Stats: 3,172,809 members, 7,886,178 topics. Date: Thursday, 11 July 2024 at 02:28 AM |
Nairaland Forum / Tendy08's Profile / Tendy08's Posts
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sassysure:Let me chip in here sassy sure I understand the point you're trying to drive home but I'd say this approach isn't the best to use on someone in his position. We preach forgiveness so easily, but in reality, it's difficult to do, especially in a case like his. It's easy to let go and purge when there's remorse from the abusers, but this is clearly not so with him. His folks do not acknowledge they abused him and his feelings too are not validated. It's as if he's just out to make trouble while they go around, acting like nothing happened. I've been there...the pain is indescribable. People who should be your allies, turn around and gang up against you because they are older. Making you feel like you're insane for saying they wronged you. Whatever wrong done to you is turned on its head is dumped on you. What am I trying to say- while I agree it's best to forgive and let go, I also understand why he seems stuck where he is at the time and the struggles he's faced with. Seeking revenge is what makes him human, not because he's evil. It's totally normal to see people who hurt you being paid back in their own coin. Don't berate him for that. He can only step out of this situation better when he finds the love and support he craves for. Judging and slamming him for being human isn't the way to go. The pain of betrayal by loved ones runs deep. All he needs is encouragement, love, support from people who won't judge him further but just for once; listen to the pains that lie in his heart. Op, if you're reading this, i'd recommend therapy. You need to work through the stages of abuse you've gone through. You need to understand why they happened, possible see if in any way, you played a role in enabling it. You need to unburden and release the pent up pain. Only then will your healing start. I'm sure once you start to feel better, the thought of revenge will ebb gradually. Stay strong and may light find its way to you 4 Likes |
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I kinda agree with few of the points raised by Restroom but I'd like to add this: Being a parent goes way beyond providing food, shelter, clothing and material stuff. It is absolutely normal for a young child to seek validation from the parents. Parents are in most cases, the most trusted being a child knows. So it's paramount for parents to provide not just material stuff, but strong emotional support for their children. Yes, it's always alluded that every parents' wants the best for their child, so even when they're being excessively controlling and damaging, people still manage to tie it to " wanting-the- best. Unfortunately, that's not always true. There's a level which claims of protecting a child comes to, that it becomes destructive and in this case, the damage caused by extreme lack of emotional connection between father and son, put-downs are already evident, hence the self esteem/complex issues. Judging by the op's narrative, he's also clearly a codependent child who cannot hold his own. Op, it's good that you realise you have issues, as that's the 1st step to your healing. You've suffered abuse and neglect from someone who should be your closest ally and that can be quite damaging. Don't let anyone make you believe it's your fault you turned out this way, you're only a child whose emotional growth was stunted at an early age, cos of the abuse experienced. It's not your fault that you crave for a more loving relationship with your parents. Those things you feel you should have may not be best for you at the time, but it's left for your parents to make you understand why. You having business ideas is not bad too, if that's really what you want to do. All you need at this time is direction on how to channel those thoughts and ideas properly. You're not selfish for not easily accepting your adopted sister, as I can totally relate with the reason you gave for that, but you should strive to let go and accept her as a part of you. In all honesty, I think your father has "Narcissisitic Personality Disorder" and your mum is sort of an enabler. You may want to research on this topic and see if it explains somethings about you and your family dynamics that plaques your mind. Like some people already advised, you need to start to develop a sense of self and purpose for you. You have a voice; find it and use it rightly. No one has the right to put you down and make you feel miserable, not even your parents. Take decisions on your own and pursue your goals too, not your parents. You may stumble and fail at first, but never stop believing in yourself. You are all you need to lead a fulfilled life. You need to take on challenges and break down those barriers you've set up in your mind, and when the light comes through, you'd start to feel better about yourself. Parents should learn to treat their wards as separate humans not as objects or extensions of themselves. Kids are like blank slates, whatever we put in there, sticks. The need to build up our children cannot be overemphasised as they tend to see themselves through our eyes. Stay blessed and strong. 1 Like |
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Going by some assertions here, a child has no rights of his/her own in dealing with the parents. Well, that's a lie cos every human, adult or child deserves respect. Even the bible that states about honoring ones' parents, also went to admonish parents not to provoke their children to wrath. Poster, your mum cursing you over some monthly contribution and heated argument speaks more of your mothers' personality, not yours. She has deep issues which she needs to address, but won't, hence the transference of anger. Like a nairalander already said; you didn't put her in that situation but try to be more empathic. That's all. Do the much you can for her, but never mortgage your life and happiness for anyone. You have a whole life ahead of you to live, so don't let anyone walk all over you and steal your peace. Not even your parents have that right. Cheers! 2 Likes |
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@Blowback Part of the info you put out there is erroneous and I thought to point it out, so you can correct that. The recommended sleeping position for infants below 6months is, lying on the back or at most, by the side. Putting infants on their tummies is a no no, as the position narrows their airways and makes it difficult to expel regurgitated food, while asleep. Here's a link for more info. You can also check online to garner enough information https://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/sudden-infant-death-syndrome/symptoms-causes/syc-20352800 on this. BlowBack: |
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Let me but in at this point for clarification sake. The recommended sleeping position, is, lying the baby on his/her back. Babies, especially below 6months shouldn't be put on their tummies, please. You can refer to this link for more information. https://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/sudden-infant-death-syndrome/symptoms-causes/syc-20352800 AuroraB: |
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ventilation: Is this the same broadcast message you got too. I never even read it, until you mentioned of a broadcast and I checked to see if it about this and sure, it is.
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yomz1e: Maybe you should have read the comment i quoted to fully grasp where I'm coming from. A ban was placed cause our produce didn't meet export standards. It's a punitive measure that helps put us in check and naturally, the agencies in charge would have gone back to the drawing board to see what can be done to lift such ban, so why hinge it on Buharis trips. Even in nairaland, people are banned when they fail to conform to rules guiding the forum and in most cases, bans are lifted after sometime. |
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Izontubo: I wan give you a million likes for this. I'm stil wondering how this translates to our presidents' trips yielding result. Did Buhari go begging or what?. Please poster, get your facts right and stop looking to score cheap points. 1 Like |
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For those that got the "Wrong/invalid number" response, please ensure there's no spacing in between the numbers.eg: ABC 12 DF. I tried at first with the numbers spaced out like the eg above and got the invalid response. I then tried the 2nd time removing the spaces(ABC12DF) and it checked save for the incomplete registration jargon. Hope this helps. 2 Likes |
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Oh No...This is so sad. Take heart dearie! |
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Happy new year house. |
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Hello House. Still on the matter still. ![]() Please do the needful. Link remains: https://cussonsbabymoments.com/details/503 |
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Good day people. I don come again. Please keep the votes coming. Tanx |
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I'm back again.... ![]() ![]() Thanks always. |
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How the going dey go? Keep it coming still. Just click on the link: http://cussonsbabymoments.com/details/503. It takes just a few seconds or a minute, max. Thank you guys! |
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Happy Sunday house. Still on the matter... ![]() Keep it coming, please. |
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Good afternoon house. Keep it coming! |
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Thank you for the votes so far. Every single one counts and we appreciate. Please keep voting for this lil angel. Cheers! |
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New day with new opportunities. Keep it coming! |
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Morning people, Trust we are good today. Still on the matter oh and the link remains https://cussonsbabymoments.com/details/503. Tank u guys and a great day to us all |
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Still on the matter...Please make your votes count for us. Simply click on the link: http://cussonsbabymoments.com/details/503. Tanx people |
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#singing.....I will never let you go, unless you vote for me ![]() ![]() Hi people, I'm back again and voting just got easier. You don't have to go through the hassle of looking through pictures of other babies to find this sweet dude. Just click on this link: https://cussonsbabymoments.com/details/503 and you'll be directed to my cuties page. Click on the button and voilà....ur vote adds up! Cheers people. |
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Keep the votes coming please. Tanx |
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Oya shake body ![]() ![]() ![]() |
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Tanx people...i see d votes are coming up. Please we need more people to vote. Keep it coming guys! Dalu nu so (Weldone) |
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Chibaby87: Tanx Chibaby87. Please click on the link and vote for him. We need to secure his spot so he can be moved to the next stage. Nairalanders, where una nah?. Come make your sister/member proud nah....LOL |
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jabojafa: Awwh...Thank you my brother oh. Una morning oh. Nairalanders, make una help una sister now and vote for my baby. Lalastical...Help us here, abeg. |
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Please oh my people...na beg i dey beg una. Don't just view and go away. Help and do the needful. Tanx and blessed night to us all. |
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Brandnew2: Na so I see am oh. Biko, click on the link and vote for us. Tanx a lot. |
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LOL...i can totally relate with this. My 3 year old won't brush no matter the tactics you apply. So na by force tinz oh. |
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talktonase: LOL...Please go vote for him. Tanx |
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Hello nairaland family... Please vote for my lil man, DILICHUKWU JAYDEN KEN-AGUNOBI to win Cussons Baby Moment Competition. Simply click http://cussonsbabymoments.com. Then Click "View Gallery" to reveal all contesting babies. Scroll down to his name (DILICHUKWU JAYDEN KEN-AGUNOBI). To vote, you have to be logged on your Facebook account, then click "LIKE BUTTON" under his name/picture to add your vote. Ain't I cute...Thanks a bunch! 3 Likes |
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