We need useful help on how to go about it, talking about birth control is crying when the head is already off.

That's why am deciding to end it now.

Any useful information on how to go about it will be appreciated.

Please, how can I get these medications. The lockdown is affecting pharmacies and some that are open don't have in stock.

Its needed urgently.

8 weeks.

2 kids already, not ready for another one and the health and financial implications are heavy.

Help needed.

I have decided I don't want to go ahead with this pregnancy.

Please, any useful advice of how to terminate? Its still 8 weeks.

Thanks.

Bluezy13:


So other children did not bring her good luck, it must be the one at stake that will bring her good luck, abi
Same lies we were that we were the leaders of tomorrow...which is today.

Since the unborn child will bring good luck, what stops you from taking over this wailing lady's responsibilities so that you can share from the good luck too

Please Bluezy13, easy, please. Everybody is entitled to their opinion, I appreciate your candid advice, believe me but also let every other person express themselves, these opinions might also help others not just me going through same dilemma.

In marriage, its not easy to just DON'T GET PREGNANT, its marriage, even when there is conflict sometimes you have to give in to your partners wants. Not saying prevention was not an option but "shit happens".

Am really trying to analyse it, if things were financially balanced, would I be at a cross roads concerning this?
The finance would be there to cover both domestic help and bed rest.
Many married people are presently out there now who are going through same problem, I have two - that's actually not much but the whole thing is sticky now being a one person funded marriage.

I appreciate everyone's opinion. Thank you.

Hmmmm,,,,,,thank you all.

Please, I honestly need advice so I don't make a wrong decision.

Am married. No job. Partner is struggling financially. Two kids on ground.

I am pregnant and am thinking if I should terminate.

Its still very early but am at a loss.

Already am so sick, can't even manage caring for the kids, and normally the sickness is constant until the baby comes, I have no other person to help with chores and the kids and partner is mostly out.
Financially, the struggle is so much, hoping we won't be kicked out soon and now am pregnant.
Is it wise in a country as this to keep this baby?

Hello,

Came upon this thread and its unfortunate how people take things for granted and make jokes of very serious matter.
This man is worried and needs help so he came anonymously to ask. In my opinion, he like the lady and would want her to be better that's why he is worried.
The vagina smells easily not necessarily due to dirtiness, also due to infections which are picked up easily from toilets and clothes, not having access to clean properly after urinating especially if tissue has been used all day and no access to clean water and towel to dry.
First, you need to tell her in love please, not with disgust on your face or through watsapp like you planned. Just see her and tell her that you understand that the vagina can smell sometimes but you noticed that hers has a stronger smell and you have some suggestions she can use to try and improve on it.
1. If its purely out of poor personal hygiene, she needs to learn to wash properly when she baths, when she urinates and when she does number 2. Then dry properly, the vagina doesn't thrive well when its wet, fungi and bacteria breeds faster that way. When she washes, she MUST NOT put soap INSIDE her vagina, it will make the smell worse, she can wash all around the surface thoroughly with soft soap and rinse properly then proceed to the second step below.
2. Get gloves of garlic, the local one not the large imported one. Peel 5-6 depending on the size. Chop it up into twos but remember the exact amount.
3. Wash the pubic area normally, don't scrub with sponge, don't scratch with your nails, just wash with water and soft soap, dry and proceed to 4 below.
4. Bend low and insert all the garlic into the vagina, not too far in, but far enough to reach and remove but let it go in, don't be scared. Do this on a day you are home, so you won't be self conscious but you can also go out with it, just wear a pant.
It will pinch seriously the first few minutes, bear it, it shows its fighting the microorganisms. Go about your day as usual, it won't smell and it won't fall out.
5. After a minimum of 4 - 5 hours with the garlic in you, get a bowl of hot water, preferably small paint bucket or a bucket you can easily sit on so you get the steam of the hot water into the vagina and its surroundings , make the water half the bucket or enough for the steam to rise into your body, note: what you need is the steam from the hot water, not the hot water directly on your skin please.
Add a few DROPS of dettol or Purit or any other one you have but NOT IZAL or BLEACH. If you don't have any, just add some salt, a handful is fine.
6. Sit on the steam for as long as you can bear, sit and stand when it burns but sit as long as possible or when steam has reduced.
7. Finally, stick your finger in and remove all garlic, count to make sure its complete, if not, don't panic, just bend very low like you want to pee on the ground, open your legs, use your finger and get hem out, also your can put it out to assist your fingers. When its all out, rinse with warm water alone, have a bath normally, dry your vagina properly with a clean towel and go about your day.

Do this as often as once every week and in 3 weeks, you will notice a very distinct positive change in the aura around your vagina. Thereafter, do it once every two or three weeks. But in a month, do it at least once, preferably after your period.
Shaving is not a criteria for clean pubic area, it needs more attention though but a bushy pubic doesn't equal stinky pubic.
Shaving is a personal choice.

Guys, share with your ladies, wife or any other lady important yo you.

Have a nice day.

Hello all,

Just checking to make sure we are staying safe, and if you or anybody you know is sick with the virus, just take care of yourself and it will surely pass. Be strong.

Am still alive, to the glory of God, my kids are doing OK. I can't believe I lasted this long but honestly, when I want to give up, those little ones make me keep fighting. Thank you to those who passed on a word or two of advice, I appreciate.

I gathered small change and started a very small scale business, tough but I struggled. On my own and still supporting my kids, I was able to save 25k after expenses. When the pandemic got bad and hand sanitizers were scarce, I decided to put all my resources into making a good product to sell and make some money. My product was very good as I refused to cut corners, so I invested all my money into it but for some reason, it couldn't sell as people said it was expensive, though it was because as at the time I bought materials for production, prices had tripled. I even made labels to boost its authenticity because I had intention of continuing in that line even after the pandemic has seized. I had high hopes.
The product didn't sell, I tried and tried. I even reduced the prices drastically, way below production price just to get the product out but alas so many other products had flooded the markets and people were skeptical. After so much tears, I prayed about it and got a revelation to give it out for free which I did. I went to a charity and gave it all to them asking them to please give to those who need it but can not access it due to scarcity or lack of money. I was and I am still relieved and happy I did that. Fulfilled in fact.
But, I feel sad knowing am starting from scratch again. NGN25,000 might seem like peanut, but i know how i started from 2k+ to grow that money even while feeding my kids and running some other expenses. Am proud of myself. Am not scared, if I did it before, I can do it again.

Just gathering my thoughts and using this lockdown to plan and pray.

If somehow you stumbled upon this thread and it resonates with you, please hang in there. ITS NOT EASY, I will not tell you lies, its tough but always remember you are tougher. I cry a lot and now I feel the tears because I know the pain but please, don't give in to evil, don't sell yourself for money, no outside man will take care of you and your children just like, no matter how tough it is, hang in there. I know what hunger is and I know lack so don't think I don't understand. Just give the children food, no matter how poor the food is,children are very unassuming, give the food with laughter and jokes, they will eat it. Somehow, someone will come to your aid once in a while.
I cut my hair because it was extra expenses and would make me look unkempt if undone.
I buy data on my phone when I can afford it to keep me sane and be up to date since I can't keep human friends anymore, too much to explain and too much judgement.

I pray this virus comes under control and we go back to our lives, better now because we have learned during the lockdown how to really survive.

Thank you for taking time to even read through this, I appreciate.

Am so down presently.

Just lost my job, my family's sole source of income. I even went to the HR to plead for the sake of my children but nothing,,,,,company was downsizing,,,,17 of us was affected.

The worst part now is that I had to quickly pay off my loans as I had even defaulted severally and was being threatened with external collectors. To the glory of God, I have paid them all off and now am close to broke. What I have left now can't even go beyond a month or two, am so scared. I have supported myself with this job for many years,,,,,covered my shame with it, was able to borrow because I had a job.....now no more job. Am feeling hopeless.
The devil is whispering its over.
Am so disturbed, I can't even think straight on what next.
Am a tither and seed sower,,,,,why this is happening, I don't know.

I really don't know.

I wish I could believe deep in my heart that its going to be alright, but right now, am so depressed. What would become of my children now?
Am so weak for the past days, so tired without doing anything.

I greatly feel like having a strong drink but I have been off that for sometime now, can't go back that dark road.

Am so sad

Jesus I need your help

Please advice her not to do that.
I know it might sound funny what am about to say and even funnier if she went to school to get a degree but please tell her there are other hard options.
She could try and see if this LAWMA people sweeping in their area will connect her to how they get the job, she can sweep in the mornings and still have the rest of the day free, its hard,,,yes but doable.

She could start informing people around her area or church/ mosque that she can wash clothes or clean houses,,,,its hard, but doable.

She can also try nanny job,,,,,talk to place of worship members or area people ,,,word of mouth does wonders,,,,,,,

She can even get employed by cleaning agents,,,,that clean companies, party and churches, at least salary comes monthly,,,very small but your integrity is intact and she can at least feed.

Prostitution is not the last option, in fact its not an option.

Trust me when I say so.

Gathering audience?

Am confused.

nlPoster:


Some of your statements in your OP are very suspicious.


And knowing how nlers base 98% of their social lives and existence on people's marriages, any topic referring to marriage is always guaranteed to generate an audience here.

In view of that, you probably should edit your post and remove the controversial phrases. So people dont give advice that would give them.

I still don't understand.

Please point them out to me if you can.

I know many women and men, especially women are wearing same shoes as me but can't speak because of the criticism they will receive, because of their position at work, church, community or even family so they stay quite and then take the frustration out on the poor kids.
I noticed I was tending towards that and had to ask for help from God to control my anger especially when the kids were acting up, the are kids after all but the tendency to lose it when they start with their tantrums and what not is very easy. I consciously tame my anger when am around them because they did absolutely nothing to me,,,,they are blessings to me. Not many children are that lucky because of what 1 spouse is doing to the other negatively.
Nigerians especially can be very judgmental.

Most times, people just need a bit of sympathy,,,,,,a bit of awareness that someone somewhere understands what is happening,,,,,,just a word or 2 that its going to be fine.....or finally just hard truths then viable solutions.

I shooed away all the prayer people in my initial post because they come and tell me only about my mistakes and sins and what the bible say and how I am going to keep suffering because I caused it myself, no word of advice, no encouragement, just condemnation.

nlPoster:
OP your language is too hard for any discussion.

Pray for your husband, if your story is true.

Think about how you can have a forgiving spirit so you dont encourage anti social behaviours you dont like in yourself.

I see you just opened this account today.

I apologise if I come across as hard, maybe all this time of trying and failing, expecting but disappointed must have hardened my tone.

My story is very true and I hope talking here helps me in ways that can not be explained.

Yes, I just opened the account, so its easy for people to just give their opinions without judging you based on your past posts on NL.

This is a real story. I have struggled with depression even before I got married and it only got worse because of what started happening, I have been suicidal but remembered that my kids need me and people will end up saying I killed myself because of a man. No, I have this deep sadness growing in me and I just want to open up to people.
You are only alone when you don't say whats wrong.
That's why I opened a new account.
No judgement, just be emphatic, if you can.

mumumugu:


before marriage a man is confident because of funds. after marriage, money reduces.he is angry wants to improve his esteem by making more money..yet you talking love. if you love his esteem add to his source of income without removing from it

Thank you for your response.
I have never taken AWAY from him, God is my witness, all I have done is try to lift him up.
But isn't it selfishness when he thinks only about his esteem? What about his partner's mental wellbeing. This is marriage and not competition between two people on who makes more money. Its supposed to be team work.
Thank you anyway.

theButterfly:

Yes, you've both come far.

If you've never gone for counseling together, do go asap.

I wish you and your husband all the best.

Thank you, I have suggested the counselling, he refused or would say he is busy and when I went ahead alone and the counsellor later called to speak to him, he was furious saying I am selling him out. I have covered for him for years and still when I tell him we are communicating as we should he feels am being dramatic,,,,,I have to speak to someone because I am going crazy with so many thoughts in my head.

@Stanliwiser, thank you.

nlPoster:


Why the especial bile for the so called holier than thous?

None of who are on the thread btw. What gave you the impression they'd be preaching to you about your nl topic when the site is known for fake tales?


And you did move on to something else even without anybody preaching to you, not so? My only comment here is wedding is not marriage, that's all.

Bile,,,special... OK.

Nobody forgets their first time,,,,,,maybe that is why religion always insists your first time should be within the vows and bond of marriage.

stanliwiser:
love is different from like.
All your characteristic will only make people like you including the He in your long blog post.
simple as ABC

I already said it was going to be long, you don't need to point that out.

If am correct, you are saying my characteristics doesn't fit LOVE rather LIKE,,,,,,.

Please. Help a sister,,,what characteristics can make me lovable? Am open to learn.

Interesting.

Leoniine:


because they believe the "more opposite," the sweeter or most compatible...?

And, it's kind of interesting to be with someone different from who you are. Different mindset, perceptions, personalities and so on.

With my small experience, I think its better to be with someone on the same track with you in almost every,not all but almost,,,it really helps in understanding the other party, because you can almost read them like a book. My opinion.

theButterfly:
That you "were off and on friends and lovers for about 8 - 9 years" meant you were breaking up with each other repeatedly, which was a warning sign, imo. Some people are really just meant to be friends and that's all.

Sometime along the way, I actually felt so, but alas, we have come this far,,,,I don't know what to say again.

Blakjewelry:
i dont know why and how people always attract the opposite of them

Hmmmmm, me too,,,,,me tooo.

Mood11:
Your husband is frustrated.. And he is taking it out on you.

The only thing that can help him is getting a job or a business. With time, once he begins to do something productive you will see he will calm down.

Don't give up. May you find strength and peace to carry on.

It is not easy.

Really praying he finds something that suits his taste,,,at least I want my old friend back.
I won't give up. Thank you.

Cutehector:
It is not wrong my dear. You have really tried especially in terms of providing.


Please no matter what happens, do not let the devil tempt you to cheat on your husband..

I haven't in all this time,,,,by his grace I won't. Thank you

Is it wrong to want to feel loved, ?

Am married with kids.
Working class.
Very funny,
Fun to be with,
Dreamy,
Intuitive
Very curious
About 35-39
And TOO down to earth.

But very very lonely.

**Warning*** This MIGHT BE A LONG READ,,,,MIGHT.

So we were off and on friends and lovers for about 8 - 9 years and somehow, we got married then baby no. 1 came 3 months later because I was already pregnant before the marriage. YES,,,please don't tell me I was already living in sin before the marriage, I was in fact swimming in it ( for all the holier than thous planning to preach up in here, I already confessed my sin so move on to something else).
2 years later baby no. 2 arrived and then no. 3.

We used to be so happy or so I thought. It used to be me and him against the world.

He made so much promises and 7 years down the marriage not one has been fulfilled. Simple and small promises,like he would definitely go back to school and get his degree, he would always make me happy, extended family would never come between us, he would try within his power to make sure i don't shed sad tears and so forth,,,,,simple promises.....

For the record, he has never paid a single bill since the marriage even before because I saw so much prospect in him, and I was willing to cover for his inadequacy, I so believed in him, he had this hustling spirit, was funny, kind and very homely. He truelly was a nice person and I never felt bad denying myself just to care for the family financially and emotionally. Sex was very OK and satisfying, so please, this is not about sex.

Resentment started when I suggested he help fill in the gap when it comes to being available for the kids, since my job takes up more time and brings in more so there won't be so much lapse between us parents and the kids even if we had a nanny who does a great job. Little stuff like drop them off at school in the morning on his way out for hustle, call the nanny regularly to check and speak to them, once in a while do their homework with them and most importantly spend time with them especially weekends and holidays if we can, ( I spend ALL my weekends and holidays when i really can with my kids, don't regret it). He felt it made less of a man, he wants to be out there, fine, but how much is out there bringing in, there are bills to pay, children to feed and general expenses that comes with raising a family. Am not earning millions but it can hold the seams of the family financially just enough, don't I deserve a bit of respect and accolade once in a while from my supposed partner? No, instead I get grumblings that I complain too much and I get angry too easily. Please, why won't I get angry when for example, I go to work on a Saturday,( he is forced to be home because no nanny on weekends) and when I rush back home after work, the house is completely upside down, kitchen is a huge mess, kids running amok and looking like they have been watching TV all day, no food available ( just to help me bring it out of the freezer to defrost before I come, I cook all the family meals) I have to start trying to melt food fast because me am even starving, clothes i put in the washing machine before I left by 5am are still in there, he jumps out of the house immediately I get in, and before am finally ready for bed, sometimes its 11pm and he is not yet back, when he does return he is reeking of alcohol,,,and when I get angry he starts complaining that why am I getting angry? Please, is it fair?
I have begged him severally to get a job but he insists he wants his own business as he can not be answerable to anybody.

He is never home and when he is,,,its either he is asleep because he was out all night according to him hustling or he is on his phone watching facebook and youtube videos. No interaction with the family unless I force him.
All our family outings has been by force from me,,,,,keeps telling me he is not that kind if person but he feels very happy being out on his own.
I have never attended a party or wedding or social gathering of any sort with him,,,he goes behind my back and when I see pictures or the clothes he used, he says it was nothing jare, that he didn't really spend much time there.

He tries to shut me up when we are having a simple argument, he would scream and yell or just walk away.

His family barge into our home whenever and however they choose, he never informs me but I had to take a stand on that as I was slowing losing my home.

Like I said before, sex used to be good but now non existent.

He doesn't look at me,,,,I could have a swastika carved on my forehead and he wouldn't notice.
I have called him severally for talks and all he does is remind of my faults which I honestly accept and try to work on but he never agrees he does anything wrong. For the longest time before we stopped having sex, he had to get drunk or high on weed, and I have honestly told him I wasn't comfortable with that but he wouldn't stop.
God knows I have been patient for years and have nearly fallen into temptations in the past but had to pull myself out before I went too deep.

Am human and I deserve real affection too.

I don't know but in recent times, am really lonely because I don't really have friends or time to even hang out with friends. Asides from my kids that make being alive still worth it, am just lonely.

Is it wrong I wish someone would appreciate me and honour me and I do same for the person because I know it will be appreciated, is it wrong am having that longing?


Please,,,all the WAR ROOM fellows,,,,go and sleep.
I pray.
Am human.