First of OP; The duty and responsibility of a husband is to love his wife no matter what.
You failed there.....
Marriage is not for the faint-hearted. You as a man really need to be matured both in mind and attitude. A wife is the reflection of what her husband is.
All women have bad mouth. No exception! But for a woman to go to the extent of threatening your life, hmmm you're in danger. You need to retrace your steps man.
That unborn child should not be experiencing this crualty between you and your wife. Put your house in order.
Lack of comprehension is a big problem. Please work on it. Next time try to read and understand before commenting cos you got the whole thing twisted.
Sorry i can't help you beyond this.
You got your whole caption wrong. It was meant to be "My Catholic Brethren, Are you forbidding meat today". It is very clear that in person, you speak before you think. WORK ON IT!
Jewessgratitud3: Is this still in practice in Catholic? cos since I left one and joined a pentecostal I don't get to see that practice any more..
Do you still abstain from meat on good Friday? If I see meat I go chop o but definitely not in the presence of those who don't believe in it.
If you can show me in the bible where you can't eat meat on good Friday or even where good Friday is written in the bible, then I won't eat meat. Christian zombies everywhere.
Fine face and good body shape does not put food on the table. When you get married and have at least 2 children, you will understand better. You pay house rent, feeding, schools fees, children clothes, utilities and co all by yourself without her input? I laugh...
Have you thought of when you die early after marrying her and how she's gonna cope with the bills? Let me give you a simple run down...
1. House rent --- minimum (500k yearly) 2. School fee (2kids) termly 200k (Good quality school oo) 3. Feeding monthly (40-60k) for family of 4 4. Emergency and utility / gas/ others (20k)
My bro, after 2-4 years of marriage, you will regret such a decision. Even if you open a business for her, It is still you that will hustle for that setup depending on the business. After 5-7 years of the marriage when you have exhausted yourself trying to proof breadwinner alpha male lolsss you will look older than your age
This has nothing to do with dream man. Many women don't marry their dream men, because their dream men don't even consider them as spec, so they marry who is available, but still don't starve them of sex because they too enjoy sex.
The OP's wife doesn't like sex.
@OP, it could be hormone, especially if it happened after she had kids. Pregnancy can really mess up a woman. Go to a hormonal doctor let them tell you the test to run.
That is part of the issue too. Hormonal imbalance.
addmole: I and My wife have been married for 5 years. We are based here in Lagos. She's 35 years old. We are doing very okay and living comfortably. Since we got married, my wife hated sex so much. I am not even trying to sugarcoat this. She doesn't want to hear you talk about it or she does it. There's no one in the family that haven't tried to settle our differences since we got married. She was never like this when we were dating. It's been 1 issue to the other. She doesn't initiate sex, and when she does accept you to have sex, it's missionary style and it's just 1 round. Ah, me wey dey like knack wella. This woman begin change am for me. Lol. She doesn't want to hear you discuss sex.
Anyway sha, lets move on...
5 YEARS ago, her mum came to my house to kneel down and tell me I am stressing her daughter that I should not kill her with sex. Her then-unmarried sister then asked if I ama dog? Ah, insult. Anyway, I don forgive her. I spoke to my wife and told her what is the meaning of this? What kind of lies are you feeding your family with? This is the same person who happens to make just 1 round of sex. Just 1 round. She lies flat on her back. Once you are done, she quickly pushes you away if you stay on top of her for more than 10 to 15 minutes. There were times she would hit me if I try to initiate sex. I reported to her elder brother. He elder brother warned her. She stopped. She moved to kicking me anytime we initiate sex on bed, i reported to my pastor, he spoke to her and then, she stopped. My pastor told me i have to be patient with her. I said OK.
Omo... The only time we make love is just 1 round, missionary style and that's it. She says she has pain on her stomach. I have been patient for 5 years with her. I told her anytime she's strong enough, we can make out. That there's no problem.
I have been pressured to cheat on her many times. i HAVE BEEN REALLY PRESSURED. Its just not easy. Her family have insulted me for demanding sex from her. Lol. The thing tire me. I see no where i am demanding. We don't do any other position apart from the missionary style. We do not even kiss. This is a woman that doesn't want you to kiss in in anyway. Even sometimes, she shouts at you when you try to be romantic to kiss her unexpectedly just to spies up our love life. She doesn't even want you to cuddle her on bed. She wants to be alone. Make money, attend to her business, vibes, laugh with friends and family and that's it. When it comes to sex, don't go there discussing that with her about making out.
I even had to retort to preparing her mind for sex by sending her a position we would try on WhatsApp, she would leave the message on read and not respond. When you talk to her about what you sent to her, she would just tell you, she's not strong to make love.
ANOTHER PART OF HER: My wife is a very bitter person full of anger. If you try to tickle her when she's cooking in the kitchen to play with her, she gets angry and warns you not to try such. My wife doesn't want you to play with her. I am not writing all these to make it look I am a victim here. But all these are my experiences. I have to pour it out. I NEED SOME ADVICE.
There were many times, we agreed on separating. But we have already children and we used to think about these because the quarrels and the disrespect, sex and everything is causing a whole lot on us.
We do not have any form of healthy discussion very well. Before you know it, we are quarrelling over the place, she's shouting. There was a time we quarrelled that after throwing a Gotv remote at her, she fainted. She woke up before we got to the hospital. She almost died. I told her, she needs to stop her anger and control herself and enjoy her marriage. She just won't listen. She's an Edo woman.
I have tried many times to leave the marriage because it's affecting my mental health. Sometimes I regret about getting married to her. Sometimes, I just feel, maybe I CAN TRY MORE and give her a chance. When you call her to discuss our sex life, about her anger and bitterness, she doesn't apologise. She hardly apologise. Even when I get to explain her part on why she was wrong, she claims she's right until maybe someone hears us arguing before she would reluctantly apologise.
I have been battling a really starved sex life, full of a woman with bitterness, anger and pride who never apologise. She's quick to advice other women on Facebook, She would video call friends, give them advice and her family how they need to maintain peace with their relationship. But she never seem to give me respect in anyway in her own own. Hmmmm.
Recently, my wife brought out another timetable that she cannot cope making out with me the way she does. Which is 3 times a week. That she can only be available to make love 2 times a week. This 2 times is just 1 round each. This is how she wants it. I immediately responded to her that I feel her pain. I understand. She cannot be pressured just to make it look like she wants to please me that I would rather get a side chic. Yes, i know this was wrong to tell her, but i am frustrated. She disrespects me and starve me of sex and she's even bending the rules again. She responded that 'ok that I am free to do what i LIKE'.
i decided to bring this here to know the comments from people. I would like to get advice from persons who are going through similar things like this and advice me on what to do.
Some of you might say, call her and talk to her. I have done that several times since in the last 5years. I did it last night and twice today. I have spoken to her. She promised she would change, she would not only repeat the same thing but make things worst the next time.
She disrespects me a lot. I have sometimes left the house but come back after families get to call me. She would change for a week and return to her old self.
What do I DO? Please make your responses constructive enough.
Both of you need to see a sex therapist. It is going to cost you guys but you need it. That is one. Secondly, from my experience, women who don't like sex to the extreme as your case are women who have either been raped in the past or have had some sort of circumcision. Thirdly, OP diet goes a long way as your wife has low libido. Believe it or not. By the time you start natural sex enhancing diets at least 3-4 times weekly for 1 month. Trust me your wife will run begging you. Try these steps mentioned and thank me later. God bless and keep your home.
@Op, congratulations!!! The real world đ has begun. All you need now is to concentrate on your area of strength as IT is vast. Once again, congratulations.
[quote author=Akalia post=123226367]Hello everyone. Good morning.
A quick question. Please does anyone know of universities in the United States where I can do HND to BSC top-up?
Expecting helpful responses. Thanks. [/quote There are universities in the U.S that accept HND for Masters. Some have scholarship opportunities for HND. Go to YouTube and search. Thank me later.
DID TINUBU GET UP TO 25%. HOW DO YOU DEFINE THIS LOSS?
Very simple.... He built Lagos since 1999 - 2006 left it as an abandoned project but Obi came and fenced it, roofed it, locked the gate and went away with the keys.....
Norah199: Good morning guys. I need some matured minds and married men and women in the house to look into this matter and give me an ideal way to go about this. Would be a long read pls bear with me.
So late late 2021, I got married to my long time girlfriend. Before the marriage, my mom had a little reservation about the girl and her family for some odd reasons due to her tribe. Sheâs Igbo. Everything was funny because the first day I introduced my wife to my mom. She liked her and everything was cool. They where going on well until my mom started telling me sheâs having some dreams about the girl and her family. Sheâs white garment member. I think her dislike started growing when she told my wife about her church and she said she canât go to her church for any reason. I was a former member of the church when I was a teenager but with time as I grew I stopped going to the church not because itâs a bad church or something wrong with it. I just donât fancy going there and also not a church type of person. My mom believe it was the girl that made me stopped going to the church which was funny. She has said that several times.
For the record, Iâm an only child of my mother, my dad is late and sheâs yet to marry again. I do everything for her like her rent, monthly upkeep, and also got her a good car. Initially I thought she was doing all these because she felt she hasnât enjoyed me yet and another woman is coming into the picture which is normal for most parents. So I did everything I could to make her comfortable before my wedding.
We did the wedding and everything went on smoothly aprt from some normal family disputes and all but the wedding was successful. Deep down I know my mom still doesnât like my girl because of her statement s most times but I donât always give her that room so sheâs always quiet and rather not talk whatâs on her mind. Later on, my mom started complaining of the money I give to her. She seems not to be ok with it. Trust me guys. I do more than enough for my mom. I just tried my best to handle everything well and sometimes allow her have her ways with her demands so she doesnât see my wife as a stumbling block to her.
To cut the long story short, my wife took in and was due for delivery and her mother came like a month before the delivery. Actually my wife had a false labour that made us rush to the hospital and doctor said she has very high maleria and was in serious labor. I called the mother immediately and she started coming the next morning because she lives in the East. The doctor gave her some injections and drugs for the maleria and the labor stopped. Doctor told us it wasnât the right time for the baby to come out because it was 8 months. The next morning when she was strong, we went back home with the mother that was already in town.
The mother decided to stay till the delivery instead of going back and coming again when she delivers which I supported. Two weeks the doctor gave us turned to 1 month and labor didnât still come. All these while I never knew my mom was so bitter that my mother inlaw was in my house for that long. She once asked me why the woman didnât go and come back. It was that bad. To make matters worse, I lost my child after a CS was done on my wife. It appeared the baby was in distress which the doctors failed to notice and came out with birth asphyxia. After about two weeks, she died. I opened a thread on that.
Problem started after I buried my child. Everyone was in sorrow and so much pains especially my wife. A day after the burial my mother called my mother inlaw and asked her why she hasnât gone yet. Started accusing the woman of killing the child and all manners of things. How she had turned her husband to vegetable and now she wants to teach her daughter how to turn her son into vegetable too. It was really bad. They both insulted each other and quarreled seriously on the phone just a day after the lost of my child. She also called my wife and told her âshebi she doesnât want childrenâ my wife was quiet and didnât utter a word.
I was in so much pain and so pissed at my mom for everything she did and didnât even speak to her for like a month even though I still sent her upkeep money. I reported her to her uncle and a few respected people. I donât know if they talked to her but nothing was done. No body called for any meeting even her own pastor that I reported to. Instead he told me itâs woman talk. That they both insulted each other and the rest..
After that incident till date. My wife, mother, and mother inlaw havenât spoken to each other even though I have had more peace since then but the fact still remains my mom and wife are not in good terms. I have long forgiven and moved on with my mom even though that closeness is not there but I donât fail to send her money for upkeep every month. My wife is cool with it and said she doesnât want that closeness with my mom even though she has forgiven her too.
My mom and I talks once in a while and never for once has she asked about my wife since that incident and my wife hasnât called either which I donât blame her. The last time I visited my mom. She said some ill things about my wife and her family and even told me my wife is not my rightful wife and some other things. I usually donât listen to her talks because I know how religion has turned so many people into something else.
The question right now guys. What do I do in this situation. The truth is nothing can change my moms mind about my wife and her family. But still as a husband, I still feel somehow knowing my wife and mom are not in good terms. My mother inlaw the last time told me she wants to make peace with my mom that they canât keep fighting forever especially because of her daughter. But deep down I know the thought my mom have about them. So I just told her itâs not the right time and with time everything will be fine. I canât force my wife to call my mom because she didnât do no wrong. At the same time my mom wonât even listen to me for any peace making. There are more things to say but I will end here. Sorry for the long write up. Your opinions would be deeply appreciated. Thank you đ
Firstly, you're blessed amongst women. I congratulate you on that.
Now to the issue at hand...
You see marriage ehh, just thank God that your own Ziggy zaga stared early with this, you will know the true character of your mum, wife and mother-in-law. All you need to do right now is to take your time to study these women in your life. Give it a space of 3 months. You will be the one who will reconcile all of these at the end but live your life freely.
Secondly: after the 3 months or even more, tell your wife you need to visit your mum with her that it concerns you and it is very critical (you know how you will persued her). Then take a knife along with you (act itooo) when you get to your mum's place with your wife, bring out the knife and tell them that if they don't reconcile now in your presence, you will kill yourself. Your mum will have no son and grandchild and your wife no husband.
I thought as much too. Where most companies and HRs use ATS (Applicant Tracking System) to sort out resumes with key skills. The OP is still in 20th century.
[quote author=IyaTola post=120358381][/quote] You forgot the part that most companies now use ATS (Applicant Tracking System) to sort resumes. Forgive me but if you still use the manual method to check resumes, it will wear you out soon.
gozmok1: PETER OBI always talks about Economy, Education, Infrastructure, etc..cool
While dis Clownish Tinubu is always about Obasanjo, Atiku, Peter Obi, etc..and will NOT tell us how he intends of Clear the Damages done by his USELESS party, APC.
Honestly, Between Tinubu and his Supporters, I Nor know who Yeye Pass.
MissTemi1: Plz keep shut. Your women stay even in very bad marriages because they are sold off!! Ur women are like goods and commodities in marriage. Imagine a man complained he was given bride price of 2 million naira cash, 2 generators, 25 tyres etc. Go to Joelâs blog and see how men are complaining of ur useless tradition. All na fake o. The stupid tribe that donât allow a female inherit Anytin from her father or her husband. A tribe that maltreats their widows. A tribe that sells their daughters to the highest bidder. Plz say somtin else, Una don cast. Na your ladies Dey do ashewo pass. We Yoruba guys will Bleep dem tire den pass dem to you to pay bride price tru ur nose. We re not complaining as long as we Bleep hell out of them
All you've been saying here is bleep bleep bleep so I can attest why your women are always in control of your men. I can also attest why you don't have a future since all your hard work (that is if you even do) all end up with sleeping with women. I've known that you're not intelligent, replicating your polygamous home where you came from.
EmiDon11: I am planning to marry from owerri but friends told me to run, that thier bride price is high...
Why are some bride price higher than others?
Are they not thesame humans?
And how much is bride price in ur area?
Nlfpmod
They are not the same humans. It is called VALUE. Let me give you a simple explanation. You are a graphic designer in company A with 3 years experience receiving 100k and another graphic designer with same experience in company B receiving 200k. The question you will ask is: is it not the same graphic software? Now you understand what value bring to the table.
It is best you go on Tuesday and tell them your work terms. Please I beg you OP, after the discussion let them put it in writing on your offer letter including the salary before you begin that job. Employers can do anything to get you on the job. Please thread with sense. If they do not agree with your terms, just leave the job. Job security matter a lot. It's not all about the money. I am speaking from experience.
Mathiasa: I salute everyone in the house. I have this issue with my wife with regards sex while fasting, I'm a Catholic while my wife attends redeem, we have our understanding with regards church so that's not an issue. We go to my church more often but atend her's sometimes. But I don't have issue with her taking part in their program. We got married last year. The problem now is that redeem are having I think 51 days of fasting and she is partaking in it and now asking me not to have sex until after the fasting. I told her that after their own fasting, we the Catholic are starting ours for 40days. I asked her does that mean no sex for almost 3 months? I have told her my mind, it's either we make love after she's done fasting everyday or she doesn't fast at all. I don't want to go and look outside when I have a wife I love at home. Pls my people in the house any advice?
1 Cor 7:5 Abstaining from sex is permissible for a period of time if you both agree to it, and if it's for the purposes of prayer and fasting - but only for such times. Then come back together again. Satan has an ingenious way of tempting us when we least expect it.
Tell your wife that she should behave herself. Ignorance is not good. When she ends the fast each day, what will she be doing? Or is her fast 24 hours every day? Show her this scripture and until both of you AGREE to abstain, she should do her duties.
[quote author=Rubyjade post=120241442][/quote] It all depends on the following: 1 Career path. I don't know what you studied and also the position involved.
2. Benefits. Most companies don't give 13th month, HMO, Life insurance or even pension. So if I am to advice you, choose the one that have better benefit. Any company that have good benefit is well structured and there is assured career path.
3. Connections or network of professionals. You can research more on the companies to know their review or impact in the society. Glassdoor or any other site can help you find out the working condition of employees past or present. Congratulations on your new job!
dannyimo: We don't make love at night as new married couple with the excuse that she is tired but I will always see her having sex and smiling while she is sleeping or anytime she sleeps. I will make every effort to have it with her but she won't let me. Next thing, I will find her having it in her dream with her legs wide open and punny wet
Please I need your advice on this.
And how do you know she's having it in her dream? Funny man. Sit her down and talk to her about your feelings. I always tell young couples that in marriage, communication is very important. You see all those pretence during courtship ehh, marriage will open your eyes. Both of you should be doing things together more ...... Going out more Praying together more Watching movies together Visiting friends together. There are lots of things to spice your young marriage. S*X is not everything.
pimplucious: I am looking at investing in hospitality business but Iâm not sure if 60Million naira will be adequate to erect a 20 room hotel and event hall with a capacity of about 500 people max.
Cause of the paucity of funds, Iâm looking to make it a single story building such that hotel will be on the ground floor while the top floor will hold the event hall.
Engineers in the house do you think this amount will be enough to achieve this? Pls letâs have your expert opinion on this. Thanks in advance.
Yes, it can but it all depends in the city, location, and people involved in the project.
Your wife won't tell you, inner most discussion she's having with that guy whether they're both married. A married man, a friend of mine with same scenario with yours, told me the woman regret marrying her current husband, that she never had feelings for the guy. Back then my friend was broke, she left him because shi shi he no get, now the guy is even a known contractor that's currently doing well for himself than her current husband. Try to get around with real men you will know sup not all these small boys with old age that no nothing just like you.
I don't need to check innermost conversations. Weak, insecure, broke and low self esteem men like you and the OP do that. You're the only one who I responded to "mentions". Normally I don't bring myself to your level.
There is no crime in sharing piece of advice but because a lady acknowledge she miss an old school mate doesn't prove she's promiscuous.
Infact the mentality majority people have concerning marriage really shows why many ladies and guys end up as sadist after getting married or after divorce.
Some one gave an instance using his wife as a good example, some people who don't even have healthy relationship are critizing another person as a "simp" just imagine
Funny enough, I'm a marriage counsellor. This is a faceless forum so I was just enjoying the rant. I saved my wife's ex boyfriend's marriage from crashing and we're getting a treat for that. You know what it is to face divorce in the U.S?
tollyboy5: This is one of the best advice sofar from the first page comments in that thread
You're the only smart and mature person in this thread so far. Many men these days (married) are unintelligent. Marriage is all about openness. No secrecy. The day you start finding out things that normally should be open to all, then prepare for calamity or divorce. The OP will soon get high blood pressure if care is not taken.
[quote author=spice123 post=119847718] My brother, I hardly comment on issues on this simply because of wrong perception but I will share my own experience.
When I wrote the bolded, I was expecting the mentions. A lot of men here have low IQ. They don't understand reverse psychology.
MRAKPORS: I read my wife's chat with another guy, apparently an old school mate In the chat, the guy said he misses my wife And my wife said she misses him too
Please is this proper?
My brother, I hardly comment on issues on this simply because of wrong perception but I will share my own experience. My wife chats with her ex from time to time which I am fully aware right from the time we started dating till we married (her ex is married now). I've equally had a WhatsApp call with the guy in one or two occasions (friendly talk). I've come to build some rapour with him. When this guy came to Naija I and my lovely wife went together to visit him. You see eh, everything in marriage is maturity. As it is we're planning vacation to the States sponsored by this guy. I'm a PROUD SIMP but I'm still in control. With the way you're going with full blown Alpha male attitude, you will loose your wife. Thread carefully!
Education / Re: Nairalanders: What Is The Meaning Of The Word "Wotoporously" by spice123(m): 11:54am On Oct 17
