Stats: 3,189,305 members, 7,936,893 topics. Date: Sunday, 01 September 2024 at 07:06 AM |
Nairaland Forum / TheCOB's Profile / TheCOB's Posts
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mediocre: hello Welldone for being sincere. if you keep that up we would achieve our goal. First, you need to understand that the goal here is not to break your relationship. The bitter truth is that you are not handling the relationship in a healthy way. In a healthy relationship, you should love your partner but not to the point of near-obsession where you could consider dying if she leaves. This project is aimed at teaching your mind that you can survive come-what-may. That way, you don't have to grovel all the time and beg for her affection. You would need sheer willpower, please muster it. We are starting the count again from todaY. Let's see how far you can go ![]() ![]() 3 Likes |
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Mediocre you are owing 2 days update already.... Please kindly update us so we can be sure absence of your babe hasn't killed you. We need you alive please. ***** kaleydd2000 howdy ![]() ******* CplusJason no update from you to.... ***** Top of a great morning everyone! Twaci and teejaypee thanks for following "In pursuit of goodness" 1 Like 1 Share |
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Cc: kinglekan 1 Like |
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"Look I have told you before, Jide and I are just friends. Stop all these your plenty thoughts joor". That was me again on another denial scenario with the girls. They just wouldn't get off my case. And just when I had thought to hear the last of it, Nkechi sprang up "Abi you de fear say because of that Ajebo pikin wey de gum body for am?" As all attention returned back to the topic, I cringed inwardly. Nkechi was usually the brash one, always saying things exactly as she thought them to be regardless of their obvious wrongness. That day though, she was right. I was really scared of competing with Nike - The Ajebo pikin. However, I wasn't about to let myself appear as the loser and so I rose in my defense - "Babes na lie na, who she be? Y'all know that if I wanted Jide I would get him and very easy too". Well, that was a lie and everyone present in that room knew it. I was no match for Jide but trust Nkechi with her evil ways "See this one de make mouth o! Oya na prove am, if that bobo ever look you pass sisterzoning, na me Nkechi go personally make sure say CHEM 350 lecturer no ever disturb you for this school again!". We all turned to look at Nkechi each for different reasons. You see,rumor had it that our friend Nkechi was a runz girl and slept with lecturers for grades. Infact I had once heard that she did something with a cultist and the guy had threatened all the lecturers to do her bidding or die. I had never believed them, because I mean, She was my roomie and a good friend at that. But today, right before our faces, she had unwittingly acknowledged the fact that she had some connection with our lecturers capable of getting Dr. Lawal off my neck. Well, I could only care less about her methods, getting the old flirty man of me was enough incentive to make me even grovel at her feet. And here, I didn't even need to grovel, I only had to get Jide show them himself as being all over me. How hard could it be? I giggled with excitement at the thought of telling Jide the plan I had hatched in my mind. Naturally mischievous and known for being the lady's man, Jide was gong to love my idea! I looked up at Nkechi with a defiant expression on my face, fire in my eyes and mischief in my smile saying "Game on Sister!" She laughed at the ridiculousness of my pose shaking my hands simultaneously as she re-echoed my words "Game on Sister!" And so it was, "Game on!" 3 1 Like 1 Share |
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My first wrong assumption was: "We are just platonic friends. Nothing can ever happen" I was so certain of this assumption such that I even made a promise to him that if I ever felt anything romantic for him, I would tell him so we could douse it together. And for so long I deceived myself in that assumption. I mean everyone could see that I was all over him, but sincerely, I couldn't see it. In a group of friends I would pick him out and he spent more than half of his waking periods in my room. We would laugh, play, quarrel and argue, settle and start the cycle over again. Looking back, I cherish those pure and innocent times. 2 1 Like 2 Shares |
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Hello, I'm not exactly a writer but I'd like to share a story mainly to benefit those I discuss relationship matters with. The idea is so we can pick up some lessons here and there. Pardon any literary mistakes made as the main intent is to pass across a message to my audience. Also, please help me by not stealing the story without my permission. It is a true story and I'd really appreciate that you do not exploit the sacredness of a story that means so much to me. Thank you. I would update it once a week in order to keep up with my busy schedule. Thanks for understanding. TheCOB, 8/1/17. ************************************************* Jide and I had been friends for 4 years, best friends for 3 of those years. We shared everything - The joys, hopes, dreams, and even disappointments. He was the first person I wanted to share my achievements with and I had no doubt I could turn to him at the depth of my despair. Every friend of ours knew us together and probably gossiped a lot about how foolish I seemed to be. Foolish? I guess you are wondering why. You see, I was in my 300 level and Jide was in his final year. He was one of the populars and I was one of those girls no one ever noticed in class. To make matters even worse, Jide was dating Nike. Nike (unlike yours truly), had everything! She was tall, had the brightest smile that seemed to lighten up any room she stepped into. Long silky hair, beautiful eyes and long legs was a combination I couldn't even dare to compete with. Jide would tell me many times "I fell for her". I the early days, time words never meant anything, they only made me laugh. Actually though, He could get me laugh literally over anything. I liked his smile. His pink lips had a beautiful way of parting slightly in such a way that made it seem like the brightness in his eyes had somehow travelled towards his lips. He had his way of connecting to me in ways no one else could. Every guy who came around me had to subconsciously pass the "Jide-Test." I compared everything! How he walked, his smile, the way he responded to my concerns, his jokes, how he ate.... Everything! And slowly, I began to get entangled....... 1 1 Like 2 Shares |
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kinglekan: Indeed! You have made a valid point.. Thanks Boss. I would heed your advice asap. How was today? |
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kinglekan: Well, it wouldn't do justice tell the story in one monotonous stretch. It took 4 years of ups and downs before we started a relationship and there's a lesson to learn each step of the way. 1 Like |
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kinglekan and mediocre....I'm sorry, I was so tired last night I just slept off. RMClub I've replied your mail, Thanks 2 Likes |
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"Look I have told you before, Jide and I are just friends. Stop all these your plenty thoughts joor". That was me again on another denial scenario with the girls. They just wouldn't get off my case. And just when I had thought to hear the last of it, Nkechi sprang up "Abi you de fear say because of that Ajebo pikin wey de gum body for am?" As all attention returned back to the topic, I cringed inwardly. Nkechi was usually the brash one, always saying things exactly as she thought them to be regardless of their obvious wrongness. That day though, she was right. I was really scared of competing with Nike - The Ajebo pikin. However, I wasn't about to let myself appear as the loser and so I rose in my defense - "Babes na lie na, who she be? Y'all know that if I wanted Jide I would get him and very easy too". Well, that was a lie and everyone present in that room knew it. I was no match for Jide but trust Nkechi with her evil ways "See this one de make mouth o! Oya na prove am, if that bobo ever look you pass sisterzoning, na me Nkechi go personally make sure say CHEM 350 lecturer no ever disturb you for this school again!". We all turned to look at Nkechi each for different reasons. You see,rumor had it that our friend Nkechi was a runz girl and slept with lecturers for grades. Infact I had once heard that she did something with a cultist and the guy had threatened all the lecturers to do her bidding or die. I had never believed them, because I mean, She was my roomie and a good friend at that. But today, right before our faces, she had unwittingly acknowledged the fact that she had some connection with our lecturers capable of getting Dr. Lawal off my neck. Well, I could only care less about her methods, getting the old flirty man of me was enough incentive to make me even grovel at her feet. And here, I didn't even need to grovel, I only had to get Jide show them himself as being all over me. How hard could it be? I giggled with excitement at the thought of telling Jide the plan I had hatched in my mind. Naturally mischievous and known for being the lady's man, Jide was gong to love my idea! I looked up at Nkechi with a defiant expression on my face, fire in my eyes and mischief in my smile saying "Game on Sister!" She laughed at the ridiculousness of my pose shaking my hands simultaneously as she re-echoed my words "Game on Sister!" And so it was, "Game on!" 1 Like 2 Shares |
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mediocre: Well-done #ThumbsUp And you are still alive..... Hurray! ![]() |
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kinglekan: Lolz okay I'd try to pen something down after close of work today. Watch out for it ![]() ![]() |
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kinglekan: I was... Nobody seemed interested in hearing it na ![]() |
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Kaleydd2000: You are doing well. These efforts go a long way! Especially prayer. God wants our marriages to last for a lifetime and so He would support your cause. The truth is that Only You can CHOOSE to stop cheating. The good side of your story is that you love your wife, care about her happiness and most importantly that YOU WANT TO STOP. So start with believing that as difficult as it may be, it is achievable. What seems to be the benefit of your cheating is the sexual gratification you get from the other lady. Knowing this means that, if you truly want to stop you are going to have to fill in that vacuum. So after teaching your mind that you want to be with only your wife, sit wify down and have a heart-to-heart conversation with her. In this conversation, don't demand, don't command, don't just ask. Rather plead with your wife, in an emotional discussion tell her how you feel about her attitude towards sex. Make sure it doesn't degenerate into an argument... In fact have the conversation when she's happy and preferably have her cuddled up to you, stroking her hair while at it. The idea is to get her relaxed. Explain to her that you are willing to accept some compromises - Which means she may not have to go all the way with your desires but that you'd appreciate that she makes effort to make it happen . let her know you are willing to make the journey fun. Take it upon yourself to make Sex enjoyable for her. Don't push, just teach her to love you just as good as you want it. To do this though, you are going to need to delete all pornographic images and videos and stop yourself from watching more. More so, the other girl should be deleted. Don't allow your body deceive you into "one last time..." Take her out of your life for good. Phone number, social media, everywhere, delete and block her. Else she would keep disturbing every progress you make. Assignment for you: Every day, come here and share with us one little thing your wife did right or one small thing she did that you appreciated or liked. We don't want to hear the big things, just those tiny details. Which means you have to take care to watch out for the tiny details - Which could be the way she smiled, the way her hair looked, how neatly she arranged the house, how she carefully organised you clothes, those little little things. We want to hear at least one everyday. Additionally, plan your schedule to make for date-night once a week. The date doesn't have to be expensive, it could just be a walk on Saturday or Sunday evening. The idea is to recreate the magic in your marriage. Your marriage should keep you so busy, you have no time for other women |
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CplusJason: ![]() |
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CplusJason: Ehwooooo I promised you chicken? I can't remember o ![]() How about we have that talk you are owing me - this time as a treat from me |
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Kaleydd2000: Your reasons are fair enough. Next step is: What do you think can be done to stop? |
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kinglekan: Thanks Boss! New year, new Signature-colour? ![]() I'm doing great too. Thanks for responding ![]() 1 Like |
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Top of the day guys! How are you doing? Kinglekan, CplusJason, Jayson1, howdy ![]() |
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O0ni: Yes I understand that coming out from a bad relationship, you may feel the this way. But use this time to learn more about yourself and love yourself, that way when love happens you would have something to give. Love "hopes" all things.... So just because you've had a bad experience doesn't mean love doesn't exist or that you can't have it. You can if you allow your heart to just be open to it. Don't stress it, don't go searching for love, it would just happen and when it does, you'd be better for it |
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O0ni: You want to stop believing in love? |
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O0ni: Sorry about your hurt. I'm glad you finally decided your were better than being a "Plan B" Don't stop believing in love though....one would find you when and where you least expect it to ![]() 1 Like |
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mediocre: First things first, There's no such thing in the practicality of Love that says " i would die without her. I would literally die" You have to wake yourself up from this illusion! When God created you, he didn't create an Eve for you without whom you would die. In fact even Adam, who God specifically created a partner for, did not need Eve for survival. Talk less of you who met and fell in love with a random person on God's big earth. Now that you've woken up from that illusion (hopefully), the next thing you should note is that: you shouldn't have to beg for crumbs of a woman's love. The reason is simple - when a woman truly loves, she gives herself into the love. So if you have a woman that has to make you grovel at her feet for crumbs of affection, then you should wake up to reality and accept that you really do not have her. You getting the crumbs of another man's main course dish. Now let's test your theory about being unable to live without her. Decide for one week that you would stay without contacting her. Give us an update of how each day went, and if you are not dead by the 7th day, I guess we'd all know the real truth of the situation. 1 Like |
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sexymoma: Good evening dear. It would have been quite presumptuous for me to assume that he was cheating without any evidence. The essence of the thread is to help guide individuals away from assumptions especially negative assumptions. ***** Okay, now you are certain he has another woman. My question is: Why are you still wasting your precious time with another woman's man? He's obviously not giving you the kind of attention you would want from your man because he isn't yours. The sooner you let him out, the quicker you get your own man. If he's allowing her sleepover and even make night calls which isn't a norm for him, you shouldn't wait to be told to your face. As for him calling you.... Well he's enjoyed your attention, it's only human to ask why it stopped. But you should respect your self enough to tell him to his face that you are done. Stop selling yourself short and stressing your life monitoring his new relationship. You are way above that. Value yourself enough to tell him straight up to spend his time in his new relationship and leave you alone. You don't have to be The Other Woman - REFUSE IT 4 Likes |
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Kaleydd2000: Where there is a will....... The most important thing is that you want to stop. Identifying the need to stop is a key factor in actually stopping. But it only does as much as it can. Next, you need to examine why you want to stop. Is it because of the guilt? Or because you are convinced that your actions are wrong? If you don't feel it as wrong in your gut, it becomes easier to fall prey. Because after some time of repeated affairs, your conscience would become sensitised to the adultery and stop feeling guilty, it thus becomes easier to sin. So first of all, Try to think and tell me: what are your true reasons why you want to stop cheating on ur wife? Please feel free to say as many reasons as there are |
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Good evening everyone... I'm really sorry for being AWOL. Pardon me please, I had to urgently attend to some issues. But I'm back Now. Let's get the ball rolling! ![]() |
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Hello dear... Its a fine desire to get married in as much as you don't get desperate about it. I feel you are being satirical though and the desperation is hyped for our humour. But underneath the mission to make us smile, I think you must have thought this out even if in your subconscious. You would find a man dear. But remember, that no man is better than a wrong man. So be you, and love would find you if you keep your heart open to possibilities. As much as you desire to get hooked, use your brain as you listen to your heart dear. All the best! Do give us gist when you find Him ![]() 4 Likes 1 Share |
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Kaleydd2000 : I guess the different positions she isn't giving you are the ones you see on porn videos right? How old is your marriage? |
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Kaleydd2000:Stressors like some situations or factors that could make you cheat on her. Probably there's a tempting Female who is on ur case... Or maybe you have been watching pornography Or you feel your wife is losing her sexual appeal... So is there anything that could be prompting you to cheat? |
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