Musa went to Lekki beach for relaxation. While lying there, a woman came and asked him: 'are u relaxing?' he ... said 'no, me na Musa'.

Few minutes later, a man came and asked him the same question, he answed no, 'me na Musa'. Few minutes again, a little child came and asked him if he was relaxin? He got angry and decided to move away from that spot. On his way, he saw a
guy sunbathin. Musa asked him, 'are u relaxing?" The guy answered 'yes, i am relaxing" Musa gave him a hot slap! ...kai,

No be u everybodi dey find since..

Have a nice day

've been married for a number of years now with four children and I was a very faithful wife until a few months ago when I discovered that my husband was having an affair with a close family friend. He had cheated on me many times in the past but this particular affair was the last straw. I decided to pay him back. It was supposed to be just that one time, but the affair has been going on for a few months now. My husband has started noticing my constant absence from our home and my distance from the marriage. I've also become very good at lying about my whereabouts. The issue right now is that despite the fact that I love my husband, I feel no guilt whatsoever. I've never even made any move to stop the affair. Does this make me a bad person? Is there any woman out there who can help me make sense of this? I didn't even know I was a woman capable of this. Why don't I feel guilty or care that I'm betraying my husband?

God has added another year to Mummy G.O, wife of Pastor E.A Adeboye, †ђξ anointing of God upon ur life will never run dry in Jesus Name Amen. i wish her many more years on earth ,Wisdom, Divine Health, Strength, Power and more Anointing for you Ma. All Redeemed members rejoice with u,Let's somebody shout halleluyah!!

My name is Mrs, I'm 35 years old and I've been married for the past 17 years.

For 17 years I've been praying for the fruit of the womb.
I and my husband have been to different hospitals for medical check up, but all to No avail. The Doctors said we are both fertile (meaning we can Both make babies).
I married my husband at age 18 while I was still a virgin.
My husband(Joshua) has always been there for me in everything, understanding and supportive in our trying times.
About 2 years ago, my childhood friend advised me on what to do....following her advice I remembered "Bayo" my 22 years old house help. Bayo has been with us since he was 8 years old, we treated him as if he was ours.

I started talking to him about his personal life. Few months later, my husband traveled to his home town to see his people, so I utilized the opportunity!
I locked Bayo in my room and begged him to have sex with me,He refused at first, then I threatened him that I would Send him back to d village....he later agreed, so we had sex 5 times b4 day break!
The next day my husband came back.
13days later, I Became pregnant, unknowing to Bayo that I was pregnant, I gave him 1million naira, told him to take d money and Go back to the village........the lil chap was Greatfully satisfied!
I eventually told my husband that I was pregnant and he instantly became the most happiest person in the world, he called his mother,updated them about the news and they started buying kid clothing and Toys.
Few months later we did scan and the doctors told us that it was twin.
Glory be to God, I gave birth to taiwo(female) and kehinde(male).
2 days ago, my husband woke me up in d middle of the night, held me close to his arms, looked into my eyes, and asked me "Jumoke, who is the father of our kids" I was shocked, scared that he must have known some how, I just knew he had known because of d way he asked me, I didn't know what to say, I was so shy bcus I knew I've betrayed his trust, I looked at his eyes and I burst into tears........
he then told me "jumoke, before u start talking, I have a confession to make" I cleaned my face and sat upright. he went ahead and told me how he had Unprotected sex with a girl in his village and contacted STD before he got married, and how he didn't treat it for a very long time, that eventually when he went to the hospital, the doctors told him that the std he didn't treat ontime had made him sterile(can't impregnate a woman)
He said he treated the STD b4 he got married to me, and he has always known that he was sterile, and that all those test we've been doing that he has been paying the doctors to give me a wrong result.
He also added that the woman he had sex with back then got pregnant and the child is BAYO our house help. he also went ahead by saying that he has always wanted to tell me to look for someone to impregnate me but he just didn't have the balls to do so.
But now that I have done it,he'll like to know who d father is."I fainted"

Prolonged wearing of high heels can cause a permanent damages like bunions, hammertoes, leg tendons.. This are mainly caused due to pressure on ball of the foot. The higher the heels, the greater is the pressure. This can also affect the knee and back.
So on wearing high heels continuously you are increasingly damaging you feet. If you love your health be cautious.

Prolonged wearing of high heels can cause a permanent damages like bunions, hammertoes, leg tendons.. This are mainly caused due to pressure on ball of the foot. The higher the heels, the greater is the pressure. This can also affect the knee and back.
So on wearing high heels continuously you are increasingly damaging you feet. If you love your health be cautious.

Lagos- A 34-year-old nurse on Friday leapt for joy when an Oshodi Customary Court in Lagos dissolved the five-year-old marriage to her husband who allegedly planted “magun’’ on her.

The petitioner, Mrs Taiwo Akinode, who resides at 58, Mafoluku Road, Oshodi, Lagos openly expressed her joy and gratitude over the judgment, saying, “thank God, I am free from this juju man.“

“My husband had planted `magun’ on me because he does not trust me, he thinks am promiscuous.

“I almost lost my life before my relations came to the rescue and it was discovered that he was the culprit.

“He does not have respect for my mother, whenever she tries to intervene in our disagreement, he will extend the beating to my mother,” she said.

She accused her husband of adultery, saying that he slept around with different women.

She also alleged that Akinode was irresponsible, adding that he threatened her life with `juju` because he was an “Ifa’’ worshipper.

“I do not blame him because I moved in with him following a prophecy from my pastor that he is my rightful husband. He did not marry me properly.

“He is very fetish, he has been threatening me and my mother and I cannot take it anymore, that is why I filed the divorce,’’ she told the court.

The respondent, Toyin Akinode, a 37-year-old mechanic did not deny the allegations, saying that he was also fed up with the marriage.

“My wife is very stubborn and promiscuous and her mother will always support her whenever I report my wife to her.

“She was aware that I am an “Ifa’’ worshipper before I married her five-years ago, now she wants a divorce over my religious background,“ Akinode said.

He, however, urged the court to proceed with the dissolution of their marriage.

Akinode also promised the court that he would pay the maintenance fee and would prefer to visit his children at school in order to avoid any trouble with his former wife.

The court president, Mrs R.I. Adetola pronounced the dissolution of the marriage.

“I hereby dissolve the marriage between Toyin and Taiwo, since both parties are tired of the marriage and both consented to the dissolution.

“The two children of the marriage should be in the custody of their mother since they are still very young. Any aggrieved party can appeal against the judgment within the next 30 days,“ Adetola said.

She ordered that the respondent pay the sum of N4, 000 monthly to the court registrar for his children`s maintenance. (NAN)

John and Muda were both patients at Yaba mental hospital.
One day while they were walking past the hospital swimming pool, John suddenly jumped into the deep end. He sank to the bottom of the pool and stayed there. Muda promptly jumped in to save him. He swam to the bottom and pulled John out.

When their Psycho Doctor became aware of Muda's heroic act, He immediately ordered Muda to be discharged from the hospital, as he
now considered him to be mentally stable.

The Doctor Called Muda and broke the good news to him.

The Psycho Doctor said:
"Muda, I have good news and bad news.The good news is you're being discharged; since you were able to rationally respond to a crisis by jumping in and saving the life of another dying patient in the Pool."

"I have concluded that your act displays that you have a sound mind. The bad news is, John, the patient you saved, hung himself in the bathroom with his bathrobe belt right after you saved him. I am so sorry, but he's dead."

Muda replied, "Doc, He didn't hang himself, I Hanged him there to dry because there is plenty water in his body

Yes, i give it to Etisalat, the best network so far.

1)Never travel with all your family in one vehicle at the same time. Whether by road, train, boat or plane. If you have a family of 6, split them into different planes, so that if anything happens your lineage wont face extinction
2)Have a parallel team for every service you enjoy. If you are using a private hospital, have a Doctor friend in the UK or Germany, or even in General Hospital that you can call to compare d jargons they are saying.
3)Never pray with both eyes closed. Keep your eyes open and watch your Pastor or Imam or Babalawo like a hawk.
Never rely on miracles when common sense can solve the problem, especially if ur spiritualist is going to collect his 'paje' in advance..
4)Never wake up without thanking God, or sleep without asking for mercy.
5)Get a bullet proof vest, and a bomb-proof car if you can afford it..If you cant afford it, move out of Jos, Bauchi, Kano and all the volatile places, you are safer in Afghanistan
6)Never believe the local media all the time, always tune to the foreign media for confirmation.
7)Try your best to build your own house, no matter how small, and no matter how remote its location
Relocate your children out of Nigeria if you can. That’s what those who are driving the country’s ship are doing, and they must have seen something..
9)Save your money, but never put all of it in the bank.
10)Get insured. Burglary and fire, life, pension, Health insurance..Get it all
11)Never fight corruption..avoid it and let it go its own way..if u decide to fight it, never take money from Otedola, or any of your enemies, without an intermediary, or an ally like EFCC
12)Never do anything without a contract, don’t marry, invest money, supply goods without one. Don’t die without a will

Simply cultural differences and nothing more. The guy on the right only demonstrated the way Nigerians relate to Elders or people believed to be above them. That does not happen in the western world. I call people my grandmothers age by name and that's hugely rude in Nigeria but absolutely OK in Europe.

Ʊ need τ̲̅ȍ move on with ur Life and before u do dat my Sis u need τ̲̅ȍ undergo a serious Deliverance. One of †ђξ reason y you need dat deliverance is because of †ђξ blood shed and Soul Tie. I will recommend Mountain Of Fire (MFM) for you. Break urs and leave †ђξ betrayer

Try http://m.wakanow.com or on there lInes
(07009252669), +234 7030095727 and +234 7028413705
All †ђξ best

Pix

9 family members lost ! How insensitive and self centred people can be ! How can d wedding hold a week after d plane crash ?

After coming all the way from USA because of her brother's wedding and died with her 4 children,husband and mother in the Dana Air Crash,..Maimuna's brother still went ahead with his wedding today ..What a world ..read all here http://www.cknnigeria.com/2012/06/exclusivehighly-uncharitablemaimunas.html?m=1 . Wots ur own view

NCAA has confirmed that there were no survivors in the Dana plane crash

What is causing all dis plane crash sef especially in Nigeria? To board plane dey fear person nowadays. God pls enough of dis disasters http:///F5J9zwAt. Have mercy on us.

Dear unilag students as much as I want to say Mr president played another trick on us by renaming Unilag after this great man , rather than renaming the likes of the National assembly building after d man who died for democracy, I want to say that I understand how some of u feel as most were still very young in 1993 ! So the importance of this will be lost on u guys !
I believe the occupy unilag is misplaced as what is being potrayed here is simple ! NIGERIA IS NOT WORTH DIEING FOR ! Sad . For some of us who were part of that struggle, it saddens once heart and I ask myself is is worth it to be on the side of the people?hmmm
I will plead with undergraduates of the MKO ABIOLA UNIVESITY to give honour to whom its due ! Make una no vex he no affect d packaging ! Strictlymyopinion!!

If u dont mind Ogba Ikeja side, go to De-Genesix Hotel Απϑ Suit @ Abo-Aba Str Off Ayaji Road Ogba. Its a very Ϟϊςέ Απϑ lovely hall.

Emeka in a very thoughtful mood, I asked him what is d problem?
He replied:
" Nna ehn wahala dey o I borrowed JOHN 2 million naira for facial surgery and now I can't “Identify him again. What can i do?
Nna - Hahahhahaha

Sexiest 46 years old lady on planet EARTH.

THE DREAM OF MERCEDES, HOUSE IN LEKKI, OWAMBE PARTY IS OVER FOR BOLA!!

A Nigerian woman, Bola Adebisi, set an unenviable world record for amount of ingested heroin ever recovered when she tried to smuggle five pounds of heroin in 180 pellets into the U.S.
The previous record was four pounds of heroin ingested in 100 pellets.



Airport authorities at the Dulles International Airport, say that 52-year-old Bola Adebisi ingested an incredible 180 thumb-sized pellets filled with heroin.
Airport officers became suspicious when she was questioned after arriving on  Ethiopian Airlines flight 500 from Adis Ababa.

Adebisi claimed she was visiting her brother in the U.S., but she was unable give details of her “brother” and his address. A routine pat-down showed that her belly was
suspiciously rigid, and an X-ray revealed to astonished officials that she had in her stomach 180 thumb-sized pellets with a total weight of five pounds.

Steve Sapp of the Customs and Border Protection, said: “We were kind of shocked and surprised at the sheer number of pellets she ingested.
We usually see men twice her size ingest about half of what she did.”

According to International Business Times, Adebisi broke a previous record for ingested drugs set on March 30, 2011, by another Nigerian man,

 

46-year-old Yomade Aborishade of Lagos, Nigeria, who was arrested for ingesting four pounds of heroin in 100 pellets.

The lady was taken to the hospital where overnight, she passed out all the pellets containing heroin worth an estimated 150,000 pounds.

Christopher Hess, director of Customs and Border Patrol for Washington D.C. said: “The amount of pellets and heroin this woman ingested is incredible, a serious health risk, and very troubling if these numbers become the new normal.”

Authorities say drug mules often attempt to smuggle heroin and cocaine, and sometimes ecstasy by swallowing latex balloons, often condoms or fingers of latex gloves or other special pellets filled with the drugs and later recovered from feces. It is a medically dangerous way of smuggling small amounts of drugs and a mule can die if a packet bursts or leaks before exiting the body. Statistics from 2003 show over 50% of foreign females in UK jails were drug mules from Jamaica,with Nigerian women making a large contribution to the balance.

Adebisi, according to MSNBC, will be prosecuted by the U.S. Attorney’s Office for the Eastern

While the rumour mill is agog with the reported death of popular  Yoruba Comedian Bolaji Amusan,(Mr Latin), confirmed frm a close associate to famous comedian and he revealed that he is hale and healthy.

He also disclosed that he is preparing for a working tour of America.


Miss Cross River Isabelle Ayuk  emerged as the 2012 most beautiful girl in Nigeria last night. She gets an

undisclosed amount of money together with a Toyota Corolla from Edo State Government, N1m Cartier

wrist watch from Polo LTD.

MBGN top 5 were

Miss Osun 4th runner up. Miss Kaduna 3rd runner up. Miss Abuja 2nd runner up. Miss Rivers 1st runner

up. Miss Cross River  (Winner)

You have 2 chose one,and answer by LEFT or RIGHT and starting how 2get there...

Happy for Annie, after so much perseverance. Surulere!!!!!!!!

Breaking News.....Rasheed Yekini is Dead
Rasheed Yekini confirmed dead by channels TV in less than 30secs ! Life !!!

Recently this past week, a 31-year old newly graduated student, with a doctoral degree about to start her new career as a Doctor, was flown into a nearby hospital, because ...she passed out. They found a blood clot in her neck, and immediately took her by helicopter to the ER to operate by the time they removed the right half of her skull to relieve the pressure on her brain, the clot had spread to her brain causing severe damage.. Since last
Wednesday night, she was battling.. they induced her into a
coma to stop the blood flow, she was operated 3 times..
Finally, they said there was nothing left that they could do. They found multiple clots in
the left side of her brain. The swelling wouldn't stop, and
she was on life support. She died at 4:30 yesterday. She leaves behind a husband and a 2yr old
Brandon and a 4yr old Justin... The CAUSE of DEATH - they found
was a birth control pill she was taking that allowsyou to only have your period 3 times a year... They said it interrupts life's menstrual cycle, and although it is FDA approved... shouldn't be - So to the women I ask you to deal with your period once a month - so you can live the rest of the months that your life
has in store for you.
Please send this to every woman you know - you may save
someone's life.... Remember, you
have a CYCLE for a reason! Please take time to read the
warnings and side effects regarding
birth control pills before using them, some of the warnings and side effects horrible. Please forward this information to as many daughters AND sons, co-workers, friends and relatives

According to Sources, a 24-year-old Chiredzi Zimbabwe woman has been jailed for 12 months for killing a newly-born baby she had with her 15-year-old schoolboy lover. Vimbai Mahembe of Village 3 in Chipimbi communal lands strangled the baby to death and buried it in a shallow grave because she was embarrassed to face her relatives after being impregnated by her Form 3 lover from the same village.

Mahembe pleaded for a lenient sentence, saying she killed the newly born baby because the father could not look after it since he was still at school. Chiredzi magistrate Mr Thomas Ndokera had initially sentenced Mahembe to three years, but conditionally suspended two years after convicting her for infanticide on her own plea of guilty.

Prosecutor Mr Liberty Hove said on 17 April this year at around 7 pm Mahembe gave birth to a baby boy in her bedroom hut. After giving birth, she strangled the newly born to death and wrapped the body with a cloth before putting it in a bucket and sneaked out to the family garden, a few metres away.

@liveofofo

At the garden, Mahembe dug a shallow pit and buried the infant inside before returning to her bedroom hut. Mahembe’s sister-in-law became suspicious after she saw blood all over the floor inside the hut.

She repeatedly quizzed Mahembe who admitted to have given birth to a baby boy and killing him since the father could not look after him as he was still attending secondary school. A report was made to police at Chipimbi base leading to Mahembe’s arrest