What if i told you he has been having unprotected sex with other girls while you were dating, but you just didn't find out.

Like you said,
You've broken up before, but whenever he comes around you just lose your senses .
That's the problem,
You went back to an ex.
It's never goes well from there.
And to why you feel hurt,
It's just your false self(ego) being bruised.
In relationships some of us build an image of our self worth around our partners love.
Like we use our partners actions and words to validate our self worth.

So when we find out they do something, that is in contradiction with that our idea of self ,
We feel cheated and betrayed.
Your Ex cheated on you , it's his sin , his problem, it has nothing to do with you.

If you think it's best you walkway or forgive, that's on you.

But pls never feel because a man said he loves you and would always want to have you in his life, doesn't mean he won't bleep when konji comes.


Like people said earlier, multiple sexual partners is as a result of sexual indiscipline !!
A man would sincerely love you but if he lacks discipline he can bleep another lady and it's nothing personal.

You're already seeing it as mental problem, because deep down you know he didn't do it to hurt you.
Just his weakness.
So breakup or keep enduring.
Sorry

Bad girl , Bad boy, Good girl and good boy are just labels we put on people..

The person you think is a bad girl might just be daring and adventurous, but our olodo society might call such people bad. It's just a tag , don't let name decieve you.

That good girl you're thinking of , might just be a homely , shy and churchy girl.

All these traits don't make any one bad or good they're just different characters.

Good or bad is in the heart.
The more selfish a person is , the more likely vhe or she would do wicked things.

Secondly,
You need to remember life is not the same for all of us,
That girl did this and is enjoying life, doesn't mean you would do it and enjoy life too.

God would bless everyone according to his wisdom and time.

Don't envy people or compare, God sees the heart , me and you don't.

Thirdly.
You are not for everyone and everyone is not for you.
Even if you try to be a bad girl, the same guy that you think Is confused and always pick bad girls, would still ignore you.

You can't be for everyone !!!
It doesn't work like that.
Jesus Christ wasn't even accepted in his home town.
His own people asked for him to be crucified.

It's never personal, but everyone is not for you. And even if you do surgery to look like them , or change your name to theirs, they won't still accept you.

Just love yourself and be confident I yourself.
Don't let social media or Tv fool you.


Let me say this again,
A quiet person doesn't make them good.
A shy person doesn't mean a good person.
An emotional or cry baby is not always a good person.

Those are just traits, so don't mistake them for good and bad.
We know the personality types, sanguine, melancholy, phlegmatic and choleric.
None is good not is bad.
It's what people decides to do.


Lastly,
The grass always seem greener on the other side.
Humans are naturally ungrateful, and never know the value of what they have until they Lose it.

They're many people who think bad people are having life easy, but they feel cheated , being ungrateful for the peace and blessings they enjoy.
Like my role model , J Cole said.

There's no such thing as a life thats better than yours.

They would always be someone richer than you, finer than you, more talented than you.
Like your latest would always be someone outdated, your choice would be someone Godforbid.
But you would never be happy untill you learn to love yours.



So love yourself and the things you have and believe better days are surely ahead.
If you believe what you're doing Is right , and you feel it's something that doesn't compromise your peace , please keep at it

Don't let labels decieve you or make you question your beliefs.

Stay true to yourself.

I'm stuck on this story.
Omo, God just love this OY.

Imagine if them no go asaba do science, them for no dey again.

Oyin I thank God for your life, you were kept alive for a good reason

Lol.
Yes I come off very cold.

I'll always try to stay logical and practical.
Many people don't like how I communicate, because it seems mean and cold.
Contrary to all that, I know only the truth can set you free, so instead of saying nice things to make you feel better, I'll tell you the truth you hate to admit.
Not trying to spite you, but only expressing my practical way of loving you

Badadvisor:

Omo you go wicked for real life o
Person like you no go even send your junior siblings.

You just sounded like my elder bro. Damn.

I also learnt the hard way .
Thanks

SoapQueen:


This is the best comment.

One thing I learnt albeit late is that;

✓ I cannot babysit an adult's brain.

✓ I should never be caught up in the middle of someone's highs and lows. Why? Because I'm not a therapist and I have my own issues.

✓ Love and relationships should not be all about long suffering, stressful episodes, and whatnots. I find it worrisome that many of us women feel like we must suffer and go through stress first before love comes our way. There's a place called "Healthy" and "Unproblematic." Everyone should strive for that.

Las las, dem no dey give award for who suffer pass.

Op, follow your heart.

But why did you still decide to date him after everything.
Now you've seen the bloody red flags and you're still confused .

My dear , you're not a therapist, you're not Jesus Christ, you can't save him.

The only way to help him is to tell him the consequences of his addiction and report it to necessary authorities.
(Parents, church leaders, even the government )
From what you've typed , you're already on the road to becoming his co addict.

The person that unconsciously motivates him to use tramadol.

Stop trying to control his life,
Have no reaction to his addictions, if he takes it, he's an adult, he knows what he's doing, if he doesn't take it, he also knows what he's doing.
Quit trying to save people, you can't.

The more you try to exercise control over him, the more he continues the addiction to keep you dedicated to him
.

He unconsciously knows that his addiction, makes you more closer to him
Like you feel he needs you now than never, so you would be more caring, loving and supportive now.
Which enables the addiction


The best thing you can do, is not to give the addiction any attention,
If you want to help him, report him to the agency in charge of drug abuse, involve his parents and religious leader.
Keeping and addiction a secret, makes it more powerful.

The more you tell people about your addiction, the more others are aware of your addiction, the more control the addict would have over it.

So he needs to stop hiding that part of his life and publicly tell his loved ones.


I want to advise you but then again isn't it futile to advise someone in love.

So do as you please, may God see you through

This is a nice write up.
Some truths in it.

Yet my problem with this type of talk is that, it fails to practically provide a basic image of this type of men.

The description of a Masculine man is so theoretical.
We can all claim to be learned and feign understanding of the word masculine.
But when it's right in our faces, we no longer say masculine, we replace it with adjectives like redpiller, stingy, boring, detached, aggressive, etc.

Not trying to rubbish the article, but to say , there's more to relationship dynamics than masculinity and femininity.

A masculine man would have a problem being with a lady that's less feminine, regardless of the love they claim exist between them.

I personally believe we have both masculine and feminine energy as an individual.
We use this energy as the needs arises.

And most times in relationships we switch roles unconsciously, a guy can go from being the man to being the woman , and for balance to be maintained, the lady assumes the man roles .
And as time goes by, it begins to hurt and we feel cheated and betrayed.

Which brings about resentment.

If you pay attention closely to the dynamics, you'd see it takes two to tangle.

A man could be operating in his masculine energy and his lady would try to emasculate him,or ask him to be more feminine.
If the man is not careful, he would assume the role and in the long run the lady would become frustrated with him.

Yet he bent to her demands , but it won't make her happy.

Once again it's a good article, but we need to be practical in Talkin about this.
Masculine man and a masculine woman would clash !!!!

Now this is where a lot of guys fall into the trap, because of feelings or to make peace reign, they give up their masculine roles to assume a feminine one so that the relationship can continue ..
Lol



I hope you get

Oy , how do you feel while narrating your life story.

Just reading it , I know how it makes me feel, talkless of you that experienced it all and still has the courage to share with the world..
Thank you

Christianity Is just a title .
Doesn't make anyone special .

Fornication can't stop because the word already exists.
If we say man and woman don't need to marry before they bleep.
Then there would have been no such thing as fornication.

Sex between adults is not wrong Or evil
Overindulgence is, pleasure over humanity is evil.
Making sexual urge a priority over your fellow human being is evil.

That's what sin is .
Selfishness is sin.
Trying to please yourself without considering the harm It would cause your neighbor is the sin.


In the earlier years, fornication didn't seem rampant , yet people still had plenty sex but it wasn't fornication.

Because most people married by age 20
Most men married more than 2 wives and it was not a sin or crime.


But the present Time is very different.


I'm not advocating for fornication,
I'm only trying to show how civilization has gone backwards and how it alters natural process of life.

Back then a 20 year old boy would have bleeped.
Still the same now !!

The only difference Is that the woman would be stuck with him for life and no other man would want her.
Unlike now that we bleep and pass to the next unfortunate fellow.


Back then, you consider others, you won't bleep someone you won't marry !!
Let me rephrase, you can only bleep the person you're marrying or have married.
Unlike now that anything goes, no one cares for his brother.


A very selfish generation

Bro take easy on yourself.

You may decide to learn a skill because of the money you hope to earn from it
But it's all assumptions, there's a likelihood you'd learn the skill and still be struggling
But still learn all you can learn now!!

Read books about Wealth creation, it would expose you to a different way of seeing money. Eg. Think and Grow rich, the richest man in Babylon etc.

As you're job hunting, start hunting for your life purpose. The moment you realize it, your view of life would shift and you'd stop worrying over every situation that looks like a problem.

Know yourself, discover your talents and what you're unique at, discover your calling.
Use this time to know yourself.
I pray you get all that you deserve and at the end, everything would be alright , and if it feels nothin is alright, just know it's not the end.
So preserve, keep trying things, you'd fail but if you learn you'd eventually succed

If i read every comments before I reply , I won't have anything good left to say, because many bitterness and foolishness are littered here already.

To be honest, I love how you wrote about this. It's not just enlightening it's inspiring.

Thank You for Sharing this lovely write up, I hope everyone who reads it picks something good from it.

We need more intelligent post on nairaland.
Already sick of the bitterness, hatred, tribalism, gender wars and all the negativity that thrives here.
Once again, thank you and God Bless you.

Thank God you're being honest with yourself.

So stop wasting time and playing with emotions, let him go, somebody daughter someone is praying for that your man to be hers.

So let him go and when next going into Relationships,
Go for someone that can nurture your feelings, not because of looks or financial prowess or social status.
Go for someone that fuels your soul,
Most times such people are not our ideal spec.


You're lucky you discovered this before marriage.
Don't pity the guy, he would surely get over it

The fact that this is a true life story is truly terrifying.

I hope the op is now in a better place mentally and spiritually.

I feel for his family, this is so painful

Been there, still working on it..

OP just Google abandonment issues and see if you can relate..
Discovered that was my problem in 2021 January..
Like I stopped dating or meeting new people, because no matter how great my relationship is, I'd still feel this urge to just move..

Now at least I have healthy female friendships.

Just make you research,

The reason you keep dating is because you feel empty inside, this relationships are supposed to fill you, that's what you think, and after a while they don't make your life better, so you drop them and tell yourself maybe someone special is out there.

Guy you need to do some soul searching, shadow work and mental evaluation.

If you claim to be a Christian , what did the bible say about adultery !
What did Jesus say about marriage and divorce ?
Before you come here and start acting like omniknowest
We never got to hear his side of the story tho.
I pity men that keep wicked women in their life, it's as deadly as sleeping in a lions den.
May his soul Rest in Peace

We only see the world from our level of awareness.

If you haven't evolved enough to recognize the existence of higher beings, then you'd never understand.

A little child won't understand differential calculas no matter how many times he's taught at his little age.

Reality is subjective to our perception and consciousness.

Funny enough many churches and religions don't really understand this universe and that is in existence.

They just find something that works and stick to it for years.
Most christians can quote the bible can pray and all but they don't really understand what they read in the bible.
They depend on others to teach them what they know.


It's frustrating trying to fit in when it's clear you don't.

If you feel Christianity isn't working for you, then find what will

But it's only a fool that would say there's no God.
I wish you good luck ,
Whatever you do , pls don't complicate your life by getting into something you don't really want..

You may not like Christianity as it's been portrayed, but ask yourself what do you lose by being a Christian.

And if you decide to leave, what would you really gain.
Adam and Eve committed the first sin, and till this day many of us keep commiting that very basic sin.

What's that.

In the Garden of Eden God had given them permission to eat of all the fruit of the trees but not from the tree of knowledge and life.

Yet they still ate from it, so why did they it from it, when they had so many better options.

They didn't eat from it because the fruit of the tree looked more beautiful or it looked eatable, all the trees bearing fruits , were also good looking and eatable.
But because the devil told eve if she eats from it, she would have knowledge !!!
She ate the fruit because there was something extra she'd get..

Today many of us complicate our life by trying to get more, to get something extra.

Even tho God has clearly provided for our needs.

The reason for sharing this post is to remind us all, that most times our life could be doing very okay , even tho it's not perfect it's ok and there's progress then the devil comes along to tempt us, telling us there's something extra for us to get, telling us theres nothing to lose.
Then we leave our place of safety and wander into nowhere and get separated from God.

May God help us all.

I don't agree with my church leaders all the time, I decided to have a personal relationship with God, to see if we would reach out to me or Its just fake,.
But truly God exists and the word of God in the bible are true.

But the way Christianity is being expressed in our churches and society is very misleading.


God bless us all

GangLands.
Action packed and emotional.
Bout some British street kids failed attempt to rob a drug dealer..
Drug dealers Come back to collect what was stolen, it happens that one of the kids from the robbery was related to a high profile mercenary .
Boom, it's now about doing things to rescue the kid.
The movie is action packed with a lot of emotional moments .
I rate it a 9/10

Candidlady:



Trying to find the sense in what you wrote


Read your write up again and read his comment...

You folks are just myopic

First find the sense in your head before looking for sense in someone's post

chatinent:
So to cut it short, after you stopped SIMPing you started having girls with higher standard?

Why is it always about girls? Can't you be redpill and just forget about women?


You swallowed the pill, now you brag of following high standard girls. Doesn't it inform you that you only became a high standard simp?

Chai see bad belle for early momo

I believe you're not here asking for advise, because you've said you've come to peace with stand on the relationship issue and you're not communicating her anymore.


So this post is to shed more light on why females friend zone guys.

I'll start by saying, take the redpill, it would bring enlightenment and answers to all this questions even tho it's a chunk of bitter truths, many can't swallow so they rather hate on it.

Do you have an idea of how many guys toast a girl in a week ?
Do you know how many guys texts or call them in just a day
Talkless of when she now posts pictures online

OP you're never the only guy interested in a babe, she knows this , and she's aware better guys would still come after you've gone, so it's safer to keep you as a friend , at least she would be entitled to your friendship and other benefits, without her commiting to you. Because a babe said let's be friends, doesn't mean she likes you, she only knows you could be useful.


Ask yourself one very honest but simple question,
What do female friends do for their male friend

I'm not talking bout their boyfriend's or besties , I mean just one thing that we all know they do for their friends.

So before you agree to be friends with a lady ask yourself, What would this friendship add to my life.
Are you going to be hanging out, are you guys going to sharing life issues together.
What exactly do you need the friendship for ?
Are you a simp or someone that can't just say no.


This is 2022
You don't have to identify as a red piller but please get exposed to the red pill , read and broaden your perspective .

Applied knowledge is power
If you don't always know you'd always be weak

Lastly if a lady loves you or is into you, it would be as clear as the sun, no such thing as confusion.
You'd know .


The moment something between a lady starts getting confusing, just quit it and move.

That's the simplest red flag to identify

Punish them and report to their parents..
And openly scold no dey hide the evil


Their young , it can still be corrected

I'm not a loud person and I don't entertain noise, but what have realized that In public/gathering amongst people, the loudest voice is perceived as the truth.

It doesn't matter how foolish or stupid the comment is, if others see more than two persons listening , they would take the person that's talking as someone that knows what he's saying.
If the person is now loud lasan, they would call all his comments facts.
People are socially conscious as not to offend the most aggressive person,
So between the person talking, they'd try not to offend the person that comes off loud and aggressive, eventually they claim they are saying the same thing with the person.


Most times the majority in public is often wrong

So its because of women bashing that makes here toxic.

All the numerous scams !!
The trolling and harassment
The fake stories and all .

It's woman bashing that you carry for your head !
I can't blame you .


The forum is slowing going into it trenches, no more interesting threads
The frontpage news are just so pathetic.

People are discouraged from sharing their truths and experience.
You'd find grown adults having a back and forth on a sensitive thread.

If they were contributing to the thread it would have been better, but they'd be arguing and insulting each other as if that's the reason for the thread. It's well.
But do all these matter ? As long as the sites keeps bringing money and traffic, then there's no problem

Those new guys she's talking to were never new, you just never knew

What a pity.

On a more serious note, a lot of people bash TheGIDRedpiller but if only you paid attention to what he and other men have been preaching.
You'd understand how she could move on fast.

On this forum , the redpill has been condemned but just like the gospel of Christ after the death of Christ, it has been met with resistance.


Dear Op my only advise for you is to swallow the redpill and get done with the simping life full of pain and misery .

I don't even rate love and feelings in consideration for a wife.

Have developed feelings and love for so many people in the past but where are they today.

I don't trust emotions, they could be selfish and myopic

I don't care who loves who more.

I just need compatibility, Trust, loyalty, Respect and Shared Vision.
We can make the love come later on.

But mere love and feelings aren't convincing enough, I need something more realistic

I would agree, we would go and see the film and I would invite my babe to also join us there .



It would just be another coincidence

OP you're dealing with a highly manipulative person.
Maybe even a narcissist.

If you tell someone you want a relationship but they want otherwise.
You demand love and they give you excuses

And yet this person still wants you around!!!
My dear you're just being used and manipulated and once your usefulness in the person lives ceases , so their attention and affection..
But narcissist never discard their victim's, they would always keep them around incase they need a favor.

OP your guts isn't deceiving you,
You've been played and avoid her like a plague.


If you must give her project topic, ask her to pay , if she can't pay let her find someone else .
You're not the only person in the world .


I advise you to flee from her and reject any form of friendship or association with someone like that.
Or else she would just keep milking and draining anything iota of love left in you

January 29

Never ever met any Nigerian birthday mate

Obviously it was planned.

We shouldn't panic or lose focus because all what is happening now has been predicted.
Rathers let's put our focus on God and turn from our sinful ways.
Surely he would save us.

kenzysmith:
oh my God this your write up really give me hope, give me believed, I wish I can be your friend on watapp so we can be communicating more often. Big thanks bro . happy newyear man

Happy New Year Man .
All the best, just send an email.