not only will give you self-confidence, but it shows that he’s not your first priority – even though you’d like him to be.

Never make a guy your number one. That is something you always need to remember, but especially when learning how to make a guy want you.

#15 Compliment him. Don’t go overboard on this or else you can look desperate. But complimenting a guy never hurt anyone. In fact, they’ll not only feel good, but they’ll notice that you’re noticing things about them.

Maybe he got a new haircut or is wearing a great-smelling cologne. So, just tell him what you think. He may take that as a sign that you’re interested in him, and well, that’s what you wanted.

Through all these tips, there’s a common thread: not to look overly interested. It’s not as easy as it looks, but if you follow these tips, you’ll become a master at knowing how to get a guy to want you.

By: www.highghost.com

WHEN YOU’RE DATING A NEW GUY, YOU’RE A LITTLE NERVOUS. BUT IF YOU KNOW HOW TO TOUCH A GUY, YOU’LL BE ABLE TO TURN HIM ON AND MAKE HIM LOSE HIS MIND.

If you’re wanting to turn your man on, you’ll need to know where and how to touch a guy. I know, it may sound like you’ll need to get a degree in it, but trust me, it’s not that complicated. It’s all about learning what your man likes and where his sensitivity lies.


17 tips on where and how to touch a guy

Dating someone new is fun, but don’t put too much pressure on yourself to get everything perfect in the beginning. You’ll need to practice, and you know this won’t be boring for you or your man. So, here are the 16 tips on where and how to touch a guy.

#1 Flirt your way to touching. It would be a little weird if you just started touching a guy out of nowhere. You want to build some tension between the two of you.

Use your words and body language to flirt with him – use eye contact, slowly progress to touching his arm, and so on. You don’t have to rush. Take your time and enjoy the moment.

#2 Be confident. You want to touch him like you mean it. Okay, it’s obvious that you want to touch him, but don’t be shy or nervous to let your hands explore his body. You want him to know that you know what you’re doing.

Even if you don’t, it’ll look like you do, so just confidently go with the flow. When learning how to touch a guy, this one is important to remember.

#3 Pay attention to his reaction. When you’re starting to touch a guy, pay attention to his reaction. Maybe he isn’t a fan of having his chest rubbed or his ear nibbled on – everyone’s different. What you need to do is see what touch makes him moan, and then channel all your energy into that.

#4 Tease him. If you’re rubbing his chest and slowly making your way down south, you don’t need to go below the belt. He’ll want you to – let’s not play stupid – but you can drive him nuts by using your fingers to tease him.

Men drive us nuts all the time, so, this is pleasurable payback. They can handle it.

#5 Work in some dirty talk. While you’re touching him, let yourself get a little naughty and expand your vocabulary with some dirty phrases. You can say things like, “this makes me wet,” or “I want to taste you” – that’ll get him even more aroused. Just make sure your mother doesn’t hear you.

#6 Sensual massage. You can start touching him by giving him a sensual back massage. Who doesn’t like getting a massage? Exactly. This is a great way to relax him, and if you’re nervous, you’ll be able to massage the nervous energy out of your body.

Have him lay on his stomach, shirtless, while your straddle him. When you see his back muscles, you won’t be massaging him for long.

#7 Touch his butt. You may think that grabbing an ass is reserved for men, but listen, guys love it when a girl grabs their ass. Just give it a good squeeze, and maybe even throw in a playful slap. Grabbing his butt will intensify the situation and make him a little rougher – in a good way.

#8 Touch his neck. You can do this anytime, during pre-intimacy or sex – lick from the bottom of his neck to his earlobe. The neck is a very sensitive place, so he’ll be getting tingling sensations up his spine when you do it.

Or, while making out, grab his neck and rub your hand back and forth – it’s very sensual.

#9 Nibble on his earlobe. The earlobe is filled with nerve endings, so you can only image how sensitive it is. During pre-intimacy, nibble or lick his earlobe. It’ll drive him nuts. I do it all the time with whoever I’m dating, and it never fails me. Ooooooh, now that’s how to touch a guy!

#10 Touch his p-spot. Oh, yes, the classic P-spot – I just found out what it’s called. I always called it “that part.” The Perineum *p-spot for short* is the skin that’s just past his testicles. It’s underneath the prostate gland, the most important part of a man’s reproductive organ.

You can actually use your finger to massage that area during sex so you heighten his arousal.

#11 Touch his f-spot. You probably don’t know about the f-spot, but it’s actually the flesh that’s underneath the crown of his penis where the head connects to the shaft.

I would Google image the spot just to be sure you know where it is. This area isn’t really focused on, however, it’s filled with nerves and when you lick it, it’ll make the guy go crazy.

#12 Touch his skin. Touching someone’s skin is incredibly arousing. It could be their hands, knees, shoulders – it doesn’t matter where. By touching their skin, you’ll increase their blood flow – ba-zing!

While you’re making out, make sure to rub your hands all over him, and he’ll feel every touch.

#13 Touch his fingers. So many people stay focused on the guy’s genitals, which, I’m not saying is a bad thing. But you’re forgetting other important body parts. You can start to suck on his fingers – it’ll turn him on instantaneously. While you suck on his fingers, look him in the eye – that’ll get his imagination going.

#14 Touch his nipples. Okay, when you were wondering how to touch a guy, this one probably never dawned on you. Men love incorporating your nipples into pre-intimacy and sex due to their sensitivity. However, men’s nipples can be even more sensitive because they’re usually not a focal point during sex.

Come on ladies, we rarely pay attention to their nipples. You can lick around the areola and gently bite it. It’ll work even better if your tongue is cold – those nerve endings will get a little shock treatment.

#15 Touch the soles of his feet. You don’t have to try this if feet aren’t your thing. But, if you don’t mind feet, you should know that men have more nerve endings in their soles than women.

So, you can start by giving him a foot massage and use this the first step before transitioning into something more sexual. This may not be your favorite strategy for how to touch a guy, but it can be really awesome for him.

#16 Touch his lips. Obviously, you’ll be kissing him, but that’s not the only thing you can do with his lips. You can playfully bite, suck, or lick his lips. And by doing so, you’re telling him that he can be a little rougher. The lower lip also has sensitive nerve receptors that’ll enhance his sexual energy.

#17 Touch his head. While you’re making out with your guy, run your hands through his hair all the way down to the back of his neck. It’s not only extremely sensual, but it’ll send tingling sensations down his body.

Grab his hair, pull it – it gives you more control and shows him if you’d like it rougher.

Knowing how to touch a guy is crucial during pre-intimacy and sex. So, test some of these spots out and see which one he reacts to the best. It’s not only fun, but it’s a great way to connect with your partner.

MY DEAREST DAUGHTER,

One day you will ask me “Daddy, what was the war like?” and I will freeze like a deer caught in the headlights. “How should I answer a question like that?” I wonder. Especially to a young girl, curious about what she’s learned in school.

Read more…

“Daddy was in the war. Both of them. I see his medals in our hallway!” Perhaps this is what you’ll tell your teacher. But as you grow into a teenager you’ll have more questions, and I imagine I will be somewhat of an enigma at times.

So instead, my dear Adelaide, I will tell you about young men and honor.

When I was a young boy, I was told by other boys that nothing was better than getting one free hand up a girls shirt in the middle of a dark movie theater. It was a strange sentiment because I just wanted her to smile at me and hold my hand. But holding hands was for “gays” they said. Grow a pair and cop a feel.

There is a terrible thing that happens in a young boy’s head when confronted by other members of your pack. Like jackals running wild, you do not want to be left alone to hunt, for fear that the pack may turn and devour you. So when they ask you to take down the innocent gazelle, you shyly comply to prove that, you too, are a member of this pack. This tribe.

I wish I could tell you that your father was an honorable man when he was younger, but he was not. He ran with the pack and even became their leader at times. Hunting at night like a rabid wolf or an insatiable vampire. Feeding on those he deemed weak or easy prey. There were even the strong ones he simply viewed as a challenge, and like every vampire trick in the book, I was charming until I left you half dead and drained.

There is a certain swagger young men carry when they’re insecure. Perhaps it’s why we hunt women sometimes. My swagger disappeared in the wars. Some men will piss themselves. Others cry for their mothers. I begged and begged not to be sent to the front lines.

I will not lie, Adi. Men died, and I was afraid. But some men displayed honor until the moment of their death.

An entire platoon refused to shoot a little girl carrying ammunition to the enemy each day. That decision would cost some their lives. Other men would brave bullets and death to save an injured friend. One held the hand of a fellow soldier and told him over and over it “would be okay ” until he passed. It didn’t matter he was still being shot at. Some would share their meals with poor farmers.


After the war, I saw honor in different ways from other men who were not in the military. One evening, a group of us sat in a local pub nursing a beer, when one of the men began bragging about the sexual exploits of a friend who was getting away with infidelity. The jeering was reaching a crescendo when a voice boomed over the laughter.

“What a sad excuse for a husband.”

The laughter died, and the men stared blankly into their beers for a long moment, refusing to look at the man who had defied them, while he glared, daring them to challenge him.

I do not know what the future of dating will look like for you many years from now or how men will treat you. And I know now, as much as I’d like to, I cannot protect you from all the landmines and jackals running rampant. You will have to learn to face them on your own.

But I can tell you what to look for. Look for honor.

Look for integrity, selflessness, sacrifice, and compassion. Find those who champion justice and fidelity. But above all, seek men who emulate humility and meekness. Do not, as so many others do, be deceived into thinking it is a weakness.

Meekness is strength wrapped in humility, my dear daughter. It is strength under control in a world where so many are out of control.

Do not confuse velvet words and simply holding a door open as honor. Instead, observe how he treats others, your waiter, the homeless, and the marginalized. For if you see how he treats those at their highs and lows, you’ll understand how he will treat you during your high and low points.

Heed this wisdom and do not become disillusioned, for honorable men will still break your heart. A dishonorable man will break up with you via text, SnapChat (if that still exists), or simply ignore you. But an honorable man will break your heart face-to-face.

Do not despair, my daughter, for as you read this, you may be tempted to believe that honorable men disappeared in the years before you were born. They still exist. You must search to find them, and that may take many years. In your search, though, you will encounter many men without honor. Do not blame them. For they had fathers who didn’t know how to train their sons in the ways in which a man should walk. Many grew up without a male figure to explain what honor and integrity look like. Feel compassion for them, instead. Point them to other men you see acting in honorable ways.

I leave you with this in closing, Adi. When you were born, my heart was yours, and I wanted nothing more than to protect you, kiss your face, and watch you smile. One day, I hope to meet the man who feels the same way.

All my love,

Dad

Most articles on what not to say to your partner circle around avoiding taboo topics and off-limits prodding. While those tips are certainly helpful, there are deeper, more cutting questions that are even more crucial to avoid.

If all you do is steer clear of these 10 questions, your relationship will be dramatically more fulfilling and rewarding than average.

[b]1. “What’s wrong with you? Why are you always doing that?”
[/b]It’s never a good idea to make a negative judgment or a blanket condemnation of your partner. All that does is reinforce the exact negative behaviors you’re trying to change because your judgments incentivize them to isolate from you.

Rather than attacking your partner personally for what you don’t like, share what you do like and how you would feel or do feel when they do those things. You might have to get introspective and creative to find out why certain things are so important to you.

For example, let’s say they often leave the cap off the toothpaste. Instead of saying, “What’s wrong with you? Why are you always doing that?” you can say, “Honey, can you please put the cap on the toothpaste more often? It might seem silly, but when you do that, I really feel cared for by you.”

Then, the next time they put the cap on, feel that joy of being cared for, and let it make you happy. Go give them a big hug and kiss. Tell them you know it’s a small thing, but you really appreciate it. When your partner feels appreciated by you, they’ll want to do more and more of what you like to continue the positive vibe between you.

[b]2. “Why do you never do what I want?”
[/b]Blaming is not sexy. It creates an atmosphere of hopelessness, resentment, distrust, and separation in the relationship. Not only is it harmful, it’s ineffective as well.

When have you ever seen someone flip their life and personality around because they felt blamed enough? People sometimes change because they feel bad enough and hit rock bottom. In those moments, they find the inner strength to carry them into a new way of life. Don’t be that catalyst that gets your partner to rock bottom, though. There are other ways to create the same effect that are much more reliable and constructive.

Whenever you’re upset at your partner, focus first on taking responsibility for your own feelings, thoughts, and actions. Take ownership of your part of the equation. Instead of dwelling on what you think your partner is doing wrong, shift your focus to how you might be able to improve the relationship.

Once you’re more solution-minded and you’re clearer on the situation as a whole, approach your partner with open, transparent communication and a collaborative stance so you can find a solution that makes both of you happier.

[b]3. & 4. “Why are you so (annoying, lazy, ungrateful, selfish)?” / “Why aren’t you (better, kinder)?”
[/b]When you’re upset, don’t personally attack your partner. It’s just not helpful. You’re with them, the whole package of them. They’re with you, the whole package of you. If you’re together, then you’re a match on some level.

If you want the quality of your relationship to improve, it starts with how you communicate. Dr. Marshall Rosenberg, author of Nonviolent Communication, says that the most helpful way to communicate with your partner is to honestly express and empathetically receive.

Honestly express how you are and what you would like, without using blame, criticism, or demands. When your partner speaks to you, focus on empathetically receiving how they are and what they would like, without hearing blame, criticism, or demands.

This kind of communication is based on openness, honesty, and understanding, which nurtures the relationship. You can learn more about Rosenberg’s simple four-step Nonviolent Communication process here.

[b]5. “Why can’t you just relax?”
[/b]If your partner is in a fight or flight response, they can’t “just relax” on command. If they’re stressed, something is bothering them. Otherwise, they would be relaxed.

There are a myriad of reasons why your partner might be upset, and even though you would naturally want them to be more relaxed, saying that curtly in the heat of the moment is unlikely to get the result you’re going for.

The best way to help them become more relaxed is to seek to understand. You must first understand something before you can go about changing it. Sometimes understanding is all that is needed.

When you are open, curious, and gentle about what is actually going on for your partner, that is a clarifying and helpful step. Once you are talking together in that kind of supportive atmosphere, you’re setting yourselves up for success.

[b]6. “Are you breaking up with me?”
[/b]Using this question in everyday conflicts is an unnecessary and emotionally destructive threat.

As Eben Pagan & Annie Lalla said at Burning Man’s Camp Mystic in 2014, oftentimes people ask that question not to gain genuine clarity but to escalate the conversation by introducing the threatening possibility of break-up themselves.

if you actually want to break up right there, then you can say so and follow through with it. Otherwise, ask genuinely clarifying questions of the other person. If it feels too heated right then, take a step back, reevaluate as objectively as possible, and discuss the matter again once the atmosphere has calmed.

If you really are afraid your partner is breaking up with you, you can say simply, “Honey, I’m afraid. Let’s take a few minutes and come back once I’ve calmed down.” Once you’ve calmed down a bit, you can ask, “What are you feeling right now?” or, “What do you want?” or, “What do you want in our relationship?”

When you ask those questions in a non-threatening way, you give your partner space to think constructively about the answers. The one time, if ever, that your partner actually does want to break up, they will say so. Otherwise, asking these clarifying questions openly and gently strengthens the intimacy in your relationship.

[b]7. “Are you sure you want to be with me?”
[/b]While it is important for the health of a relationship for each partner to praise and cherish the other, each partner is responsible for their own basic level of self-respect and self-confidence.

As relationship coach Jordan Gray says, expressing interest in your partner as a person and on a day-to-day level and affirming that you find them attractive is key to a satisfying relationship.

At the same time, Dr. David Scharch, author of Passionate Marriage, points out that it’s hard to be sexually attracted to someone you constantly have to prop up. If you need constant validation on a basic level, then before long, it will be difficult for your partner to admire or respect you.

The solution is to make sure that you would want to be with you, and that you already enjoy being yourself. When you feel great in your own skin, it’s much easier for you to have the clarity of mind to actually assess whether the person you’re with is a great match for you and genuinely appreciates you.

[b]8. & 9. “Can I trust you?” / “Are you telling me the truth?”
[/b]Asking this question point blank is never a good idea. For one thing, it puts your partner on the defensive immediately. For another thing, you can never trust the answer you’re getting.

This is because if you’re not fundamentally sure you can trust someone, then asking them whether or not you can trust them will only drive you crazier.

When it comes to people getting jealous and possessive in relationships, Mark Manson, author of Models, says, “It’s really simple: either you trust your partner or you don’t. If you trust your partner, then shut your mouth. If you don’t trust your partner, do everyone a favor and dump them.

“‘Well, what if I trust them but they lie to me anyway?’ Then trust that one day you will find out. Dishonest people cannot hide their dishonesty forever. Eventually it will surface and be obvious. And on that day, dump them.” Kind of harsh, but definitely straightforward.

[b]10. “If you knew it would make me uncomfortable, then why did you bring it up?”
[/b]A quality relationship does not settle for the pseudo-comfort of avoidance. It thrives on the genuine comfort of two people who are transparent with each other and themselves for the purpose of deepening intimacy and fulfillment.

In order for your relationship to thrive, you have to be willing to talk about difficult and uncomfortable things and comfort yourself when the topic at hand feels confronting.

As Dr. David Schnarch suggests, in order for an emotionally committed relationship to be fulfilling, we have to be willing and able to soothe ourselves independently within the relationship.

It is challenging to self-soothe and self-confront at once. That is for sure. It means coming to terms with the parts of us that we may not like to see so much, like our own fears, anxieties, and insecurities.

It is as rewarding as it is difficult, though.

Taking a look at what’s really going on inside with openness and curiosity means an ever-improving relationship and an ever-improving life.

you could have just asked for the full story. Try to stay Positive

This story is true, and I am asking you for help on what to do. It is very heartbreaking just to read, so you cannot imagine what it is like to live it. I am 15 years old,and in high school. I met a BEAUTIFUL girl, Katie. We became really good friends. The first time she hurt me was when we had planned to go hang out at the pool. She was grounded but she promised as soon as she got ungrounded we would go to the pool. I anxiously waited until she was ungrounded, when I texted her to meet me at the pool and she just ignored my texts for the whole day. I looked on facebook and she had posted pictures of her with some other guy she went to the pool with. I was really upset. But she felt so bad and I know she did, and she apologized. I said it was okay. And by the way, I haven't had a girlfriend, or even talked to a girl in 3 years.. So you can't even imagine how nicely I treated Katie. I was always there for her when she was upset, and I always helped her with her problems. Now after about 3 months of talking, I asked her out. She said she wanted to get to know each other better. Which is understandable. But then, a few weeks later, she started dating some one a day after meeting them.

Continue reading on
www.highghost.com

I want to tell you the story of our parting.

Not about the parting when you are abandoned and you think nothing else matters anymore.

I am living in another country for quite some time now, but home is always where the heart is, so every summer I pack my bags and leave for my favorite country. Last summer was different.

I felt grown-up and wise, attractive and a woman who left the child years behind. I wasn’t ready to allow yet another love disappointment and unrequited love, as I did last summer. I decided to fill up my vacation with friends, parties, discos and short flirts. But I was only thinking I could do that. To my surprise I met the love of my life. Mutual friends introduced us.

For a long time I was wondering what to do, shall I love him, shall I try to avoid him and get rid of my thoughts about him...? I like him, Ch. won my trust. Made me feel like a princess. I fell madly in love.

I felt him so close. We spent all our time together. We went to bars, parties, discos….We shared everything, we talked of life, we laughed….I felt he was not only my boyfriend but my closest friend as well! He was so tender, we had amazing nights together, passionate kisses, he gave me a love so crystal clear that only time could stand in its way.

Before I knew it summer was over and I had to go back.

The last couple of days I felt confused and insecure.

I didn’t know what would happen with my life. I didn’t know what to say, or to plan…..It was the same with Ch.

Our last two dinners were silent.

We sat and watched and sighed. I tried to start a conversation, to seem light-hearted, as I usually am, but it wasn’t possible.

I wanted to tell him how much I loved him, wanted to say that I can’t let this end so suddenly, but I lacked the words.

Something wouldn’t let me say it. I was asking myself "What if he abandons meа"?

During my last night with him I cried a lot. We spent it alone. It was all so romantic. He gave me a gift that touched me and I knew he cared about me.

And then he said: "My dear, I will be waiting for you"! Suddenly all my being lit up and shined. He walked with me to the entrance.

My heart ached when I turned and saw the man of my dreams leave.

But I knew we will be together again next summer.

This was not parting as the one everyone has felt at least once in life; the one that hurts so much because you realize you are not loved any more. This was a parting that might even wake up an even bigger love. Some of you might say that relationships like these are impossible, because it is hard to wait and love someone and be so far away. I thought the same thing before it all happened to me.

I spoke to Ch. Today. Within two weeks we will be together again!

He sounded so happy!

I love you, sweetheart

www.highghost.com

If this is my last night with you, hold me like I’m more than just your friend Give me a memory that I can use, take me by the hand while we do what lovers do It matters how this ends ’cause what if I never love again? – Adele, 25

It was the night we silently ended something we never truly had. It was excruciatingly beautiful and painful.

We started the night drinking cheap liquor in a local hippie bar in town. Just the two of us, surprisingly mindless of the people around. We talked, held hands, laughed. We talked like it was our first date, eager to savor every bit of information about each other. Some of them were things we already knew, while some were new.

I remembered looking at you intently while you told me about the first song you learned to play on guitar and mentally noted that I should listen to it more because it means something to you. It was the same night you told me about your first love who was also your first girlfriend from high school. You told me her name and you still think about her at times. I could tell that sometimes, you wish I was her.

So I sat there, listening and lovingly memorizing every detail of your face, wishing I was her.

And we drank until we were drunk enough to ignore, for the last time, the harsh reality that we were not made for each other. We drank until we were drunk enough to let each other go and as the alcohol thinned our blood, so did our time.

Our time was coming to an end and the palpable, harrowing air of goodbye was sucking the life out of my soul and I desperately wished for time to stop, for the world to freeze and for once be in my favor so I can hug you and hold you, and maybe never let you go.

I WOULD HAVE SET A BIT OF ME ON FIRE, ENOUGH FOR A SPARK, JUST TO KEEP US BURNING FOR A LITTLE WHILE.

But maybe if I did, it still wouldn’t be enough because in our universe, our stars never align and we’re just an inconsequential flicker in its imposing bonfire.

That flicker, the solitary light of my life, was put off.

And so came the night, came the end. You sent me off. We said no goodbyes, just see you later but who were we fooling. One last hug and I turned around, fighting so hard with myself so as not to look back because I knew you were watching me go, possibly waiting for me to look back. To go back.

That was always the case. Every time I leave, you would just always watch me go and wait for me to come back without doing anything. You were too complacent and it was making me feel unsafe.

That was why someone had to put the flicker off even if that someone had to be me.

That was why I never looked back, why I never went back.

To see the ashes of our flicker turn gray would be too much.

www.highghost.com

By: Katie Mather

1. He texts you back.
Honestly, it’s depressing that this is a qualification of a high-quality man, instead of the requirement of basic and polite human interaction like it should be. Seriously, the standards are so low and Jeff still can’t fucking meet them.

2. But he won’t text you between 1am and 4am.
You won’t be rising from your blissful 7-8 hour-long slumber to that dreaded “you up?” text that awakens pure fury and rage within the inner depths of your soul. Why the Bleep would you be up at 2:56am on a Wednesday, Sean?

3. He’s not afraid to show affection in public.
But not the way Dan was, where he’d make out with you at bars and it was so uncomfortable because, like, your friends were there and his friends were there and strangers were looking at you and the bartender already asked you to knock it off. High-Quality Guy (HQG) will be down to hold your hand though.

4. He’ll comfort you when you’re upset, instead of dismissing you.
Ok, but like, what assholes are you dating that don’t do this naturally? Not doing this isn’t even a “low-quality guy” trait—it doesn’t even warrant using the word “quality” in the same sentence. Casey says he feels “uncomfortable” around tears? What the hell does that even mean?

5. He’s earned your trust and commitment.
When Kevin says something like “~*~you can trust me~*~” two dates in and after he’s asked you to tell him something super personal that you don’t really want to tell him just yet because you, like, don’t even know his middle name or how old he is specifically (mid-20s?!?), that is not him welcoming you into his Trust Circle; it’s him being kinda a dick. HQG is gonna wait until you naturally and comfortably want to tell him whatever it is.

6. He introduces you to his friends.
Not talking about that time you showed up at Jimmy’s place to pick up something and his friends happened to be in his living room playing Xbox, only to keep their eyes glued to the screen and shout “WHO DAT?” when Jimmy answers your knock, and then Jimmy is all “oh it’s just a friend” or “oh this is the girl I mentioned once when you asked me who I was texting” and then he makes you leave so he can continue his grownup man playdate. No, this is a pre-planned meeting—one where HQG shows up with you and his friends all take turns shaking your hand.

7. He puts you to bed when you’re drunk.
This is the defining factor on which you should base whether you could spend the rest of your life with this man.

www.highghost.com

Our ‘forever people’ are, by definition, the ones we’re meant to never say goodbye to.

They’re our ride-or-dies. Our partners in crime. Our come-hell-or-high water. Our lobsters.

They’re the people who feel like home, in a way that even we do not always understand. They take care of us at our worst. They applaud us at our best. They’re the people we picture by our sides in ten, twenty, fifty years, through every challenge and obstacle.

They’re our forever people. The whole point is that they’re not supposed to go anywhere.
But here’s the thing about life: It works in funny and sometimes unfortunate ways.

The people who could have been there forever are sometimes the very ones we have to let go – often for reasons that are entirely outside of our control.

And so what do we do, when we find ourselves confronted with this uncomfortable reality?

How do you say goodbye to the person you thought you’d have at your side for the rest of your life?

How do you let forever go?

Maybe this is how:

You start by not downplaying their significance.
You start by accepting that they mattered, in a way nobody before them ever did, and it’s possible that nobody after them ever will.

You start by accepting that you met your forever person when the timing was wrong or the stars weren’t aligned or in a Universe where the two of you just couldn’t make it to the finish line. You start by letting it sink in that maybe they were ‘The One,’ whether that’s a term that you believe in or not.

Because in some capacity, they were. They were the one person your heart felt capable of loving forever. And that means something.

It’s always going to.

But love isn’t always enough to keep two people together. So when you have to say goodbye to your forever person, be thankful.

Be thankful that you met them. Be thankful that you got the chance to know them. Be thankful that you got to feel the way you felt about them in your lifetime. Because some people never do.

Some people go their whole lives never knowing what it feels like to be with their forever person.
They may fall in love several times. They may even get married. They may live out their ‘forever’ alongside someone whom they figure is the best reasonable fit for them. But they may never have the true connection, the true devotion, the true intimacy that comes from meeting that one person, who you just know is the one you’re supposed to stay with.

Some people never meet their forever people at all. But you met yours.

And if that’s not something to be grateful for, I don’t know what is.

And so when you have to let go of your forever person, do so calmly. Do so with gratitude. Do so with the understanding that we don’t get to keep all the gifts that we are given in life. Some things we’re just lent. And sometimes we have to let that be enough.

Because if you can be a big enough person to appreciate what you have while you have it, and to let it go with gratitude when it’s time to do so, you gain the respect of the one person who you’re never going to have to let go of: yourself.

Because the truth is, you only ever get one guaranteed forever person in life: And that person is you.
You’re the one who’s going to be there through every twist and turn, every bump in the road, every beautiful beginning and painful ending. And when you’re facing the latter, it’s your forever person who’s going to get you through it. It’s you who’s going to figure out how to keep yourself moving forward when everything seems to be crumbling apart.

And so when you have to let the person you wanted to spend forever with go, don’t let the person you are going to spend forever with fall to pieces. Care for that person. Nourish that person. Be there for that person.

And above all else, be proud of that person.

Be proud that you didn’t hold back on the thing that matters most. Be proud that you gave it all you had, when you could have only gone in halfway. Be proud that you risked something as huge and important as your heart, even if it didn’t end up lasting forever.

Be proud that you now know yourself to be someone who is capable of loving someone else forever.

Because you, of all people, know how incredibly and intoxicatingly rare people like that happen to be.

www.highghost.com

1. YOU KEEP TALKING ABOUT HIM TO YOUR FRIENDS.

You have the best friends in the world, which means they love you and have your back at all times. Over the years, they’ve saved you from many a jerk. They’ve picked you up, cleaned you off, and kept you moving forward. And not only are you unafraid of talking to them about this new guy, you can’t shut the hell up about him!


2. YOU KEEP TALKING ABOUT HIM TO YOUR FAMILY.

The only people on Earth who’ve had your back longer than your friends are your family. Dad, especially, is ultra-protective of his Little Princess and has sent many a bad boy running. Knowing all this, you blab about him without hesitation because you know they’ll be as charmed by him as you are.

3. ALL YOUR FRIENDS AND FAMILY MEMBERS LOVE LOVE LOVE HIM.

Maybe the main reason is because he remembers all their names and tries to make them as happy as he makes you. To the last person, all your loved ones tell you that you’d be insane not hold onto him forever.

4. HE REMEMBERS WHAT YOU LIKE AND DON’T LIKE.

The reason he sent you a surprise basket of butterscotch candies was because you once confessed to him that it was your favorite flavor. And when he orders surprise takeout, he never orders the beef curry because you told him you don’t eat red meat. It’s chicken curry all the way—extra-spicy, just the way you told him that you like it. He never mocks or questions your tastes—he only caters to them, and that’s a keeper right there!


5. HE TEXTS AND CALLS YOU JUST ENOUGH—BUT NOT TOO MUCH.

He’s always the last to text you at night and the first to text you in the morning. But even if you sleep with your head only six inches away from your phone, he never wakes you up in the middle of the night with 200 desperate drunk texts.

6. HE’S CONFIDENT BUT NOT ARROGANT.

There’s no bigger turnoff than a whiny man-child who makes you feel like you’re mothering him. He takes care of business, does not suffer from low self-esteem, gets the job done under budget and ahead of schedule, and he pays all his own bills. But even though he’s the handsomest and sexiest male specimen you’ve ever seen, he’s genuinely flattered when you tell him so.

7. HE NOT ONLY PURSUES HIS OWN DREAMS, HE HELPS YOU REALIZE YOURS.

He has a five-year plan for improving his life and his finances. He’s doing far better than he was five years ago, and you don’t have a single doubt that he’ll reach every dream he sets his mind on achieving. But he is also highly emotionally involved in helping you realize your own dreams. Even when you are depressed or despondent and ready to give up, he offers advice, encouragement, and hugs so strong, you have to catch your breath. In short, he is not intimidated by your success, because he only wants the best for you.

8. HE HANDLES YOU AT YOUR WORST…


…and that’s why, like Marilyn Monroe said, he gets to see you at your best!

9. YOU DON’T FEEL AS IF YOU HAVE TO HIDE ANYTHING FROM HIM.

The most important thing about relationships is the ability to “be yourself” around your significant other. When I said he’s seen you at your worst, that not only means your mood swings—it means what you look like with no makeup in the morning. You’ve told him secrets you’ve been afraid to tell your closest friends, and you never felt judged, only accepted and understood. The reason you feel loved by him is because he’s seen you from every angle and still gives you a standing ovation every time.

10. WHEN PLANNING ACTIVITIES, HE ASKS FOR YOUR INPUT.

A lot of men suffer from inferiority complexes, which is why they always need to be “in charge.” But unlike all those jerks, he doesn’t make everything about him all the time. If you just want to stay home with him on a Friday night and play Scrabble, he’ll forsake seeing his favorite band because you’re his favorite person.

11. HE’S NOT THREATENED BY YOUR EXES.

Because he cherishes and admires you, he knows there’s a very good reason they’re your exes.

12. YOU FEEL LIKE YOU’VE KNOWN HIM MUCH LONGER THAN YOU HAVE.

Even the first time you started talking with him, it felt like you were reconnecting with an old friend. There’s a term for a guy like that—it’s called a “soul mate.” Listen, your friends and family are right—you’d be insane to let go of this guy. He is “the one,” and in your lifetime you only get one of them.

www.highghost.com

People who fall in love with a narcissist sometimes look to take care of others more than they look to take care of themselves. Anyone who has ever had a relationship with a narcissist knows how easy it is to become the person giving and giving and giving without end. We pay attention to what our narcissist partner needs because we love him or her, but often when we do this we become accomplices to increased levels of selfishness.

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Narcissists seem to take advantage to the people who “feed” and nurture them regularly. Many people believe that if they continue on a path of endless giving, eventually their partner will come to their senses and respond in kind. But this approach doesn’t work with narcissists. So says Steven Carter and Julia Sokol in their book Help! I’m In Love With A Narcissist. If you are in love with a narcissist, Carter and Sokol have the following recommendations:

1. Ask yourself: Why are you so quick to take care of the other person’s needs?

Why are you so quick to assume all of the responsibility in the relationship? Do you remember when you started behaving this way? Your intense desire to please people and make them happy may be one of your nicest and most admirable traits, but toxic narcissists seem to have an uncanny ability to sense people who have this trait and to take advantage of them.

2. Examine your fears about what you think might happen if you stopped trying to make your partner happy.

What do you think will happen if you stop trying to please your partner? Why are you so quick to find excuses and reasons for a narcissistic partner’s behavior? Do you ever give your partner a chance to do as much as you do to make the relationship work? If you stop working so hard at your relationship, are you afraid it will disappear? The problem with being in a relationship with a narcissist is that they have a tough time with empathy, they aren’t inclined to be sympathetic to your needs, wants and fears and they don’t bother to give back to you something equivalent to what you give. Pretty empty feeling, isn’t it?

3. Examine how much time and energy you spend doing things that make your life happier and more satisfying.

Do you spend as much time worrying about your needs as you do about your partner’s? Have you ever taken money that you needed for yourself to buy your partner a lavish and unnecessary gift? Do you regularly deprive yourself to “spoil” your partner? How often do you put your needs last? How often to you inconvenience yourself in order keep your partner from suffering any inconvenience? The most healing thing you can do for yourself (and often your relationship as well) is to put at least as much energy and time into thinking about your own well-being as you do about your partner’s.

4. How about your friends and family? Are you surrounded by people who you are trying to please or placate?

When you meet somebody who doesn’t demand as much as you and is capable of having a more equal relationship, do you feel lost and without a clearly defined role? Do you have friends and family who regularly take advantage of you or who demand most of the attention?

Everyone knows that relationships are about two people. If you believe that you can build a good relationship organized around one person (your partner) with the other (you) doing most of the work, the problem largely becomes your refusal to see the relationship for what it is and acknowledge the limits of your partner’s love. You can also be more in touch with your own tendencies to allow someone to take over your life.

www.highghost.com

Denial.

Denial is the single biggest factor holding men back from tackling pornography use in their lives.

I remember when I used to sway between accepting that I couldn’t quit watching porn and feeling that I had it under control.

Read more...

Let me make one thing clear:

For most guys, eliminating masturbation and pornography from your life will be the ONLY catalyst for your success in life. By success, I mean- whatever you have wanted in life that has been eluding you:

More sex.

A relationship.

A better work ethic.

More money.

Starting a business.

Performing better at school.

Building your ideal physique.

Many guys, after quitting porn will never need “motivation” in the form of books, blogposts, youtube videos, and so on.

The very process of overcoming porn use permanently will forge you into the man that you need to be.

Beating porn becomes the crucible in which your manhood is forged.

I’m going to make it very simple for you today:

If you’re not sure whether pornography is a problem for you, if you’re in denial, ask yourself these 15 questions:

1. Do you ever spend more time than you had planned looking at porn?
2. Do you spend more time looking at porn than you did when you first started looking at it?
3. Has your job or school work suffered as a result of of your pornography use?
4. Have any of your relationships with family and/or friends gotten worse since this habit started?
4. Have you noticed any changes in your mood or self confidence since you began looking at pornography?
6. Do you have difficulty concentrating on things you need to because you have thoughts and fantasies about pornography on your mind?
7. Do you find it hard to stop looking at porn even when you really want to?
8. Has anyone ever forced you to view pornography?
9. Have you ever been sexually abused and find yourself turning to porn as a way to make sense of your trauma?
10. Do you spend more time alone than you used to?
11. Have you ever lied to cover up your porn use?
12. Do you regularly turn to porn for information about sex?
13. Have you ever stolen money or used someone else’s credit card to purchase pornography?
14. Do you have increased difficulty interacting with members of the opposite sex?
15. Do you find yourself aroused by sexual images involving violence,animals or children?

If you answered YES to ANY of the 15 questions, then you have a problem with pornography which requires help.

If you are in your teens, your biggest problem with viewing porn is that your sexual health will be compromised. You risk suffering from serious porn induced erectile dysfunction.

If you are in your twenties, this is the decade that moulds you into a certain type of person. Your twenties are the most important decade of your life. Porn will affect every area of your life and eventually, by the time you hit your 30’s homeostasis will kick in and it will be too late. Basically, your personality is permanently set by the time you are 30 – your destiny is more or less written in stone. Do not let porn influence that.

If you are in your thirties and beyond, you are going to need take your shit to the next level. Your brain is wired for good. You will most likely need serious coaching, therapy or a combination of both to give up porn.

Don’t get me wrong—if you are absolutely sick and tired of pornography in your life and committed to get rid of it for good, The Quit Porn Program will get you there—but ONLY is you are committed to action.

So there you go guys – 15 questions to ask yourself today to figure out if you have a problem with porn.

No more denial. No more excuses. Beat your porn habit today.

www.highghost.com

Cutehector4u:
Urm, is it necessary? I dnt follow protocols wen chykn jor....

Bad Boy

Mprex:

why?

should the wife be awake while the husband is sleeping..

Mprex:
I book this space for my husband KingTom to come and comment

he should get a new wife..#just saying.

aristocrazzy:
Awww! Is it for naija babes or the babe that guy in the pic is chatting.
Just asking.

babes are babes whether naija, european, asian e.t.c just saying

mrvance:
So odd stuffs...don't get so nice with girls..

yup

I assure you it works.

zleemshaddy:
since its 4 'men only'


#mycharitycomment

i'd love to hear what you have to say.

Post by: www.highghost.com

Being in the game for so long has naturally allowed me to develop a bunch of interesting traits. I didn’t have them when I started, but they are probably the main reason why I am able to get tail on a very consistent basis.
They are incredibly important and should obviously act as your foundation when it comes to scoring chicks, but they go much further than that — shaping you into a well-rounded individual.

1. Perseverance

When I say perseverance, I’m not just referring to pushing that one girl until it turns into a lay. I’m talking about absolute perseverance when it comes to your game.
If you don’t go out and approach women on a regular basis, you’re not trying. You need to be out there approaching chicks at least 20 times a night (unless it works out more quickly). It doesn’t matter if the club only had 10 groups of girls in it, move on. Go somewhere else that same night and persevere there.
If you eventually do get a number, don’t just give up if things seem like they’re turning sour. Push it as much as you can and only stop when you’re just about close to looking desperate. If I would have given up on girls at the very first sign of resistance, I probably wouldn’t have banged half the chicks I did.

2. Resilience

Resilience is key. This is one of the harder skills to develop but it’s absolutely paramount.
It refers to your ability to remain cool, calm and collected without losing your initial confidence. Playing the game is a hard thing to do and many people will try to shut you down. Being resilient is what keeps you alive in the face of adversity.
If you approached a group of chicks and the nasty ones try to talk you down, don’t lash out and don’t get depressed, it will only make things worse. Stay cool, laugh it off and move on.
If you get a cockblocker right in your face trying to bust your game, don’t lash out. Stay cool, laugh it off and move on.
If you get a dude hassling you, telling you these girls are his WOMEN, don’t lash out and don’t get depressed. If you can out-alpha him, then do it, if you can’t, don’t lash out, it will only get you in trouble. Move on to other chicks (it may seem weak, but it isn’t) because it’s much easier to score some other chick than to fight over the same one with Mr. RoidRage.

3. The Ability To Adapt

Being able to adapt to any situation is what keeps your game fresh. You should be able to quickly judge the scenario you find yourself in and adapt accordingly. May it be a dude failing with a chick and quickly jumping in there to profit at his expense, the fact that you know exactly what to say when the chick you were on a date with saw you chatting up another chick, or just doing something else when a date flakes on you.
Also, your ability to adapt should not stop at the scenarios you find yourself in. If you’re a 35-year-old dude that’s not texting right now because you think that calling is the only way to get a girl to see you again, you’re seriously losing out. Being able to adapt to changes in the social norm is absolutely paramount if you want to be a successful player.

4. Getting Good At Something

Getting good at something is the only way you will ever get “something” to work. For example, if you constantly go out to clubs, but are not there yet in terms of success, it doesn’t mean that night game isn’t for you, it just means that you need to get better at it.
Don’t switch to day game just because you think it might work better for you, it won’t. You need to first be good at something, so good until you get bored of it and then…move on to something else.
Keep things simple and don’t over-complicate your life. The more you do one thing, the better you will get at it. Just make sure you don’t use the same lines over and over again, fresh material is always better material.

5. The Ability To Learn From Your Mistakes

This really is a no-brainer, but just in case you aren’t doing it already, I’m going to reiterate its importance. If you aren’t learning from your mistakes, you’re failing at life. It doesn’t matter what it is you’re making mistakes in/with, if you’re not learning from them, you’re doing it wrong.

6. Patience

This was the hardest one for me. I was never patient and am still struggling with it. I’m the kind of guy that wants thing to happen NOW. It doesn’t matter what it is, if I want it, I want it NOW! Unfortunately, that’s hardly the case, especially when it comes to getting good with women.
Without practice, the chances of you scoring on a regular basis are pretty slim. Don’t expect to go out there and hook up within the hour. Heck, don’t even expect to hook up this week. Build yourself up to being patient and when it happens sooner (which it will), success will taste much better.
Waiting for something to happen when you’re anxiously expecting it can become frustrating. A frustrated dude spitting frustrated game is not fun for anyone.
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