Thank you all for your advice, funny comments and words of encouragement, it really helped a lot.

Thryphosa:
The OP is seriously in lust with that girl, this one no be love o. Pls be a man and let her go, you will surely find someone better that her. Before you start pointing fingers to me, I was in your shoe when I was still searching, but immediately I find out you're a cheat, I back out. Thank God today for those decisions I made then, now married with my best friend who doesn't hide anything from me, can lay my hands on her phone anytime, picks her call and all that.

OP, dump that girl, and move on.

I believe you didn't read to the end else you'd have seen that I said we ain't together no more

drealcivilceno:


Dude you have described her part in your life and she is not giving it. It is always business as usual. You have left her and you should feel good gradually...

Take your time. Go out and have fun and remember, there is no void in your life unless you dug it. No loves you better than you love yourself...

Do not mind people shouting dump her ass, that is toxic.

Face your future, guy seriously, Face it!

Thanks, I really do appreciate

madone:
u wriit well sha Weldon oo

Thank you

madone:
my guy the last I checked people with genuine story of break up no dey get plenty write up like this oo. ur own even get paragraph. the girl must be right for cheating cos ur life must boring and stereotype. only cheating u are giving paragraphs and heading if I am the girl I will cheat again and again

Lol haba. I just had to express myself in writing

Mariangeles:


NEVER TAKE HER BACK EVEN IF YOU'RE DYING FROM HEARTBREAK!
The reality is, that part of your life is dead! Accept it.
The good news is, with time, your heart will heal and be whole again.

Yeah! I can never take her back. I just have to move on

Descortes:
and she doesn't miss you or beg for you both to come back together?

She actually does but I can't go back. Sometimes she still comes around the house

adewumiopeyemi:
Break up with her if you want to have an health life


Note wether you forgive her or not she will still cheat on you

Think twice

We've broken up already

How I got to know about her infidelity

At that time, I was really bent on finding out all her misdeeds though I knew I would get hurt, but I just had to do it. As God will have it, there was one morning when we were about going to church and while she was having her bath, I took her phone and went to her Whatsapp chat with the guy she claimed was her primary school classmate and I could not believe what I saw. In the chat, the guy asked her what they were and she said they were sex mates… My heart began beating faster and I seriously wanted to go to the toilet after reading that (laughs). Immediately she came out from the bathroom, I confronted her and she said it was a game they were playing on Whatsapp that it’s not true. Now, where I messed up was I didn’t really go through the chat and I wasn’t thinking straight at that time so I took her word for it because she sounded so convincing and innocent trust me so I let it go and we went to church.

After I was this close at finding out her misdeeds, she now made her Whatsapp accessible using a pin code and that was what really ascertained me that she actually was a cheat and I said to myself that this time, I must get it right. For my plan to work, I needed her Whatsapp pin so one day while she was with her phone, I pretended to be asleep and when she was about typing her Whatsapp pin, I quickly looked stylishly and I finally got it.

One fateful day, she went out with her female friend and left her phone at my place because it was dead so after she left, I quickly used my laptop to power on the phone and immediately went to her Whatsapp to go through the chats again and this time, carefully so I did just that and from what I saw, she really was a cheat, in fact, the chat was really nasty and I can’t speak of it. Truth is after I read it all, I cried my eyes out cause I felt used and betrayed by someone I trusted a lot. After I got hold of myself, I called her friend so I could speak to her but she hung up so I waited till the next day for her to get back.

The next day seemed to take forever to come but nevertheless, it came and I couldn’t wait to hear another lie from her but at the same time, I was eager to see her cause I feel a void in me whenever she isn’t close to me. Anyways, she later came back and was apologetic, she said she hid it from me because she was scared I would break up and that she never had sex with the guy (I still don’t believe that) but they’ve kissed. It was all like a dream to me but I had to accept reality and although what she did hurt me, I was ready to forgive her and put everything behind as long as she stays away from the so-called primary school classmate, I guess she wasn’t ready to be forgiven. She still spoke to the guy regularly and said she would stop speaking to him soon that she can’t just stop talking to him like that… I was dumbfounded sincerely.

To cut the long story short, I kept having this bitterness inside of me whenever I think of what she did and it was driving me crazy so things fell apart and we went our separate ways.

Conclusion

One of my greatest fear right now is that I’m still in love with her despite all that has happened and that I might not be able to love another the same way or if possible, more. I really want to see her happy, I really do but also, I want her to experience the pain I went through or even far greater pain cause I’m still hurting inside and I don’t know how to let go of this hurt other than thinking about it or expressing it out in writing. The biggest question I have that has gone unanswered is “why did I have to be cheated on and lied to the face?”. I remember her looking me in the eye and telling me there is nobody else, that I’m the only guy she’s with presently… isn’t that witchcraft?

Now I keep asking myself if I was an experiment to her or was I just used to while away time though I have no answer to those questions yet but I’d really like to know if she truly ever loved me but I surely can say I loved her deeply and I still do to the moon and back.

Before I start, I'm actually an old member of Nairaland but had to create a new account for privacy's sake.

From the very start, I knew something was coming but what I did not know was that it will be of such profound magnitude. I’ll have to admit I never really saw such deceit coming, not even in my wildest imagination. Left to me, she was the most perfect girl I’ve ever come across but like they do say, when it’s too good to be true, then it definitely is. If there is one thing I so much detest in a relationship, it’s infidelity.

One thing infidelity does is that it messes with the affected person psychologically to the point it becomes improbable to trust again. I believe we all have a choice to abstain from infidelity, if not for our self-esteem then for the respect we have for our partner and if both reasons can’t keep oneself from it then I’d say such a person doesn’t deserve to be loved. Cheating on a partner makes one look cheap and that’s how I saw it when I fell a victim of infidelity. I saw my partner as a cheap, deceitful person who simply wants to get down with any guy that comes around (That’s literally how I felt and still do).

Before I became a victim of infidelity, I initially had my fears due to rumors I heard about my partner sleeping around though that was before we started dating or so I thought. When we started dating, I held her in high esteem because I believed she valued her dignity, was matured, or at least so I thought and would not indulge in such but guess I was wrong. She lost the respect I had for her the moment her game was up. Now all I see when I look at her is a “loose girl” and it pains me a lot cause deep down I’m still in love with her and at the same time, I’m angry and bitter for the way I was deceived and emotionally traumatized.

The suspicion

Okay, there was this guy (Buchi) I knew was always calling her and all but she said he was her classmate right from primary school and that’s all. Though it was difficult to swallow, I did let it slide and put it behind me until I noticed something different. Anytime he called, they no longer speak English but Igbo and though I’m Igbo, it’s embarrassing that I can’t speak or hear most things so that was the advantage she had. It got to a point where she’ll go outside to answer his call and anytime they finish talking on the phone, she’ll become moody and this really got my attention big time. Whenever I ask her why does she become moody whenever she talks to him, she claims it’s nothing that she’s just like that although she gets moody a times, this was beyond normal.

From everything that was happening, I did not need a prophet to tell me that there was something wrong so I decided to find out what was really happening.