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Wetin dy happpen?

[color=#000099][/color]A guy is 86 years old and loves to fish. He was sitting in his boat the other day when he heard a voice say, "Pick me up."

He looked around and couldn't see any one. He thought he was dreaming when he heard the voice say again, "Pick me up."

He looked in the water and there, floating on the top was a frog. The man said, "Are you talking to me?"

The frog said, "Yes, I'm talking to you. Pick me up. Then kiss me and I'll turn into the most beautiful woman you have ever seen. I'll make sure that all your friends are envious and jealous because you will have me as your bride."

The man looked at the frog for a short time, reached over, picked it up carefully, and placed it in his front breast pocket.

Then the frog said, "What, are you nuts? Didn't you hear what I said? I said kiss me and I will be your beautiful bride."

He opened his pocket, looked at the frog and said, "Nah, at my age I'd rather have a talking frog."

After two years of selfless service, a man realized that he has not been promoted, no transfer, no salary increase, no commendation and that the company is not doing anything about it. So he decided to walk up to his HR Manager one morning and after exchanging greetings, he told the HR Manager his observation.

The boss looked at him, laughed and asked him to sit down saying; "My friend, you have not worked here for even one day."

The man was surprised but the manager went on to explain:

MANAGER: How many days are there in a year?
MAN: 365 days and some times 366.
MANAGER: How many hours make up a day?
MAN: 24 hours.
MANAGER: How long do you work in a day?
MAN: 8am to 4pm i.e. 8 hours a day.
MANAGER: So, what fraction of the day do you work in hours?
MAN: (he did some arithmetic and said 8/24 hours i.e. 1/3) One-third.
MANAGER: That is nice, what is one- third of 366 days?
MAN: 122 (1/3 * 366).
MANAGER: Do you come to works on weekends?
MAN: No sir.
MANAGER: How many days are there in a year that are weekends?
MAN: 52 Saturdays and 52 Sundays equals to 104 days.
MANAGER: Thanks for that. If you remove 104 days from 122 days, how many do you have now?
MAN: 18 days.
MANAGER: OK! I do give you two weeks sick leave every year. Now remove that 14 days from the 18 days left, how many days do you have remaining?
MAN: 4 days.
MANAGER: Do you work on New Year day?
MAN: No sir!
MANAGER: Do you come to work on workers day?
MAN: No sir!
MANAGER: So, how many days are left?
MAN: Two days sir!
MANAGER: Do you work on Independence day?
MAN: No sir!
MANAGER: Do you work on Christmas day?
MAN: No sir!
MANAGER: So, how many days left?
MAN: None sir!
MANAGER: So what do you need a promotion for? We should even be sacking you![color=]After two years of selfless service, a man realized that he has not been promoted, no transfer, no salary increase, no commendation and that the company is not doing anything about it. So he decided to walk up to his HR Manager one morning and after exchanging greetings, he told the HR Manager his observation.

The boss looked at him, laughed and asked him to sit down saying; "My friend, you have not worked here for even one day."

The man was surprised but the manager went on to explain:

MANAGER: How many days are there in a year?
MAN: 365 days and some times 366.
MANAGER: How many hours make up a day?
MAN: 24 hours.
MANAGER: How long do you work in a day?
MAN: 8am to 4pm i.e. 8 hours a day.
MANAGER: So, what fraction of the day do you work in hours?
MAN: (he did some arithmetic and said 8/24 hours i.e. 1/3) One-third.
MANAGER: That is nice, what is one- third of 366 days?
MAN: 122 (1/3 * 366).
MANAGER: Do you come to works on weekends?
MAN: No sir.
MANAGER: How many days are there in a year that are weekends?
MAN: 52 Saturdays and 52 Sundays equals to 104 days.
MANAGER: Thanks for that. If you remove 104 days from 122 days, how many do you have now?
MAN: 18 days.
MANAGER: OK! I do give you two weeks sick leave every year. Now remove that 14 days from the 18 days left, how many days do you have remaining?
MAN: 4 days.
MANAGER: Do you work on New Year day?
MAN: No sir!
MANAGER: Do you come to work on workers day?
MAN: No sir!
MANAGER: So, how many days are left?
MAN: Two days sir!
MANAGER: Do you work on Independence day?
MAN: No sir!
MANAGER: Do you work on Christmas day?
MAN: No sir!
MANAGER: So, how many days left?
MAN: None sir!
MANAGER: So what do you need a promotion for? We should even be sacking you![/color]After two years of selfless service, a man realized that he has not been promoted, no transfer, no salary increase, no commendation and that the company is not doing anything about it. So he decided to walk up to his HR Manager one morning and after exchanging greetings, he told the HR Manager his observation.

The boss looked at him, laughed and asked him to sit down saying; "My friend, you have not worked here for even one day."

The man was surprised but the manager went on to explain:

MANAGER: How many days are there in a year?
MAN: 365 days and some times 366.
MANAGER: How many hours make up a day?
MAN: 24 hours.
MANAGER: How long do you work in a day?
MAN: 8am to 4pm i.e. 8 hours a day.
MANAGER: So, what fraction of the day do you work in hours?
MAN: (he did some arithmetic and said 8/24 hours i.e. 1/3) One-third.
MANAGER: That is nice, what is one- third of 366 days?
MAN: 122 (1/3 * 366).
MANAGER: Do you come to works on weekends?
MAN: No sir.
MANAGER: How many days are there in a year that are weekends?
MAN: 52 Saturdays and 52 Sundays equals to 104 days.
MANAGER: Thanks for that. If you remove 104 days from 122 days, how many do you have now?
MAN: 18 days.
MANAGER: OK! I do give you two weeks sick leave every year. Now remove that 14 days from the 18 days left, how many days do you have remaining?
MAN: 4 days.
MANAGER: Do you work on New Year day?
MAN: No sir!
MANAGER: Do you come to work on workers day?
MAN: No sir!
MANAGER: So, how many days are left?
MAN: Two days sir!
MANAGER: Do you work on Independence day?
MAN: No sir!
MANAGER: Do you work on Christmas day?
MAN: No sir!
MANAGER: So, how many days left?
MAN: None sir!
MANAGER: So what do you need a promotion for? We should even be sacking you!

I was walking down the street sometime ago, then I saw a beautiful Bentley parked on the side way. I stopped for a minute to stare and admire it.

Just then I saw a Beautiful hot chick coming down the road. What's a brother gonna do? I quickly moved near the car and pretended it was my ride. I kicked a bit at the front tyre and stood by the side of the door. I could see her staring at me, sure enough she had fallen for me already (I thought to myself).

She walked towards me. I composed myself and faked a call to my mechanic while leaning on the door. Just then she approached me and said, "Excuse me!"

I pretended not to hear her as I threw around big amounts of money for spare parts.

After a minute she again said, "Excuse me sir!"

I lowered my phone and said, "Just a second sweetheart, let me conclude my last order." and continued on the phone (at this moment I was sure she had fallen for me, I could tell from her impatience).

Suddenly I shouted, "If you don't get here in 10 minutes, I'll leave this car here and take a cab home!"

But just as I moved away from the door, She looked at me, opened her handbag, removed a bunch of keys that looked like car keys, opened the door, hissed at me, entered and drove off.

My mouth was left opened for 5 minutes.