Abeg 4gt dat 1 and enyoy yah sef wit dis==>

Chichi: Do you smoke?
Akpos: Yes....
Chichi: How many packs
a day?
Akpos: 3 packs.
Chichi: How much per
pack?
Akpos: N200.
Chichi: And how long
have you been
smoking?
Akpos: For 15 years.
Chichi: So, one pack
costs N200, and you
have
3 packs a day, which
puts your spending each
month at N18,000. In
one year, it would be
N216,000 correct?
Akpos: Correct.
Chichi: If in one year you
spend N216,000 not
accounting for inflation,
the past 15 years
puts your spending at
over N3,000,000
correct?
Akpos: Correct.
Chichi: Do you know that
if you hadn't
smoked, that money
could have been put in a
step-up interest
savings account and
after
accounting for
compound interest for
the
past 15 years, you could
have now easily
bought a brand new
Range Rover HSE Sport?
Akpos: Do you smoke?
Chichi: No.
Akpos: So where's your
Range Rover HSE
Sport then?
Pls join www.facebook.com/4Qakpors

Chichi: Do you smoke?
Akpos: Yes....
Chichi: How many packs
a day?
Akpos: 3 packs.
Chichi: How much per
pack?
Akpos: N200.
Chichi: And how long
have you been
smoking?
Akpos: For 15 years.
Chichi: So, one pack
costs N200, and you
have
3 packs a day, which
puts your spending each
month at N18,000. In
one year, it would be
N216,000 correct?
Akpos: Correct.
Chichi: If in one year you
spend N216,000 not
accounting for inflation,
the past 15 years
puts your spending at
over N3,000,000
correct?
Akpos: Correct.
Chichi: Do you know that
if you hadn't
smoked, that money
could have been put in a
step-up interest
savings account and
after
accounting for
compound interest for
the
past 15 years, you could
have now easily
bought a brand new
Range Rover HSE Sport?
Akpos: Do you smoke?
Chichi: No.
Akpos: So where's your
Range Rover HSE
Sport then?

SEE GOBE: A prostitute
waves
to you from other side
of d road and
shout "CUSTOMER"
during an
"EVANGELISM" what will
you do if you're the
victim? likes and
comment!!

TRY IT AND ANSWER IN
5 SECS.
You'd be amazed at the
different answers.
888888888888388
888888888888888
888888888888888
888888888888888
883888888888888
888888888888888
888888888888888
888888838888888
888888888888888
888888888888388
888888888888888
888888888838888
888888888888888
888388888888888
888888838888838
888888888888883
888888888888888
838888888888888
How many "3" (s) can
you see?

Akpors visited his friend
Eazy.
Eazy called his wife and
asked her to serve
them
drinks.
when the wife was
done with the serving,
she sat
down right opposite
Akpos with
her legs open. Akpors
could not control
himself so he enjoyed
the view. when Eazy
went inside the
house, Eazy's wife said
to
Akpors, "do you like
what you see"?
Akpos said YES. Eazy's
wife said , "you can
have it, but
it will only
cost you N10,000, and
Akpos agreed so they
fixed a time, 12pm the
next day
when the husband Eazy,
will be at
work.
So the next day, Akpors
came over at the
exact time
and they enjoyed
themselves then he
paid
her.
When Eazy came back,
this was what
transpired btw dem;
EAZY: honey was
Akpors here today?
WIFE: [AFRAID] yes
EAZY : at 12pm right ?
WIFE : [ALMOST
FAINTING ] yes
EAZY : OHH, Akpos my
good friend, always
keeping time ...
WIFE : Honey, why do
you ask?
EAZY : he came over to
my office this
morning and
borrowed N10,000 from
me promising to
bring it
back to you at the
house by 12pm, so did
he
bring
it ? The wife
FAINTED!!!!

UNCLE Akpos: Ah! Joba
long time! how re U
doing?
Joba: Am ok tank u. I
came to look for
admission to
realize my dream of
becoming a Doctor! I
hope u can
help?
UNCLE Akpos : o I see,
how was ur O'level?
Joba: Fine O! 2 credits
Sir, Yoruba & Agric.
UNCLE Akpos: Laughing
That is a Good Result
My
Borther!! ! U can still be
a Doctor but a native
Doctor.
Use ur credit in Agric to
look for Herbs & ur
credit in
Yoruba for incantations.

A woman came
out of her house and
saw 3 old men with
long white beards
sitting in her front yard.
She did not recognise
them. She said 'I don't
think I know you, but
you must be hungry.
Please come in and have
something to eat.' 'Is
the man of the house
home?', they asked.
'No', she replied. 'He's
out.' 'Then we cannot
come in', they replied. In
the evening when
her husband came
home, she told him
what
had happened. 'Go tell
them I am home and
invite them in!' The
woman went out and
invited the men in' 'We
do not go into a
House together,' they
replied.. 'Why is that?'
she asked. One of the
old men explained: 'His
name is Wealth,' he said
pointing to one of
his friends, and said
pointing to another one,
'He is Success, and I am
Love.' Then he added,
'Now go in and discuss
with your husband
which one of us you
want in your home.'The
woman went in and told
her husband what
was said. Her husband
was overjoyed.. 'How
nice!!', he said. 'Since
that is the case, let us
invite Wealth. Let him
come and fill our home
with wealth!' His wife
disagreed. 'My dear,
why don't we invite
Success?' Their
daughter-
in-law was listening
from the other corner
of the house. She
jumped in with her own
suggestion: 'Would it not
be better to invite
Love? Our home will
then be filled with love!'
'Let us heed our
daughter-in- law's
advice,'
said the husband to his
wife. 'Go out and
invite Love to be our
guest.' The woman
went
out and asked the 3 old
men, 'Which one of
you is Love? Please
come in and be our
guest.'
Love got up and started
walking toward the
house.. The other 2 also
got up and followed
him..Surprised, the lady
asked Wealth and
Success: 'I only invited
Love, Why are you
coming in?' The old men
replied together: 'If
you had invited Wealth
or Success, the other
two of us would've
stayed out, but since
you
invited Love, wherever
He goes, we go with
him. Wherever there is
Love, there is also
Wealth and Success!!!!!!'
MY WISH FOR YOU... -
Where there is pain, I
wish you peace and
mercy. -Where there is
self-doubting, I wish
you a renewed
confidence in your ability
to
work through it. -Where
there is tiredness, or
exhaustion, I wish you
understanding,
patience, and renewed
strength. -Where there
is fear, I wish you love,
and courage.. A woman came
out of her house and
saw 3 old men with
long white beards
sitting in her front yard.
She did not recognise
them. She said 'I don't
think I know you, but
you must be hungry.
Please come in and have
something to eat.' 'Is
the man of the house
home?', they asked.
'No', she replied. 'He's
out.' 'Then we cannot
come in', they replied. In
the evening when
her husband came
home, she told him
what
had happened. 'Go tell
them I am home and
invite them in!' The
woman went out and
invited the men in' 'We
do not go into a
House together,' they
replied.. 'Why is that?'
she asked. One of the
old men explained: 'His
name is Wealth,' he said
pointing to one of
his friends, and said
pointing to another one,
'He is Success, and I am
Love.' Then he added,
'Now go in and discuss
with your husband
which one of us you
want in your home.'The
woman went in and told
her husband what
was said. Her husband
was overjoyed.. 'How
nice!!', he said. 'Since
that is the case, let us
invite Wealth. Let him
come and fill our home
with wealth!' His wife
disagreed. 'My dear,
why don't we invite
Success?' Their
daughter-
in-law was listening
from the other corner
of the house. She
jumped in with her own
suggestion: 'Would it not
be better to invite
Love? Our home will
then be filled with love!'
'Let us heed our
daughter-in- law's
advice,'
said the husband to his
wife. 'Go out and
invite Love to be our
guest.' The woman
went
out and asked the 3 old
men, 'Which one of
you is Love? Please
come in and be our
guest.'
Love got up and started
walking toward the
house.. The other 2 also
got up and followed
him..Surprised, the lady
asked Wealth and
Success: 'I only invited
Love, Why are you
coming in?' The old men
replied together: 'If
you had invited Wealth
or Success, the other
two of us would've
stayed out, but since
you
invited Love, wherever
He goes, we go with
him. Wherever there is
Love, there is also
Wealth and Success!!!!!!'
MY WISH FOR YOU... -
Where there is pain, I
wish you peace and
mercy. -Where there is
self-doubting, I wish
you a renewed
confidence in your ability
to
work through it. -Where
there is tiredness, or
exhaustion, I wish you
understanding,
patience, and renewed
strength. -Where there
is fear, I wish you love,
and courage.. A woman came
out of her house and
saw 3 old men with
long white beards
sitting in her front yard.
She did not recognise
them. She said 'I don't
think I know you, but
you must be hungry.
Please come in and have
something to eat.' 'Is
the man of the house
home?', they asked.
'No', she replied. 'He's
out.' 'Then we cannot
come in', they replied. In
the evening when
her husband came
home, she told him
what
had happened. 'Go tell
them I am home and
invite them in!' The
woman went out and
invited the men in' 'We
do not go into a
House together,' they
replied.. 'Why is that?'
she asked. One of the
old men explained: 'His
name is Wealth,' he said
pointing to one of
his friends, and said
pointing to another one,
'He is Success, and I am
Love.' Then he added,
'Now go in and discuss
with your husband
which one of us you
want in your home.'The
woman went in and told
her husband what
was said. Her husband
was overjoyed.. 'How
nice!!', he said. 'Since
that is the case, let us
invite Wealth. Let him
come and fill our home
with wealth!' His wife
disagreed. 'My dear,
why don't we invite
Success?' Their
daughter-
in-law was listening
from the other corner
of the house. She
jumped in with her own
suggestion: 'Would it not
be better to invite
Love? Our home will
then be filled with love!'
'Let us heed our
daughter-in- law's
advice,'
said the husband to his
wife. 'Go out and
invite Love to be our
guest.' The woman
went
out and asked the 3 old
men, 'Which one of
you is Love? Please
come in and be our
guest.'
Love got up and started
walking toward the
house.. The other 2 also
got up and followed
him..Surprised, the lady
asked Wealth and
Success: 'I only invited
Love, Why are you
coming in?' The old men
replied together: 'If
you had invited Wealth
or Success, the other
two of us would've
stayed out, but since
you
invited Love, wherever
He goes, we go with
him. Wherever there is
Love, there is also
Wealth and Success!!!!!!'
MY WISH FOR YOU... -
Where there is pain, I
wish you peace and
mercy. -Where there is
self-doubting, I wish
you a renewed
confidence in your ability
to
work through it. -Where
there is tiredness, or
exhaustion, I wish you
understanding,
patience, and renewed
strength. -Where there
is fear, I wish you love,
and courage..

A fat man saw
advertisement
"lose 5kg in a week".
He called & said I
would like to
join!
The lady in charge
said to him
Lady: Ok!
Be ready tomorrow
at
6am.
Next morning, the
fat man gets to the
office and he was
taken to
a room.
He opens the door &
finds a hot
babe with shoes,
underpants &
shirt saying,
"If u catch me u can
sleep with
me!" and the girl
starts
running.
The Man starts
running after her
but
couldn't catch her.
So, during the whole
week
exercise, he tried to
catch her
but
couldn't & lost 5kg.
He then asks for
the 10kg
program.
Next morning at
6am, he opens
the door & saw
even
hotter babe in
bikini saying if u
catch me u can
sleep wit me.
Still he couldn't
catch her.
He lost 10kg that
week.
So, he thought this
program is
awesome!
Lets try 25kg
program.
The lady in charge
said "are you sure?
Its
really tough!!"
"Why not" said the
fat man
Next day at 6am he
opens the
door expecting to
see a
Unclad babe
but finds a Unclad
mad man
saying,
"If I catch u, I will
sleep with u!!"
On seeing this
The man
run
Run
Run
Run
Run
Run
Run
Run
Run
Run
Run
Run
Run
Run
Run
Run
Run
Run
Run
Run and run........
That week, he lost
40kg

AKPOS RIDDLE THAT'LL
KILL YOUR BRAIN!
This is going to make
you so MAD! There are
three words
in the English language
that end in "gry". ONE is
angry
and the other is hungry.
Everyone knows what
the third
ONE means and what it
stands for. Everyone
uses them
every day, and if you
listened very carefully,
I've given
you the third word.
What is it? _______gry?

ALPHABET...
A= ka, B=tu, C=mi,
D= te, E=ku, F=lu, G=
ji, H= ri, I=ki, J=zu,
K= me,L= ta, M= rin,
N= to, O= mo, P=
no, Q= ke, R= shi, S=
ari, T = chi, U= do,
V=ru, W=mei, X= na,
Y= fu, Z= zi. Send
your name in
Japanese
Alphabet...have
some laff=D.

www.facebook.com/4Qakpors ;DALPHABET...
A= ka, B=tu, C=mi,
D= te, E=ku, F=lu, G=
ji, H= ri, I=ki, J=zu,
K= me,L= ta, M= rin,
N= to, O= mo, P=
no, Q= ke, R= shi, S=
ari, T = chi, U= do,
V=ru, W=mei, X= na,
Y= fu, Z= zi. Send
your name in
Japanese
Alphabet...have
some laff=D.

www.facebook.com/4Qakpors

Akpors' father
accompanied him
to his school end of the
year
award party.
As they sat watching
and amidst
great shouts and loud
ovations,
the beneficiaries were
called to
the podium for their
award
presentation.
The following
conversation
ensued:
Announcer: Best
student in
sciences, the winner is
Inem.
Father: (Applause and
eyes Akpors
scornfully) see correct
children!
Announcer: Best
student in
commercial studies, the
winner is
Ajoke.
Father: (Hisses and
eyes Akpors)
see correct children.
Announcer: Best
student in Arts
and the winner is Helen.
Father: (fuming with
anger) See
correct children!!.
And so, all the awards
were
presented without any
going to
Akpors.
At the end of the
event, they left
and went to the car
park but as
his dad made to start
the car, the
engine refused to
respond.
He opened the bonnet
and
touched a few things
but all to no
avail.
Then they resorted to
pushing
and just as they got to
the exit of
the school the rickety
car parked
up.
Exhausted and
profusely
sweating, Akpors
rested on the
gate just as his mates
were
driving off with their
parents in
Hummer jeep, Sequia,
Infinity,
Escalade, Bentley,
Lincoln Nav and
other exotic cars.
All of a sudden, Akpors
burst into
laughter.
His puzzled father
asked,'what's
so funny?'
Amidst teary eyes
Akpors
responded 'SEE CORRECT
FATHERS!'.
www.facebook.com/4Qakpors

Akpors fell into a well
and he
was screaming for help.
His wife Ekaete came
with a
rope to help:
AKPORS: How much did
you
buythe rope?
EKAETTE: NGN 1000.
AKPORS(Still inside the
well
about to drown,
shouted):
What! Return it now
now, go
to papa Ochuko at the
fourth
street he sells it
for NGN 250.
Hurry up before I die
here
oh!

For more like
www.facebook.com/4Qakpors

Akpos went to the
police to report about
his
lost bicycle.
AKPOS: My new bicycle
has been stolen.
POLICE: When did u
notice?
AKPOS: This morning
POLICE: Do you have a
suspect?
AKPOS: Yes,my mum
and dad.
POLICE: why do u
suspect them?
AKPOS: yesterday at
midnight i heard mum
say make
it stand well so I can
seat on it very well
''and
dad
said ''climb up fast
before it falls .and mum
said
''push slowly slowly
dont hurt me.......police
hahaha o
boy na senior bicycle be
that oooo

for more like
www.facebook.com/4Qakpors/154298284754070

or search for

Akpors commedy on www.facebook.com

AFRICAN PROVERBS
THAT WILL CRACK YOUR
RIBS
1. When a man is stung
by a bee, he
does not destroy all
beehives (Kenya)
2. The man who marries
a beautiful
woman, and the farmer
who grows corn by the
roadside have the same
problem (Ethiopia)
3. A short man is not a
boy (Nigeria)
4. No matter how hot
your anger is, it cannot
cook yams (Nigeria)
5. It requires a lot of
carefullness to
kill the fly that perches
on the scrotum (Ghana)
6. If the throat can
grant passage to
a knife, the anus should
wonder how to expel it
(Seychelles)
7. The frown on the
face of the goat
will not stop it from
being taken to the
market (Nigeria) 8. An
old lady feels uneasy
when dry
bones are mentioned in
a proverb (Ghana)
9. The same sun that
melts the wax,
hardens the clay (Niger)
10. If you don't know
where you are
going, any road will take
you there (Uganda)
11. There is no virgin in a
maternity
ward (Cameroon)
12. A child can play with
its mother's
breasts, but not its
father's testicles
(Guinea)
13. He who goes to
sleep with an
itching anus wakes up
with smelly fingers
(Nigeria)
ADD URS AND WHICH
ONE IS YOUR
FAVOURITE?

Like www.facebook.com/4Qakpors for more jokes

keep it up nija