This country ehnnnnnn

Coach Hope, see wetin you cause now o...

I remembered your story when this happened to me yesterday �

I took my car to car wash o, said let me go to market.

When I finish they must have also finished washing the car...

The guy was like, no problem ma... Once you come, it will be ready.

Na so I carry bike go market, thinking how to manage the small change in my purse...

I don tire to withdraw because the account don less like deflated ball... So so withdraw, withdraw...

No be so I buy finish, instead of taking bike back to car wash, carry my motor, na so I blow bike pass car wash go house...

I saw the car o � but e no register say na my car...

I got home, enter kitchen, cook, we ate and I balance...I didn't remember my car...

Till night o �, as I was about locking the door, I just said let me survey outside as I usually do... The spot I usually park the car was empty...

My chest cut ��������

Jesus...my car, where my car I started asking my children...

See ehn, money good o �

See what over analysis caused because of the way money dey go unto expensive foodstuff...

Then I remembered �

Car wash o

Car wash, my car is still there o...

Na so I begin pick race �, without cash to pay or slippers...

Na so I remember again, ran back home, carry money, put leg inside my children slippers, oyaaaaaaa, marathon part two...

I no even remember wear bra, na hand I take support the ministry... At some point, I left them in God's hands because the run no come fast again...

Ah...them don dey close for the day, my car was the only one there, the guy was like, madam I for help you bring am when we pack up finish (my regular cleaner)...

Panting, I say thank you, I don come now...

The relief as I enter my motor ehn...

Chai �

Before person go hold key for hand dey look for the key again inside dustbin because he born children full house...

God abeg o �

#ItCanOnlyGetBetter

#Pix: The way my head was full wey make me forget a whole jeep for car wash, carry bike go house...

� ChikaOnuu

Teachers, where are you?

Hahahhahaaaa... It's now fairy tale?

Your husband shouted at you in public during a ceremony because you mistakenly broke the screen of his phone worth #350k.

Surprised by his reaction, a man got up and gave you #500k and ask u to buy a new phone for ur husband in the presence of everyone including ur husband.

The man gave you his phone number asking you to call him in case the money is not enough so he can add more.

��‍♀ *As the ️woman, would you take this money and the phone number from this gentleman?*

�� *As the husband, what would you do in this situation?*

Open debate for all � �

This is one part of my teaching profession I love...

Drawing �

The children will just be "ahhhing" and "ohhhing", as if I am performing magic on the board...��.

I hardly ever draw a diagram twice.

I no miss road laidis so? Any teacher here?

I have married this guy tire in movies as per wife on set way back... nollywood in my bedroom. Ah, the imaginations ehnnn...���� while growing up... It is well o �

A legend he is but after watching a short clip of his now, I am more appreciative of his exploits in the movie industry and life in general.

������������

Here him @mofedamijo

R.M.D: All I have achieved so far is ZERO - NOTHING aside my family. For me, becoming 60 is the big deal, because both my parents never lived to be 60. That is when I will sit down, make a bucket list and START...

Me: And some persons have died over and again envying him and all his exploits, not knowing it was a means to an end for him. A mental survival to break the negative family trend of being hypertensive or diabetic and early death.

Watch out for R.M.D rebirth...

Men and brethren...

Know your path, face your lane.

If only we realize the grass is greener where it is watered, by you...you will buckle down and get to work.

Happy 60th birthday R.M.D... Cheers to living NOW...

#PS: I sent his pictures to hubby, and wrote... "See fine boy at 60"... I hope he got the message ���‍♀️... Who else is on this table?

Who Sleep Epp?
===========

She was just by the bus waiting for other passengers to board because she chose a seat close to the door. On her head was a mountain of attachment.

The style was epic, despite how smart I am at deciphering methods used in achieving complicated hair do, I couldn't figure this particular style.

You know what Yoruba people call "Oshuka", that's what the hair style looked like. (� please I don't know the English name o, you know that folded cloth people who hawk wares normally use to support the load on their head, yes, that's oshuka)

In my mind I was just hoping she won't change her choice of seat to the one by me. I already assumed that load on her head must be oozing. Thinking back now, I feel terrible judging her then.

I didn't want her to sit close to me but fate played a fast one, on second thoughts she opted for the seat right in front of me in the bus. Little did I know it was a divine arrangement.

The bus soon filled up and we got moving. Small breeze that touched my head like that saw me dozing off.

Chai, not so early now, I know I need more rest but sleep allow me get to my destination without disgracing myself I pleaded in my heart.

You know that kind of sleep that flings your head like someone is using your head to shoot catapult? Exactly, that was the type that struck me, I was drunken with sleep.

I managed to look to my left, this sad looking hefty man was already snoring and if I mistakenly drop my head into him, dirty slap will follow, na so I quietly adjust myself. �

To my right was an elderly woman who was reading and praying with her daily manual, guess she didn't do morning devotion at home. If my head drops on her by mistake, Holy Ghost fire will descend on me � because she will just label me the witch that was programmed to disrupt her prayers.

In front of me where I would have quietly placed my hands and sleep, my lady with the oshuka hairstyle already dropped her head on it and was sleeping comfortably. I was restless, no hope anywhere and the sleep was still coming on strong.

Body no be wood o. I don't know when I dozed off again, next thing I felt was my face inside this girl's Oshuka, she screamed out of fear as I landed on her head ����. If shame didn't kill me then, it can't kill me now, I was embarrassed. I apologized and sat up.

Kpakam, again?

Ah Sis, please no vex. It wasn't intentional I pleaded. If eyes could pierce the body ehn, I would have required stitches. This babe eyed the living daylight out of me. Mama was still praying obviously convinced now that I must be a witch.

I brought out my phone, tried chatting online to stop me from dozing off again, na lie!!!

Simultaneously as my phone dropped to the floor of the bus my face landed on this aunty's oshuka again, this time around even me jumped up and shouted "Jesus".

Before aunty raised her head again, I started apologizing. She was pissed.

Madam use water wash face.
Who get chewing gum give this madam abeg
E be like say Oga no give you chance sleep o

So called caring passengers were just running their mouths.

� cry I could not cry, � laugh I could not laugh. The sleep do me shege. I just kept my eyes fixed on the road as if I was dumb.

Luckily for me, I alighted first before others and quickly walked away from the bus but not before someone shouted, madam no go sleep waka enter motor front o���.

In my mind ehn, I already gave the guy 6 hot slaps ���. I no blame them.

=====

Despite the drama, I thank God that lady with the oshuka sat in front of me, if not I am sure I would have stepped down from that bus with a broken nose or forehead.

I was there already castigating her choice of hairdo not knowing it was a divine arrangement.

Be careful how you jump to conclusions o, you never can tell what the grand picture is.

Also, in your quest to show up, build an online business, nurture a facebook community, build your KLT factor, take your business to the global space and more, remember you are human not a robot, don't break down before you take a break.

Na who dey alive go enter 2022 o, don't let your village people win because someone says their 2022 has begun already, if anything happens you will have yourself to blame.

I am talking to myself as well, and I will consciously take the needed rest both physically and mentally going forward, WILL YOU JOIN ME?

Share if you are joining me...

ORIGIN OF MY WEIRD COMBO
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#VeryLongPost... Please read... Thank you
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Almost 12 years ago, I lost my DAD... December 21, 2009.
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Fours days to Christmas. A Black Christmas it was ����
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He was not the best of fathers but looking back now I would give anything to have him here with me so we could now laugh over what became a lifestyle way back in our bid to overcome hunger. Thank God for a mother who cushioned the effect of the struggle on her knees, selling her wrapper and borrowing foodstuffs on credit so we don't die of hunger.
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We had it rough at a point growing up, such that this slogan became our national anthem every time my dad tried to justify the lack of food at home.

"When the desirable is not available, the available becomes desirable"...����...

See endurance and accommodation of suffering and lack in the name of being content with what you have...tufiakwa
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He should have made us long for more and do all we could to be better, instead he made sure we used whatever we had at home while hoping it got better.
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Looking at empty cupboards in the kitchen, there was nothing except an empty palm oil bottle with stale oil at the bottom �� and a loaf of bread he luckily got as a gift for his children... That's how we lit the stove, melted the oil and cut the bread into slices for everyone... We ate and drank water and went to bed �...
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The next morning, I had to go buy food stuff on credit from a church member who began to hide whenever she saw me coming with my head lowered �... Now I can laugh... God punish poverty... I wonder where that lady is today, last I was home she no longer sells there. She tried for us, honestly....
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So as to make sure the food lasted, we would cook a big pot of stew and that served as soup for every other dish. Watery stew��.. At times we took dry garri and spread stew on top, chew and drink water hoping the garri will rise in your tommy and fill it. That's why I can use stew today to eat any swallow...
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Or we use okro, green and watery and pinch of stew as soup to swallow eba. Even if the garri cakes, we eat it like that. When soup finishes, we use eba and beans, or beans and garri... When we can't afford tomato for stew, egusi and bread or white rice came to the rescue.
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Other times, we chew bread and onions from the suya daddy buys while we keep the meat to soak garri the next day.

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Mum made sure pap was always in the house, we soaked and grind the corn ourselves... So pap and other ingredients began to unfold so long as we kept hunger at bay. That's how pap and groundnut or kulikuli was invented or pap and crayfish or termite (esunsun). ����...

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If you no chop, you go hungry...our taste buds had no choice than to adapt. Who dash monkey banana those years to know there was anything like fried rice.
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Those days mummy manages to attend a party and bring home those "executive takeaway packs inside polythene bag", ���... You know those types... Chai... It was new year celebration in the house that period.
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White rice and plain green okro soup nko �, or pap and agbono soup? Mummy will say, pretend it's agidi���... I would rather drink water. I couldn't stomach those. Or white rice and palm oil with grounded pepper... Chai �... God punish devil.
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See ehn, being able to eat these meals now not out of necessity but just to laugh at the devil is a surreal feeling you will not understand. You are free to attribute it to whatever, but only me knows moving beyond sharing head of fish with three other siblings while we soaked garri and wait for it to rise for 30mins is victory in itself.

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Now I can afford to finish two smoked fish if I please and that's just snacks o,���� not the main meal... Ah �������������. You will not understand.
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Today as always, I miss you daddy, wish I could taunt you now with those combination we used to keep body and soul together while we would laugh over it. You taught me so much and now I appreciate them even though I saw you then as the most heartless of human beings...
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My effizy daddy, Mr B one and only Sir Baky of life... I couldn't pay my last respect to you before you were buried immediately according to the Muslim tradition as your family are still Muslims... I know you would have wanted me to write my last two papers instead of having a spill over because you died. You taught me to be less emotional and decisive when it comes to matters like that and though I was a zombie throughout the examination period, I was able to make you proud in death by graduating as the best student in my department. ���
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My daddy, the one who taught me how to check for oil in a car, change flat tyre myself, add water to the radiator abi na caburator, check battery level and my tyres before driving. Who taught me to have an eagle eye as a driver, to see five poles ahead of me always so as to have ample time to divert if need be in case the road is not safe ( he was mostly looking out for road safety �)... He taught me traffic rules that driving school didn't teach me, taught me to be a "man and woman" especially for future sake as if he foresaw something �����... Those lessons are life savers now.
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He taught me emotional stability the hard way by abandoning me in the hospital for three days. I had ulcer and almost died, he didn't bother to check on me. God bless my darling mother who was there for me and still is, you will live long mama because I will spoil you big time, you watch and see. I came back home and he called me out by the car, while showing me how to check if my car was properly washed anytime I took it to a carwash by looking at the inner part of the tyre compartment, he asked if I knew why he didn't come to the hospital... ���... This man get mind o, stupid question but fear of his dirty slap will not allow me say it out loud...
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I looked at him and said no... And he looked at me and said he loves me but he had to let me know that the people I love will hurt me ��� in future, and I should learn to deal with the hurt and not allow it cripple me. He is not raising a "mushy mushy" daughter as a child so I have to learn to be tough if not people will play with my emotions. ��... Then it didn't make sense but over the last ten years..it has made a lot of sense over and over again,�������...
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I could go on and on....
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Maybe write a book about you someday...
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But for today, I just want to thank you for being the weird father that you were... For the life saving combo you taught me, for the pain and sacrifices, for the show of being heartless not knowing you were also hurting ���
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It's almost 12 years today I received that stupid phone call and all the person said was...

'Is that Seun? Your father is dead'...�����... Just like that o
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I love you Daddy
I miss you
Keep resting �
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I remain the first daughter you had whom you preferred that she had come as a boy instead, maybe that's why you were so tough on me, now I will never know but I am grateful still...
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It's still not goodbye yet �����
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Still, #ItCanOnlyGetBetter

#ComboOfLife
#ComboOrigin
#ComboLifeSaver
#SeunRobinson
#Author