need a native App developer in Ibadan.contact me on 09033672711 and also need a Google Adsense account if ready for sale.contact asap

Akpors was a very poor man in one of the worst
conditions you can think of. He had no wife, no
child, no money, his house leaked water
whenever it rained, a blind mother; in fact, he
had nothing you could write home about.
But one day he saw a magician who promised to
grant him only one wish.
Magician: Tell me one thing you wish, and I will
do it for you right now.
Akpors: Ok, no problem, I have only one wish, I
want my mother to see my wife carrying two of
my kids in my Hummer Jeep parked near the
swimming pool in one of my many mansions
situated in London city.
The magician fainted.

one word for akpors this time

Joke: Akpors the stupid passenger and
the ghost car

Akpors was on the road on a very dark and rainy
night trying effortlessly to get a taxi or car to
stop and pick him up. The storm was so strong
he could hardly see a few feet ahead of him.
Suddenly, he saw a car slowly coming towards
him which kept stopping every now and then,
Akpors without thinking about it, got in the car
and closed the door, just to realize there’s
nobody behind the wheel. The car started slowly.
Akpors looked at the road and saw a curve
approaching. Scared, he started to pray, begging
for his life. Then, just before he hit the curve, a
hand appeared through the window and turned
the wheel. Akpors, paralysed with terror, watched
how the hand appeared every time they came to
a curve, gathering strength to run a way from the
strange car, he jumped out of the car and ran to
the nearest street. Wet and in shock, he went to
a bar and asked for two bottles of beer. He then
started telling everybody about the horrible
experience he went through with the ghost car
being controlled by only a hand. Silence
enveloped everybody when they realized he was
crying and wasn’t drunk. About half an hour
later, two guys walked into the same joint, wet
and out of breath. Looking around and seeing
Akpors crying, one of them pointed at him and
shouted “you fool, na you go jump inside car
wey we dey suffer push for rain abi? idiot”.
Akpors almost fainted in shame!

Akpors was trying to toast Ekaitte his choir
mistress with the help of bible verses; the
following conversation ensued:
Akpors: Do you have a boyfriend?
Ekaitte: Nope. I don’t want to have a boyfriend.
Akpors: oh no!!!! Remember Genesis 2v18, The
Lord God said, It is not good for the man to be
alone. I will make a helper suitable for him.
Ekaitte: But I don’t love you.
Akpors: no, u just have to love me, remember
1John 4v8 “Who ever does not love does not
know God, because God is love.”
Ekaitte: But how can I be sure that you’re loyal
and honest?
Akpors: Mark 13:31 says “Heaven and earth will
pass away, but my words will never pass away.
Ekaitte: But I’m busy, I’m still studying.
Akpors: Yes dear but Ecclesiastes 3:1 said “There
is a time for everything, and a season for every
activity under the heaven.”
Ekaitte: But why me? There are a lot of girls out
there.
Akpors: Proverbs 31:29 “Many women do noble
things, but you surpass them all.”
Ekaitte: But what is in me that you like?
Akpors: Song of Solomon 4:7 “You are altogether
beautiful, my darling; there is no flaw in you.”
Ekaitte: no ooo, I’m not beautiful.
Akpors: Proverbs 31:30 “Charm is deceptive, and
beauty is fleeting; but a woman who fears the
Lord is to be praised.”
Ekaitte: Why all dis?
Akpors: 2 Corinthians 2:4 “For I wrote you out of
great distress and anguish of heart and with
many tears, not to grieve you but to let you
know the depth of my love for you.”
Ekaitte: waoooo, I’m flattered, I think I love you,
let’s start with you buying me an Iphone 6
Akpors: No dear, remember 1 John 2v15….love
not the world, neither the things that are in d
world
Ekaitte: omg!!! That reminds me, you don’t have
a job abi?
Akpors: don’t worry, Genesis 22v8 says GOD
WILL PROVIDE.
Ekaitte Fainted!
One word for Akpors this time?

In one of his first full interviews as President-elect,
Gen. Muhammudu Buhari discusses how he plans
to tackle Boko Haram while also warning Nigerians
not to expect a miracle when his administration
tackles the menace.
The interview which was conducted by the BBC’s
Peter okwoche questions about the gesture of
President Goodluck Jonathan in congratulating
him on his victory and his thoughts about Boko
Haram were thrown at the General.
In the interview the General says he feels fulfilled in
acheiving his goal after four attempts in becoming
president (2003, 2007, 2011 and 2015).
the interviewer asked: “were you surprised when
President Goodluck Jonathan called you to
concede defeat and say congratulations because
thats a new thing here in Nigeria”?
Buhari replied: “I am not surprised because he
(Jonathan) has been talking to international
community; United States especially Britain and I
think he is respectful of those countries and their
leadership but it was something extraordinary thaty
as commander in Chief and President that he
should allow the law to take its course, let the
Nigerian election be conducted according to law.
That is all they asked him”
He added; ” he signed an undertaking and I think
he did his best”
When asked about how he would go about fulfilling
his promises to Nigerians, Buhari replied; “I
wouldn’t have made the promises if I don’t know
how to go about it. We identified a number of
problems that is insecurity in the country which
everybody knows; the lack of employment which is
the situation of the economy generally by
corruption and corruption itself”
“This three fundamental problems, Nigerians know
it and we are asking Nigerians for their cooperation
and they should’t expect miracles to happen a
couple of months later because the situation took
so many years which is 16 years of the ruling
party’s rule of this country”.

He also expressed believe that Nigerians will give he
and his administration the opportunities to do what
they can.
Buhari was asked what tactics his adminstration
will use to tackle Boko Haram; “peaceful
negotiations or hitting them hard” in which he
asked “Hitting them with what?
He continued: “Boko Haram by the 14th
of February at the elections that was postponed,
were according to government calculations were in
charge of fourteen local governments. These are 14
local governments out of 774 local governments.
“If for five, six years the law enforcement agencies
including the military could not secure fourteen
local governments out of 774, how can I promise
miracles when i come?”
He added: “But with the cooperation of our
neigbours; Cameroon, Niger, Chad and the
international community and the commitment we
are going to get from the military, it will take us a
much shorter time to deal with them”
When told his party members are as corrupt as
those he plans to fight against and asked if he
would corruption to its fullest, Buhari said “I hope
you (the interviewer) and Nigerians will give me the
opportunity to see whether me effort will be good
enough or not”
Buhari reveals it all in one of his first
interviews as President elect discussing
how he will take down Boko Haram and
corruption

Abuja - The First Lady, Patience Jonathan has
begun to pack her belongings from the
Presidential Villa, reports Leadership.
Patience Jonathan on Tuesday after it became
clear that her husband has lost the election
summoned her domestic staff and ordered them
to start packing her personal belongings in
readiness for the change of guard.

As at Tuesday evening, two trucks have conveyed
the First Lady’s belongings out of the Villa.
It is, however, not clear where the belongings
were taken to.

Lagos - Rotimi Amaechi, the governor of Rivers
state and director general of the All Progressives
Congress presidential campaign organisation
said that his party would be humble in victory.
He added that the APC would aim to identify and
find solutions to all the things the Peoples
Democratic Party failed to do.
Speaking to journalists at the national secretariat
of the APC in Abuja, he said that even though
they were excited by the victory, the task ahead
was more important.
He proudly confessed that he could now tell his
children that he was apart of an opposing party
removing the current administration, a first in the
history of Nigeria.
If Buhari wins and President Goodluck Jonathan
steps down, it would mark the first time in
Nigeria's history that an opposition party has
democratically taken control of the country from
the ruling party.
Also read: INEC denies removal of Jega’s security
detail
Results from 31 states and the small Federal
Capital Territory amounting to some 22 million
votes showed Buhari leading by nearly 3 million
votes. Buhari crucially carried Lagos state,
Nigeria's commercial hub with the largest number
of voters, according to results announced
Tuesday.
Electoral officials said they were awaiting results
from just five states to give a tally of Saturday's
election and expected to announce a final count
later in the day.
"As for the election, we have won it!" Garba
Shehu, Buhari's spokesman, said outside the
party's headquarters that has been decked out
with celebratory bunting for days.
But "We are not out of the woods yet, we don't
know what tricks the government is going to
play."
In the northern city of Kaduna, a spontaneous
celebration of Buhari's followers sprang up.
Young men on motor scooters performed wheelies
as hundreds of youths chanted: "Change!
Change! Change!" and cars honked their horns in
support. In Kaduna state, Buhari took 1.1 million
votes to Jonathan's 484,000.
Britain and the United States warned Monday of
the possibility of political meddling in the final
count. Jonathan's campaign spokesman Femi
Fani-Kayode said that was "absolute balderdash"
and demanded evidence.
Garba said the opposition party's agents at more
than 150,000 polling stations across the country
"tell us that we have won, but our victory is still
threatened." The winning candidate must take
more than half of all votes and at least 25
percent of votes in two-thirds of the 36 states
and the Federal Capital Territory at Abuja.
The austere and strict retired general, who says
he is a convert to democracy, has promised that
if he wins he will stamp out an insurgency in the
north waged by Boko Haram, a homegrown
Islamic extremist group that has killed thousands
of people, many of them civilians, has kidnapped
even young girls, and has pledged fealty to the
so-called Islamic State.
Critics and supporters agree that Buhari is the
one leader who did not treat the country's
treasury as a personal piggy bank. During his
brief 1984-1985 dictatorship he rule with an iron
fist, jailing people even for littering, and ordering
civil servants who arrived late to work to do
squats. He gagged the press and jailed
journalists to cover up a deepening economic
crisis as prices tumbled for the oil on which
Nigeria's economy depends. He eventually was
overthrown by his own soldiers.
Nigeria's 170 million people are divided almost
equally between Christians mainly in the south
and Muslims like Buhari who dominate the north.
Buhari for the first time won states in the
southwest and even took one third of votes in a
southeastern state an unprecedented
development that some say reflects more of an
anti-Jonathan than a pro-Buhari sentiment.
The vote counting in Abuja was disrupted
Tuesday by a representative of Jonathan's party
who protested that the proceedings were partial
to Buhari. "We have lost confidence in you. You
are tribalistic! You are partial!" shouted former
Cabinet minister Peter Godsday Orubebe to the
chairman of the electoral commission counting
the vote. The opposition has also complained
that electoral officials are partisan. The count is
being carried out in the presence of party
representatives, national and international
observers and media.
There have been delays in about a dozen states
sending results to the counting center because of
logistical challenges that had election material
being delivered by air, road, speedboat, mules
and camels, spokesman Kayode Idowu of the
Independent National Electoral Commission told
AP.
Buhari's showing in his fourth bid to become
president was boosted by the formation of a
coalition of major opposition parties two years
ago. Its choice of Buhari as a single candidate
presented the first real opportunity in the history
of Nigeria to oust a sitting president.
Buhari also was able to count on considerable
voter dissatisfaction with the performance of
Jonathan, who has been president since 2010.
"If indeed Buhari becomes president, it sends a
clear message to the people in government that
you cannot take the people of Nigeria for granted
and that Nigerian democracy is maturing," said
journalist and political analyst Kadaria Ahmed.
She said Jonathan's perceived insensitivity to the
suffering of citizens caught up in the mayhem of
Boko Haram's uprising where some 10,000
people were killed last year and more than 1.5
million people have been driven from their homes.
The Nigerian military, with help from regional
troops, forced Boko Haram out of areas the
insurgent had taken in recent months as they
formed their self-styled "caliphate."
Because of decades of military dictatorship, this
is only the eighth election since the country won
independence from Britain in 1960, and the fifth
since democracy was restored in 1999.

Abuja - Nigerians had to forgive former military
ruler Muhammadu Buhari many sins for him to
win this weekend's election.
"The General", as his supporters now
affectionately call him, kicked out an elected
government in 1983, ushering in an era of
military dictatorship in Africa's most populous
nation that was to last 15 years.
During his 18 months in charge, he imprisoned
journalists and opposition activists without trial,
executed drug traffickers by firing squad and
ordered soldiers to thrash those who failed to
queue in an orderly fashion at bus stops.
Fittingly, perhaps, he was himself deposed in
another military coup.
"His rule was nasty, brutish and mercifully short,"
the Economist magazine wrote in a column last
month, describing the 72-year-old as less "awful"
than incumbent Goodluck Jonathan, whose years
in office have been plagued by corruption
scandals.
Ladi Netimah, a senior civil servant condemned to
65 years in prison by Buhari's junta for "doing
business while in government", has since forgiven
the general.
She served nearly four years of her sentence and
describes him as someone who "wanted things
done properly but went about it in the wrong
way".
"He was too heavy handed," she told Reuters.
But over the ensuing years, Buhari reinvented
himself as a democrat, and his four attempts to
take power peacefully demonstrated a
commitment to the ballot box if nothing else.
With many Nigerians upset at Jonathan's
performance, especially over their two biggest
bugbears, corruption and security, more and
more were prepared to overlook Buhari's past,
and its cobwebs of military austerity and
authoritarianism.
"Jonathan made it easy for Buhari by
disappointing so many people," popular Blogger
Tolu Ogunlesi told Reuters. "It was a case of
'Jonathan has to go and I will vote for anything
else'."
"Too young to remember"
The son of a canoe maker and the first president
since the 1999 restoration of democracy never to
have worn an army uniform, Jonathan started his
first term with much good will in his favour.
But it was quickly eroded, as he failed to face up
to an Islamist insurgency in the northeast and
corruption flourished.
His administration was beset by multi-billion
dollar graft scandals in the oil business. When
central bank governor Lamido Sanusi complained
that up to $20 billion was unaccounted for at the
state oil firm, Jonathan simply sacked him.
A perceived failure to take the Islamist Boko
Haram insurgency seriously at first did not bother
many Nigerians as most were not directly
affected.
But when the militants kidnapped more than 200
school girls from the town of Chibok last April,
provoking global outrage, his administration's
plodding response triggered protests that
ultimately played a part his downfall.
By contrast, Buhari's short rule in the 1980s
earned him a reputation as strongman with no
time for corruption or rebellion, both of which he
squashed.
His image as an ascetic wearing a simple kaftan
and spurning the champagne-fuelled lifestyle
enjoyed by much of Nigeria's elite, added to his
appeal.
But demographics may also have been a deciding
factor.
"More than two thirds of the population is under
40 and too young to remember Buhari," said Max
Siollun, author of "Soldiers of Fortune", a history
of post-colonial Nigeria.
More remarkable is the willingness of those
mistreated or imprisoned by "The General" to give
him another chance.
In January veteran journalist Tunde Thompson,
jailed for eight months by Buhari's junta under
the Orwellian-sounding "Decree 4", said he had
forgiven him and that Buhari was someone "who
can help bring discipline through democratic
means".
Similarly Netimah, who before her secret military
trial spent three weeks in a concrete cell with no
toilet and nothing to sleep on but a chair, said
she bore no grudges.
When she met her tormentor-in-chief years later,
the pair simply laughed about the curious twists
of Nigeria's turbulent history.
"I think he was just passionate about Nigeria,"
she said.

cum see new President at new month tank god say we do get change way we want abeg make inec announce we do know say na buhari oo

Abuja - From the results of the National Assembly
elections across the country, it is likely that the
Peoples Democratic Party (PDP) may lose its
dominance of the upper chamber of the National
Assembly in the next dispensation.
The results so far released showed that the All
Progressives Congress (APC) has won majority of
the seats in the election.
The APC will have three senators each from
Lagos, Oyo, Osun, Sokoto, Kebbi, Jigawa, Kano,
Bauchi, Gombe, Kogi, Niger and Kwara states.
It has two senators in Kaduna, Ogun, Ondo and
Nasarawa states and one from Edo:
The Senate has 109 members.

hope say u get money nigga cos this girls ready to suck u dry

omo u no see them ni dey be olosho. to WO skirt new luk at the pics see cigerette. and can beer even their make up

wch thing the man ride on shey na kekenape abi na okada

abeg guy dey give us update

dis wan na atewo for DAT babe wch dey cry on top for man

tai ' u no get #20 u fit give them the fact is that ur name go change from Mr man. to oga sir

ole u won marry moderator abi with DAT ur yeye luv

no worri shebi DAT wan na mile
12 bridge con follow mile 13 for here

dey no fit talk were dem dey nw(I Neva chop habit na Im dey kill

dey no fit talk were dem dey nw

oga una no get money na y she no fit wait try and see who she wan marri DAT person son dey OK .beta forget her and try to make it real hard

drink champagne and jekori pe in other to forget her

no blame the guy new love 4 1st site

u lost her already got to move on

yuglet